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+---- Thread: BuzzSim: The 12 HOTTEST player names of all time! (/showthread.php?tid=2508)
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BuzzSim: The 12 HOTTEST player names of all time! - bovovovo - 07-22-2017
Here at BuzzSim, we only report on the hottest of topics, and what is hotter right now than the NSFL? On that note, which sports league has as many hunks as the NSFL? Before you start oogling during game day, remember that should never judge a book by its cover. But don’t worry, you can absolutely judge a book by its name! This week, our highly respected and award winning investigative journalists report on the hottest, most hilarious, and sexiest player names of the NSFL. From the ethnic to the classic to the alliteration-tastic, you won’t believe some of these names!
You thought Benedict Cumberbatch was a great name? Just wait until you see number 9 on this list!
EDITOR's EDIT: list is not in any specific order
1. Darlane Farlane – RB – @Gwdaja –
This first name is so poetic that it even rhymes! Darlane Farlane’s parents may have been poets, even if they didn’t even know it. Short, simple, and eloquent, it is extremely satisfying to say this name out loud. We know Mark Twain would be proud (hey look, we can be poets too!) The surname “Farlane” seems to originate from “Macfarlane” of Scotland. Today, there are approximately 378 people in the world with the last name “Farlane,” and 201 of them are in South Africa. Wow!
2. Turk Turkleton – K/P – @Raven –
Scrubs is one of our favorite TV shows here at BuzzSim (just pretend season 9 doesn’t exist). Even if you don’t understand that reference, there is no denying how juicy the name Turk Turkleton is! Turk Turkleton seems to be the only person in the entire world with the surname “Turkleton,” but there are about two people in the United States with the surname “Tarkleton.” Turk Turkleton is tall, dark, and unique!
3. Scrub Kyubee – QB – @DollarAndADream –
Boy, these Baltimore Hawks players sure do love Scrubs. We love this name because it’s just so gosh darn punny! It’s also unique… there doesn’t seem to be anybody else other than Scrub Kyubee with this last name in the world, but there are 8 people with the surname “Kubee” and six people with the surname “Kaybee,” all in India. How interesting!
4. Blaster Blade – DE – @Blaster –
Who doesn’t love some good old fashioned alliteration? This name rolls off the tongue so beautifully and smoothly that we can almost taste it! Go ahead and say it out loud, we’ll wait. Did you taste it too? We just love saying this name out loud and how your tongue flips up and down, sliding up and down your mouth. But don’t be deceived by this delicious name, Blaster Blade is as tough as they come, a real man’s man! There are approximately 5,522 people with the surname “Blade” in the world, with most of them being in the United States, and means “the son of Blade.” Or it could mean “corn-handler.” If you thought this was a poppin’ name, just wait until you see the last name on this list!
5. Rich Gucci – TE – @`7Sports` –
If you’re reading this article looking for swag, look no further. Rich Gucci just sounds like money, and is just so much fun to say! We just hope you don’t have a lisp, or this will be a difficult one for you. Urban Dictionary defines Gucci as referring to something “good, chill, cool, or doing fine,” and we have to agree. There aren’t many other players with a finer name than Rich Gucci! There are about 2,479 people in the world with the surname “Gucci,” which is an Italian surname and most of them live in Italy. Mama Mia!
6. Kendrick Hendrix – WR – @deadendpath27 –
Another name that, similar to Blaster Blade, just rolls off the tongue so smoothly. Kendrick Hendrix’s parents must have aced their high school poetry classes, as this name is able to rhyme by using different letters! That’s called a slant rhyme for all you nerds out there! The surname “Hendrix” is traced from the German surname “Heinrich,” which means “home ruler.” There are approximately 49,834 people with the surname “Hendrix” in the world, and most of them are in the United States. Exciting!
7. Fuego Wozy – DE – @TheWoZy –
How good would this list be if we didn’t mention the Wozy? This name may not be as poetic or sexy as some of the other names on this list, but it’s certainly one of our favorites! “Wozy” is the 5,523,051st most common surname in the world, and there are only two people in the world that have the last name “Wozy.” What makes Fuego Wozy so unique is that “Fuego” is just as unique a name as “Wozy” is! Did Fuego Wozy’s parents name him after the minor character “Fuego” from the X-Men comics? Or after the merengue singer – songwriter “Fuego,” founder of the Fireboy Music label? What a mystery!
8. Jameis Christ – QB – @Perkules –
The NFL may have a player with the nickname Jameis Christ, but the NSFL has the real one! What makes Jameis Christ’s name so exciting is that, according to our world-renowned and Pulitzer prize winning investigative journalists, Jameis Christ’s name appears on the stat sheet as J. Christ. Just like Jesus Christ! You heard it here first only at BuzzSim. The surname “Christ” is a shortened version of “Christopher,” and there are about 58,900 people in the world with the surname “Christ,” most of which are in Germany. Cool!
9. Bork Björnsson – DT – @bovovovo –
This is it. The sexiest and greatest name in the history of literally everything. And we aren’t just saying that because he’s the one writing the article! Fun fact: Bork Björnsson has the only name in the NSFL with an umlaut mark in it (which is what that ö is called)! “Björnsson” means “Son of Björn” and there are about 2,141 people in the world with this surname, and most of them live in Iceland, where Bork was born. Skol!
10. Jogn Floggity – OL – @Jogn –
Here at the BuzzSim office, all the ladies swooned when they first heard this name. Move over “Khaleesi,” the next hottest baby name is Jogn! Jogn Floggity’s name flows together smoother than a buttered baby’s bottom, and this name made us realize how beautiful the letter “g” is! The surname “Floggity” doesn’t seem to exist in any way shape or form, but there is one person in the world with the surname “Floggle.” Close enough!
11. Sinjin Flimjollywop – LB – @Dinklburger01 –
Trivia time! Which of these names is NOT from Harry Potter: Filius Flitwick, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Sinjin Flimjollywop, or Rufus Scrimgeour? If you guessed Sinjin Flimjollywop, you’re right! This name has a simple ridiculousness that makes us feel right at home, like we’re curled up next to the fire drinking apple juice and reading Harry Potter, or when we were children and our parents were reading us the tale of Rumple Stiltskin as we fell asleep. “Flimjollywop” is easily the most unique name in the league, and the surname is also completely made up. But it is similar to the Arabic surname “Flimban.” Kinda.
12. Angus Winchester – OL – @timeconsumer –
Angus Winchester is so simple but also so elegant. One of the more memorable names in the league, Angus Winchester’s name just screams of muscles, beards, whiskey, and meat. Sometimes, names don’t need to poetic or ridiculous to be memorable, all it takes is simple execution. The surname “Winchester” has about 23,403 bearers in the world. The name means “of Winchester,” a city in Hampshire, England. “Angus” is probably a Scottish, Irish, and/or Gaelic name that means “Superior Strength” or “One Vigor,” and was the name of the old Celtic god Angus Og. Amazing!
So there you have it. The hottest names from around the NSFL! Be sure to check out our next article, The 37 NSFL Instagram accounts that will make you feel like a genius!!!
(1305 words)
BuzzSim: The 12 HOTTEST player names of all time! - TheWoZy - 07-22-2017
I should be #1 tbh
BuzzSim: The 12 HOTTEST player names of all time! - White Cornerback - 07-22-2017
@NUCK
@Bzerkap
I think we need to trade this guy
BuzzSim: The 12 HOTTEST player names of all time! - Bzerkap - 07-22-2017
(07-22-2017, 04:39 PM)Dermot Wrote:@NUCKLol this is peak offseason!!
@Bzerkap
I think we need to trade this guy
BuzzSim: The 12 HOTTEST player names of all time! - kckolbe - 07-22-2017
This made me so happy.
BuzzSim: The 12 HOTTEST player names of all time! - bovovovo - 07-22-2017
(07-22-2017, 05:40 PM)Bzerkap Wrote:Lol this is peak offseason!!
How dare you. BuzzSim is a respected journalism news outlet, guys!
BuzzSim: The 12 HOTTEST player names of all time! - iamslm22 - 07-22-2017
Quality article, but you gotta go down from 12 - 1 instead of 1 - 12
BuzzSim: The 12 HOTTEST player names of all time! - Bzerkap - 07-22-2017
(07-22-2017, 04:42 PM)bovovovo Wrote:How dare you. BuzzSim is a respected journalism news outlet, guys!My apologies. Much respect here
BuzzSim: The 12 HOTTEST player names of all time! - DeathOnReddit - 07-22-2017
Doesnt have me. Worst list.
BuzzSim: The 12 HOTTEST player names of all time! - Stormblessed - 07-22-2017
How you possibly have a list like this and not include Stormblessed