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(S1) - Weekend PT #2 - Mascot - BenderRodriguez - 06-18-2017

The Colorado Yeti mascot is, as you might expect, a yeti.

Trogdar is not your everyday actor dressed in a suit, though. Standing at an approximate 8 foot 7 inches, nobody is really sure who or what is under the yeti costume (or if it's a costume at all). All efforts to unmask the mascot have proven unfruitful. When a fan's hands reach toward Trogdar's face, he becomes enraged and begins bludgeoning anything within his 9 foot wingspan. A few hooligans have spent the second half of Yeti games in the local hospital. Efforts to restrain Trogdar also proved unsuccessful, as he is stronger than several men and is resistant to tazing.

When asked, the Yeti GM and owner have nothing of value to comment about the mascot. Some fans believe him to be an actual Yeti, others believe him to be a circus freak. Most, however, are in agreement that the owner and GM did not hire the mascot, but that he showed up at their first game and has been active in the stands for every one since.

Other than the few unruly incidents, Trogdar is actually very friendly and loves getting the fans riled up for the Yeti. His favorite food is nachos. Don't be around when they lose, though. After their week 4 loss to the Hawks, Trogdar removed rows 9, 10, and 11 from section 114 and threw them onto the field in disgust. No one was injured in the event.


(S1) - Weekend PT #2 - Mascot - Player1 - 06-18-2017

Mascots are always meant to be memorable for the fans, but the downside is they're not always memorable in a good way. Before the current incarnation of the Otters mascot, they briefly used another named Ollie Otter, the kid friendly sideline suit that only appeared in two preseason games. Ollie's biggest downfall was his color, the team decided that bright colors were appealing to modern fans, so the Ollie suit was a putrid bright orange that looked like it may have been radioactive. Fans took to less than affectionately calling him "Cheetoh Man" and "Carrot Top", among other more profane and drunken insults. Ollie's second biggest flaw was the man within the suit, Larry McCann. McCann seemed like a stand up guy in his interview, but shortly before the Otters' first preseason game he learned his wife was having an affair which promptly ended their relationship. Between the sweltering heat, poorly ventilated suit, and constant jeering of the fans, Larry cracked and brawled with several fans during halftime Week 2 against the SaberCats. Ultimately Larry won the fistfight despite incredible odds, however he lost everything else in the process. Shortly after, Ollie Otter met a similar end as the team decided to pursue a more modest mascot that didn't have the negative press.

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(S1) - Weekend PT #2 - Mascot - RainDelay - 06-18-2017

Many people think of the extinct saber-toothed tiger as a ferocious beast with unparalleled strength and agility. These animals were fighters and would stalk and rip their prey to shreds.

So people have a hard time believing a team with this name could have a lovable mascot? Well they must have not yet met Scotty the SaberCat!

Scotty wears a tan sabertoothed tiger costume that has a friendly face and San Jose jersey, number double-zero. He looks so nice and loving, that nobody could be afraid of him. During drives, he leads chants in various crowd sections throughout the game. And in between quarters, he interacts with the home fans and often takes pictures with them. He never says no to pictures with fans, even if he has to spend extra time on it. That's just the kind of generous mascot Scotty is. He will also never say no to signing autographs!

With his friendly, fun-loving attitude, Scotty the SaberCat's popularity has been great, and he is quickly becoming an icon of not only the NSFL team, but of the city of San Jose itself.

I think the mascot is a great way to engage fans even further in the game experience, and is a refreshing new take on an animal that was once feared by everyone!


(S1) - Weekend PT #2 - Mascot - Jogn - 06-18-2017

Following in the footsteps of other football teams, the Wraiths have both a live mascot - something that's either a ghost or a hobo and is definitely horrifying - and a primary mascot, Miner Brett.

Yellowknife was founded on a copper mine, and the primary industry is currently diamond mining. Brett can always be found in the stands, whooping and hollering and dodging Sourdough Sam's lawyers.


(S1) - Weekend PT #2 - Mascot - JBLAZE_THE_BOSS - 06-18-2017

The Orange County Otters took their mascot search seriously. With their team name already setting quite the tone, they decided to scour the planet for the best mascot ideas. The team left it up to the fanbase via an online poll. There were thousands of nominations. Several hundred of them were not appropriate, whatsoever. With that being said, it took the PR Dept longer than they anticipated to name the mascot. The final choices were: Raymundo, Oliver, Oscar, Otto, Tito, or Squid. This journalist personally wanted the Otter to be from Orange County via Hawaii. I wanted a fancy back story to everything. The problem is, not everyone thinks like me and that truly makes me upset. The fans ended up choosing Oscar the Otter, which is a reasonable thing to do if you want to be a family friendly organization. With the NSFL just starting up, they need all of the good publicity they can possibly get. Of course Oscar will be at all of the team events and home games, but he is also available for functions such as Bar Mitzvahs and birthdays. Oscar the Otter could be the missing piece of happiness between your children respecting you or wanting to become drug addicts.


(S1) - Weekend PT #2 - Mascot - EvanR123 - 06-18-2017

The mascot for the Yellowknife Wraiths is Swoopy the Wraith. As you may guess, Swoopy looks scary and all the fans run away immediately upon gazing at him. He wears a black cloak and a mask that terrifies not only the fans, but the opposing teams that come to play in Yellowknife. This tends to give the Wraiths an advantage in games, even more so than the normal home field advantage may give. He has also killed a recorded 11 people and it is thought to have 43 other instances undocumented. Run cunts.


(S1) - Weekend PT #2 - Mascot - Jepox - 06-18-2017

The Baltimore Hawks have a unique mascot for their first season. They have a bird keeper, with an actual trained red-tailed hawk that flies down the sidelines every game. Fans can pet the bird, who's name is Oriole, in reference to Baltimore's MLB team. He has become a fan favorite and will likely be back for next season.


(S1) - Weekend PT #2 - Mascot - Nick - 06-18-2017

Oscar the Otter! He's the Otter mascot and he his a lovely little otter. When Oscar was first adopted we had an inner team conflict about what his name should be. Originally we had gone with Oscar but some opposition to name him Omar. During a debate about naming the otter, Oscar or Omar someone had suggested Oliver. Oliver gained support but was never taken into true consideration. Once everyone had weighed in and gave their opinion Oscar was the clear winner and that was it. Oscar the Otter was the Orange County Otters mascot.

Oscar is just the cutest Otter and has given the team another reason to be united, raising everyone's morale.


(S1) - Weekend PT #2 - Mascot - Sweetwater - 06-18-2017

Sabre the Saber-toothed Tiger is the Sabercats mascot. He starts each home game by riding in on a badass motorcycle, rallying the fans to prepare for the team. He has made a name for himself around the league by being one of the only mascots in sports to travel with the team. But, that's not why he's best known. His biggest gimmick is that he loves to sneak up behind the opposing team's mascot and pounce on them. They all know he's coming, but they're helpless to stop it. He is an apex mascot, and he hunts the others for sport.


(S1) - Weekend PT #2 - Mascot - Deusolis - 06-19-2017

With the lofty goals of disrupting the mascot industry and creating a revolutionary team image, the tech-oriented brain trust of the SaberCats had their work cut out for them. Knowing that a simple animal mascot wouldn't do, "an analog idea in the digital age," they did a deep-dive into market research to try and optimize their mascot.

After four sleepless nights, lots of caffeine and sniffing the ski slopes "just for the experience." They had their eureka moment. "We wanted to zig while everybody else was zagging." Rather than trying to reinvent the wheel with a physical mascot, they adapted the idea for the internet epoch. Enter, iSaber, a paradigm shift in the world of mascots. When a fan enters the state-of-the-art stadium, a green and gold Saber Cat flashes across their home screen before darting to the corner, a perk of being a tech billionaire is phone access. Clicking the Saber Cat icon allows the fan to order food or purchase tickets for later games.

To this point, the largest source of fan interaction with the mascot has come in the form of a class-action lawsuit alleging a massive invasion of privacy. Citing the ongoing litigation, the venture capital firm that owns the SaberCats declined comment. All quotes were taken from the public record.

*The language in this piece is inspired by Silicon Valley business jargon, I don't actually write like a prick*