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+---- Thread: *NSFL Draft Winners (/showthread.php?tid=8803)
*NSFL Draft Winners - Beaver - 05-23-2018
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606 words, x2 for quality draft media plsOk so now that the draft is over I've spent a lot of time and effort crunching the numbers and analyzing the various picks and trades that went down. The draft is the best, most effective way of acquiring talent and improving your team so a lot rides on the decisions general managers have to make. As always, what follows is nothing personal as I specifically set aside my own personal biases in order to provide a cold, analytical, purely objective point of view.
The biggest winner of this draft was obviously the New Orleans Second Line. Adding a Mongoose and a Penguin to a locker room that already contains a Beaver, a bunch of Crabs and Sloths, a Scorpion, a ton of Dogs, Ben's Cows, and a poopyfaced SNAKE means that Zoo Orleans has reached critical mass and instantly become favorites to win the championship. Like seriously, check out all the things the Second Line lead the league in:
1st in Animals
1st in Goodboyes
1st in Attractiveness
1st in Intelligence
1st in Bovosity
1st in Athleticism
1st in Wittiness
1st in Memeing
1st in Borks
1st in Cuties
1st in Health
1st in Wealth
1st in Humor
1st in Wisdom
1st in Taste
1st in Humbleness
And that's just a short list, if I wanted to I could've gone on for a full 600 words. So yeah, I don't want to belabor this point too much since I'm pretty sure everyone agrees that New Orleans won the draft so we really don't need to dwell on it. I wouldn't want to seem like I was rubbing it in because I'm sure the other teams are feeling pretty self conscious about this draft and definitely having some bouts of inadequacy when comparing themselves to New Orleans. Can't blame em either, I definitely would if I were in their position. So out of respect to all of them I'll cut this segment short.
Let's see, who else won? Ah yes, that would be me personally. As the league's foremost prognosticator, most astute observer, and submitter of the highest quality PTs it probably doesn't surprise anyone that I went a perfect 8 for 8 in my mock draft. I hope a lot of you decided to copy my submission after my final adjustment at 4:20 yesterday for those sweet, sweet TPE.
Another group of winners was William H. Harrison, Omar Wrong, and Vance Sachs because they get the honor of playing for the best, most awesome team in the league with the best, most awesome locker room and the best, most awesome GM. Very lucky for these studly young prospects to land in New Orleans.
Changing subjects, I'd definitely declare the Second Line defense a winner as well. Coming off a season in which they were sneaky decent but inconsistent they have now shored up their weaknesses on that side of the ball, getting two defensive linemen and a safety. They now have:
Vincent Sharpei, Julian O'Sullivan, and Brian Mills at linebacker
Joseph Askins, Fuego Wozy, Omar Wrong, and Vance Sachs on the defensive line
Vladimir Fyodorovich, William Henry Harrison, Terrell Brister, and some scrubbo in the secondary
So that concludes my broad, league-wide overview of draft winners from the Season 8 NSFL draft. I'm a very positive person so I don't like to highlight losers but if I'm on Orange County, San Jose, or Arizona I'm definitely concerned about potentially never winning the conference again. This is one of those seminal moments that might not seem like a historic moment at the time but 10 seasons from now when the league is debating rules to prevent another team from becoming such a dominant dynasty as New Orleans we will look back to this draft and appreciate it for its significance.
*NSFL Draft Winners - CDub2 - 05-23-2018
Quality
*NSFL Draft Winners - Supersquare04 - 05-24-2018
Based on how many memes I made in nsfl discord y'all can take 2nd in meming.