1) IT IS OUR TIME THIS (NEXT) YEAR - Can be completed anytime
Time to shill for the Home Team. The Arizona Outlaws should have been the Ultimus champions this season. What’s that? You’re not buying? Okay, sure, that’s fair. But next season… probably not buying that, either, huh? Yeah, I don’t blame you. But the season after the next, teams better watch out.
Despite trying to trade away literally every non-kicker player with over 600 TPE and somehow still only having enough cap space left to afford rubber garbage cans in the place of offensive linemen, Arizona will arise from the rumble that is its own management decisions and somehow stumble into mediocrity. And then, from there, stumble again into a successful season. Of course, you can point out things like the team’s use of Linebackers as second-rate defensive linemen or how the team doesn’t even have a QB. But we all know QBs are overrated. And besides this is S16 we’re talking about. Football is an ever-evolving game. In 2 seasons, teams might not even need QBs anymore. It’s all hypothetical at this point. Anything can happen. And, of all the things that could possibly happen, this is one of them. (207)
2) SPOTLIGHT ON THE YOUTH - Can be completed anytime
Alright, I managed to simultaneously shill for the home team and also roast my own GMing decisions. In comparison to that, paying credit to a young, deserving player should be pretty easy.
Now, everyone’s going to obviously go with the winning team. I prefer to go the other way and highlight a young player from the losing team, but everyone knows the Yeti don’t actually have any young players, so someone from OCO it is. Personally, I’d like to highlight Thorian Skarsgard. Because, in addition to having a badass name that sounds like he drinks vodka out of his enemies’ skulls, the man is a complete team player. He started out as a Linebacker and position changed to Defensive Lineman. That literally is only supposed to work the other way. DEs and DTs only exist to make LBs look good. Look at Arizona in S11. We had 3 awesome D-linemen. All of our stats sucked and Alex Selich looked like a damn god. Meanwhile, the guy who’s named after a god decides, hey, I want to make other people look good. That’s pretty damn cool. Obviously, as any GM knows from testing, D-Line can make or break a team. Their impact is huge. But it’s also kind of invisible. So, props to Thor for doing good by his guys and being a team player. This is a move that probably not only helped OCO win the big game, but also helped them reach the game. Afterall, we were all blown away when they overcame the odds and defeated the 12-2 Sabercats en route to the championship. Moves like this are a big reason for that. (288)
3)PRE-GAME or...POST-GAME - Can be completed before or after based on choice
Well, post, of course. It’s always better to give your opinion on things after they happen. If you try to talk about things before they happen, you might slip up and make people realize you don’t know what’s going on. Hindsight is 20/20. And, in hindsight, we’re all geniuses. FYI I totally called the Otters winning this year. Don’t go back and check my predictions. You can just take my word on it.
As for the Ultimus, it was really, close competitive game! I’m not even joking. It was actually fun to watch. It got lop-sided at points, but never stayed out of reach for long. Colorado even scored first blood, kicking a field goal to pick up the only points in the 1st Quarter. OCO then responded with a field goal of their own in the 2nd quarter and a TD to follow it. With 2 minutes left, Colorado rallied itself with the heart of a champion. But not like an active champion in their prime. More like a champion that won the big one 30 years ago and now eats 5 donots every day for breakfast. So, not exactly the best heart. But a heart nonetheless. They don’t score a TD, but they do get the FG. Solid C+ effort. OCO is up 10-6 at half.
Now, you might think Colorado would be hyped up for a TD to start the 3rd quarter and possibly swing this thing in their favor. And they did their best to ensure that a TD happened. Unfortunately, they forgot they were on defense, which pushed the Otters’ lead from 4 to 11. Ouch. But then Colorado remembered how to football and picked a big drive that resulted in Howard Miller scoring a huge TD. And not normal huge. Like huge with air quotations and in a way that sounds like it starts with a Y instead of an H. Big time huge. Of course, OCO has also superhumans for RBs, so Seer Zephyrous literally just picked up the ball and pushed it in the end zone to take back that 11 point lead, which is unfortunate, but I guess that’s what we get from a guy named after the wind. Now, with only 8 minutes left, Colorado taps into that old, retired champion heart and once again send Howard Miller to the end zone.
Now, with 1 minute left and with them only being down 3 points, the Yeti kick an onside kick. It’s risky, but what other choice do they have? Against all odds, they recover the ball. The crowd goes crazy. They have a chance to score a FG and tie it up. But Howard Miller is a man possessed. He doesn’t even know what a FG is. So, with five defenders at his flank, he catches the ball and takes it down the field to win the game for the Yeti. They did it! The all in strategy worked! The Yeti are finally champions!
Wait a minute. Sorry. I’m checking my notes and it says the sim punted the ball. Sorry, Yeti. Grats, Otters? (538)
5) ENEMIES HAPPEN - Can be completed anytime.
You might notice I was going in order. Next up was something stupid like QB match-ups or some other irrelevant topic. And we already established in the first question that QB isn’t an important position, anyway. You might as well compare to FBs. Or kick returners. Or pineapples. No one’s going to bother reading it, anyway.
So, instead… enemies happen. Wait, no. Let me use my tough voice… ENEMIES HAPPEN!!! This time, on March 6th inside a STEEL CAGE!!! $20 gets you a whole seat, but you’ll only need the edge. And, for some reason, it seems like everyone hates the Sabercats. I’m not fully why, but I already gave the Yeti a hard time and they made it to the championship, so they’re obviously better than the Sabercats. These guys did go 12-2, so maybe everyone else is just jealous. Then again, looking at that record, no one is probably more jealous of the regular season Sabercats than the play-off Sabercats are.
That said, since no one seems to know exactly why we hate them, I decided to do some digging. And I learned a few things that changed my mind. You’d think that the Sabercats have brought this upon themselves, but in actuality, it’s far from their fault. It’s just their nature. For example, OCO and SJS are clear rivals, but Sabercats and Otters are natural enemies. Like Hawks and Sabercats! Or Yeti and Sabercats! Or Wraiths and Sabercats! Or Sabercats and Sabercats! Damn Sabercats! They ruined the Sabercats!
I hope they don’t read this. I may have just made an enemy for life. (286)
Time to shill for the Home Team. The Arizona Outlaws should have been the Ultimus champions this season. What’s that? You’re not buying? Okay, sure, that’s fair. But next season… probably not buying that, either, huh? Yeah, I don’t blame you. But the season after the next, teams better watch out.
Despite trying to trade away literally every non-kicker player with over 600 TPE and somehow still only having enough cap space left to afford rubber garbage cans in the place of offensive linemen, Arizona will arise from the rumble that is its own management decisions and somehow stumble into mediocrity. And then, from there, stumble again into a successful season. Of course, you can point out things like the team’s use of Linebackers as second-rate defensive linemen or how the team doesn’t even have a QB. But we all know QBs are overrated. And besides this is S16 we’re talking about. Football is an ever-evolving game. In 2 seasons, teams might not even need QBs anymore. It’s all hypothetical at this point. Anything can happen. And, of all the things that could possibly happen, this is one of them. (207)
2) SPOTLIGHT ON THE YOUTH - Can be completed anytime
Alright, I managed to simultaneously shill for the home team and also roast my own GMing decisions. In comparison to that, paying credit to a young, deserving player should be pretty easy.
Now, everyone’s going to obviously go with the winning team. I prefer to go the other way and highlight a young player from the losing team, but everyone knows the Yeti don’t actually have any young players, so someone from OCO it is. Personally, I’d like to highlight Thorian Skarsgard. Because, in addition to having a badass name that sounds like he drinks vodka out of his enemies’ skulls, the man is a complete team player. He started out as a Linebacker and position changed to Defensive Lineman. That literally is only supposed to work the other way. DEs and DTs only exist to make LBs look good. Look at Arizona in S11. We had 3 awesome D-linemen. All of our stats sucked and Alex Selich looked like a damn god. Meanwhile, the guy who’s named after a god decides, hey, I want to make other people look good. That’s pretty damn cool. Obviously, as any GM knows from testing, D-Line can make or break a team. Their impact is huge. But it’s also kind of invisible. So, props to Thor for doing good by his guys and being a team player. This is a move that probably not only helped OCO win the big game, but also helped them reach the game. Afterall, we were all blown away when they overcame the odds and defeated the 12-2 Sabercats en route to the championship. Moves like this are a big reason for that. (288)
3)PRE-GAME or...POST-GAME - Can be completed before or after based on choice
Well, post, of course. It’s always better to give your opinion on things after they happen. If you try to talk about things before they happen, you might slip up and make people realize you don’t know what’s going on. Hindsight is 20/20. And, in hindsight, we’re all geniuses. FYI I totally called the Otters winning this year. Don’t go back and check my predictions. You can just take my word on it.
As for the Ultimus, it was really, close competitive game! I’m not even joking. It was actually fun to watch. It got lop-sided at points, but never stayed out of reach for long. Colorado even scored first blood, kicking a field goal to pick up the only points in the 1st Quarter. OCO then responded with a field goal of their own in the 2nd quarter and a TD to follow it. With 2 minutes left, Colorado rallied itself with the heart of a champion. But not like an active champion in their prime. More like a champion that won the big one 30 years ago and now eats 5 donots every day for breakfast. So, not exactly the best heart. But a heart nonetheless. They don’t score a TD, but they do get the FG. Solid C+ effort. OCO is up 10-6 at half.
Now, you might think Colorado would be hyped up for a TD to start the 3rd quarter and possibly swing this thing in their favor. And they did their best to ensure that a TD happened. Unfortunately, they forgot they were on defense, which pushed the Otters’ lead from 4 to 11. Ouch. But then Colorado remembered how to football and picked a big drive that resulted in Howard Miller scoring a huge TD. And not normal huge. Like huge with air quotations and in a way that sounds like it starts with a Y instead of an H. Big time huge. Of course, OCO has also superhumans for RBs, so Seer Zephyrous literally just picked up the ball and pushed it in the end zone to take back that 11 point lead, which is unfortunate, but I guess that’s what we get from a guy named after the wind. Now, with only 8 minutes left, Colorado taps into that old, retired champion heart and once again send Howard Miller to the end zone.
Now, with 1 minute left and with them only being down 3 points, the Yeti kick an onside kick. It’s risky, but what other choice do they have? Against all odds, they recover the ball. The crowd goes crazy. They have a chance to score a FG and tie it up. But Howard Miller is a man possessed. He doesn’t even know what a FG is. So, with five defenders at his flank, he catches the ball and takes it down the field to win the game for the Yeti. They did it! The all in strategy worked! The Yeti are finally champions!
Wait a minute. Sorry. I’m checking my notes and it says the sim punted the ball. Sorry, Yeti. Grats, Otters? (538)
5) ENEMIES HAPPEN - Can be completed anytime.
You might notice I was going in order. Next up was something stupid like QB match-ups or some other irrelevant topic. And we already established in the first question that QB isn’t an important position, anyway. You might as well compare to FBs. Or kick returners. Or pineapples. No one’s going to bother reading it, anyway.
So, instead… enemies happen. Wait, no. Let me use my tough voice… ENEMIES HAPPEN!!! This time, on March 6th inside a STEEL CAGE!!! $20 gets you a whole seat, but you’ll only need the edge. And, for some reason, it seems like everyone hates the Sabercats. I’m not fully why, but I already gave the Yeti a hard time and they made it to the championship, so they’re obviously better than the Sabercats. These guys did go 12-2, so maybe everyone else is just jealous. Then again, looking at that record, no one is probably more jealous of the regular season Sabercats than the play-off Sabercats are.
That said, since no one seems to know exactly why we hate them, I decided to do some digging. And I learned a few things that changed my mind. You’d think that the Sabercats have brought this upon themselves, but in actuality, it’s far from their fault. It’s just their nature. For example, OCO and SJS are clear rivals, but Sabercats and Otters are natural enemies. Like Hawks and Sabercats! Or Yeti and Sabercats! Or Wraiths and Sabercats! Or Sabercats and Sabercats! Damn Sabercats! They ruined the Sabercats!
I hope they don’t read this. I may have just made an enemy for life. (286)
![[Image: welcomeBraxtonEast.png?ex=677e7b1f&is=67...y=lossless]](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/357281973594619905/1319836335887880192/welcomeBraxtonEast.png?ex=677e7b1f&is=677d299f&hm=c03a86226787bfca2f2d024eb23c800c6f1ecd647532e0419a9d0218636d40e4&=&format=webp&quality=lossless)
![[Image: baby-yoda-by-jango-sm.png]](https://i.ibb.co/1rgfYXP/baby-yoda-by-jango-sm.png)
Thanks to Jangorhino for the sig.
