(S17) - PT3 - AB is crazy

[Baron1898]

Ok. I want out of Yellowknife. The obvious first move to make is to change my name to Rose Jenkins Jr. This will get Ryan Leaf Jr. fired up and cause some instant drama already. I’ll go up to him in practice and sack him for no reason. When he tries to fight me, I will call him a true blood Kansas City Coyote and rile him up even more. I will then post a bunch of two sentence media articles stating that I have been traded to the Austin Copperheads (definitely my destination) without trade talks having ever been initiated beforehand. My GMs will probably try to sit me down and talk to me, and I’ll agree to apologize. I will do so over twitter with a fake NSFL Leaks Volume II account, on which I will call Daybe and Big Red angry lumberjacks. They will try to suspend me, to which I will yell “who is gonna rush for this” while bunting a football into the face of Cooter Bigsby. I’ll call him Booger Bigsby on social media. If they force me to suit up for a game, I will actively give balls to the other team and sabotage the Wraiths offense. While not on the field, I will do some chair kicking and spill the Gatorade everywhere while forming a Gimmy worship circle. Finally, I will be released into the free agency market, where I aggressively pursue the Austin Copperheads for a mega deal worth $10M per year.