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(S9) - Ultimus Week - iseedoug - 08-18-2018

Sit down with a fan (@nunccoepi)

1. With such a down last two seasons in SJS it can be helpful to dwell more on the positive. What has been the highlight of you playing career so far?

Yeah it has been a hard two seasons for SJS. For me personally, I think the highlight has just been improving every year. This year I made the transition to playing more speed rusher style than power rusher, and saw huge gains because of it. I not only had a career high tackles, but also a career high of forced turnovers with 2 interceptions and 1 forced fumble and recovery. So, very happy with my progress, and I will continue to strive to get better each season. I want to make a pro bowl, and go down as one of the best linebackers in my era.

2. Your friend, Icy Douglas, was able to do what only two previous teams have done before: win back to back championships. What is next for him?

Just had lunch with Icy the other day, and man he is pumped about what Lucha has going right now. Not only are they winning championships, but they have created a culture that attracts talent. Guys are already saying Lucha is the only place they want to play this next season. Its crazy. As far as what's next for him, it sounds like he wants to continue this GM legacy him and Epictitus have started. I know he has gotten offers to go GM in the NSFL, but as a pair they are pretty unstoppable right now. No reason to change that. I think they stick together for the long-term.

3. You are entering the final year of your contract. Can you give us a preview of what we might expect towards the end of the season?

Yeah I think a lot guys would want to leave a team that has done as poorly as SJS has lately, but I think I will stick it out. While there are lots of guys I would love to play with in the NSFL, I think SJS is going to have some good years in the near future.

4. Some are saying that SJS will be improving rather quickly, especially with the top 2 picks in the upcoming draft. What do you think next season will look like for the Sabrecats?

Yeah I think it is not just the high draft picks this year, but all the guys we can bring up from the DSFL this year. I think we can definitely start winning again. I am excited to play with K. Deringer at LB. I am also excited to see what Flash can do at the next level. Also, with the crazy trade that just happened at QB, I am hoping we can make this a season to remember. Bringing in the Yellowknife legend Mat Akselsen is going to make a huge difference for our offense. Even though we know this is his last year in the league, he knows how to win championships. So, I am hoping the front office takes a win it all approach this year with him under center. It is crazy though, we thought Brad was going to be our franchise guy, but I guess the front office had other plans. I wish Brad the best in Yellowknife. At least he gets to play with his brothers again.


Sit down with a superstar (@nunccoepi)
To be linked here

Unsung Hero:

The Luchadores win back to back Ultimini championships. Pretty magical. There are many players and personnel who came up big this season for the Luchadores, but there are two unsung heroes who I think need mentioning: Thad Pennington and Xandra Troyski. If you are playing good CB, you should have very few traditional stats (Tackle, Int, PDs, etc.), as the ball is never thrown towards you. And that is exactly what Thad and Xandra did during the playoffs, locking down star WRs when it counted. Now, Thad is a DSFL superstar, we all know that. So why is he an “Unsung” hero? Well, late season the Luchadores coaching staff moved Thad from Safety to Cornerback. This switch made huge differences in overall defensive performance, but a huge sacrifice in personal stats for Thad. Thad put his team first. Likewise, rookie Xandra knew that she would need to work hard on getting better with speed and intelligence, but may not see the stats from this hard work. Both players playing together created a huge boost in our defense, as QBs were forced to throw into coverage or run the ball. So, in summary both Thad and Xandra sacrificed personal gain for team gain, ultimately helping the team win it’s 2nd Ultimini.

Future Talent:
Stats during playoffs:

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(S9) - Ultimus Week - mabb - 08-18-2018

1) That Magic Moment: Pick one moment from a playoff game and describe what made it so amazing to watch.
(Must be completed after the game you write about)
The Luchadores continued having a Cinderella season in the Utimini Championship game, and the OT win sealed the deal. After a season of excellent receiving and rushing, where we had two of the top 6 receivers by yards (Flash & Hendrix) and two of the top six RB’s by rushing yards (Adams and Flores), the Luchadores offense sealed the win and the championship in OT against the Pythons. The Lucha defense had struggled a little early on, giving the Pythons an early edge. After being down most of the game against the Pythons, though, the Luchadores kept battling and managed to tie it up at the end. All season, the Luchadores have had some great late game comebacks and moments, but this final game was the nailbiter of all nail biters.

Once the OT period started, Lucha lost no time taking control of the ball and showing the Pythons that the hype had not been overrated on our defense or offense. The defense held solid despite the extended time and kept the Pythons to their own 20 yard line and only one first down in 4 minutes of possession time. After the kickoff, the magic really started. Tijuana received the ball around their own 40 yard line and started their drive down the field. Our best offensive guys had a chance to show their skills. Flores had a nice starting run, then Flash had two receptions for a total of 31 yards. On Flash’s second reception, he was able to break out and go 20 yards before being brought down at the Portland 16. It seemed, for a moment that he might go all the way. Adams finished off the drive, with three rushes for 16 yards, to secure the game ending, season ending, and championship ending TOUCHDOWN.

Word count = 297

2) Unsung Hero:Who was the unsung hero of the playoffs, convince us.
(Can be completed after the Ultimus game)
A player on the Luchadores who has had a really nice season and continued to play well in the post-season was S9 rookie Tanner Hendrix II. In the regular season, he had an average of 12.7 yards per reception, and had the sixth highest receiving yard total in the DSFL with 839 yards. While watching him play through the season, he always made solid plays and helped advance our team down the field. He regularly had some long 20+ yard receptions which really made an impact in our offensive performance and was open when Metaxas or Falconi needed a reliable set of hands in the endzone to get that next first down.

In the playoffs, Hendrix II continued this understated but significant role in the offense. He had 5 receptions for 82 yards in the conference championship against the San Antonio Marshalls, getting two nice long, back-to-back receptions for a combined 30 yards in the 4th quarter, setting up Flash for the final touchdown that secured the win. In the Ultimini championship against the Portland Pythons, Hendrix II saw 7 receptions for 62 yards. What is not noted in a lot of standard stats, is how often Hendrix II was able to move the team to a new 1st down spot, which was quite often. In the Ultimini offensive drive at the end of the 4th quarter, he enabled two first downs with his two 10+ yard receptions. This drive eventually led to the touchdown that tied the game that went to overtime and won the Luchadores the championship Smile

Word count: 261

3) Championship Game Recap: Do a recap of the best play from the championship game.
(Must be completed after the Championship Game)
In the Ultimus Championship game, the play that really stands out as sealing the game for NOLA to me is the pass by Maximus III to Jackson in the middle of the 4th quarter. There were a lot of nice long punt returns previously, some almost 30 yards. But they didn’t really have the same impact as this highlight, end of the drive play. NOLA was only up by 3 points with 7:44 left in regulation time, so it was really anyone’s game at that point. Then, Maximus found Jackson completely open near the right sideline and threw a great leading pass. Jackson must have been saving up his energy for this moment, his glory moment, as he left it all out on the field. The closest Hawks players were at least 5 yards back until he was brought down at the Hawks 15 by Fletcher. There were 5 other Hawks defenders trailing him by then, and it only took two more plays before NOLA had secured a solid lead. This play seemed to really deflate the Hawks, as they were unable to recover and ended up being beat up pretty badly in the remaining minutes of the game. Maybe next year, Hawks!

Word count: 204

4) Going to Disneyland!:Who was the Ultimus MVP? Give us a rundown of their celebratory trip to Disneyland.
(Can be completed after the Ultimus game)
I’m not as in tune with the NSFL, but after watching the Ultimus Championship Game, I think it’s pretty clear that Maximus III is going to be the game’s MVP. He put up some really great numbers, over 300 yards, a few touchdowns, and leading his team to victory. So, to celebrate, as all champs do for some unknown reason, he’s going to Disneyland (although really, he should go to Disneyworld).

While there, I think the first thing he will do is buy a FastPass, because who doesn’t like to skip the lines. Second, without knowing him at all, he strikes me as a Goofy-hat kind of guy, so he’ll get one of those. Thirdly, he seems like such a well-rounded all-star that he’ll cover all the genres of rides - Space Mountain for a little thrill, It’s a Small World for the nostalgia and to get away from the heat, the Tea Cups for some of that whole-body disorientation and mildly headache/stomach-ache inducing fun, and then the log flume to cool off and get that stomach-drop in. Last but not least, as the sun sets on this celebratory day, there will be the laser show, commemorating the NOLA greatness with extra purple and gold. Maximum III will of course have bought some laser souvenirs to bring back memories of this glorious day of fun.

Word Count: 225

(S9) - Ultimus Week - BoltyMcSpeedy - 08-18-2018

Hugh Honey: "ok, ok, ok, let's go ahead and get this shit over with as quickly as possible. What is the first topic I am supposed to talk about despite being a pillar of this league for but a couple weeks?"

Vic Vinegar: " bro, lets start with Hate the player or the game: Tell us which team made the playoffs and shouldn't have, or which team didn't and should have?, Those orange rats definitely should not have made it there without KP"

Hugh: "right, ok so lets start counting words after this sentence then so that Jew lawyer doesn't try and fight this shit, its going to be made up nonsense anyway and we have that working against us already. Which team made the playoffs and shouldn't have? Uh, that's easy. The Otters. You see, it is not that they are bad, they have gone 9 years in a row and they have Erlich Burnsman to thank for most of that"

Vic: "right, Burnsman was a monster, you know we trained karate together. I did the sweetest back flips with him"

Hugh: "dude, you've never done a back flip"

Vic: "I do a back flip every single day of my life bro. I'll do one right n.."

Hugh: "Stop dude, focus, this shit already feels like work, goddammit stay on topic. So anyway, the Otters should not have made the playoffs and Ill tell you why. One, Burnsman wasn't present, those goddamn peasants did not have the balls to keep a real man on their team. Reason two, Kick Puncher isn't even on their team. Sure they have boss, and crush, and westy, and all those other goddamn grandpas, but what they really need is some beefy young men out there to rocket them to the ultimus. No team that loses in the playoffs should go. Only winners. Only New Orleans really belonged.

Vic: "which is weird because I heard they all have foot fetishes"

Hugh: "right, wait. what? How is that relevant? Okay, whatever yeah we will run with that. How many words is this?"

Vic: "227, we only needed 200 dude you need to be efficient"

Hugh: "Well Vic, I think since we're just making this all up from thin air we need to overachieve a little. These fat cats who grade this stuff will surely see through our bullshit so we are banking on creativity. What's next?"

227 words

Vic: "Who was the Ultimus MVP? Give us a rundown of their celebratory trip to Disneyland., fucking Peg Leg, man"

Hugh: "Fucking Peg Leg, you're right. This one is particularly easy because I was there. You see, I like to visit Disney Land. There is a ton of talent there and they're already looking for magic, naturally they're drawn to me. Anyway, so I was at Goofers Goof House and I see this huge crowd forming. Now, it wasn't formed around me as it usually should be. I go over to check it out; 'who the fuck could be drawing this much attention, better be a dead kid' I was thinking. Anyway, i blast through the ring of assholes and there I see him, fucking Peg Leg. Hes blacked out balancing on his stump, spinning like a goddamn top. Clearly out of it. I think he was all fucked up on"

Vic:"dude, isnt Peg a chicks name? I think thats a bitch, not a dude"

Hugh: "Vic you asshole, are we on the same team or what? Ok, ok fine i dont know anything about Peg leg. Truth be told I was pretty browned out myself. You see, I was having drinks with Smallwood at Marky Mouses Magikal Wilderness Pub before i went over to Goofers Goof house. Turns out Smallwood is an alright player. I heard he had a good game but i wouldnt know because I work 80 hours a week and dont have time to watch all of these games and memorize shit like who is the MVP of an imaginary game when our client is still being shitted on in some pee-wee roster. Words?"

Vic:"One sec bro ill check, make sure you point out we did all the research needed to learn those assholes names on another roster, that has to count for something, right?"

Hugh: "I dont give a shit, Vic. I dont care about any of this."

Vic:"But dude what if they dont give us any TPE for this? We need that TPE for Kick Puncher"

Hugh:" News flash asshole, KP is a kicker, he hardly needs any help, he has 2 stats. Can you give me the word count please, but go back to when I asked you, dont include all this other shit, we dont want those losers to get all pissy about their fake points in their fake goddamn football dungeons and dragons shit"

Vic: "282, bro. Shit, man we need to do better we're wasting so much goddamn time. Next is 'Who was the unsung hero of the playoffs, convince us.'

280 words

Hugh: "Right, Vic, because if there was anything I wanted to do on a Saturday afternoon it's convincing a bunch of nerds that WE are the unsung heroes of the playoffs especially since we're not even players"

Vic: "...dude why would you pick us? Why not go look at a roster and pick a ridiculous name again like last time?"

Hugh: "okay, yeah, that worked lets do that..."

Vic:" are you being sarcastic man?"

Hugh: "Vic, listen man. Clearly we're not going to be fooling anyone at this point, half of our conversation has been talking about how full of shit we are. I say if were going to do this we may as well double-down. But dont worry. This one is actually legit. I bet you didnt know we had quite an impact on the big game"

Vic:"What are you talking about bro, we didnt even watch the game. We didnt even know who the shit the second liners were until today. They were not here in season 2 the last time we paid attention to this shit."

Hugh: "Vic, sit down, shut up, and start counting words. I am about to blow your goddamn mind. Tuesday night I was at the bar with Charlie and Dee, right. It was a normal Tuesday, no customers except for Cricket doing PCP in the bathroom. We were all wasted, of course. Anyway, in strolls Frank with this old man. Frank is going on and on about how he's struck gold and he is going to make all kinds of money on the big game. He and that man go into the back corner while the rest of us contemplate playing Chardie MacDennis 3: The reChardyning and then Franks friend gets up and goes into the bathroom. Franks lets us know this crazy plan, well, quite genius really, to have his friend, an NSFL referee tilt the game in favor of Baltimore. Frank was gonna put down a ton of money on the game and his friend would ensure a victory. Well then we here all this noise from the bathroom and we figured goddamn cricket was just talking to himself."

Vic:"Can you hurry this up man you lost my interest like right away"

Hugh: "Ok man chill, this is where it gets good. Turns out Cricket lost it and knocked the ref out. Well, he killed him really, lets call it what it is. After we were done throwing his body in the dumpster we gave Cricks a bag of lemons to go break into that assholes apartment and steal his uniform and credentials. He officiated the game bro!"

Vic:" Wait.. cricket was a ref of the Ultimus? But dude, Baltimore lost..."

Hugh: "Its Cricket man, does that street rat do anything right? They figured it out before the end of the first quarter when he tried to make a tackle and threw his ass out. Anyway, because of us.. well, Cricket really, the game was called fair. If not for him killing that ref the game would've gone to Baltimore and Frank was going to buy us a new boat to replace the last one we burnt to a crisp. That's not even the best part!"

Vic:" Well what is the best part then?"

Hugh:" We finished another one of these goddamn questions. I feel like a fucking child completing his homework"

Vic:" Except we're getting loaded on canned wine"

Hugh:"well, right. Im not going to do this shit sober now am I, get with it. Count?"

Vic:"417! Cmon man."

417 words

Hugh:"Dont forget man, all these counts include all the goddamn formatting codes for color, underlines, and bold font. So we need to overshoot it a bit to not get screwed by these goddamn fake police officers out here. Remember when we got that cop car and used it to get free hot dogs from the cart down the street? Anyway, we did three of these fucking things. I can live with that. We're done here. Pack our shit up lets go."

(S9) - Ultimus Week - timeconsumer - 08-18-2018

Hate the player or the game: Tell us which team made the playoffs and shouldn't have, or which team didn't and should have? (Can be completed at any point)

The Yeti didn't belong in the playoffs. It clearly should have been the Wraiths in that spot but something happened in the gameplans or the odds or something somewhere that made them follow up their Ultimus season with a downright sloppy performance in Season 9. I'm not saying the Yeti aren't good enough, but they definitely aren't as good as the Wraiths and have some pretty serious flaws that can be exposed. But the Yeti were able to string together a few good wins while the Wraiths constantly struggled to finish drives and to get good goalline stands to keep points low. While we all know Akselsen is getting older and losing his legs he still had the arm talent to keep the team in the game, but likely the lack of enough #2 and #3 receivers underneath Kennedy were what defenses were able to exploit. Meanwhile the Yeti snuck in for the first time since season one and didn't put up too bad of a showing either, it is likely that the Yeti could end up making it to the Ultimus game in S10, but they didn't belong there over the Wraiths this year. I need more words, Fuck Dermot.

Going to Disneyland!:Who was the Ultimus MVP? Give us a rundown of their celebratory trip to Disneyland. (Can be completed after the Ultimus game)

Fuego Wozy was easily the MVP of the Ultmus game. A lot of people are going to opt for the flashy positions and choose Maximus or Smallwood for this one but I don't see how you can look past Wozy's excellent performance on defense. He tallied up two sacks, one for a safety. Plays like this kept Blocksdale constantly looking over his shoulder the whole game and threw off the entire rhythm of the offense. Now, to discuss Wozy's trip to Disneyland, well, he went there and went on some rides. At one point he got stuck on Splash Mountain because he's got a fat ass and that ride is made for kids, so they had to grease him up to get him out. A whole crowd stood around to watch and laughed as he struggled to get out of the seat. It was fun for the whole family. Of course after that embarrassing incident he needed some food to lift his spirits again. So Wozy dropped $150 on three hotdogs and a big beer, a bargain really for that kind of venue. Finally, he took some pictures with fans and signed some autographs and rode off into the sunset, leaving his football days behind him.

Unsung Hero:Who was the unsung hero of the playoffs, convince us. (Can be completed after the Ultimus game)

The Unsung hero of the playoffs in none other than the greatest to ever play the game, son of 3x champion lineman, Arbin Asipi Jr. I think we can all agree that our lives are better that we have had the chance to watch Asipi play the game. Sometimes when I'm bored I pull up old game footage of Asipi just to marvel at the strength, speed, power, and agility he possesses while tearing through opposing linemen like paper. And he did not fail to deliver in this postseason either. How many other lineman got 2 sacks *and* a safety at what were most likely critical moments in the game? Yeah, I don't know either, but it's probably zero. Asipi single-handedly carried the Hawks through to the Ultimus game through he sheer dominance in the trenches. Sure you might want to point to Blocksdale, or Delacour, or Taylor, or Willie, or many other names that are very familiar and high up on stat sheets. But the only reason you know those names at all is because Asipi's play allows those men to shine. If they didn't have him on their team they wouldn't be able to focus on their own jobs, and the Hawks would have been an 0-14 team and not even made the playoffs.


Sit-down with a star:Interview a player from a team that is not your own that is in the playoffs. You must ask them four questions and at least three must relate to the league in some way. YOU MUST POST THE QUESTIONS AND THEIR ANSWERS FOR CREDIT. (Can be completed at any point)

Arbin Asipi - @DeathOnReddit

1) What is it like to have to carry your team to the Ultimus, only to see them lose because they can't live up to your greatness?

My entire career I've been carrying my team. First it was the Outlaws, and once I realized they were never going to be able to do anything I decided to take my talents to the bird land. I'm really disappointed with the team, especially that loser Bricksdale. if he could actually throw the ball accurately maybe we would've beat those trumpet fucks.

2) Widely considered to be the greatest person to ever play the game of simulation football, what do you think it will take before a GM finally is able to surround you with the proper talent to not hold you back?

I dont think its possible to be honest. There are only three players in the league that I even consider to be close to me, and they are me, myself, and I. Because I have no equal. To even try and compare someone to me would be a disgusting act that should, quite frankly, be punished by suffocation.

3) Do you think they will create a "Super Hall of Fame" just for you?

They should. I've proven that I transcend petty fools such as King Bronko and Dan Miller. To share a hall with them would be a disgrace to my name, and I quite frankly would have to deny their request to put me in the Hall.

4) Thoughts on the rumors that they are changing the MVP Award to the "Arbin Asipi Award for Players Who Are Closest to Being Like Me But Not Quite As Good"?

I would be honored. I'm glad the league is starting to realize after so long that there can't be a Most Valuable Player when I am playing. I fully give my support to the cause.

(S9) - Ultimus Week - maxcrazy - 08-18-2018

PBE PT

DisneyLand:

Borkus Maximus had an awesome time at Disney Land. Most people would think he would straight to the Magic Kingdom, the crown jewel of Disney Land. But he had other ideas, as he zipped right past the land of fantasy and Day of Tomorrow. Instead he went straight to Animal Kingdom. He loved seeing the wild animals and going on the SUV and seeing all the animals of Africa. He felt at home with the animals, and he knew he belonged there. He spent his entire trip at Animal Kingdom, even opting to go to the restaurants there. While at the restaurants he enjoyed all the different foods from around the world and had himself a feast. After Animal Kingdom he went over to Frontier Land, where he enjoyed some time in the make believe Wild West. He enjoyed the roller coasters and all the different rides of the park and then he finally made his way to Magic Kingdom and went to the top of the castle and played basketball in the secret court they have in the top of the castle. Overall, he had an amazing time at the world of fantasy and he was quoted as saying he would be sure to go back.




(S9) - Ultimus Week - Vikain - 08-18-2018

Playoff Matchups

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Playoff Recap Infographic

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Playoff Series MVP

Winning an MVP isn’t easy especially winning a Ultimus MVP. But B. Maximus III has done it this season with the New Orleans Second Line. After the first couple years of their existence the Second Line has really struggled to get a number 1 QB and have successful years under their belt. The last three they have really grown and this year they have finally turned made their dreams a reality by winning the whole thing. And B. Maximus III deserves huge chunk of the credit. In the Final Game of the season he would go 27/38 and throwing 372 yards with 2 touchdowns. He really controlled the game and the offense. Making great decisions and making the smart plays on the line. Having a 119.6 QB rating is something he should boast about as not many quarterbacks in this league have hit that high in the most crucial games of their careers. With this accomplishment I want to see how Maximus and the rest of the Second Line grow and try and become the dynasty they have envisioned. Maximus can even be credited to being the main reason they did so good in the regular season as well. As he had the second most TD’s and the least amount of Ints thrown.

Robbed

This is the first season I can think of where there wasn't a definitive team that got robbed of a playoff spot. In each division there were two power house teams that ended up playing each other in the Ultimus Championship, that being the Baltimore Hawks and the New Orleans Second Line. These two teams really dominated most of the league for pretty much the whole season. So the second spot was the spot everyone else was battling for. In the NSFC the Liberty struggled with a lot of their young players, they hope to grow and develop. And really it was a fight between Colorado Yeti and the Yellow Knife Wraiths. While the Wraiths ended up not making the playoffs, they weren't really projected to get into the playoffs anyway. The Yeti as of right now have a much better team with a better foundation of youth. Yellow Knife was really the only team that could be considered to have been robbed by the Colorado but truthfully they really weren’t. They would have needed to win 2 more games since Colorado had tie breaker. In the ASFC the two teams that did not make it were not going to be a threat to the two that made it. As both the teams combined for a total of 5 wins and 23 losses.


(S9) - Ultimus Week - Daybe - 08-18-2018

New Talent: Write about which S9 trade will or did have the biggest impact in the playoffs. Can be written at any time depending on if you choose to write about who already has or who will do good.

Well, the only S9 trade was big boy Bubba Nuck, so I'll talk about him. The S1 MVP had a huge impact. Massive, actually. Bubba didn't provide a huge impact on the field, but his impact in the Hawks locker room was unmistakable. When Bubba walked in to the locker room, @iamslm22 knew he was the real deal. @manicmav36's feet were trembling in his cleats just looking at the great presence. It was aweing for all the Hawks, who felt it necessary to praise the great Bubba, for he would lead them to the promised land. However, this strategy eventually fell apart. Nuck was a great part of the Hawks' regular season, recording a whopping 6 rushing touchdowns, and taking not a great, but a solid chunk of Owen Taylor's workload. However, the struggles in Baltimore, heightened by the loss to NOLA in W14 led iamslm22 to start taking some rash actions. In order to keep locker room morale happy, he told the great Bubba that he would be starting for the playoffs to keep him motivated and ready to go. They won the NSFC championship against the Yeti, barely squeezing by with a limited workload on Bubba's back. However, Bubba did not start as promised. He got angry at this, and the great Bubba decided to risk it all. He cursed the Hawks! He bellowed, "The Hawks will never win an Ultimus! I will be at the game in body (because I need to collect my paycheck) but not in spirit! The Hawks shall fall to the Second Line once again!"

(S9) - Ultimus Week - run_CMC - 08-19-2018

Robbed: (216 words)

When you talk about teams who had their playoff chances robbed, their playoff hopes shattered, their playoff dreams rudely awaken from... I don't know where I'm going with repetition, but basically what I'm saying is that there are normally teams who it's obvious you'd talk about. This time around in Season 9, I'd expect most people to say it was the Yellowknife Wraiths. A week 2, overtime loss to the Arizona Outlaws while playing in Yellowknife certainly seemed like an early spat of bad luck or abnormality, and then a week 7 trip to Philadelphia in which a 21 point loss ensued seems pretty unfortunate. Especially when, in the same season, Yellowknife beat Arizona 45-10 and the Liberty 52-23. Furthermore, Yellowknife had far more points for and much less points against than the Yeti did.
But if you say Yellowknife was the team that was robbed... I get it... but firmly disagree
The Arizona Outlaws were robbed of a playoff shit this season. "But run_CMC" you say, "the Outlaws went 3-11". Yes. Yes we did. But no team in the league matched us in the most important category. The intangibles. No team matched us in heart and passion! I've seen Bucky Barnes' heart in an xray. Absolutely massive. The man must have a condition or something.

Playoff Series MVP: (210 words)

Ground. And. Pound.
Owen Taylor, hall of fame trajectory runningback for the Baltimore Hawks, did it in the NSFC Championship Game against the Colorado Yeti. His final stat line for the game was 35 attempts for 149 yards (4.3 yards per carry) and a touchdown, as well as two receptions for nine yards. Obviously this is a big game on the ground by a player with incredible endurance, but it's even better when you look at it in the context of the Hawks offense as a whole. Did Taylor's quarterback throw four touchdowns and zero interceptions? Yep, power to him! And Taylor only got one touchdown for all his work on the ground... but his 149 yards was just 45 yards short of Blocksdale's 194 passing yards, and Taylor's 35 rushes were more than Blocksdale's 32 attempts! (Granted, this doesn't include Blocksdale's four times sacked... so really 36 dropbacks... but still!)
Basically what I'm saying is that Owen Taylor was the MVP of this particular playoff game. In hindsight perhaps the gameplan expended too much of his energy because he only managed 18 carries in the following Ultimus bowl, but who cares. Against the Yeti, Taylor dominated, and it was necessary for them to move on. MVP him up bois

Playoff Review: (224 words)

The first game of these Season 9 National Simulation Football League playoffs was between the Colorado Yeti, who were making a playoff trip for the first time since Season 1, and the Baltimore Hawks, who have been to the Ultimus in the past, but have been unable to leave with hardware. The Hawks went in confident - rightfully so - but Applehort had quite a game, distributing the ball well across his variety of receivers. In the end, though, 4:0 TD:INT for Blocksdale and 149 yards on the ground for Owen Taylor got Baltimore a narrow victory.
Now we move on to Orange County in New Orleans. Unlike the previously mentioned game, this matchup saw one receiver for each team get extreme emphasis by the gameplan: Carlito Crush got 7 receptions for the Otters against the next highest receiver's 3, and legendary tight end Paul DiMirio snagged 8.(only for 62 yards versus Crush's 106 however). In the end, a dominant performance both through the air and on the ground got the Second Line a trip to the Ultimus.
The Ultimus was a much closer game than the final score indicates. Going into the final quarter, the Hawks were up 24 to 19. But in the end, NOLA shut them out in that quarter and gained plenty of points necessary to take home the trophy.

Unsung Hero: (216 words)

Unsung hero, eh? You guys, the ones who read PTs... you know what I'm gonna write about. It's the same every year. The unsung hero of the playoffs is A KICKER!!! SPECIFICALLY, IYAH BLEWITT, MOP AND MVP CANDIDATE, NEW ORLEANS SECOND LINE PLAYER, AND ALL AROUND ABOVE AVERAGE ATHLETE! In the championship game, the highest stage of professional football (in the National Simulation Football League at least), Iyah Blewitt popped two field goals and three extra points successfully, and he also had four punts averaging 52.8 yards a punt while landing a whopping 50 PERCENT INSIDE THE 20! THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS! 50%! Hecking insane play from a hecking insanely good player. Bradley T. Madlad ain't got heck on this bucko. FURTHERMORE, in the ASFC Conference Championship game, Iyah Blewitt punted nine times for... two inside 20... 40.9 average... umm... but he kicked...! Five extra point attempts... with... only four makes... which means after hitting almost 100 kicks on the season he missed one in the first playoff game... and not even a field goal, an extra point... well that's awfully disappointing. I was so proud of him. ... I'm not really sure what to discuss now. His Ultimus Bowl play was about as stellar as it gets but his ASFC Champ was kind of shitty. Oh well.


(S9) - Ultimus Week - Leafer - 08-19-2018

Written Points

Robbed: Write about why a team that failed to make the playoffs should have over somebody else. Can be completed at any point

I just want to know how the fuck did the Yeti make the playoffs. It just surprises me that they are actually a good team. Hawks making it is no surprise at all because they are good but the yeti making it is so weird. But who was robbed. The Yellowknife Wraith. YES THE CHAMPIONS MISSED THE PLAYOFFS BECAUSE OF THE YETI. The Wraith were for sure robbed as they were the better team with more points which means that have better offense and they have a better defensive side for their team. It is either they are unlucky or very unlucky. They have destroyed some teams like the Outlaws and Liberty by scoring around 50 points or so and that is led by their overrated QB. But they are still the team that won the Ultimus and eliminated the Hawks last season. They were robbed of the playoffs and God knows what they did wrong. Probably the place they were playing in which is a pretty rough environment especially football in the god damn north. It is pretty disappointing season for the reigning champions and obviously a season they will never forget even though they did win the ultimus.

Playoff Series MVP: Choose an MVP for one of the playoff series and write about why you chose them. Must be completed after the playoff series you write about

Nothing more like a game between the second lines and the otters which is basically the new people against the old people. But the new people won because this is a new era. Now who is MVP? Maximus of course just because he is a QB. No. Maximus played very very well and probably the best game of his career. Now it is not easy for a qb to have a good game against the otters defense because the otters defense is still elite. Not for maximus. Maximus passed for 344 yards and 4 touchdowns without any interceptions on 43 passing attempts. Now that is how a playoff qb looks like. Roenick would have done better if he was still a QB. Silly yetis. But back to the topic. Maximus played unbelievable and deserved a round of applause from the crowd for dismantling the otters defense and showing how true powers. He sent NOLA to the championship game which is the biggest game of his career and the biggest game in franchise history and better than the legion. Borky Morky was the MVP of this series not because he was a qb but his elite playoff performance which sent his team to the ultimus game.

PBE

Hate the player or the game: Tell us which team made the playoffs and shouldn't have, or which team didn't and should have? (Can be completed at any point)

Who should not have made the playoffs? That is pretty simple because the colorado yeti should not have made the playoffs and everyone will not disagree with that. God knows how they made the playoffs because it is a complete joke and a heartbreak for the wraith. Their defense just doesn't have the talent to keep up with the big elites in the league. The Wraiths defense does have the big elites to keep up with the Hawks, the Second Line, and the Otters. The Yeti actually allowed more points than they scored during the regular season which is something a playoff team does not do unless you are lucky like the yeti then yeah, say thank you to God for accepting your prayers. The wraith have a far better offense and defense and special teams than the yeti and the yeti have nothing. They played like a kid trying to learn how to ride a no training wheel bicycle against the Hawks and they kept trying and trying but they just fell off. All I am going to say is that the yeti should not have made the playoffs and gets to receive all the hate they want from wraith fans.

(S9) - Ultimus Week - 37thchamber - 08-19-2018

Playoff Series MVP: Choose an MVP for one of the playoff series and write about why you chose them. Must be completed after the playoff series you write about

The NSFC Championship game was projected to be a convincing win for the Baltimore Hawks over the Colorado Yeti, following the aggregated 72-19 regular season score between the two teams. Keen observers, however, may have identified a possible problem for the Hawks. The Yeti defense had been improving all season, and while the Hawks had arguably the best running back in the league lining up in the backfield, things could have been tricky. As it turned out, the game was something of a shootout, with Ryan Applehort going almost toe-to-toe with the consensus top quarterback in the NSFL right now. Ultimately, it was probably the superior Hawks secondary that swayed things, with a combined eight passes defended (plus another five from linebackers Goodson and Roenick) compared to just three pass deflections from the Yeti. Of course, this doesn't take into consideration the superior accuracy of Blocksdale, or how the running game affected things, but what is certain is that the Baltimore secondary was important. In particular, Darnell Turner. Turner's interception late in the fourth quarter, as the Yeti chased a comeback effectively ended the game, putting the Hawks in a scoring position with just two minutes remaining. This, combined with his strong play throughout the game (7 tackles and 2 PDs) makes him my pick for series MVP.

Going to Disneyland!:Who was the Ultimus MVP? Give us a rundown of their celebratory trip to Disneyland. (Can be completed after the Ultimus game)

Borkus Maximus III. NSFL's oldest player (no seriously, look it up). New Orleans quarterback. Ultimus Bowl MVP. The goodest of boys. After besting Avon Blocksdale in the duel of quarterbacks that was Ultimus Bowl IX, the dootiest of the doot doots was awarded the coveted Ultimus Bowl Most Valuable Player award. And with it, a trip to Disneyland. Score.

Disneyland, being a place of fun and full of excitable children, this was perhaps not the wisest move by the league. The superstar quarterback of the recently reigned champions, being particularly recognisable on account of his uh... unique... appearance, was mobbed by fans as he queued for his favourite attraction. In the ensuing chaos, what appeared to be a large beaver came to his aid, rapidly building a wall of twigs, branches, and dank memes between Borkus and his rabid fans.

As the day progressed, this large beaver -- wearing a Second Line jersey, for some reason -- repeatedly, and in incredible speed, deconstructed and reconstructed this wall, this curtain, around Borkus as he moved through the park, keeping him safe from harm. For brief moments, it looked as though the beaver would chase a bird last seen heading north-east, abandoning Maximus, but when all was said and done, he chose to return to New Orleans with Borkus.

Unsung Hero:Who was the unsung hero of the playoffs, convince us. (Can be completed after the Ultimus game)

The unsung hero of the playoffs, if you were paying attention, was none other than Iyah Blewitt. Yes yes I hear you calling me crazy, but let me explain.

First of all, Blewitt was perfect on extra point attempts and field goals, nailing all three points after touchdowns, as well as an impressive forty two yard kick just before the end of the first half, to put the Second Line five points up. His other field goal, a twenty five yarder late in the fourth, was an expected success, but still... it's not like we haven't seen those missed.

Secondly, lets look at punts. The Baltimore Hawks have a pretty fearsome special teams unit, right? They have three very capable returners -- Delacour, Willie, and LeClair -- but for some reason, they didn't return a single punt in the Ultimus Bowl... whaaaat?!

Blewitt punted four times in the Second Line's win over the Hawks. Two of them went for touchbacks, not ideal, but when you average over fifty yards per punt, you probably aren't too upset about allowing the other team to start at their own 25 yard line -- they're out of your half, at the very least. The other two punts were inside the twenty, and the Hawks could not return them, giving the Second Line a massive advantage in terms of field position. The first of these was at the end of the first quarter, when the Hawks were forced to start a drive on their own 14 yard line. More importantly, though, was the second one. Early in the third quarter, blewitt hit a magnificent 64 yard punt, pinning the Hawks on their own 1 yard line, where the Second Line were able to force a three and out, stalling any immediate comeback momentum.

In the grand scheme of things, many would overlook the special teams performances of both teams as a whole, but there is no doubt in my mind that Blewitt came through in a big way to help the Second Line capture their first Ultimus.

Hate the player or the game: Tell us which team made the playoffs and shouldn't have, or which team didn't and should have? (Can be completed at any point)

Look, this is an easy one. The Yeti shouldn't have made the playoffs. Simple. This isn't a "let's shit on the Yeti" argument either. It;sjust a freak occurrence that really shouldn't have happened. The Yeti had a better record than the Wraiths, true, but that doesn't make them the better team, or the team most deserving of a playoff berth.

Let me break it down.

The playoffs should be about excitement, right? The best teams, in well-matched games and so on? Well, the Wraiths beat both ASFC playoff teams and were within one score of beating the eventual NSFC Champion Hawks, in Baltimore... their combined record against those teams? 2 wins, 4 losses, and a point differential of minus twenty. Their record on the road against those teams (considering they would be playing any of their playoff games on the road, given their overall record) ..? 1 win and 2 losses, for a differential of just negative three points. the Yeti's combined record against those same three teams? 1 win and 5 losses, for a point differential of negative one hundred and five points. Their lone win over the playoff teams, funnily enough, was their week fourteen shocker over Orange County, which ultimately earned them a playoff berth (in conjunction with their win over the Wraiths the previous week). But at this point, the Otters had nothing to play for. They were guaranteed a playoff spot, and couldn't clinch home field in either the ASFC Championship or the Ultimus Bowl, regardless of their result.

This isn't to say that the Yeti disappointed in the playoffs in the end -- their 74 point thriller with the Hawks in The Aviary was one of the most exciting playoff games this league has seen, but the numbers tell us that was a freak occurrence, and perhaps more to do with the Hawks unfortunate tendency to choke.

Next season, it will be a lot harder to make this argument, I suspect, as the Yeti are on an upward trajectory, while the Wraiths decline further, but the notion that a team could barely squeak into the playoffs over the reigning champions, with a negative point differential, after a win over a team with nothing to play for in the final week? Seems off. Of course, the counter point to ll of this is that, over two games, the Yeti were better than the Wraiths in their encounters... but if head to head was all that mattered, the Hawks are better than the Second Line, and the Otters are better than the Hawks... so why isn't Mike Boss picking up another Ultimus Bowl MVP?