(S17) - PT3 - AB is crazy

[soppychico]

Well, I feel like this means I gotta 1up AB. That might be harder than making it onto a NSFL team. First off, I’d have to make a great reason as to why I don’t have to practice or play at all. I’d join a cult like religion. And unfortunately in this cult, I am not allowed to wear any clothes besides my jersey. Secondly, it would go against my religion to leave any loved ones apart. That means I gotta have my whole family with me, plus a few friends, but not Mike. Fuck you, Mike. And just for extra funsies, I gotta see my voodoo guy every morning and that will take up most of my morning. So, now I’m showing up to the facility a few hours late, dressed like Winnie the Pooh, just a shirt and dong hanging freely, and I have my entire entourage with me. It’s only around 10-12 people, I’m not very popular. BUT I am worth the headache to the team. So they will NOT cut me. They will try everything they can to make me happy because, like Antonio Brown, I immediately make the offense better. So I gotta follow his recipe for disaster/success. I need to fight someone. I need to fight someone that it’d make no sense and would be immediate grounds for dismissal. I see our QB and head coach talking some Make-a-Wish kid so there’s extra cameras today. Oh boy this is the perfect chance. I get a running start and jump as high as I can. I get both of my legs into the air and level with my head and I drop kick this stupid idiot make-a-wish kid right in his chest. That’ll do it. I bet as soon as I get out of jail, I’ll be free. Free to sign with whoever I want.