*Decrypting the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers’ DSFL Draft Twitter Clues

*Decrypting the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers’ DSFL Draft Twitter Clues - Printable Version

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*Decrypting the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers’ DSFL Draft Twitter Clues - katarn22 - 08-06-2020

Introduction

For those of you not on Twitter or not following the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers’ account, they announced on August 2nd, that they would be “…posting Draft Clues”. One can assume this means clues as to what positions or potentially even players they will be selecting, either with the first pick or throughout the whole draft. In this post I will attempt to make my high school English teachers proud and over-analyze these tweets for even a potential crumb of information regarding their draft plans. I hope you enjoy!

Tweet #1 – 10:31 PM, August 2nd, 2020

"The Ultimini Wind is a buccaneer
Blustering in from Myrtle Beach,
With a rollicking song, he sweeps along,
Swaggering boisterously.
His offense is amazing.
He wears a hooded sash,
With a purple hat about his head,
And a bristling black mustache...

He growls as he storms the country,
A villain big and bold.
And the teams all shake and quiver and quake,
As he robs them of their playoff hopes.
The Ultimini Wind is a buccaneer
Pillaging just for fun
He'll knock you 'round and upside down,
And laugh when he's conquered and won.”

Seeing this written out, I almost did not recognize it. After reading the entire thing, though, I realized it was a modified version of “The Autumn Wind” by Steve Sabol, former NFL films president. Several lines have been changed which will examine shortly. Quick side note, “The Autumn Wind” poem itself was actually a modified version of Mary Jane Carr’s “Pirate Wind”, which is the original.

So let’s take a look at all of the changes made by the Myrtle Beach Twitter account as compared to Steve Sabol’s “The Autumn Wind”, and analyze whether or not I feel they hold any hidden meaning beyond what meets the eye.

First stanza

First line: “Autumn” changed to “Ultimini” and “pirate” changed to “buccaneer”. No hidden meaning here, just changing the words to fit the league and their team.
Second line: “sea” changed to “Myrtle Beach”. Same as above, word changes to fit team location.
Third line: No changes.
Fourth line: No changes.
Fifth line: Almost the entire line has been changed, from “His face is weather beaten” to “His offense is amazing.” I feel this is the first line which gives us a potential clue as to Myrtle Beach’s thinking in the draft. While this could be referring to the team itself, it may also refer to the idea that they are interested in selecting an offensive player. Taking a look at their current roster, they only have 5 offensive players – two quarterbacks, a running back, a tight end, and an offensive lineman. Seeing as there are no wide receivers currently rostered, it might make sense for them to draft one.
Sixth line: No changes.
Seventh line: “silver hat” changed to “purple hat”. Similar to lines 1 and 2, this was changed to fit the appearance of the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers most likely.
Eighth line: No changes.

Second stanza

First line: No changes.
Second line: No changes.
Third line: “trees” changed to “teams”. Again, changed to fit with the DSFL setting.
Fourth line: “gold” changed to “playoff hopes”. With this change, the poem no longer rhymes. Other than that, I believe this was just another thematic change.
Fifth line: Same changes as the first line in the first stanza, same comments.
Sixth line: No changes.
Seventh line: No changes.
Eighth line: No changes.

It seems that only one line in the poem potentially has relevance to the draft pick. If we want to dig a little deeper, though, and propose another theory, then let us take a look at the original “The Autumn Wind” poem. As mentioned earlier, this poem was modified by Steve Sabol and since 1974 has been closely associated with the Los Angeles/Oakland Raiders. Throughout the 70’s and into the 80’s the Raiders were known of their tough, extremely physical defenses, leading them to two Superbowl victories in 1976 and 1980. Perhaps Myrtle Beach in selecting this poem is hoping to choose a defensive player to emulate that same style of football.

Tweet #2 – 12:52 AM, August 4th, 2020

Jack Sparrow (feat. Michael Bolton) – The Lonely Island

What a fantastic song, have to love The Lonely Island. For those of you who have not heard the song, you should give it a listen. Essentially, the members of The Lonely Island are collaborating with Michael Bolton on writing a sexy, club song. However, Michael Bolton has just finished watching the Pirates of the Caribbean series and, in true pirate fashion, commandeers the entire song multiple times to change it to the theme music from the movies. Eventually after being told to stop with the PotC crap, he transitions to other movies like Scarface and Forrest Gump. Great stuff, like I said.

For the sake of brevity, I won’t break down every single line and verse throughout the song, just the ones that I feel may be pertinent to the Buccaneers selection.

Looking over the intro and first two verses, nothing really seems to pop out as being relevant. Just some generic talk by The Lonely Island about the club – ordering drinks, ladies checking them out, etc. Our first morsel of a clue comes in the chorus where Michael Bolton sings for the first time about Pirates of the Caribbean. The line in question reads, “Raven locks sway on the ocean breeze.” Long time user @Raven, coincidentally, has a recreate prospect this season eligible for the draft, safety Davriel Lavigne. While this is different from the offensive player theory presented in the first tweet’s analysis, Lavigne is a highly rated prospect and it would make sense if he went somewhere in the first round. Let’s continue.

Another small shred of evidence supporting the wide receiver theory comes in verse 3, line 3 where Akiva Schaffer of The Lonely Island says “Motherfucking iceman, I’m the top gunner.” Though the iceman part most likely has no relevance, the second part of the sentence could. Gunner is a position on special teams, specifically punts, where two players on the outside of the formation “gun” down the field to try and get to the returner. The gunner position should be played by someone was is fast and cover a lot of ground. What position on offense fits this description? Wide receiver. Moving on.

After another verse, chorus, bridge, and interlude, we get to a second chorus where Michael Bolton decides to switch films, starting with Forrest Gump. For anybody who has seen Forrest Gump, they’ll know that he was actually a college football player at the University of Alabama, specifically a kick returner. Wide receivers are often used as kick returns due to their speed. Some may argue this point due to the number Gump is wearing, number 44. Keep in mind, though, that player number restrictions in college football, especially during the 60’s, are much laxer when compared to the NFL.

More support here for the wide receiver theory. Is this just confirmation bias? Probably.

Tweet #3 – 11:17 PM, August 4th, 2020

The tweet is a gif of the opening to any SpongeBob SquarePants episode: the gold-framed painting of a pirate with an eye patch, black pirate hat, green parrot on his shoulder, and animated lips. White text at the bottom goes through the brief exchange between the pirate captain and the kids watching up until the “Ohh…” part where he breaks out into the theme song shortly after.

This is one is wide open, as SpongeBob SquarePants is such a massive show. For the sake of this analysis, I think I will stick to analyzing the lyrics of the theme song. Several of the other clues were lyric or word related, so I see no reason this one should be any different. Although I do consider myself a SpongeBob afficionado, analyzing the entire show is simply unrealistic.

Lyrics

Are you ready kids?
Aye-aye captain.
I can't hear you!
Aye-aye captain!

Ohhhhhh! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
SpongeBob SquarePants!
Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!
SpongeBob SquarePants!
If nautical nonsense be something you wish...
SpongeBob SquarePants!
Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!
SpongeBob SquarePants!
Ready?

SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob SquarePants!

Wow there really are not as many lyrics to this song as I remember there being. Regardless, I will work with what I have. So one thought that jumps out to me is that this clue might be hinting at not only the position but the specific player the Buccaneers are interested in taking. That player is Dukburg QuakStak. What’s the logic here, you might be asking? Look at how his name is constructed. 4 syllables, 2 compound words (sort of), just like SpongeBob SquarePants. This would support the previous clue’s idea of selecting a defensive back.

One other thought I had when looking at these lyrics was offensive line. Offensive lineman could be considered “absorbent”, absorbing rushers from hitting the quarterback. The offensive line as a unit, however, should never be “porous”. Additionally, offensive linemen, depending on the play design, may have to “drop on the deck and flop like a fish” in order to properly make their block. More evidence for offensive line.

Tweet #4 – 9:15 PM, August 5th, 2020

Yo Ho, Yo Ho! A pirates life for me

Lyrics

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me
We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me
We extort, we pilfer, we filch, and sack
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho
Maraud and embezzle, and even high-jack
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me
We kindle and char, inflame and ignite
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho
We burn up the city, we're really a fright
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho

We're rascals, scoundrels, villans, and knaves
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho
We’re devils and black sheep, really bad eggs!
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me
We’re beggars and blighters and ne’er-do-well cads.
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho
Aye! But we’re loved by our mommies and dads!
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho

I am not going to lie, there is a lot of support within these lyrics for the Buccaneers drafting a defensive player. Starting with the first verse, specifically “We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot”, I would argue this gives support to a player who can generate turnovers, pillaging or plundering the ball. This idea is again present in the second verse with the line “We extort, we pilfer, we filch, and sack.” The explicit use of the word sack could also lead some to think a linebacker or defensive linemen may be the pick. This general theme continues throughout the song. The only support I could come up with for an offensive player is in the fourth verse, third line where they sing “We’re devils and black sheep…” Some may argue (not saying I do) that offensive linemen are the black sheep of the offense, not contributing to scoring in any direct way. If the Buccaneers feel this way, then the pick could be an OL.

Tweet #5 – 11:45 AM, August 6th, 2020

The tweet consists of two pictures. One is of what seems to be an old, wooden prosthetic “peg leg”, while the second picture is of what looks to be an eye patch.

Believe it or not, I think this is the easiest one yet. Or maybe that’s just because I’m willing to stretch further and further to find meaning in these tweets. Anyways, I believe that both of these point to an offensive position being taken, specifically offensive linemen. Let’s take a look at the first picture. A peg leg is something used to replace the one’s foot. Offensive linemen need to use their feet even more than their hands when they’re blocking. Proper footwork is what determines whether or not they get beat. The second picture, the eye patch, also relates to blocking but in a different way. While wearing an eye patch, you are essentially “blind” in one eye. Relating this to the offense, every quarterback has their blind side – the left side of the line if you are a right handed quarterback, and vice versa. So how do you protect a quarterback from being hit on their blindside? A good offensive lineman, specifically a left or right tackle.

As for any clues pointing to a defensive player, I really have nothing on this one. The closest I could come up with is that they want to draft a defensive player that will tear off ball carriers’ legs and hit them so hard they go blind. But that seemed like a little bit TOO much of a stretch, so I am sticking with offense on this one.

Conclusion

Most of these clues seemed to have words or lyrics attached to them which did make analysis a bit easier. After my very thorough and empirically founded analysis, you can see that there is support for players on both sides of the ball. While obviously these guesses are pure speculation, I will post below what I think the most likely outcome for the pick is in order of confidence.

Offensive line: seems like a lot of the clues hinted in one way or another at the offense, specifically the line.
Cornerback/safety: lots of references to hard hitting and stealing the ball, also could fit the kick/punt return narrative nicely.
Wide receiver: the strength for this one started out pretty strong with the first two clues. However, clues 3-5 have (from what I can tell) nothing to do with the position. That being said, Minnesota’s roster currently has no wide receivers, so even if it is not in the first round, expect them to draft multiple throughout the draft.
Defensive line/linebacker: I know this is technically three separate positions, but there was really only one clue I felt that related exclusively to this. Still, Minnesota could use another defensive tackle and an additional linebacker.
Any other position: I know I did not mention quarterback, running back, tight end, or even kicker/punter, but maybe my analysis was way off and I missed it completely. Always a possibility.
Trade the pick: I would be shocked if this is what actually happens. Why tweet out clues about the pick if you are just going to trade it? Maybe they actually will trade the pick, and just put the clues out so some unfortunate sap will write a forum post overanalyzing the clues. Still, nothing is off the table.

All that being said, I would like to extend a thank you to the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers Twitter account. I found these clues very entertaining, and I certainly could not have written this article without them. Best of luck to all prospects at the draft tonight, should be a very exciting one!

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RE: Decrypting the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers’ DSFL Draft Twitter Clues - Faded - 08-06-2020

:simon:

RE: Decrypting the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers’ DSFL Draft Twitter Clues - GlimsTC - 08-06-2020

ACTUAL BIG BRAIN ARTICLE

RE: Decrypting the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers’ DSFL Draft Twitter Clues - .Laser - 08-06-2020

inb4 mbb Twitter account punished for leaking

RE: Decrypting the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers’ DSFL Draft Twitter Clues - katarn22 - 08-06-2020

I have been informed by a certain member of the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers that the clues, in fact, had no meaning. My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.