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+---- Thread: *Week 0 Power Rankings Power Rankings (/showthread.php?tid=5809)
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*Week 0 Power Rankings Power Rankings - HalfEatenOnionBagel - 11-01-2017
It seems like the popular thing to do right now is some good old Week 0 power rankings, so I thought why not take a look at these power rankings and see which ones are the best of the best with Week 0 power ranking power rankings. Yeah, we’re going real deep here.
6. “My Week 0 Power Rankings” by @pulsedk
This guy doesn’t try to hide that he did all of these rankings by himself with no expert advice, no real statistical evidence and no common sense. Plus, he didn’t try to share his payout with anyone so you know this was a one man job.
(10-31-2017, 12:22 PM)pulsedk Wrote:I blame auto correct for any and all typos.Pretty sure autocorrect is not to blame for this poor excuse of a power ranking with so many problems and no arrows to show movement up or down. SAD.
5. Bleacher Report
Bleacher Report is absolute garbage and I just have to take a moment to give my thoughts on this. I’m not even taking about their actual power rankings now, which will always have my Detroit Lions too low (not that we don’t deserve it), but the website itself is just terrible. If I wanted to flip through slideshows all day, I would do my actual job. But, for sports information I just want the facts. Bleacher report is to sports what Buzzfeed is to news, or something like that. I already had to give up on ESPN, the CNN of sports, so maybe it’s time to turn to Fox Sports, the Fox News of sports.
4. “The Noble Rankings, Shit Just Got Real” by @ADwyer87
Probably my hottest take not having this in last place because as it stands right now, anything associated with Noble is absolutely nuclear. But, like nuclear waste, sometimes you get superpowers if you play in it and you’re really lucky, so I’ll take my chances. The spirit of these rankings is very much in line with the general spirit of the league, which is nonsense, and the general spirit of offseason reporting, which is nonsense, and the general spirit of hot takes, which is nonsense. I mean shit is literally in the (sub)title of the article, so as a reader you have already given consent to the author to spew absolute garbage upon you clicking on the article (kind of reminds you of bleacher report eh?). However, I refuse to put these rankings any higher, maybe because ADwyer didn’t put enough effort into them or maybe because I’m just upset he keeps winning Ultimuses (ultimi?) and denying us a chance to finally play with Jaylon Lee. Whatever it is, these are my rankings and that’s how it goes.
3. “Week 0 Power Rankings, Hot Taker is back” by @tlk742
The granddaddy of them all, I absolutely love tlk’s (not his real name) power rankings. The time he takes to do them, the clear organization and concise reporting and even the trademark delta symbol to show position changes. That’s right, arrow Unicode truthers, eat your heart out. Plus, unlike other rankings on this list we get this on a regular basis which is rare in this day and age. However, one thing that has started to bother me more and more about these rankings is the sense that none of these are hot takes. Unlike ADwyer who tells you his rankings are shit ahead of time, these rankings tell you that they’re hot takes, but then fail to provide any hot takes. Don’t get me wrong, I think they’re very well done and accurate, but if I wanted that I would just go to NFL.com, the BBC of sports, for my power rankings. All I’m asking for is a little more heat baby, it’s getting cold outside.
2. “Power Rankings, Some Said They Wanted Hotter, With Better Symbols, Er Delivers” by @ErMurazor
Everything about these power rankings is fire. The symbols are amazing. Yes, I know they’re just the standard forum emojis or whatever we call them, but the way they are coordinated and organized here to convey a story and emotion surrounding each team is masterful. I don’t even have to read what is written about each team, which probably isn’t worth reading anyways, to know how the author feels about each team. That makes it perfect for both millenials, who are too busy trying to get more followers on Insta and basically talk in emojese anyways, and people like myself who appreciate taking the time to read and understand a well thought out and complex argument. But, the biggest reason why I have these power rankings so high on my list is because of their guaranteed accuracy. Written by the puppetmaster simmer Er himself, who already has simulated a decade’s worth of seasons to his liking, we know that his knowledge of each team’s performance is infallible. For that reason, I have to value these rankings quite highly.
1. “Week 0 Power Rankings Power Rankings” by @HalfEatenOnionBagel
I mean what did you expect, these are my power rankings after all and my therapist says I need to be more confident so I suppose this is as good a first step as any. Not only are these rankings extremely accurate, but they also use fact based logic and reasoning in order to come to a consensus. To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to appreciate power rankings power rankings. The process and reasoning are extremely subtle and without a solid grasp of theoretical football (ie. Simulated football), most of it would just go over your head. A wise man told me that once and I have taken it to heart ever since in order to create some of the highest quality rankings that I could and I think at this point it is apparent that they deserve to be at the top of this list and many others.
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Thank you for taking the time to indulge me and read through my first and last ever Week 0 power rankings power rankings. I hope that you not only enjoyed them, but also learned something along the way. Please like and subscribe if you have not already done so and feel free to leave any feedback in the comments. Oh and by the way, that wise man who taught me everything I know about power rankings: Albert Einstein.
((Ready for grading))
Edit: Ok, $1000 to @pulsedk so he will stop complaining
*Week 0 Power Rankings Power Rankings - adam2552 - 11-01-2017
SNUBBED!! My power rankings didnt even get ranked.
*Week 0 Power Rankings Power Rankings - PDXBaller - 11-01-2017
Lists on lists on lists!!!
*Week 0 Power Rankings Power Rankings - HalfEatenOnionBagel - 11-01-2017
(11-01-2017, 10:07 AM)adam2552 Wrote:SNUBBED!! My power rankings didnt even get ranked.
Deadline for submission was 0600 EST. Perhaps I will revisit your's at some point in the future.
*Week 0 Power Rankings Power Rankings - tlk742 - 11-01-2017
@bovovovo we got a project to finish
*Week 0 Power Rankings Power Rankings - TheMemeMaestro - 11-01-2017
No shared Pay-out?
*Week 0 Power Rankings Power Rankings - pulsedk - 11-01-2017
Is this some sort of a sick joke? I typed my power rankings on my phone which should be worth some bonus points on it's own. Second, I get blamed for not sharing payout and then he doesn't share his payout. This list is a sham and we all know it.
(11-01-2017, 10:05 AM)HalfEatenOnionBagel Wrote:Edit: Ok, $1000 to @pulsedk so he will stop complaining
And people say complaining never accomplished anything.
*Week 0 Power Rankings Power Rankings - ErMurazor - 11-01-2017
Great analysis.
*Week 0 Power Rankings Power Rankings - HalfEatenOnionBagel - 11-01-2017
(11-01-2017, 11:23 AM)ErMurazor Wrote:Great analysis.
Thank you
*Week 0 Power Rankings Power Rankings - 124715 - 11-01-2017
(11-01-2017, 12:02 PM)pulsedk Wrote:Is this some sort of a sick joke? I typed my power rankings on my phone which should be worth some bonus points on it's own. Second, I get blamed for not sharing payout and then he doesn't share his payout. This list is a sham and we all know it.
And people say complaining never accomplished anything.
It's a troll to get money, my dear friend bagel has run his bank into the dirt.