(S17) - PT3 - AB is crazy

[br0_0ker]

I can't imagine I would ever want to leave Baltimore since they have the absolute best locker room culture, but if for some reason I wanted out, it would be a pretty simple task to accomplish. First, I would position switch to like a Kicker or Punter or something useless, so that my absence would have the maximum immediate impact to their skill positions and I wouldn't need to wait for any contract or processing approval before I got the boot. Then, I would redistribute all of my TPE to attributes that do not help with kicking, so like blocking and throwing. Secondly, I would begin my own line of men's schlong holders, sorta like yoga pants but for men and it would clearly outline your junk. But not the actual, in-real-life version of your junk, no this would be like an accentuated, idealistic version of your junk, it just outlines like the base or something, but you'd have this snake-like apparatus hanging from your crotch down to your ankle (to disguise for the shorty-schlongers, gotta look out). I'd wear it all the time, and to press conferences. Eventually y'all would get sick of that, or maybe not. If those things don't work, I'd have consensual relations with our GM's wife/husband/SO and post the video to social media. If for some reason this was not good enough to get canned, I really don't know what I'd do. Probably just retire.