(S9) - PT 4 - Movie Pitch

[Beaver]

Wow I mean I've been waiting for this moment for years and years I always knew ever since Connor Tanner forced ~TOTALLY ACTIVE AND CONTRIBUTING MEMBERS OF THE LEAGUE~ to retire against their will but somehow I was immune to his blackmail, cajoling, coercing, bamboozling, flim flammery, and general scumbaginess that there would be a movie about my life you know because I'm like Harry Potter "the Legion that lived" maybe that will be the name of the movie idk seems pretty swaggy to me but yeah so this movie about my life would definitely be centered around how Tanner mass retired the Las Vegas Legion except for me I was the only survivor and then our general pain and suffering as a team trying to rebuild before finally becoming a contender and upsetting the Otters in the playoffs just to lose to the stinky ghosts and then hopefully the part of the movie about Season 9 will be the emotional climax as Blackford Oakes finally becomes a champion after enduring so much hardship in his life in fact I think the way it plays out is New Orleans faces Baltimore in the Ultimus and Baltimore gets a massive lead at halftime like 21-0 or something and Asipi is talking all sorts of outlandish shit like suggesting he's a good defensive lineman and the stream has to be delayed because slm's furious masturbation was shaking the video too much and then New Orleans comes storming back and wins and the entire league laughs and celebrates as the Hawks choke yet again I mean that's the most poetic thing possible right so it has to happen.

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275 words