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*New York GMs Prejudiced Against Strong Refrigerators - TeyonSchavari - 05-14-2021 Voucher BREAKING NEWS: NEW YORK GMs PREJUDICED AGAINST STRONG REFRIGERATORS After a long season 28 in the International Simulation Football League, many of the New York Silverbacks players acquired bananas for being the top performer of each game during the regular season. Of these players to receive them, it should be noted for no particular reason that Captain Rogers ended the season with the most bananas for being the best offensive player in five games this year. Among the various other recipients of the coveted banana, we find @platanocat, also known as Marlon Alexander, the beefy mauler of an offensive lineman who acquired one banana during the Silverbacks successful S28 campaign. For those who don't know, Alexander is not nicknamed "the fridge," he is literally a jacked up refrigerator. This Maytag is an absolute beast, however his own GM's have proven to be irrationally hateful of colossal coolers such as Alexander. It needs to be made clear that bananas are purely handed out based on performance, and is not left to the subjectivity of the GMs of New York. After recent events, it is apparent that the Silverback GMs gave this banana to Alexander begrudgingly. A source from within the New York locker room has spoken out, saying they heard @zaynzk say, "Refrigerators aren't prime apes" before snatching the banana away from Marlon Alexanders meaty fingers. Like a true baboon, Zayn then replaced the banana with not one, but two gorilla turds. Zayn (pronounced "Zayy-ene") allowed the rest of the gorilla gang to hold onto their bananas, even going as far as to say "It is time we stop speaking to that glorified cooler Marlon Alexander." The amount of disrespect to snatch away a banana from a monkey and shit in his hand was shocking to the players. I've reached out to players and team personnel to comment on the situation. "I disagree with my GMs decision to take away Marlon's banana, and especially his decision to give him poop in its place. Perhaps its time we look into acquiring new leadership." - RB Captain Rogers "To be completely honest, witnessing Zayn's actions toward Marlon was traumatizing. I'm questioning my endorsement of making Zayn the GM of this team." - DT Bubba Thumper (@woelkers) "Quite frankly, after finally being called up as a rookie on this team, I find this all very concerning. I may need to re-negotiate my contract." - RB Brandon Prince (@Void_DCXI) "I fully stand by Zayn's decision and am happy to be working as his co-GM. I'm definitely not being forced to say this. Pls help" - @TheRocheLimit Zayn declined to comment on the allegations regarding his clear discrimination towards Refrigerators. How will New York proceed after these disastrous rumors from within the locker room? Experts speculate that Zayn will be removed from his position, however that would require action on the part of ISFL HO, which of course means that nothing will happen. RE: New York GMs Prejudiced Against Strong Refrigerators - zaynzk - 05-14-2021 S L A N D E R RE: New York GMs Prejudiced Against Strong Refrigerators - zaynzk - 05-14-2021 @Augustus von Heimlich I need your help to defend me from this SLANDER RE: New York GMs Prejudiced Against Strong Refrigerators - zeagle1 - 05-14-2021 Down with Zayn, long live the fridge RE: New York GMs Prejudiced Against Strong Refrigerators - TheRocheLimit - 05-14-2021 Double media isn't enough for this. RE: New York GMs Prejudiced Against Strong Refrigerators - TubbyTim69 - 05-14-2021 Are any of us really surprised though? RE: New York GMs Prejudiced Against Strong Refrigerators - Frostbite - 05-14-2021 BUSTa Baxter RE: New York GMs Prejudiced Against Strong Refrigerators - UltimateYeehaw - 05-14-2021 Viva la refrigerator