Everyone knows the NSFL doesn't pay it's players enough to survive. Monopoly money only goes so far.
Mat Akselsen has a way around that, car salesman. You may all laugh but this is a time honored tradition dating all the way back to 2014 when suspended fantasy football megastar, Josh Gordon, worked as a car salesman while away from the NFL.
It's a pretty tough gig compared to the NSFL, Akselsen wakes up at 5 am every morning, makes his covfefe and breakfast, and heads down to the store to get the jump on the soccer moms before they head for their afternoon poon session with their other lovers. Anyway, he's gotta look up all the cars in the lot and find out which ones are going to break soonest and get rid of them. Can't have a broken down car in the lot, not good for business and it costs money to fix it. Probably better to just pass that off to the consumer. Checking for issues requires kicking the tires, literally and basically banging around under the hood until something breaks or it all holds steady. Akselsen is a football player, not a mechanic, if it starts it's good to go.
Pricing? That's all up to the program on the little computer in his office. He just sells and he doesn't take no for an answer. He even once made Jayce Tuck buy a Yugo, even though he couldn't fit into it. They had to call a tow truck to haul it out of the lot to Tuck's house. At Tuck's expense of course, good business and all that.
Note: @ErMurazor I am delirious at work and have no idea what the fuck I wrote but it's more than 200 words and I just don't have the energy today.
Mat Akselsen has a way around that, car salesman. You may all laugh but this is a time honored tradition dating all the way back to 2014 when suspended fantasy football megastar, Josh Gordon, worked as a car salesman while away from the NFL.
It's a pretty tough gig compared to the NSFL, Akselsen wakes up at 5 am every morning, makes his covfefe and breakfast, and heads down to the store to get the jump on the soccer moms before they head for their afternoon poon session with their other lovers. Anyway, he's gotta look up all the cars in the lot and find out which ones are going to break soonest and get rid of them. Can't have a broken down car in the lot, not good for business and it costs money to fix it. Probably better to just pass that off to the consumer. Checking for issues requires kicking the tires, literally and basically banging around under the hood until something breaks or it all holds steady. Akselsen is a football player, not a mechanic, if it starts it's good to go.
Pricing? That's all up to the program on the little computer in his office. He just sells and he doesn't take no for an answer. He even once made Jayce Tuck buy a Yugo, even though he couldn't fit into it. They had to call a tow truck to haul it out of the lot to Tuck's house. At Tuck's expense of course, good business and all that.
Note: @ErMurazor I am delirious at work and have no idea what the fuck I wrote but it's more than 200 words and I just don't have the energy today.
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