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+---- Thread: (S3) - Weekend PT #5 - Conspiracies (/showthread.php?tid=5085)
(S3) - Weekend PT #5 - Conspiracies - JKortesi81 - 10-07-2017
One of the greatest conspiracies in the league has to be how the Arizona Outlaws keep winning. I’m fairly new to the league, yet all I see are “Arizona Outlaws” this and “Arizona Outlaws” that. How does a team keep winning all of the time? Weren’t they all expansion teams to start? Didn’t they start on the same footing? So how did one team magically get all of the calls and have the refs in their back pocket? How did they start out 11-0 this season before having to throw a game against Baltimore to make it seem as though they could be potentially be beaten? There’s a lot of questions surrounding this team, and as a prospect waiting to be drafted, I’d like them to be solved before I get to the league and have my career sullied by a bunch of potential cheaters always winning everything. Unless of course I end up getting drafted by the Arizona Outlaws. Then I’ll have nothing bad to say about them because I’m sure they’re just a model franchise that goes the extra mile to win fairly. But until that day comes, I’d be willing to bet there’s some back door hanky panky going on in the league offices. Maybe.
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(S3) - Weekend PT #5 - Conspiracies - PDXBaller - 10-07-2017
Week 10. Philadelphia Liberty versus Yellowknife Wraiths at the Burial Ground arena. The score is 14-17 and the Liberty have the ball at the Yellowknife 33 after a failed pass by Clifford Rove to Paul DiMirio.
In a series of odd events, kicker Stephen Harris opts to punt the ball. Throngs of Liberty fans are in disbelief as they screech at their TV’s in confusion as to why Harris chose to punt instead of kicking the ball at the 33. Was it because he missed 2 earlier field goals this game that his confidence was shaken? Official reports conclude that there was confusion on the sidelines and special teams coach Andy Jackson erroneously signaled to the squad to punt instead of going for the field goal to tie the game. However, there’s a conspiracy theory around Philadelphia that the Wraiths made a bloodpact this game in exchange for the victory. There is a rumor that the Burial Grounds arena was constructed on an ancient native burial ground where sacrifices were made to deities of the past. There are a few crucial pieces of evidence that supports the bloodpact theory.
1) If you look closely on the field of the Burial Grounds arena, there are patches of turf that are discolored slightly with a red hue. Every patch happens to coincide with all the locations where Harris missed his field goals.
2) Before the game, Rove mentioned pain in his throwing arm and after the medial team reviewed it extensively there appeared to be no signs of muscle damage. However, Rove distinctly recalled a dream he had the night before where a hooded skeleton visited him in his home and grabbed him by the arm. Rove threw only 25 passes this game. That's less than the successful passes that Orosz threw!
3) The Liberty team plane experienced unexpected turbulence on the way to Yellowknife and special teams coach Andy Jackson was sleeping as his head bounced off the side of the plane. Oddly enough, the coach didn’t wake from his slumber during the violent jostle of the plane. During the pregame meeting, other Liberty staff members noted Jackson acting odd (more than usual) as he kept complaining about his right ear feeling like “it was going to fall off” and he cupped it for most of the day. This may have been the cause of the confusion on the field as the special teams signal for punting is the cupped ear!
Although nothing can be proven with certainty, what we can determine is a strange series of events that occurred during week 10 for the Liberty.
(S3) - Weekend PT #5 - Conspiracies - 7hawk77 - 10-07-2017
This isn't a conspiracy. This is fact. I will probably be assassinated for putting this out there.
The entire sim league is a lie. It all started when the teams we're chosen. The outlaws placed the simmer on their own team, and then sent Raven's fan from Ontario to Las Vegas, Perkules to San Jose, Shaka to OCO, Noble to the yeti and Bzerkcap to the wraiths. What followed was a series of GM screw ups from simple inactive GMing (Perkules and Shaka), to self destructive trades (RFFO), to cheating to destroy their own team. The funny part is they didn't even need to do all of this since Er can just rig all of the simulation games. This is to set up an ultimus run for the Outlaws for seasons to come. Why would they do this? Well it is the will of the Illuminati. I haven't been able to track down who is definitively involved in the illuminati, but I do know one thing for sure. Archon and Noble are the same person and we're used to distract the rest of the league.
On top of that, TPE is meaningless, everyone's characters are the same and the stats don't effect the game output.
205 words
(S3) - Weekend PT #5 - Conspiracies - Pat17 - 10-07-2017
![[Image: Ea9Uo08.jpg]](https://i.imgur.com/Ea9Uo08.jpg)
(S3) - Weekend PT #5 - Conspiracies - TimPest - 10-07-2017
![[Image: gBWmUpd.jpg]](https://i.imgur.com/gBWmUpd.jpg)
(S3) - Weekend PT #5 - Conspiracies - ADwyer87 - 10-08-2017
The greatest conspiracy ever has been uncovered. Criminal mastermind @Bzerkap is clearly trying to destroy the league, all for the Wraiths benefit! How do we know this? Look at our evidence.
First of all, they have @Archon gone. You wouldn't think that this is a positive, but thats because you aren't thinking right. Open your eyes, sheeple!! Archon is not gone, he is just waiting. bzerkap is clearly fishing for sympathy. He wants everyone to see how his precious 9th overall pick was bullied out of the league by the big bad Outlaws, to try and sway support for his team and away from the league dynasty Outlaws. Then, when the Wraiths make the big splash in FA, Archon will suddenly reappear! Just you wait, people.
Next is his being head of updating. Its obvious what hes doing with this. He wants to have full control over all players stats. This way, he can target players who are free agents and lower their attributes, thus making them have bad seasons and therefore making them want to seek out greener pastures. Or in the case for Yellowknife, whiter ones.
Stay woke, NSFL! bzerkap is an evil mastermind and he is trying to control you! This has been Alex Jones with infowars
(S3) - Weekend PT #5 - Conspiracies - PigSnout - 10-08-2017
Season 2 ended on a controversial note with the Colorado Yeti missing the playoffs on a tiebreaker despite being the best team in the NSFC. The tiebreaker can down to total points scored, which is not a part of the NFL tiebreakers. If deviating from the NFL tiebreakers, the logical choice would be to use point differential. Either other tiebreaker approach would have allowed the Yeti to make the playoffs but total points allowed was the only conceivable tiebreaker that allowed the Wraiths to make it over the Yeti. If the tiebreaker was not suspicious enough, the tie only happened in the first place because the Yeti lost a home game against the Legion which test simulations gave them a 92% chance of winning. There were too many unlikely occurrences leading to the Wraiths making the playoffs over the Yeti that I do not believe this was a natural occurrence. I believe the Wraiths made a deal with the devil. It's obvious when you think about it. The Wraith's logo is basically an image of Satan. Some might argue that there is no evidence of Wraiths players performing Satanic rituals, but I will counter that there is no evidence that the Wraiths players are not performing Satanic rituals. At the beginning of Season 3, the Wraiths added somebody named "Archon" to their management team. "Archon" joined the league near the end of Season 2 and coincidentally happened to be a part of the Legion team that beat the Yeti and kept them out of the playoffs. "Archon" also waged a war against the Hawks, who were the greatest rival to the Wraiths in the NSFC in Season 2. Who is this "Archon" person who recently mysteriously vanished? I have sources within the Hawks' locker room who believe they have evidence that "Archon" and Satan are the same person. It makes sense that he helped the Wraiths make the playoffs and then mysteriously vanished the next season. Immediately afterward, the Wraiths lost a game against the Yeti that they had a greater than 90% chance of winning. And now the Wraiths, despite being the most talented team in the NSFC, are about the miss the playoffs just like how the most talented team in the NSFC in Season 2 missed the playoffs at the Wraiths's expense. The Wraiths made a deal with the devil to make the playoffs over the Yeti in Season 2 and now they are paying the price by suffering the same fate themselves. Now if this is a story between the Wraiths and the Yeti, you may be wondering why Satan/"Archon" spent so much time tormenting the Hawks. This is because the Hawks also made a deal with the devil. Satan gave the Hawk's star tight end, Caramel Gibson, 160 extra TPE to help them make the playoffs but as payment, he came to the NSFL to torment the Hawks and drive their players away. This is the data I have gathered so far about how Satanism is impacting the results of NSFL games, we will see if anything further arises from this.
Quote:516 Words
(S3) - Weekend PT #5 - Conspiracies - Sanctus - 10-08-2017
![[Image: jcNEjRN.jpg]](https://i.imgur.com/jcNEjRN.jpg)
(S3) - Weekend PT #5 - Conspiracies - BoltyMcSpeedy - 10-08-2017
I. DID. NOT. PUT. F*CKING. GECKO. BLOOD. INTO. MY. VEINS. PERIOD!
Im so sick of talking about this. You want a conspiracy?! Ill give you a g*ddamn conspiracy. Im conspirin' to put my foot up yalls asses. I LOVE F*CKING GECKOS, WHY IS THAT SUCH A CRIME?! I mean, i.. f*cking LOVE geckos... order there is important..
Yeah, im sure this has been brought up here already. Sh*t follows me around like the plague. You want a real conspiracy why dont you ask that fat f*ck Buster Mimes how he likes having herpes. BECAUSE HES GOT IT NOW. YOU HEAR THAT MIMES?! YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE MY GIRL, MIMES?!
That piece of sh*t, fat, waste of space "AGENT" has been sleeping around with my girl. Says i "owe him money" and thats how he "choose to collect".. weird that i "owed him money", yet he HAS ALL MY GAME CHECKS STILL!!!
I dont even have food in my pantry, my girl's gone. IVE HAD TO RESORT TO EATING MY PETS! My poor babies... ohh the babies are the sweetest ones.. I DONT KILL THEM... i eat them only i extract their blo...bod..ies from their uh, the pile.. when they die i put them in a pile and then i extract their bodies from that pile heh... after they die of natural causes.. eh.. dehydration mostly..
TELL THAT ASSH*LE MIMES IM COMING FOR HIM, AND IM GONNA HIT HIM WHERE IT HURTS!! BURNSMANS GOT NOTHING TO LOSE
(two hundred and forty f*cking nine words)
(S3) - Weekend PT #5 - Conspiracies - MacTonight - 10-08-2017
If you're looking for conspiracy you need to look no further than Season 3's biggest surprise, the Baltimore Hawks defeat of the near invincible Arizona Outlaws and on the Outlaws turf no less. The Hawks are no strangers to controversy (I believe enough has been said about previous Seasons indiscretions), however this may be the spiciest story to sweep across Outlaw nation since the beginning of time.
Did anyone see who loaded the supply of Gatorade for both teams? I have on good authority DSFL standout Mitch Maslin wearing a fake beard and going by the name Randy Misnomer was the Gatorade Procurement Specialist, and let's just say Mr Misnomer added a few extra ingredients to the supply. That's right ladies and gentleman, it is believed Maslin injected Hawk cloaca extract (known for its potency in the bedroom, and the bathroom) directly into the bottles of Tropical and Blue before they were delivered. I knew the Hawks were willing to do whatever it took, but sending one of the players you sent down to the DSFL to poison your opposition ranks #4 on the Hawks list of nefarious acts.
How will the Outlaws respond to such blatant unsportsmanlike conduct? Only time will tell.