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+---- Thread: *Luke Boechler - DSFL Draft Rankings (/showthread.php?tid=10576)
*Luke Boechler - DSFL Draft Rankings - YoungGreekBoy - 10-05-2018
Alright you big chuckers listen up. It has already been decided that Luke Boechler is the best player in this draft class, let alone quarterback so I don't think it should be any question that I will be a first round draft pick guaranteed. Everybody wants a slice of this hot mess and so I thought I'd give everybody a slice to hold onto until they can get all of me if you know what I mean. First I should give myself an introduction though, because most of you don't know me at all.
My name's Bronson Boechler and I'm sixteen, I'm friends with a couple of other guys on here and I'm apart of the widely reknowned Cross Cunts groupchat that has been going strong on snapchat for about a month since I transferd to Holy Cross to be alongside my partners in crime. I'm the whitest white trash you've ever seen and I spend most of my time playing football. I've played as a wide receiver for the Aden Bowman Bears and Holy Cross Crusaders in my time in high school, as well as for Team North Sask and Team Canada U-16. I also wrestle but I'm shit at it. My interests include eating, drinking, and sleeping. You want me in your locker room because I bring the stereotypical little kid presence that everyone needs to have in order to make themselves feel like they aren't the least mature.
Anyways without further ado here it is then.
1. Kansas City Coyotes
If this surprises you then you're an awful person and a terrible guesser, but with previous quarterback Andrew Reese becoming a chunky boi and suddenly putting on a hundred pounds to play defensive line, there is a huge hole that is staring at me like a quivering vagina and it's the roster spot on the Coyotes offense. This team has a number of good players that could be used around me, and with a solid WR class we'll be penetrating defenses all day long. I'm glad I found a way to work some sexual innuendoes into this article, and that only makes me like Kansas City more. Not to mention their logo is cool and their colours are nice.
2. San Antonio Marshals
If this surprises you then you're a mediocre person and probably just didn't notice I was on this team since I didn't get played at all. That's right, I was better than backup quarterback Jamal Slick literally from the moment I built my player since he didn't ever earn a single TPE, and they still had the audacity to put me behind him. The upside though? I got money and it didn't add a year to my stat line that I would have wanted to forget anyways. So koodo's to the Marshals, play nice with me I'm fragile. Harvey Kindle is a great receiving option and I'll be sure to be putting my balls in his hands constantly, as long as he's good at handling long hard drives down the field into the opposing teams "end zone". God there is so many innuendos in football.
3. Portland Pythons
If this surprises you then enjoy cause they're basically only not last so Tijuana could be. The Cross boys will reunite in burning passion if I join the Pythons as Nick McDick is currently the first option running back in Portland for the upcoming season and will mean that I don't have to try as hard to be a winning quarterback. Hell, the guy could practically carry me and my balls. Or all three. In reality though, Portland is a team that I feel like could very well be the next championship team, but with a young quarterback already in place there just isn't a place for me. Who would have thought I'd be on the receiving end of a knockout blow from a guy named Cox? Another one for the innuendo book, and that one was probably the best so far.
4. Tijuana Luchadores
If this surprises you then you're an idiot and your mom's a hoe. Nobody likes a dynasty except for the GM's, and when you're on a team for one season and then continue to root for them after you move into the pros you're just sad. Give someone else a shot and stop being good. I don't want to play for Tijuana because wherever I go people tend to win, and I think this is the team that least deserves a win at the moment. It's nothing against the people, they seem to be cool, but their long and raw history of success has required the anal penetration of every team's entire roster for the last while. Nick told me to also add that Flores sucks and to give him the top RB award.
So there you have it. If your team is low and you don't like that then pull up to my house at 514 Swan Court and I'll give you a piece of my mind and my cock. This is a league for fun, and I'm not trolling anyone I'm just having a good time. Also if you're really that upset, I literally had four things to rank so go cry about it. At least you're in the midst of stage four terminal cancer. Have a good day, see you on draft night.
*Luke Boechler - DSFL Draft Rankings - nunccoepi - 10-05-2018
(10-05-2018, 12:08 PM)YoungGreekBoy Wrote:Nobody likes a dynasty except for the GM's,Eh.. ok, fine.
(10-05-2018, 12:08 PM)YoungGreekBoy Wrote:and when you're on a team for one season and then continue to root for them after you move into the pros you're just sad.
Now, this I have to disagree with. This is part of what makes the DSFL so fun--and kind of college-like. As a NSFL-er, you're totally allowed (and encouraged) to have this allegiance with your former squad, and showing up in the locker room from time to time and in streams on Tues/Thurs nights really makes it fun for the new guys.
(10-05-2018, 12:08 PM)YoungGreekBoy Wrote:I don't want to play for Tijuana because wherever I go people tend to win, and I think this is the team that least deserves a win at the moment.Alright, I'll buy it.
(10-05-2018, 12:08 PM)YoungGreekBoy Wrote:It's nothing against the people, they seem to be cool, but their long and raw history of success has required the anal penetration of every team's entire roster for the last while.I'll also jump in here and say that this success is rather recent. Prior to S7, Tijuana hadn't even won a playoff game and for the first 4 seasons they were pretty suck. Even if we are on top right now, as for the DSFL team with the most history of success, I'd still give it to Portland. As far as I know, they are the only DSFL team to have never missed the playoffs, and have still made it to the Ultimini 3 of the last 4 teams. I'm pretty sure their total regular season record blows everyone else away too. But...all that being said, I do get your point. Except the anal penetration thing. That doesn't follow logically. And it is weird.
*Luke Boechler - DSFL Draft Rankings - Daybe - 10-05-2018
(10-05-2018, 10:37 AM)nunccoepi Wrote:as for the DSFL team with the most history of success, I'd still give it to Portland.
<3 <3 <3
*Luke Boechler - DSFL Draft Rankings - majesiu - 10-09-2018