To Dick Cheese Jr I gave a pair of cleats with dicks on them so that everyone would know who they belong to and never have the desire to steal them.
To Jonathon Towers I gift a new car so that he'll stop showing up to practice late.
To Roger Batoff I gift a handkerchief to wipe away his tears when I lock him down in the NSFL.
To Thorian Skarsgard I gift a gold star so that at least he'll get one award in his career.
To Thomas Clark I gift a bed frame that will actually support him.
To Kyle Frost I gift a soccer ball because he doesn't really get to play football with us.
To Andreas Metaxas I gift a journal to remind himself to not make another QB.
To Jonathon Towers I gift a new car so that he'll stop showing up to practice late.
To Roger Batoff I gift a handkerchief to wipe away his tears when I lock him down in the NSFL.
To Thorian Skarsgard I gift a gold star so that at least he'll get one award in his career.
To Thomas Clark I gift a bed frame that will actually support him.
To Kyle Frost I gift a soccer ball because he doesn't really get to play football with us.
To Andreas Metaxas I gift a journal to remind himself to not make another QB.
