09-19-2017, 11:40 PM
(This post was last modified: 09-19-2017, 11:46 PM by BoltyMcSpeedy.)
Buster Mimes here on behalf of Buster Mimes' Agents and grocery to share some information regarding my client, Current Otter and the Wraiths biggest mistake, #31 Erlich Burnsman, your current league-leading touchdown scorer. It is well known my client is a huge Gecko enthusiast, believing they bring him good luck.
What I am sharing with the league is ACTUAL EVIDENCE supporting the NCAA's claim against my client #31 Erlich Burnsman in the case regarding his alleged (gecko) blood doping. I feel safe sharing this information with the league because i feel my client will benefit enough for it... plus, i'm not so sure he can read so he'll never know.
The following is a transcription from footage shot from a security camera inside an Austin area pet store which my client is accused of breaking into. The footage shows my client... accessing a large front window in order to enter the building after it had closed. He was late picking up his latest... shipment... of pets.
Burnsman- singing
"Geckos are my life. geckos are so small and great. why can't Geckos be my wife? I sneak them all on all my dates.
Geckos inside me; Please, dont get it twisted, geckos and me are like brother and sister.
Wait! let me pause incase you missed it. Geckos and me are like a party in a twister.
Stop! Drop! and Roll with the Burns-man
Singing songs, gonna get me my geckos man
You know i need that blood and need it bad
Just open em up and squeeze out all the rad
JUICE, JUICE, SQUEEZE OUT ALL THE RAD JUICE, JUICE WHERES IT AT I NEED IT BAD THAT JUICE, JUICE, EVERYONE TOGETHER NOW, JUICE, JUICE. GIVE IT TO ME, GIVE IT TO ME.
Geckos on their knees; Please, dont get it twisted, geckos and me are like brother and sister.
Wait! let me pause incase you missed it. Geckos and me are like a party in a twister.
Oh.. there yall are"
As you can see, my client takes his Lucky charms VERY SERIOUSLY. He names and numbers them all. Ive seen his graveyard. I want to make it clear that my client #31 Erlich Burnsman, your league-leading touchdown machine and most definitely not a Wraith, has NOT BEEN FOUND GUILTY of ANY wrongdoing. This is just the story of a man being judged because he is a little different... and because tests showed a little geck-geck blood in his system. NOTHING MORE
We hope this sufficiently supplies the league with the information it desired in regard to my clients good luck charms.
All hail the Otters
-Buster Mimes rep Erlich Burnsman
What I am sharing with the league is ACTUAL EVIDENCE supporting the NCAA's claim against my client #31 Erlich Burnsman in the case regarding his alleged (gecko) blood doping. I feel safe sharing this information with the league because i feel my client will benefit enough for it... plus, i'm not so sure he can read so he'll never know.
The following is a transcription from footage shot from a security camera inside an Austin area pet store which my client is accused of breaking into. The footage shows my client... accessing a large front window in order to enter the building after it had closed. He was late picking up his latest... shipment... of pets.
Burnsman- singing
"Geckos are my life. geckos are so small and great. why can't Geckos be my wife? I sneak them all on all my dates.
Geckos inside me; Please, dont get it twisted, geckos and me are like brother and sister.
Wait! let me pause incase you missed it. Geckos and me are like a party in a twister.
Stop! Drop! and Roll with the Burns-man
Singing songs, gonna get me my geckos man
You know i need that blood and need it bad
Just open em up and squeeze out all the rad
JUICE, JUICE, SQUEEZE OUT ALL THE RAD JUICE, JUICE WHERES IT AT I NEED IT BAD THAT JUICE, JUICE, EVERYONE TOGETHER NOW, JUICE, JUICE. GIVE IT TO ME, GIVE IT TO ME.
Geckos on their knees; Please, dont get it twisted, geckos and me are like brother and sister.
Wait! let me pause incase you missed it. Geckos and me are like a party in a twister.
Oh.. there yall are"
As you can see, my client takes his Lucky charms VERY SERIOUSLY. He names and numbers them all. Ive seen his graveyard. I want to make it clear that my client #31 Erlich Burnsman, your league-leading touchdown machine and most definitely not a Wraith, has NOT BEEN FOUND GUILTY of ANY wrongdoing. This is just the story of a man being judged because he is a little different... and because tests showed a little geck-geck blood in his system. NOTHING MORE
We hope this sufficiently supplies the league with the information it desired in regard to my clients good luck charms.
All hail the Otters
-Buster Mimes rep Erlich Burnsman
