[DEV] ISFL Forums
An Apology - Response - Printable Version

+- [DEV] ISFL Forums (http://dev.sim-football.com/forums)
+-- Forum: Community (http://dev.sim-football.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=5)
+--- Forum: Discussion (http://dev.sim-football.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=33)
+--- Thread: An Apology - Response (/showthread.php?tid=17988)

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5


An Apology - Response - nunccoepi - 01-24-2020

Quote: Opening up a chat to find out that your private messages are being broadcast to the entire league is a wild ride.

So let's talk.
Those are my words. And I will own them. Yes, I said these things. I think that we all have people we vent to. People we will say outrageous things to when we're fuming mad about something. Many of these things have also been removed from context and cherry-picked to show the worst.

I said things in a private chat with friends that I trusted. I said things when I was hurt, angry, frustrated, sad. I made jokes that were in poor taste.

I am sorry for anyone hurt by what I said. Truly, from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry.

Anyone affected who wants to talk through what I said and get closure on that is welcome to reach out to me directly.

To those who have concerns about my ability to act as commissioner after reading these messages, I understand your concerns. If you'd like to talk things through with a member of HO, you are welcome to reach out to one directly. If you would like to levy further concerns but do not want to speak with Head Office, I'd recommend reaching out to your GMs.

I've worked hard to separate things out for myself. There is Bex the Head Office member, who does her best to remain impartial and fair. Who understands that you don't have to be the biggest fan of someone to work alongside them. This is the Bex that stepped back on two occasions where there was a conflict of interest to make sure that a decision that was unbiased could be reached.

But behind the Head Office Bex, there is still a human being. One who has emotions and grudges and complicated interpersonal issues. This is not the Bex that I bring to the table when I show up to do work as commissioner. This is the Bex that I check at the door so that I can get work done and do what's best for the league.

The NSFL has become a family for me, for good and bad. Just as I don't get on with my biological sister 100% of the time, it is impossible for me to get on with every single member of the league 100% of the time. But at the end of the day, I'd do anything to put my sister in a good spot, even when I don't see eye to eye with her. I'd do anything to put this league in a good spot. I won't pretend to be perfect. I think there's more than enough evidence that I'm not floating around right now. I will say that I am human, I am capable of fault, and I am capable of admitting when I am in the wrong.

The things I said were not representative of my real feelings, but nevertheless, they were wrong of me to say.

I am sorry.
Bex

@bex

I simply want to say that this is a great apology. I was reading back on a few previous apology posts on here and generally the consensus seems to be that they have been lacking in some form or another. But I feel your sincerity and your regret deeply. You had the humility to apologize when you personally have been wronged. That's an incredibly difficult thing to do. Perhaps most importantly you take responsibility for the things you've said without making excuses. So thank you.

I'll admit that I haven't seen the screenshots personally, but they've been described to me. So, I don't know if any are about me, but even if there were, my opinion would be the same. We've all said things in confidence that we expect to remain there. So insofar as I'm concerned, you're forgiven.

Because I took a couple of months off, I didn't know you well or maybe at all prior to you taking a position in HO. My gut reaction when I see someone given so much responsibility so fast is horror and then uneasiness because "how well can they really know the league?" or "how can we know they have the league's best interest at heart?" But from what I've seen in this short time since I've been back, I've been very impressed. So thank you for your leadership.

I just felt like taking a minute to affirm you, particularly in this time, is important because I know how difficult a HO job is and have seen first hand how things like this can affect a person. And I wouldn't wish that on anyone. So hopefully this can offset it in some way. And if any others in the league feel the same way they are welcome to leave their comments as well.

I felt the need to respond here rather than in PM simply because I believe it would be better for the league. I very much love this league and I can tell you do too. So, for HO or whoever has moderation powers, please close of comments to this post if any comments are posted that are negative or otherwise not in line with the tone that I've tried to strike with this piece. Thank you.

-nunccoepi


An Apology - Response - Raven - 01-24-2020

I'll post my response here aswell. I didn't see it, but don't be too hard on yourself. You gotta vent sometimes and I think everyone has vented about someone before and if my dms would get leaked it'd probably be worse lol.

Just don't be two faced about it and live on.


An Apology - Response - DeadlyPlayer - 01-24-2020

(01-24-2020, 04:23 AM)Raven Wrote:I'll post my response here aswell. I didn't see it, but don't be too hard on yourself. You gotta vent sometimes and I think everyone has vented about someone before and if my dms would get leaked it'd probably be worse lol.

Just don't be two faced about it and live on.

I will say right now, most people in this league have rubbed me the wrong way at one time or another and I've said some mean ass shit about them. She owned up to what she's said (to fucking trusted friends), so if you're going to come at her, you should at least come at half the league who has said stuff like this but not been outed as of yet.


An Apology - Response - Rising Equinox - 01-24-2020

The shit-talking in a private chat is an entirely different story. I'm glad she owned up to it and said she was sorry, when she definitely didn't have to make any statement about it at all. But, that's not an excuse for threats of murder, ban, abuse of powers, etc and even the possibility of tampering. So yes, this is a great apology, not something you usually get for things like this, but it really only covers half the story. Obviously, I can't say anything for certain; I wasn't there. Only time will tell what will happen, if anything.


An Apology - Response - Vorshayla - 01-24-2020

I've seen said screenshots because I've asked to see them. I like to make informed decisions when I have all the information. What I saw and what ive seen are two different things. I have said many things in private and in confidence in the heat of the moment that many would take the wrong way out of context.

Bex apologized and and has proven to me that she does care about this community. Anyone who stays up to build a sim file from scratch because it needed to be done on top of all the other things I'm sure she has to do only does it because they care.

That's enough for me the apology was sincere I think it's time we move on and if there are those who cant then so be it. Shes still my commish and that's enough for me as well




An Apology - Response - Raven - 01-24-2020

(01-24-2020, 11:49 AM)Rising Equinox Wrote:The shit-talking in a private chat is an entirely different story. I'm glad she owned up to it and said she was sorry, when she definitely didn't have to make any statement about it at all. But, that's not an excuse for threats of murder, ban, abuse of powers, etc and even the possibility of tampering. So yes, this is a great apology, not something you usually get for things like this, but it really only covers half the story. Obviously, I can't say anything for certain; I wasn't there. Only time will tell what will happen, if anything.

Like were these just threats or did she actually act on them? Like I've probably said a few times that I'd like to ban some cunts on this site lol and did she actually specify say im going to pin point some person ip go to there houses and kill em? Because like saying in a fit 'God I could kill that person now' aint that big mate


An Apology - Response - Opera_Phantom - 01-24-2020

Place holder


An Apology - Response - Jiggly_333 - 01-24-2020

If this is where we're saying things, I'll just re-iterate what I told Bex yesterday: She's still my favorite big sister. Whatever she said about me doesn't matter. I know from all previous interactions with her that she's the most wonderful and most accommodating person and sometimes being "accommodating" means blending in with shitty people at times. The others in the server who decided to leak her frustrated venting are the ones who are so completely in the wrong here. This isn't just about Bex or what she's said, this is about the people who broke her trust and decided to take it upon themselves to release private information.

People say things in the heat of the moment when they're angry or pressed to say something horrible. It's not entirely excusable, but you can understand the situation around it. On the other hand, taking the time to go through, take screenshots, create an entire discord server, and post those horrible things said by that person is entirely vile. It is an invasion of privacy and a breach of trust, much more serious than anything Bex said.

I would hope that people realize that and stop spreading that shit. I would hope that the person or people responsible for this are punished for what is clearly a massive violation of the "Don't Be a Dick" Rule. I would also hope that in the future everyone realize that there's a person behind the user. No matter how many different profile pictures and gifs I have, I'm still a 20 year old white boy from Chicago. And no matter what Office meme or NFL player another user has covering their face, they're still human. They're still a person deserving of love and kindness.


An Apology - Response - caltroit_red_flames - 01-24-2020

People say shit all the time. People need to vent. Scummy thing to do what DD did. No reasons to be upset at anyone but him.


An Apology - Response - DeathOnReddit - 01-24-2020

I haven't seen the screenshots, but I will say a lot of people here have probably said stuff just as bad in their LRs and DMs.
But i heard there's some tampering stuff so thats what i care about