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+---- Thread: *Let's Overreact (/showthread.php?tid=11893)
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*Let's Overreact - AdamS - 02-19-2019
Holy shit we are back and a lot of blatant fuckery and nuke worthy events have occurred. Like someone stealing this article and doing a half assed job at it. This isn't your league buddy. Don't half ass it here. Now let's get some REAL sauce going. Hearts will be broken. Egos will be checked. Irishmen will get triggered. Actually we're not even gonna do that last part because he doe snot need our help with that. Just saying the sim looks janky when we watch it will do the job.
Speaking of doing the job...nobody wants to. We've got updaters leaving, simmers leaving, we've got rumors of HO members leaving, we've got two GMs openly stepping down and one shopping himself for a post GM career. We'll get to that one my lovelies. Oh yes we will. No quarter given. No prisoners. It's time to fire up the overreactions and let fly. Tonight's episode brought to you by Boulder Beer Company's Shake Chocolate Porter. It's a delicious oatmeal chocolate flavoring that goes down pretty damn smoothly. Let's start with the teams and deal with shit as it goes. We're going best record to worst tonight. No randomized order. Just blood. Let's begin.
SAN JOSE SABERCATS
Yeah it's actually going pretty well. You're 8-1. You've beaten 2 winning teams on the road. Your rush offense is legendarily good and doesn't require an OP QB running all the big runs. Your defense is killing it. You're actually tops in both points scored and fewest points allowed. The second would be more impressive if anyone in the league could score. You're like the ending scene in Stpe Brothers so don't get too excited about your current dominance. As the sim reminded us, a 2nd year player has seen as many Sabercats playoff wins as a season 1 player has. Look guys. You have to do it this year. You absolutely have to. If you don't at least GET TO the Ultimus this season you just need to pack it up and move to Connecticut like Pennington wanted to do. Yeah that almost became a thing. That Connecticut team has as many playoff wins as you do now. If you're tired of hearing about it WIN ONE. Or maybe just give up and move to Buffalo. It would fit the team's history. Hell it would even be a wide right move.
ORANGE COUNTY OTTERS
You lost 3 road games to losing teams by a minimum of 15 points. You beat a 1-8 team at home by a single point. Which was a comeback with less than 4 minutes to go. You beat that same 1-8 team on the road by 3 points via another late game comeback, this one with 5 minutes left. This isn't even me roasting you yet. These are just things that happened. This is me roasting you. Is your coach a redhead who claps too much? Because holy shit are you underperforming to your talent level. Here's another one. if you were Ghostbusters last year, you're Ghostbusters 2 this year. Showbiz has only thrown 3 touchdown passes over 35 yards. Two of them were to the other team. Your running backs barely get work on the ground despite being tied for the best averages. It's like you're trying to let some sunshine into your house but instead of opening the window you blow a hole in the wall. And then the other team returns it for a touchdown. You know who's winning the turnover battle? Whoever plays you. Luckily the league is so dysfunctional that you're the 2nd best team. I had another joke here but it was also intercepted. I guess we know what the extra T actually stands for. And you're probably still the actual favorites to win the Ultimus.
PHILADELPHIA LIBERTY
Congrats on being the 3rd best team in the league via tiebreakers. Or as it might be called by some..the 3rd best team ever fielded by the NSFC. Congrats. All it took was all of your conference rivals being a shattered mess, and the team you beat on tiebreakers losing their QB to retirement. He's not gone yet I know...but he also hasn't improved in months. But hey..you're the stable team led by the most unstable skill position player in the league. At least until the passing game makes him expendable. So like next season. I would explain addition by subtraction but there's never been any indication that anyone in Philly management can do math. You lost to the most dysfunctional team in league history twice by a combined score of 89-26. Quick number game. What are 8-19 and 10? They're the records of the teams you beat on the road and the total number of points you beat them by. And two of those were comeback victories with less than 2 minutes left. Here's some more. You're 1-2 vs teams with a winning record and you still have 3 more of those games left in your last 5. You can go from conference leader to out of the playoffs in two weeks. Hell...you can still finish last. Congrats on the throne you deserve.
ARIZONA OUTLAWS
Jesus H Pesci. Your QB threw a hissy fit and retired. Your rookie WR is suspended. You're actually winning too many games to be part of the QB sweepstakes that you actually NEED to have. Your early season success was based largely on the absolute insane fact that all 7 of your home games were schedule as your first 7 games. Your previous CoGM disappeared so hard that people had to make sure he isn't the previous CoGM who also just blatantly disappeared. It's so bad that your GMs have decided they're too old for this shit. At a combined age of 33. And no one disagrees with them. You have the 2nd best point differential in the league. There is that I guess. It's mostly because of your excellent defense because the only thing your offense has really been good for is padding Trey Willie's stats at the end of his career. Oh and your retired QB is having the most efficient seasons in the league and is an outside contender for QBotY. Which you now have to replace somehow. I know I said that already, I just wanted to remind you how dire your situation is. What kind of braindead idiot would even voluntarily apply to GM this team this offseason?
NEW ORLEANS SECOND LINE
If you were in the NSFC you'd be competing for a playoff spot. Instead you have the worst rushing game in the league, an aging Quarterback with one real target, and one of the worst defenses in the league. You still have 3 games against the top 3 offenses. Ya'll went from DOOT DOOT to POOP POOP so fast that the S7 Liberty breathed a sigh of relief. If your team was a TV show you'd be the second season of True Detective. I'm just wondering if relegation is a possibility at this point. Of all the teams currently in rough position, you're the only one who doesn't look like things could be different with a few tweaks. Watching you play makes the citizens of Nola reconsider their stance on hurricanes. The only thing unique about this team is having the first rookie RB in the league that sucked since like S9. Your near Hall of Fame WR has caught as many touchdowns as the loudmouth RB on Philly who said catching passes doesn't matter. The only thing lower than your fortunes is your city foundations. Maybe a relocation will help. It worked last time.
YELLOWKNIFE WRAITHS
Dick Wizardry rushes for 2 yards. That's your season in a nutshell. Normally we in the NSFL make fun of the town of Yellowknife having a team but now it's obvious that no other respecting city would actually want this dumpster fire. Your QB has thrown the fewest TDs in the league on the 4th most attempts. Yellowknife is a mining town primarily so it's weird that they'd keep this team going since nothing valuable is coming out of it. On the brightside, you're at least now in position to possibly snag a game changing QB after spending half a season winning too much to get one of them while also losing enough to not be in playoff position. Your Kicker has missed 3 extra points and the entire rest of the league has missed 6. Maybe its a good thing this team can't find the end zone or that stat would be worse. Maybe this is one of those situations where we take the protective covers off the light sockets and just let nature take it's course. The next team on the list has only won one game. Versus you. By scoring 25% of the points they scored for the entire season in one game. This team would be eligible for relegation so that the Marshalls can come up. And yet QB Ryan Applehort can still somehow look at his situation as he grows old as fuck and think "holy shit I dodged some bullets".
BALTIMORE HAWKS
And here we have the Ghostbusters remake. Compared to what their insanely terrible record would normally indicate the Hawks are more mediocre than anything. Just like the remake. I know that sounds weird because they're 1-8 but damn. This team has lost 6 of its 8 games by one score. That's after a QB retired, another one quit, a d-lineman was pressed into 3 season temp duty, where he's currently throwing more interceptions than touchdowns, and their leader announced that he's abandoning the team. Their lead running back literally doesn't exist anymore because he was either the head of a ring of multis or one of the heads of a ring of multis. None of which were very successful even. That's like robbing a bank for the quarters and getting caught because one of the bags ripped open and they followed you to your hideout. Except less well organized. They were essentially gangpressed into trading their Hall of Fame Tight End and Safety. This the most well organized disaster I've seen. This team which has had so much go horribly wrong is so good at being just bad enough that they're probably going to get rules made. So....victory I guess? And of course, it bears remembering that they're not even out of the playoff race technically. That's coming form a team that I personally watched rebel on the field every time it started to have success in a previous game. Multiple turnover sin the red zone and giving the ball away every time they got the lead. I've never seen the actual player son the field tank before. Maybe this should have been the year to break out the alternate logo. Good luck to whatever foolish patsy gets the GM job next. You get to have all your successes credited to the guy before you for at least 6 seasons, and that's assuming he's not just shadow GM'ing for you anyway, which he probably will be. CAW!!CAW!!
COLORADO YETI
You may have noted that I said at the start that I was going in order. I still am. The only thing Colorado has accomplished this year is to improve MemeMaestro's legacy. The team sold out it's future to grab high level regression players from other teams so that they could go all in with a kicker turned QB and be....4-5. All that for the low low cost of the 1sts and 2nds for each of the next two seasons. In fact, they don't even have a 3rd next season. They sold out the entire team. This one isn't even an overreaction. Colorado has actually exceeded my ability to be ridiculous. Surely it couldn't be worse than that though right? Well, that's what you get for using logic and/or optimism where the Yeti are concerned. The denied trade with Baltimore contained a clause that said the Yeti would get their $20 million back if their CURRENT GM was on the Hawks roster next season. Thus making public what every team knew behind the scenes. The Captain is abandoning ship hard and fast. He literally tried to blackmail the GM that follows him to trade him to a specific conference rival. This is without a doubt the worst performance by a GM in the history of this league. The staggering achievement of somehow making the Yeti worse under a pretense of trying to win this season, currently having the 5th or 6th best record, and paving your own way to a high profile franchise after you bounce is so incredibly audacious that words literally can't do it justice. The bot teams in DSFL have a better long term future right now than the Yeti do. And some poor sucker is out there right now deluding themselves into thinking they can fix this. If the next GM is smart they relocate and rebrand on day 1. I wonder if Matt Millen is available. Or an arsonist. It'll be an improvement either way.
Well....there we have it. Everything's fucked up and chaos reigns through the league. This is the seasons that gets skipped over in the "history of the league" summaries. This Community season 4. Minus the cool puppet episode. Maybe we should let Jiggly bring back the Chicago team. They might actually have a shot this season. In fact let's just never talk about this season again.
*Let's Overreact - manicmav36 - 02-19-2019
I'm deeply offended that you insulted Ghostbusters 2.
Too far buddy, too far.
*Let's Overreact - infinitempg - 02-19-2019
oof ouch owwie
also 4 of our last 5 are at home
*Let's Overreact - timeconsumer - 02-19-2019
(02-19-2019, 06:10 AM)AdamS Wrote:If your team was a TV show you'd be the second season of True Detective.
Dude that's savage
*Let's Overreact - manicmav36 - 02-19-2019
(02-19-2019, 11:58 AM)infinitempg Wrote:oof ouch owwie
also 4 of our last 5 are at home
With how big HFA is here, I'm always shocked when people overlook that. Then again, the title isn't "Let's Be Reasonable."
*Let's Overreact - caltroit_red_flames - 02-19-2019
(02-19-2019, 10:10 AM)AdamS Wrote:Look guys. You have to do it this year. You absolutely have to.
I know this is a joke like the hater's guide I did, but it's actually kind of funny that you say that because we honestly don't have to do it this season. Thad and I are the oldest guys on this team and we both still have another season after this one before regression. The Sabercats are going to be around a while.
Still, if we didn't win it this eason I'd be very surprised
*Let's Overreact - SwagSloth - 02-19-2019
This feels like the year that everyone wants to lose. So, in a way, Baltimore is really #1.
*Let's Overreact - AdamS - 02-19-2019
(02-19-2019, 10:32 AM)caltroit_red_flames Wrote:I know this is a joke like the hater's guide I did, but it's actually kind of funny that you say that because we honestly don't have to do it this season. Thad and I are the oldest guys on this team and we both still have another season after this one before regression. The Sabercats are going to be around a while.
Still, if we didn't win it this eason I'd be very surprised
No it's more like the other 3-4 overreaction articles i did before that.
*Let's Overreact - Jiggly_333 - 02-20-2019
What is the puppet episode of this season?
![[Image: nyotVke.gif]](http://i.imgur.com/nyotVke.gif)
*Let's Overreact - YoungTB - 02-21-2019
(02-20-2019, 09:23 PM)Jiggly_333 Wrote:What is the puppet episode of this season?“Hi there! My name is McKee! I go to school with Noble!”