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*Blake McCargue on the bench. - Alkaiid - 12-13-2018 DSFL pre season week one and week two have come and gone and the question on everyones mind here at the NSFLDNN is the same : “Why is Blake McCargue holding down the bench?” I'm Chet Ubetcha and I have the scoop. I reached out to Blake McCargue himself regarding the issue, as well as his “mentor” D'pez Poopsie, his GM Epictitus Milburn. , his former GM timeconsumer, and even Brock Weathers III whom McCargue recently went toe to toe with at a press conference this month. I went to San Jose to catch up with D'Pez Poopsie, Blake McCargues self titled mentor and the man that brought him into the league. The man I assumed would know the most about the controversy and be able to shed the most light on events having played in the DSFL and NSFL for several years now. “Chet Ubetcha : Excuse me, Mr. Poopsie, Mr. D'pez Poopsie? This is Chet Ubetcha of NSFLDNN that is to say National Sim Football League Drama News Network I was wondering if youd like to comment on the recent two week benching of rookie DSFL Offensive Lineman Blake McCargue D'Pez Poopsie : he's trash, everyone knows he's trash he doesn't belong on a football field CU : That's surprising to hear; we were informed you brought him into the league and that he considers you a mentor. DP : you know im talking shit Tijuana needs to get their head out of their asses and play the man who is clearly the best OL the league has seen in years. CU : Would you chance a guess at who made the call to bench McCargue? We've heard it could be Epictitus Milburn. , the TJ GM because he warned McCargue not to get into a war with BWIII, we've heard it may be timeconsumer the Marshall's GM for similar reasons, but also because he built the NSFL OL robots, or that it could be BWIII himself as he stated at the McCargue press conference he is phoning in connections after McCargues statements DP : I think it was BWIII CU : Would you care to expand on that DP : he hates Blake CU : Because of the press conference? DP : yes CU : This reporter honestly thought that was just a macho display. Are you saying theres more to it? DP : I do i think Weathers has spies in TIJ and forced his way to get Bake out for pre-season games so he don't develop CU : Mr Poopsie it has been a pleasure, but I have to go track down some more leads on this story, you have a great day DP : You too bud.” I flew out to Philly to meet with Brock Weathers III the man who Blake McCargue got into a shouting match with earlier in the pre season and who had threatened to use his connections against McCargue, the man that D'Pez Poopsie claimed was now holding his thumb over Blake McCargue. “CU : Hello, Brock Weathers III, this is Chet Ubetcha of the NSFLDNN, the National Simulation Football Drama News Network. I was wondering if I could reach out to you for a quote regarding the DSFL pre season week 1/2 benching of Blake McCargue number forty four of the Tijuana Luchadores. BWIII : Nah man, that ain't me, that ain't my style. If I were to do anything to another player it'd be all out on the field. The connections I spoke about are purely media personnel and let's face it, ya'll don't really have that kind of pull. Heck I don't even have that kind of pull in Tijuana. Now if he played for the superior franchise with a far better lineage in that of the San Antonio Marshals, maybe I'd be able to swing something like that to have him benched for a bit there, but nah I didn't have anything to do with his coach's decision to leave him out of those games. CU : We understand you recently got into a spat with McCargue at a press conference he held before the games. We've recieved reports that you made threats against McCargue after he made a slight against you at that press conference. Is it true you used the connections that you claimed to have to get McCargue benched for the pre-season? BWIII : Lastly, I have no idea what Poopsie is going on about. Spy network? I hate McCargue's guts? Man I never spoke anything close to more than 5 words to Poopsie in his time in the NSFL so I can't even begin to imagine where he's getting that stuff from. Maybe the water in San Jose is tainted and it's messing with his mind. I dunno, that's some weird shit man.” I flew out to San Antonio to meet with Blake McCargue's former GM timeconsumer; the man that built the offensive line robots that Blake McCargue plays alongside. Timeconsumer is a very busy man and wasnt able to offer much to the investigation but we at the National Simulation Football League Drama News Network were understanding and took what information he was able to give on the events. “CU : Hello is this timeconsumer, the General Manager of the San Antonio Marshalls? I'm Chet Ubetcha a reporter for the NSFLDNN, the National Simulation Football Drama News Network. I was wondering if I could bother you for a brief interview. I was wondering if you'd care to comment on the recent DSFL Week 1/2 pre season games, specifically the benching of Blake McCargue number forty four of the Tijuana Luchadores for both weeks of play. TC : McCargue was drafted by another team in the DSFL draft He's not a Marshals player CU : We're aware he currently plays for the Luchadores TC : My guess is that he's just having limited reps to have him fresh for the regular season. It's common practice in the DSFL. My last stop was in Tijuana where I met with Blake McCargue and his current GM Epictitus Milburn. at the Luchadores training facilty. Surely this stop would yield the most information and finally crack the case on why McCargue was benched his first two games with the Luchadores. CU : Hi there, is this Epictitus Milburn. the Tijuana Luchadores GM? I'm Chet Ubetcha, of the NSFLDNN that is to say the National Simulation Football League Drama News Network and I was wondering if youd be willing to give me a brief (in character) interview about the benching of rookie Offensive Lineman Blake McCargue for the first two weeks of pre season. Was this a strategic move are you saving young McCargue's strength for more important games? Or was this punishment because he disobeyed you and called out veteran season eleven top defensive lineman Brock Weathers III in his press conference before the preseason? Or was it perhaps something you were ordered to do either because of the connections weathers claimed at that same conference that he supposedly has, or by timeconsumer the Marshall's GM because hes worried McCargue is replacing the robot offensive linemen he himself built? Epictitus Milburn : "Well preseason is a different kind of monster for sure. In the regular season we are out there to win every game. But preseason is a time to get the back ups some reps and take a look at the depth that we have. Yes, its also a time for the new guys to get some play time, but we know that Blake is going to be a day 1 starter for us. There's no sense in putting him out there and subjecting him to more wear and tear when we don't need to. Was it a strategic move? In a way. Its been a long long time since this league has seen a human offensive linemen. None of the coaches or general managers were around in those days, so we are in a great position right now to hit them with some surprises. We don't want to give anything away too quickly. I'll have to talk with our Offensive Line coach though because we do need to get him out there at least a little so we know really what we are working with. As far as beef with BW3 or timeconsumer...I don't know anything about that. Players are going to have their spats and timeconsumer doesn't concern me. I'm here to keep the focus on football and winning games. So that's what we're going to do. My last stop was the Luchadores locker room. Where I caught up with Blake McCargue to finally get the last of the information. What I learned shocked me to my core, and changed my look on journalism all together CU : Heya Blake, I'm Chet Ubetcha, with NSFLDNN, the National Simulation Football Drama News Network. I just had a couple questions about the first two weeks of pre season football. Blake McCargue : Oh? Sure thing, what can I do for you? CU : Are you aware of the conspiracy surrounding your suprise benching? Do you have any idea who made the call to bench you? Are you upset? BM : I wasnt aware people took the pre season so seriously, I took the bench because I'm not one hundred percent up to speed on all of Tijuana's plays and being able to watch them in action really helped, I may jump in week 3, I may keep watching, whatever I do, that's between me and Epiticus, and not some media spectacle. CU : But I spoke with D'Pez Poopsie and he said that Brock Weathers III had some kind of spy network in place here at Tijuana to keep you from progressing. BM : D'Pez said that? CU : Yeah he said Brock Weathers III hated your guts and used his connections to keep you out of the game. BM : He was probably just pulling your leg, since you put him on camera. He was probably saying anything he could to keep up his air time, dude's a media whore, and a damn good one at that. Next time you want to run a story on me, start here, and I'll make sure you know whether or not there is one. It was a call between me, the coaches, and the GM to ensure we started pre season on the right foot, and make sure my transition onto the field runs smooth. There you have it folks, I am Chet Ubetcha with the NSFLDNN and there's nothing to see here. (1770 words, please give 10% pay from this to each Muford, nunccoepi, BWIII, and timeconsumer) *Blake McCargue on the bench. - nunccoepi - 12-13-2018 This was really good! *Blake McCargue on the bench. - BWIII - 12-13-2018 Haha good stuff. Only knowing a small portion of this I had no idea what the rest was going to look like, but I like how it worked overall. *Blake McCargue on the bench. - Alkaiid - 12-13-2018 Hey guys thanks for working with me on this. I had a ton of fun writing it. Hope we can work together again soon.