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*Bjørn Throwing a Teammate Under the Bus? - IsaStarcrossed - 08-12-2019 Ironside Streaming has now gone live! Titled "The State of the Game; Getting it off my chest". The camera flickers on with Bjørn sitting on his couch, leaning forward with his hands folded together. There is a solemn look on his face and he takes a deep breath. "Alright ladies and gentlemen. I think today we have to tackle a more serious, a more intense topic. We have to discuss the state of the game and exactly what is going on with my team. After these last two weeks, I just don't know how to handle it. Before we get to the root of things, first we need to talk about the games." "I have to give some credit where credit is do. My big boys? My brothers up front? You boys have been absolutely balling out! We racked up seven sacks over four games! 31 total tackles for a loss! That's how you put those boys in their place. You guys are hitting out there. Not to mention two MVPs for my defensive tackles and a safety to boot? Oh we have some action going on here. Some of these games have been a real pleasure to watch. You keep getting in the backfield and show them who really rules this league. Even the Mongoose got a sack! It took you four games, but you got there! i knew you had it in you. Lets build on that. You have to get back there more. Impose your dominance. You are all beautiful. Ammons, Virtanen, and De La Agua, you guys aren't defensive tackles but boy I'm I inviting you to my big boy house tonight! You guys can come in and sit at my table and share my tacos any day of the week. Big game after big game, you guys don't shy away from contact one little bit. You guys rack up tackles like I rack up bulk sour cream at Sams Club. You are a joy to watch and you should keep doing what it is you do." Bjørn picks up a notebook from his desk, flipping through it to sift through his notes. "Only one offense managed to get past 20 points in eight attempts. These defenses are really showing off. 11 interceptions in four games. Just four games. These quarterbacks are playing scared and I absolutely love it. You guys in the back? You keep catching the ball and us guys up front will make sure they keep throwing to you. Now moving on. Did you see that Wolfpack vs Cobra game? That was one of the most masterful games I've ever seen. These two teams know how to play it close. I thought we were going to get overtime! Defense was on full display. These offenses managed only three of their 23 third down attempts. There were six turnovers in this game! To prove that this game came down to which defense wanted it more, you have to look no further than the final play of the game when it took a clutch play by Net Gaines to pull out the victory. That play took nothing less than absolute sheer will as he went into the air between three Wolfpack receivers and came down with the ball. That is the definition of a picture perfect game winner." With that Bjørn drops the notebook and looks back up at the camera. "I suppose I have no choice. We finally have to talk about it. I wanted to avoid this, but it can't be avoided any longer. We are on a three game losing streak despite heroic efforts from our defense. In this three week slip, our opponents are 11 of 44 on on third down. We have seven forced turnovers. I even won a Defensive MVP in the best game I've played in my young career. Our defense played so well, the Mongoose PUNTER won offensive player of the game. And you know what? NONE OF IT MATTERS!" Bjørn pushed the table away and stands up. "You know why none of it matters? Let me tell you. Gimmy FUCKING Jaroppolo. This man comes in like every other damned peacock quarterback. He acts like he's some sort of savior here to carry us to the promise land. And you know what? He ain't SHIT! Gimmy is completely outdated. He's the old world. All that fanfare, all that celebration, all that excitement and all I see is an overrated rooster who can't move the ball." Bjørn takes a seat back on his couch and points at the camera. "I'll tell you what, I don't know how much more I can take. In the last three games, he is 45 of 82. He can barely manage to complete half his throws. To hear his fans say it, it because they're dropped passes. Well, you know what? If you were so damn good, GIMMY, you'd stick it in their damn face mask. Even then though, I can't take that as an excuse. You want to know why? Because the defense sure as hell aren't dropping the ball, Gimmy. Four interceptions and not a single touchdown on the season! That's right, Gimmy has a big fat zero in scoring this season. Sometimes, I don't even know what the dude is doing out there. He's like some twisted up reanimated robot. He'll sometimes drop back to pass and then its like he gets a tick. he stops in his tracks and stares into the distance like his goddamn GPS is recalculating. Gimmy, buddy. You're being outplayed by a guy who graduated with a degree in the arts from an actual art school that I don't even think has a football team, a guy who quite literally throws the ball with his feet, and a guy who models his game after goddamn Matt Leinart. This is your competition. You're somehow finding a way to get to the floor that is under the floor of talent in this group of prospects. Did I forget to mention that against the Mongoose, Gimmy gave up more points than our defense? A safety and two interceptions within ten yards of our goal line. Gimmy was harder to beat than the Mongoose offense! During the safety, I'm pretty sure I heard him repeatedly saying "I'm sorry, you've taken a wrong turn. Please turn around at your earliest convenience." I'm out here trying to get drafted, Gimmy. Meanwhile you're trying to find the quickest path to Radio Shack in fucking Zimbabwe." Bjørn inhales deeply and sits back on the couch. "Look man. I get it. Everyone has off games. Everyone has bad days. I just needed to get this off my chest. You do whatever you need to do to get back into it. Go to the shop and get re-calibrated. Go to best buy and upgrade your processor. Update your goddamn navigation disk for all I care. Fix whatever it is you have going on in the Frankenstein head of yours and lets get out there and win some games. Its not that hard. We get you the ball. You throw the ball. We win. Hold up your end or the next time the league has to reassemble your ass, all the league's horses and all the league's men won't be able to put Gimmy together again." Bjørn points to the camera once again. "Thanks for all the support guys. You're great for listening to my rant. Hopefully the whole team can play better and get some wins out there. Until next time, Bjørn out." Ironside Streaming has gone offline. *Bjørn Throwing a Teammate Under the Bus? - goodfortunecoffee - 08-12-2019 Gimmy needs to stop handing me the ball so much. I don't even really want it, but he keeps giving it to me on passing downs. Damnit Gimmy. *Bjørn Throwing a Teammate Under the Bus? - Murtsi - 08-13-2019 Maurice Virtanen stands fully behind you on this don't you worry! *Bjørn Throwing a Teammate Under the Bus? - TomHanks - 08-13-2019 This is slander and heresy and I will not stand for it.