Hello everyone. Thank you all for coming out for the media availability. Now I have no idea why you guys would waste my time coming to see me because honestly, that is just pointless. Out of all players who did not get a chance to meet the media and you pick arguably the biggest snob in the National Sim Football League or in the history. If you guys did not know, I come from Toronto and the media there is completely cancerous and idiotic. The media in Portland were very good and they were my best friends and then I come to Baltimore and one word comes out of my mind thinking about you guys, a joke. You ask terrible questions and terrible topics which by the way is probably the reason for our past collapses and failures so thanks, guys. Now since I have no right to get asked questions, I will ask myself some questions so you guys can fuck off. Now how about our team?
We have a great team and arguably the greatest squad in football and probably one of the best in history. We got an elite quarterback in Blocksdale who is better than Boss now even though he cannot fuck off with the picks and sacks which we cannot even do. We got so good receivers and it is not even close to how good they are compared to other teams but I would rather not talk about it because I really miss passing the ball to them. Fuck offense, how about some defense. We got the best defense with Toivo and of course Valentine. But how about the duo of myself and Asipi because we both still hate each other's guts for some reason but we are a great and possibly the greatest defense duo in the history of NSFL.
Now now, hey shut up. You want to talk about our season so far and I knew you guys would as me that because you guys want to not only piss the fuck out of me but also want to know what the hell is happening. Well, I got the answer, I do not know. All I know is God is against us and someone from our team has not been praying a lot recently and needs to go to Church. Our offense has been there and special teams I do not know but our defense oh my god. The last 5 games, we have probably the worst defense ever and it has been complete shit. I have been garbage so far with fewer tackles and it is so funny that I cannot buy a god damn interception. You know, what fuck you all. I hate talking to you guys, You guys are my nightmare and I do not appreciate that. My name is Austin Roenick and I won the best rookie defensive player and I deserve respect.
We have a great team and arguably the greatest squad in football and probably one of the best in history. We got an elite quarterback in Blocksdale who is better than Boss now even though he cannot fuck off with the picks and sacks which we cannot even do. We got so good receivers and it is not even close to how good they are compared to other teams but I would rather not talk about it because I really miss passing the ball to them. Fuck offense, how about some defense. We got the best defense with Toivo and of course Valentine. But how about the duo of myself and Asipi because we both still hate each other's guts for some reason but we are a great and possibly the greatest defense duo in the history of NSFL.
Now now, hey shut up. You want to talk about our season so far and I knew you guys would as me that because you guys want to not only piss the fuck out of me but also want to know what the hell is happening. Well, I got the answer, I do not know. All I know is God is against us and someone from our team has not been praying a lot recently and needs to go to Church. Our offense has been there and special teams I do not know but our defense oh my god. The last 5 games, we have probably the worst defense ever and it has been complete shit. I have been garbage so far with fewer tackles and it is so funny that I cannot buy a god damn interception. You know, what fuck you all. I hate talking to you guys, You guys are my nightmare and I do not appreciate that. My name is Austin Roenick and I won the best rookie defensive player and I deserve respect.
