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Actually We Do Need Him - Printable Version

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+----- Thread: Actually We Do Need Him (/showthread.php?tid=24239)

Pages: 1 2


Actually We Do Need Him - woelkers - 07-25-2020

It turns out that it is really hard to play offense without anybody pretending to play QB, so...

COL QB Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff McDummy @infinitempg COL
S24: $4M

Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff will receive three head pats per week from woelker11.
Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff will also receive a new pair of shoes to chew on from woelker11.
Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff will be allowed on the couch in Frick_Nasty's office.
Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff will be given a dog bed by the window in woelker11's office.
Colorado additionally promises to put Wolfeschleglsteinhausenbergerdorff down mercifully when the time comes.

At the time of signing, Wolfie McDummy has 986 TPE.


Actually We Do Need Him - infinitempg - 07-25-2020

(07-25-2020, 01:43 PM)woelker11 Wrote:It turns out that it is really hard to play offense without anybody pretending to play QB, so...

COL QB Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff McDummy @infinitempg COL
S24: $4M
S25: $4M (MO)
S26: $4M (MO)
S27: $4M (MO)

Colorado additionally promises to put Wolfeschleglsteinhausenbergerdorff down mercifully when the time comes.

At the time of signing, Wolfie McDummy has 986 TPE.

smh didn't even reach out to negotiate my contract

i will not sign until the following is added:
  • every august 1st is declared "wolfie day"
  • all yeti must provide at least one treat a week to wolfie, preferably bacon flavored
  • wolfie is immune from any responsibilities in the yeti locker room or war room
  • the yeti will pay for colorblind therapy so that wolfie learns which team is his
  • the yeti must create and release a stuffed "wolfie mcdummy" plush for sale to wolfie's fans
  • wolfie will no longer be banned from the locker room couches
  • wolfie will no longer have to pose for pictures with a cardboard sign shaming him for throwing pick sixes
  • woelkers will not yell at wolfie for chasing rabbits
thank you and bork bork


Actually We Do Need Him - infinitempg - 07-25-2020

thanks to @thevoicelesscreator for adding these terms to the contract
  • wolfie demands a new dog house with the best air conditioner and a window to stare at the squirrels through
  • a new pair of subwoofers for the locker room
  • steaks on the daily because wolfie is a good boy



Actually We Do Need Him - woelkers - 07-25-2020

(07-25-2020, 06:56 PM)infinitempg Wrote:smh didn't even reach out to negotiate my contract

i will not sign until the following is added:
  • [/li]
  • every august 1st is declared "wolfie day"
  • all yeti must provide at least one treat a week to wolfie, preferably bacon flavored
  • wolfie is immune from any responsibilities in the yeti locker room or war room
  • the yeti will pay for colorblind therapy so that wolfie learns which team is his
  • the yeti must create and release a stuffed "wolfie mcdummy" plush for sale to wolfie's fans
  • wolfie will no longer be banned from the locker room couches
  • wolfie will no longer have to pose for pictures with a cardboard sign shaming him for throwing pick sixes
  • woelkers will not yell at wolfie for chasing rabbits
thank you and bork bork
I'll give you three additional head pats per week, and an old pair of my shoes to chew on, take it or leave it.


Actually We Do Need Him - infinitempg - 07-25-2020

(07-25-2020, 02:00 PM)woelker11 Wrote:I'll give you three additional head pats per week, and an old pair of my shoes to chew on, take it or leave it.

[Image: giphy.gif]

don't make me sign with the otters they offered all my demands and a new pair of shoes


Actually We Do Need Him - woelkers - 07-25-2020

(07-25-2020, 07:01 PM)infinitempg Wrote:[Image: giphy.gif]

don't make me sign with the otters they offered all my demands and a new pair of shoes
Even @Laser isn't that stupid. Plus, old shoes have more flavor.


Actually We Do Need Him - infinitempg - 07-25-2020

(07-25-2020, 02:04 PM)woelker11 Wrote:Even @Laser isn't that stupid. Plus, old shoes have more flavor.

they chew better though


Actually We Do Need Him - woelkers - 07-25-2020

(07-25-2020, 07:04 PM)infinitempg Wrote:they chew better though
Okay fine, new shoes, but you're getting a one year deal.


Actually We Do Need Him - infinitempg - 07-25-2020

(07-25-2020, 02:06 PM)woelker11 Wrote:Okay fine, new shoes, but you're getting a one year deal.

give the doghouse, no more shaming, and access to the couches, and you have a deal


Actually We Do Need Him - woelkers - 07-25-2020

(07-25-2020, 07:08 PM)infinitempg Wrote:give the doghouse, no more shaming, and access to the couches, and you have a deal
You can have the couch in @Frick_Nasty's office and a dog bed in mine. That's my final offer.