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+---- Thread: *January 9th Resignation (/showthread.php?tid=16884)
*January 9th Resignation - ADwyer87 - 12-09-2019
I want to make an announcement.
I have been planning this for a while, but I want to make it known.
On January 9th, 2020, I will be stepping down as commissioner. That will be my 2 year HO anniversary. I will also be leaving the site.
I have ruined this league. Under my commissioning tenure the NSFL has almost folded several times. Under me jobs have been at crisis levels almost constantly. HO morale has been incredibly low.
People clearly want me gone. The simmer just resigned because of a decision I made and has now left the league. I still stand by that decision, but Its clear the people want me gone. S18 even has said so multiple times. I am not in touch and even what i think is right ends up ruining everything. I know everyone dislikes me and this league would have been so much better if i was never in it. I messed up everything and i'm so sorry.
I have been dealing with depression and anxiety for my whole tenure. Under my tenure my ex attempted suicide because we got into an argument. I had a couple of full breakdowns because of alcohol where i made threats to my friends that I would take my own life, including one that led me to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance. I have currently been on a 7 month job search that has totally demoralized me and also led me to having suicidal thoughts. I have had a bad case of imposter syndrome and it has led me to occasionally be belligerent. I have tried to stay calm and collected but as many can attest i have let my emotions often get the better of me in chats lately because its all been building up. For those who dont know, Frick was supposed to take over as commissioner, but he left to be a GM. I should have been gone by now but I was not, and clearly it shows. Also before this league started I had an ex girlfriend who lied about having cancer and cheated on me during finals week. I'm better from it now but it has never really stopped hurting. Obamacare reform has taken away my mental health coverage so I am not able to do therapy or take any medication. I think its time to turn a new leaf. This sim league has been a great and wonderful experience but I cannot help but feel paranoid that everyone hates me, and that I feel like certain members on the site have a wish to harass me until I leave and are waiting for the day I go with cheers, and also that I have done so much bad for the league that once I thought this league would end under my watch. This sim league has never caused me to want to hurt myself, but It has definitely been overall tearing me apart from the inside. After enduring fuck HO comments for almost 2 years I have almost no wuill to be in this community and every day i log on it hurts. I'm crying as im typing this right now, but I just cant keep this in anymore. I was hoping to leave quietly to no fanfare but ive already fucked that up too by making DD quit. I only do it because I care about this league and I dont want to be the guy that everyone looks back on and says "hey that fucker killed the league we liked, he was the worst." But its just so hard. I feel like this community would be better without me and i feel like if i stayed around all that would happen would be people would attack me. I just need a break and im sorry that i am making such a big deal of this, its silly and over emotional and its not something a good commissioner would ever do. But i know im a bad commissioner already and just recent stuff has triggered my emotions. I'm sorry
I will be staying around to help my successor, just to help them know what they need to know. when I took over i was thrown into the fire and it ended up ruining everything and I hope that my successor never has to deal with that, so I will do everythign I can to help them. I know that they will be amazing and make this league great, something I was never able to do.
I'm sorry everyone. I failed you. All I can hope for is one day you will forget about this time period in league history and only remember the great times that other people have done, and no one will remember my username.
I'm so sorry
*January 9th Resignation - slothfacekilla - 12-09-2019
Reading this hurts my heart. I hope you can step back and regain some positivity in your life, these leagues are supposed to be fun not ruin you.
Please reach out if you ever need anything. As someone who has dealt with some of what you spoke on I know sometimes just talking to someone about anything can help. Sending all the positive vibes your way and wishing you the best dude.
*January 9th Resignation - IsaStarcrossed - 12-09-2019
Hey, Dwyer, you big jerk. We haven't always seen eye to eye, but I wouldn't call you a bad commissioner. You've seen us through a lot in the time you've been running things and outside of mostly minor gripes and complaints, you've been great. Running this league isn't an easy task, especially when you have no prior experience and yet you've made it seem mostly seamless. You're one of the reasons we all love this league. You're one of the things that keeps this league holding together. We love you dude, despite all the bullshit. We're a community and everyone here is just here to have fun. Sometimes we lose sight of that and we let members of our community fall through the cracks for our own selfish reasons. Sometimes I feel like you were one of those members. You did your best for us. You worked your ass off for us. And you deserve nothing but respect for that. I appreciate you and I hope you elect to eventually come back and chill with us for whatever reason. Even if it's just in an unofficial capacity. I apologize for not taking more time to get to know you while I could, but I hope things improve for you. If you ever just want to chat or get to know someone new, hit me up. Good luck man, we love ya.
*January 9th Resignation - FleshBagSoup - 12-09-2019
Hope things go better for you in the future. And does this mean we are getting a divorce then?
![[Image: 614249609866510363.png?v=1]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/emojis/614249609866510363.png?v=1)
*January 9th Resignation - TeyonSchavari - 12-09-2019
I truly will miss you Dwyer. I hope the time away does you some good and that in time your wounds will heal. I really hope to see you back at some point in the future, if you ever feel up to it again
*January 9th Resignation - roastfuego - 12-09-2019
I wish you nothing but the best in life. I understand as the commissioner you receive more shit then you deserve. I hope you have the best outside of the simulation.
*January 9th Resignation - goodfortunecoffee - 12-10-2019
Well this seems like an eventful night.
On a serious note, everyone please take care of yourselves. This is all supposed to be fun. Don't stress yourselves over something like a sim league. Talk to people and ask for help if you are overwhelmed. Take breaks, keep things in perspective, and be nice to each other.
ADwyer I'm sorry for all the shit you are going through. <3 <3
*January 9th Resignation - Eco - 12-10-2019
????
Edit: I understand your decision and will always be there for you if you ever need my help. I love you buddy.
*January 9th Resignation - WALDO - 12-10-2019
i’ll really miss you man. hope whatever path you take in life is a good one. good luck, and have fun. i’ll always have memories of us making fun of scorp together. “we didn’t realize we were making memories, we were just having fun.”
love you man,
Waldo
*January 9th Resignation - NylarthePhoenix - 12-10-2019
No need to apologize. In my mind, you will always be a good commissioner. It seems to me that you really are in a terrible place mentally. I sincerely hope you get the help you need and find it in yourself to come back and have fun with us again.