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+---- Thread: *Is the Big Edd curse real?? (/showthread.php?tid=29777)
*Is the Big Edd curse real?? - Big Edd - 02-02-2021
We are just about halfway through Big Edd's career now, and man has it be a roller coaster ride. A couple of pro bowls and awards, but one thing has remained clear and will no longer continue without being talked about: The Big Edd Curse. These past few days I have run some super technical calculations and determinations on a super technological level that even Elon Musk reached out to help me. We analyzed that trail Big Edd leaves on each of the 5 teams (Dallas Birddgos, Orange County Otters, Sarasota Sailfish, Honolulu Hahalua, Colorado Yeti) he has been on and how they are doing today. The results may or may not put fear in your heart and scare you to death, so please read this with caution... I warned you.
S21Good Old Dallas. The place where it all started... or should I say ended. Big Edd's lone year at Dallas was a pretty darn good one as he produced the most tackles out of any defensive tackle which helped him clinch a pro bowl spot. As for the Dallas team, they finished 5-9 in what would be their first season as an expansion team. The season got off to a rocky 1-3 start and eventually found themselves on the brink of elimination after a week 7 loss to Norfolk. All hope was lost, but somehow the team rallied a three-win streak and put themselves in prime position to find a spot in the playoffs at 5-5. Edd was on a fire sack streak, Monty Jack was slinging the rock, and the defense began looking stout. The zoomed past the other expansion team in a 27-10 blowout win. Momentum was building and it just barely helped them squirm by the Minnesota Grey DUcks. In the next game, whcih would be Edd's best game of the year, he posted a sack a safety and 2 tackles to help the Birddogs contninue their 3 game hot streak. And so this is when the BIg Edd curse starts to sneak itself into the picture. Noone in Dallas expected the next four weeks to be a complete and utter flop. The Curse really waited till the end to make its appearance and man, it made an APPEARANCE. Dallas would go on lose to Kansas City, then Mrytle beach, then Portland, and a heartbreaking loss to Norfolk. A team with four players in the pro bowl, defensive player of the year candidates, and even White Goodman managed to let their playoff hopes slip away. Was this just a coincidence? Who was to blame? Is a Hot Dog a sandwich? IT will all be answered here.
S22The S22 draft. One of the most infamous and well-known draft classes in the history of Pro and Simulation leagues. A pretty stacked class with max earners in nearly every early round. Big Edd had zero expectations walking into the draft, so when his name was called in round 2, he was both shocked and amazed. In a post draft interview with Big Edd by ESPN, his was dripping with excitement and literal gucci drip: "Man I'm so excited to get working with sucha prolific franchise. I like winning and the Otters definitely know how to do that, so it makes too much sense!" And winning was something the Otters had become familiar with with tall their Ultimus and conference championship trophies they had. There was nothing stopping Orange County from snagging another Ultimus and getting Big Edd his very own... unless there was something. The season went as expected with the Otters crusising to another winning season and another 1 seed in the ASFC. Favorites to win it all entering the season, Big Edd and the Otters were expecting nothing less than that trophy ceremony. Lead by their top offense and defense, Orange County steam rolled through the Sabercats and Outlaws on route to another consecutive Ultimus appearance. So far so good...no curse no nothing crazy.... Everything was goin in favor of the Otters as they found themselves up 21-3 against the Colorado Yeti with a little of 8 minutes to go in the 3rd. Annnnd this is where all hell broke loose. The Yeti would drive down the field three times making the top ranked Otters defense look like a DIII school. What a flop. The Otters were devasted after getting outscored 22-3 in the final 23 minutes of the Ultimus. The Edd curse once again showing up at the worst time. GREATEST CHOKE OF ALL TIME!
S23The offseason that followed the S22 Ultimus choke was a long one for Big Edd and the Otters. Teammates were disgruntled, coaches disappointed, Edd started playing Madden. He trained everyday on his Xbox perfecting his sack craft. Edd tells me that "I was playing for like 27 hours a day or something. I felt like I did not do enough to help my team, so Imma make sure I can show up for real next season. That stupid [expletive] loss was not my fault though lol. That's everyone elses fault if we being for real." Edd never fails to give us rather inteteresting interviews and when the media caught a whiff of what was said by him, the media went ablaaze. Articels and tweets flying left and right "Is Big Edd the Issue in Orange County" , "Orange County Crybaby Fatty" and others. Knowing Edd, this was not gonna go unnoticed. He loves being the center of attention and was made for situations like this. Edd continued his work along with the Otters in their anger-fueled offseason. Season 23 marked the last ever in the National Simulation League as the commisioners decided it was time to connect with our INternational friends as well. Edd and the Otters made sure to let the league know they had unfinished business from the season before. They came out blazing and firing ona ll cylinders as they lead the league with a 3-0 record and leading in every single. Big Edd began making a name for himself and put the league on notice of leading all defensive tackles in sacks all season. All those hours on madden were finally proven their worth and helped Edd make a great stateline and an eventual Defensive Tackle of the Year award. The Otters were on fire and finished with a better record than the year before (11-5). AFter a shellacking of the Outlaws, the Otters met up with the Copperheads. Orange County were huge favorites and were not looking to disappoint. All was going to plan as the Otters entered the 4th quarter up 19-14. Then bang. THe Curse strikes again... antoher one bites the dust. Armstrong throws a pick six and kickstarts the Copperheads upset comeback. Unbelievable in his last game as an Otter. All season, the hard work, the effort all gone to waste. Edd was asked about what his offseason plans were, he responded "Hotdogs are hotdogs not [expletive] sandiwches bruh,' and proceeded to remove the Otters from his Twitter bio and unfollwoed all his teammates. A few days later, ESPN and CBS reported the DTOTY and Pro Bowler had requested a trade after another abysmal ending. The rumors were not taken seriously until Edd announced that he was traded tot he Srasota SAilsifh. The Big Edd curse seems like it is not done with the Otters as they have yet to win an Ultimus since Edd's arrival...
S24A fresh start for Big Edd in the beautiful city of Sarasota, Florida. A releatively new expansion team as well as the Sailfsih were in their second or third season ever. Edd seemed to love it as he not only got to rock the green and blue drippy jerseys, but he got to join his old Birddog bud Mango Panda. The duo alongside Booger MCfarland and Frost were ready to put the SAilfsih on the headlines. In an interview with FOX Sports, Edd was asked about how he was going to prepare this summer and if the pressure of last year's DTOTY was too much pressure. Edd laughed and was like "Mannn, are you seious? It's like y'all don't knowme already. Imma jsut keep doing my thing on Madden. keep grindin that [expletive] and keep my focus on the game. It it ain't broke why fix am i right? AS for the presssurre? That's nothing. I live for this pressure and imma make sure to shut up the haters and do it all again... Whats the one saying? Pressure makes diamonds or something but yea, Im ready." Edd would later tell reporters he had a dream of the upcoming season and he would win DTOTY but something would happen... No one paid it any attention and thought Edd was just meming or something. The ISFL media seemed to have zero respect for anything Edd and the Sailfish said about them smacking around the league. Edd gathered the team one day and told them to make sure to use every single tweet, every single article, everything as bulleetin material. Whateveer he said in that team meeting must have had something magical in it. Sarasota would shock everyone and their mommas as they openend the season on a 6 game win streak. Edd began getting the name King Big Maidas because everywhere he touched and played seemed to turn into gold. Both sides of the ball were showing out game in and game out as Banks II was rising int he MVP race, so was Edd in the DTOTY race once again. He would break the franchise record for sacks (13) and also break tons of personal marks as well. Sarasota clinched a playoff spot at 12-4 and for the first time a home game too. They would complete the season sweep of the Butchers in the wildcard round as Big Edd and the Fish had their eyes set on that trophy. They faced the daunting task of going at the Yeti but Edd was not scared. He made sure he and his team were ready to go and they put forth a rgeat fight. The score was tied at 17 each entering the 4th. The yeti quickly drove down and scored another touchdown while the Sailfsih knocked in a field goal with 10 minuets to go. They would down and fail to convert a 4th and 2 on the Yeti 35. No worries, the defense was stout and got the ball back... just for the Sailfish to fail to convert another 4th and short at the Yeti 16. Nobody did any post game interviews as Edd walked into the lockerroom after ANOTHER disappointing ending to hsi season. The DTOTY award he would receive kept his hopes up for the next season though as he was set to return for avengement afteer coming so close again. THe Curse aka Captain dont save a hoe is here again.
S25Now a seasoned veteran, Big Edd had become a pretty well known guy around the league. Some called him Large Edward, others Mr.Back2Back. To everyone's surprise, Edd was not terribly sad after the playoff loss as he told reproters on NBC "Losing is what makes us stronger. YOu gotta learn from your mistakes and everytime we fail we must get up. And to be honest im just happy to win another award and yea. This year though, I got a feeling, I know its the one Im excited to run it back with the Sailfish"... we are going to visit this a little later this season. Very much unlike season 24, the Sailfish did not come out on fire - they were ice cold like some smelly tuna or sardines. Frustrations grew and tensions rose in the lockerroom. Fingers were being pointed and roasts were traded as teh Sarasota entered week 8 with a 2-5 record. For the first time since the DSFl, Edd was on a losing team. But he pai dit no attention and conitnued getting better amd stayed focused until.. Until someone stole his Doritos at a team lunch. The chips were no where to be seen and it should have gone without being said that NOBODY MESSES WITH BIG EDDS FOOD. And that is exactly what happened and it went incredibly bad. Edd began fist fighting with his GM Frost as they traded blows. Being the supreme super strong and atheletic athelete Edd knocked the heck out of Frost. He proceeded to pickup Frost and pulled Randy Orton RKO on him and eventually putting Frost to sleep. The room was silent. Edd stomped to the front of the room and in big red letters wrote on a board " TRADE ME OR ELSE." The very next day Edd was placed pn the trade block for the third time in his career. The media and poparazzi were flocking him every where he went. Everytime he was asked the same question and everytime he told them that he was Big Edd and nobody ever messes with him and his favorite chips. Edd would go on to sign his first brand deal with Bear Jordan and came out with his own shoes becoming the first ever Jordan Partner int he ISFL. The shoes he made were super fresh and so drippy clean, he called them the Freshy Fresh One's with the slogan "I beat the living [expletive] out of Frost LOL" on the side. A week later after another double sack game, Edd laid on his coach flipping through the channels until he saw on the ISFL Sports SHow that he had been fianlly traded away tot he Honolulu Hahalua. He was free at last and man was he excited. Not only did he get to live in Hawaii, but he was going to work with his old GM from Dallas, Gucci. Edd would later finish the hectic season with another 13 sacks, pro bowl, and just narrowly losing out on a third consecutive DTOTY. He wasn't fazed and sat back and watched the Sailfish's season come to a flop hystericall once again. THe common pattern of the Big Edd curse waiting till the very end to make sure its curses hurt even more haopened again. Sarasota would win 9 games after trading Edd and finish with an 11-5 record and once again having their sights on that Trophy. But after sweeping the Butches the season prior, the Sailfish were embarrased at home and were bounced out the playoffs in the first round. WHen asked about how he felt about that ending, Edd just simply smirked and proceeded to flex all his money and gucci chains. Like the Otters, the Sailfish have yet to win an Ultimus actually I dont even think they've reached it ever.
S25Edd's time was very short in Honolulu. He was still in the middle of a 3 year 5 million dollar contract os he could not yet hit free agency. He became super bored with the hahalua people and in all honesty thought they wierd. The lockerroom was essentially dead. There was no passion, no vision, simply there was no aggression in the Honolulu team. They obviosuly were used to losing and that irked Edd. He became accustomed to winning, he was not a loser and for sure was not going to let the media paint him as one. He did what everyone expected and respectfully asked to be traded that offseason. He spent lots of time swimming in the warm Hawaii water and fishing and stuff. Edd's continued success and prolific name across the world inked him a massive Bear Jordan deal worth $500 million dollars for the next 10 years. Edd went straight to Twitter to let everyone know "BEAR JORDAN - JUST DO IT YESSIR MAMA WE MADE IT!! This just the beginning. Been proving all the haters wrong since I was born! THank GOD always and can not wait to see what the future has set for me - BEAR JORDON ATHELETE" Whether he knew it or not, Edd foreshadowed lots of great things to happen. DOritos heard of what happened to hi back in the meeting in Sarasota, so they supplied him with a lifetime supply of all the Dorito chips he wanted. Pixar hit Edd up later that week and wanted him to start in their new movie "Big Edd The GOAT. He was drowining in all the money and all the clut one could imagine. He was hittting all the clubs and allt he joints. Life was good, everything was on the ups until he decided to drunk tweet some crazy stuff - apparently Candy Corn is a top 3 candy and if anyone disagrees they can suck his [expletive]. Well uh, I dont know if the CUrse is to blame or just his stupidness but Bear Jordan proceeded to terminate their contract with Edd ending all ties with hos name. What a fall from grace. Once a 2 time DTOTY with more money than the nation of Cameroon, to a struggling DT with him 5 million dollars toh is name. It was not looking to great for Edd in the ISFl either as it looked like nobody wanted to trade for him and his antics and was soon set to play for the Hahalua again. To his luck, he was informed that the team that had beat him twice already in the Ultimus would be trading for him. Edd was going to get his chance to rpove to everyone he was still that DTOTY pro bowler and that he deserved to be on a winning team. As for the Honolulu, they have stunk and really thst's it. The curse may have set an eternal spell on these guys as it looks like they wil NEVER make the playoffs -ever.
S26The COlorado Yeti, really the reason Edd has no rings on his fingers. This move felt like Edd was joining the dark side. ALmost like a Kevin Durant level switch of teams. "IF youc an't beat them, join them". Nonehteless, Edd put everything in the past and was excited to meet his new teammates. They Yeti were coming off their own unfortunate loss to the 9-7 SAbercats lead by none other than Jamar Lackson aka Mr.F speed. So immediately, Edd and his new teammates had one thing in common: revenge tour S26. Edd got to meeet another former Birddog teammate in William Lim whichw as cool. Once again, all was looking well for Edd and everything was pointing towards another deep run for the Yeti. Edd and the Yeti got off to a rather rocky 2-2 start lead by their rookie QB. It was alright though, he was just a rookie so everything went as usual. AS for Edd statistically, he was having one of his worst ever since his rookie season. Instead of working in the offseason and playing Madden, the was work the clubs and playing with the fish in the Hawaii waters. The lack of workwas showing itself ont he field which frustrated Edd a bit but all was well as the Yeti found their strides and began clicking. A four game win streak inlcuding a few bug games by Edd put the Yeti at the top of the league at 7-4, just a few wins froom clinching another consectuive playoff spot. This time, it seems like the Big Edd curse smacked the Yeti AND himself. Friendly fire got the worst of Edd as he didn't sack another quarterback sicne that 7-4 record. HE evetnaully didn't even get nominated for the DTOTY for the first time ever and even missed the pro bowl - something that never happened even in the DSFL. Edd decided to kickstart his rap career rather than hitting the lab like he used to do. Big Schmoney Edd was his rapper name and he began droppping a lot more tracks than sacks including one of his most famus ones "Frost Sux lmao" with over six million streams on Spotify and Apple Music. All this was going on while the COlorado Yeti found themselves on a four game skid where everything was going wrong for them. Witht he season basically over, Edd decided to skip practice all week and skip out and gave little to no effort in the last game. For the first time, the Yeti were eliminated from playoff contention. Once 7-4, and now 8-8 the yeti were in absolute shock. AS for Edd, he was laughing and meming as usual. HE was interview by the Colorado News station in which he excplaimed "Does it suck that we missed the playoffs? Yes. DO I really care though? Hell NO. This team obviously sucks and has no idea what they're doing. I feel like the team is being lead by a bunch of babies. There is no accountablitiy around here and that has to change if we ever want to return to the playoffs. If you have been keeping track the Big Edd Curse is an astonishing 7 for 7, it really does not miss. Despite asking for a trade, ISFL Sport News reports Big Edd received "little to no attention".
S27AH yes, season 27. Man has it been a crazy ride or what. But like the Big Edd Curse, the fun never ends in Edd's chaotic life. After his rap career rocketed last eyar, Edd made sure to not stop his grind. To add onto to his 2 DTOTY's and other awards, Edd won a bunch of Music Awards, Artist of the Year, and two of the most succesfuls track of the year "Frost Sux lmao" and "Lambo Lambo ft. Boo Boo Smith Schuster". "Lambo Lambo" became the National Anthem of the Bittsburgh Stellars and also a top hit on the Social Media app Ticky Tock. Once again, Edd seemed to have won at another thing because all he does is win win win no matter what. No back to the ISFL. The offseason was rather boring, and so to excite it up a bit Edd got all the yeti people to start playing Minecraft. Man was it a hit ! The Yeti would spend hours nuilding and mining and everything in the game having a blast. Edd and his creative innovative engineering self began designing and building beautiful masterpiece like towers and sky bridges. They were some of the greatest works of art the world had ever seen. They were so maginificent that the U.S Musuem of National History and The Louvre called for Edd to build replicas for them. But for some reason, the Yeti people thought other wise. They would tear down every single block of all the creations Edd made. IT confused Edd and he wondered why in the hell they would do that. He never did it to them, but oh well. He didn't think much of it and continued mining and what not. The season finally began as the Yeti put forth a rgeat showing against the Sarasota Sailfish. A great win lead by Big Edd and his sack helped the yeti get their forst win since week 11 of season 26. The next two weeks though, would begin to fuel the ever-growing tension in the Yeti lockerroom. Once again, the Colroado Yeti began sucking terribly. It became a weekly thing where they would play with half effort and act like they didn't care. Edd's frustratiions became clear to the media and across the league. He would go on to Instagram Live to blast the Yeti and their lackluster efforts on the field and practices detailing "Man... here in Colroado its a buncha goofys who dont care not one bit. They all hella wierd too and I dont know if I really want to be here anymroe. It's obvious they would rather focus on destroying my buildings in Minecraft than putting up points and turnovers." On his way back to the lockerroom, Edd would find his stuff thrown out the lockerroom as tensions were at an all time high. Once again he was put on the trading block and he was ecstatic about it: "LETS GOO about damn time. Im tired of being here they obviosuly don't want me here and I dont wanna be here either. #TheNextChapter"
RE: Is the Big Edd curse real?? - Frostbite - 02-02-2021
Frost Sux Lmao is a terrible song and after listening it I can understand why you've been traded multiple times
RE: Is the Big Edd curse real?? - zaynzk - 02-02-2021
tldr?
RE: Is the Big Edd curse real?? - Big Edd - 02-02-2021
(02-02-2021, 11:23 PM)Frostbite Wrote: Frost Sux Lmao is a terrible song and after listening it I can understand why you've been traded multiple timessmh it was fire
RE: Is the Big Edd curse real?? - siddhus - 02-03-2021
Interesting take on the honululu locker room
RE: Is the Big Edd curse real?? - r0tzbua - 02-03-2021
Applied.