(S16) - Ultimus Week

[PersonMann]

PBE PT

8) Strategies
Since I just got to the league very recently, my team has only one major thing to do for next season to guarantee that they will win some more games. That is, of course, to play me. I bring to any team that I am on an explosive energy that is unmatched by any other player in the league. Now, you may be thinking: well that is just not true, there are plenty of running backs in this league that are much better than you are and it is fairly narcissistic to not acknowledge them as providing ample value to their respective teams. And yes, that may be true but I am not mentioning them in this written piece because I do not know their names. I am going off of what I know about this league, and that is absolutely nothing. In my frame of reference there are like three players in this entire league that I know and one of them is me. What I know about myself is that I will be a very high earner in this league which provides value to any team that I am on. So if my team wants to win more games next year, all they have to do is play me.

14) That Magic Moment
I will admit to it right now, I was not able to watch the playoffs due to the timing and the fact that I am not in the US right now. But I did watch part of the stream for my DSFL team and I was watching for one special moment in particular. I scored my first career touchdown! I believe that it was a three yard rush from the one and only Jake Utler that did the job for the San Antonio Marshals. In my first ever professional game I had 12 carries for 61 yards and a touchdown. Everyone here knows just how special it is to watch your player and it is especially special watching your player for the first time. Although the announcer claimed that I stole the TD from my teammate given that he had gotten us close to the endzone, it was still cool to hear my name be called. My touchdown ended up being the only one that my team would score in that game and in our LR they ended up giving me the game ball for that effort. Although I just joined the league, this was a great start to my career. Aside from getting the win, I could not have asked for a better start for my player.

15) Going to Disneyland!
Well, I did not watch the game so I only know what I have heard and that would mean that the Ultimus MVP was Waldo. I believe that he caught something like 3TDs which is superb to say the least. I do not really know Waldo that well, other than the fact that he is also a Cubs fan, but I would have to guess that he would go all out on his trip to Disneyland. Even though he is a professional football player, he would probably stand in line for all the rides. And I am talking about ALL the rides. I do not even know if he would take his family with him to Disneyland since they might just slow him down on his quest to ride all the rides. The only thing that we know that he will bring for sure is his Ultimus MVP trophy. You already know that he is going to flaunt that sucker around all damn day. When he is at Disneyland, Waldo will run into some fans who will want his autograph. Knowing Waldo, he will tell them to get out of the way so he can cut them in line for the rollercoaster thingies or whatever it is that Disneyland has.