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(S3) - Weekend PT #3 - NFL Aspirations - Saliva^ - 09-24-2017

Pretty much every NFL fan knows that Idaho has only a college team and even before Clee Hardrool decided to join the NSFL league, he was searching for a NFL team. He had four ways, four teams where he could've started his big football career:

*Seattle Seahawks
*Denver Broncos
*Oakland Riders
*San Francisko 49ers

At the end he decided to try his luck in Seattle as his agent convinced him to do it (he had a lot of his players who were playing in that city). Also, Seattle was interested to see a guy who would back up Kam Chancellor. Clee was performing fairly well in the tryouts, but he also showed his main flaw - he was clumsy as hell. In other words, he had no agility in his body and the Seahawks' offense players were capitilazing on that. They didn't have a cakewalk against him though and although they still managed to exploit Hardrool's weakness, their coach still was positive about his future. But Seattle needed a ready player, not a future so Clee was sent to the home anyway. Despite of the failed attempt, it also helped Clee to get rid of his main flaw and now he's doing a good job on screwing up the opponent offense plans in the NSFL league.


(S3) - Weekend PT #3 - NFL Aspirations - JuOSu - 09-24-2017

Julian O`Sullivan had an NFL tryout with the New York Giants. Even though it has been the offense that has struggled mightily for the Giants so far this season, the Giants are also worried for their offense. THe young O`Sullivan would be a fantastic fit for the Giants, as they need a young player to anchor their linebacking core, something O`Sullivan already seems to do after only a few weeks in the NSFL with the Orange County Otters.

O`Sullivan has impressed as a rookie here so far and the NFL is always looking for hidden talent. In a few seasons O`Sullivan will already be established and maybe harder to get, but as of now, it would be easier to imagine a jump to the NFL.

During the tryout, O`Sullivan was doing the usual combine drills, long jump, high jump, 40 yard dash, Cone Drill and several others. He was also questioned on knowledge of the game itself, different situations and was invited to watch game film with the team and was questioned on certain plays and his read of them.

It is unclear if he was offered a contract but the Giants seemed very impressed with O`Sullivan. We will hear in the next weeks if O`Sullivan signed a contract or not.


(S3) - Weekend PT #3 - NFL Aspirations - bovovovo - 09-24-2017

Bork Bjornsson has received numerous try out offers from different NFL teams, but the one he was most excited about was with the Minnesota Vikings, due to his Scandinavian roots. Honestly, there wasn’t any other place that was a more perfect fit. Bjornsson would fit well within the Viking’s defensive scheme, Minnesota was in the cold (just how Bjornsson liked it), and there was the obvious Scandinavian connection with the team’s mascot, the Vikings. Bjornsson also was a sucker for the purple color scheme.

Bjornsson’s workout went well. Very well, in fact. The Vikings were all ready to offer him a contract when he all he had to do was pass the NFL mandated player’s physical that every player must complete before they sign their contract. This is where the trouble comes in. You see, the NSFL allows players to use the mysterious drug “TPE,” while the NFL has a strict prohibition on any kind of performance enhancing drug. Because of Bjornsson’s time in the NSFL, he had copious amounts of TPE in his system, especially after his archetype change. The Vikings informed him he would be unable to join their team because of his use of the performance enhancing drug.

But Bork didn’t mind. He likes the NSFL more anyways.

(211 words)



(S3) - Weekend PT #3 - NFL Aspirations - Bzerkap - 09-24-2017

Mat Akselsen received a call last night, his agent told him to pack his bags, he's going to New Orleans!

"I have a game Monday, another Wednesday, and we play a doubleheader on Friday! What do you want me to do? I can't fly down there Saturday night, workout Sunday and come back to Yellowknife Sunday night ready to play the next day! You're fucking crazy!" Akselsen exclaimed

"Yea? Well, your dream is the NFL, I get 3% of your contract on signing, and their line is in shambles! You're a shoe-in to make the squad and I already bought your tickets. They're non-refundable, get to the airport."

"You couldn't find anything better than West Jet? Economy seating?!"

"Get on the fucking plane, primadonna!"

Akselsen flew to New Orleans and arrived at the Saints facility. Upon getting there he was greeted by head coach Sean Payton, declaring his happiness for him coming and the need at the position.

"Hey Mat, nice to see ya. Looking good, looking good. Alright just head out onto the field with the OL coach and get some drills in. I'll review the tape later, I uhhhh.... I gotta go get my medication. See ya!"

Well, after that awkward encounter Akselsen went out and performed his drills. They weren't really that hard considering the Saints have no DL talent, but Cam Jordan gave him a good run for his money. Anyway with things wrapping up, and no sight of the head coach, Mat just went to the airport and hopped on back to Yellowknife.

He kept playing and practicing with his Wraiths teammates for the next couple of days, waiting for a call. Nothing came. Mat considered it rude to at least not phone him about not getting the job, but he just chalked it up to the fast pace of the NFL.

A few days after that his phone started buzzing with a New Orleans area code on it. Excitedly he answered the phone, but it was just a boring voice on the other end going on and on about his vicodin scripts. Whatever. Mat hung up, and went about his day.

@timeconsumer


(S3) - Weekend PT #3 - NFL Aspirations - Silver Fox - 09-24-2017

*Fox goes deep, just managing to juke past the Honey Badger and make a nice catch*. “Ok Fox, bring it in. Good work out there. We’ll tell you straight, Fox, we need someone reliable to throw passes to. Larry isn’t getting any younger, and you have experience with, well, what some would say bad quarterbacks. Palmer’s best days might be behind him, but he can still do better than any of those NSFL QBs you’ve got slinging the rock. Who are we supposed to throw to? J.J. Nelson? Jaron Brown? We all know John Brown can’t stay healthy, and he’s the only above replacement-level talent we have once Larry retires. Keep it on the down low, but Carson and Larry are going to retire after this season. What can we do? Folks get old. David Johnson may be able to do it all, but one man can’t win a season. What do you say?”

Man, it was the hardest day of my life to say tell Bruce Arians I wanted to finish playing out my contract for the Liberty. This season, then season four, and a standing offer to join the Cardinals in 2019. It’s nice to know your work is appreciated somewhere, and it’s going to be an interesting future.



(S3) - Weekend PT #3 - NFL Aspirations - BOOM™ - 09-24-2017

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(S3) - Weekend PT #3 - NFL Aspirations - manicmav36 - 09-24-2017

Season 2 was both a massively exciting and a very disappointing season for Owen Taylor. On one hand, the team did very well, making it to the Ultimus Bowl after only winning 4 games the previous year. On the other hand, Taylor did not have a great season statistically, finishing with only 23 tackles, 7 tackles for loss, and 5 sacks. He did, however, have a great fantastic Ultimus Bowl game, finishing with 6 tackles and 3 tackles for loss, and this caught the attention of the Jacksonville Jaguars.

Despite the fact that the Jaguars already have a good young duo at defensive end in Yannick Ngakoue and Dante Fowler Jr, and just paid a ton of money to bring in veteran Calais Campbell, they’re always looking to add more talent on the line.

The tryout started simple enough with basic combine type drills like the 40 yards dash, shuttle run, vertical, and bench press. Taylor impressed in the 40, shuttle, and vertical, but, was lacking in the bench. His lack of upper body strength became more and more apparent as the day went on. Taylor shined in the one-on-one drills but when it came time to move to full squad drill, he struggled mightily when double teamed. When Tom Coughlin approached, he already knew what he was going to hear. Coughlin said that he, “really liked” what he saw, but they just had too much talent at that position on the roster already. He shook Taylor’s hand and wished him good luck with his NSFL career. Taylor was disappointed but, he understood. Just more motivation for next year.



(S3) - Weekend PT #3 - NFL Aspirations - jparks98 - 09-24-2017

“Saint, I just got off the phone with the Cleveland Browns, yeah that’s the Cleveland Brown”

“Isn’t that place basically a graveyard?”

“Yes, but it’s a graveyard for the fucking NFL!”

“What did they want?”

“They want you! They want you to come to Cleveland and workout with them. If you are good then you will get signed.”

“I don’t know, I kind of like it here in Colorado”

“Yeah Colorado’s nice but it’s the NF FUCKING L!”

“Fine, fine I’ll go but I won’t leave until Tuesday I got a game on Monday.”

“Great, I call them and let them know you’re coming. Be you, but more importantly, be great.”

Tuesday morning, he gets on a plan to go to Cleveland. The rest of the week, Johnathon Saint would go to the Browns facility and run some drills for the coaches. The coaches were extremely impressed with but it was just in shorts. So they put him in pads and ran some drills. They took him to the film room and studied tape with him. They loved everything they saw about the man, the myth, the legend, Johnathon Saint.

“We’re not going to sign you.”

“Why not? You said I was excellent!”

“Yeah see that’s the problem, you were too good.”

“Too good?”

“Yeah we have a reputation that we want to keep and by signing you that would ruin it completely”

“Well, what’s this reputation that you want to keep so badly?”

“…Incompetence”



(S3) - Weekend PT #3 - NFL Aspirations - Shadowz - 09-24-2017

This year for training camps, Godfrey king was contacted by the Cleveland Browns. Seeing as year after year they've been garbage, the Browns decide to go ahead and let Godfrey try out for whatever position he pleases. First Godfrey tried his hand at quarterback. With much grace and precision, King perfectly weaved through collapsing defenders in the pocket before rifling the ball to a wide open receiver in the end zone. He could tell the coaches were impressed, but was asked to stop trying out at that position. Apparently management got a real scare that Kings prowess at the quarterback position would ruin their chances to tank and screw up another first round pick. Still wanting to try out other positions, King grabbed the ball and started doing reps as a running back. It was no surprise that King could truck through defenders with ease, but he still found a way to have all eyes on him, putting defender after defender into the metaphorical blender. Management got a little angrier at that point. Not only was King showing he would be too good for the Browns, but he also broke the ankles of at least 5 of the players most detrimental to the Browns defense. This meant that the Browns might actually have to compete against the other teams in the NFL! A pure outrage!


(S3) - Weekend PT #3 - NFL Aspirations - tlk742 - 09-24-2017

It should be no surprise to anyone that Darren Smallwood is not the sharpest knife in the crayon box. It also should be no surprise that his tenure on the Sabercats last season turned some heads. This caught the attention of the New York Jets, with Quincy Enunwa on Injured Reserved, the Jets were looking to bolster their wide receiver corps. What no one told Smallwood was that the NSFL route trees are much more free form compared to the NFL. The tryout lasted a total of three hours, here’s how it went. Hour one was Smallwood showing off his blazing speed, high agility and other great measurable statistics, that went stupendously. Hour two was a lot of one on one challenges where he goes against a cornerback, makes turns and then breaks away. Three cornerbacks were taken to the burn ward. It was quite something. Hour three, the defining moment where Smallwood would achieve NFL greatness went as follows, he was given a play book, with a slew of routes: in, outs, deeps, and button hooks, all of which were parts of packages. He couldn’t keep track of what play is what. When he and a fellow tryout had both cross routes, Smallwood took a few too few steps and in three seconds both had collided and were on their backs. It kept going like that for the remainder. Smallwood was not asked for a fourth hour.

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