(S3) - Ultimus Week

[cosbornballboy]

Offensive Comparison: When you look at the Liberty vs Hawks game, the two standout offensive weapons on each sideline are easy, for the Hawks: Trey Willie, the rookie phenom who took the league and the NSFC's secondaries by storm, and Fox North, a veteran who can light you up at any time on any given day. Fox North was easily expected to be the better receiver in this contest with his experience and talent, but it was Trey Willie walking away with a far more dominant performance. Looking at the statistics, Willie and North had similar receptions, with Willie at 5 and North at 4. But North only had 84 receiving yards and NO touchdowns, while Willie had 117 yards for 3, yes I said 3 touchdowns. Even more impressive was Willie doing all this while teammate Stormblessed caught 5 passes for 112 yards, even with no touchdowns, it says a lot about Trey's ability to make the most out of the touches he gets while Kyubee throws to a wide variety of his receivers. On top of THAT, Willie had 2 kick returns for 109 yards, one of them a 103-yard return for a touchdown. North definitely has the experience over Willie, but Trey Willie is a DANGEROUS weapon not to be underrated. (212 words)

Defensive Comparison: When you look at Jayce Tuck, he just screams, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHH" Literally. That is all he says. I shit you not. But when cheerleaders look at him, they say, "Jayce, Jayce, you're an ace, you should cum, on my face." This is the effect of the hardest-hitting, longest-dicked, rock-hard man in the league. When you make a yo mama joke, he shows you videos of him fucking your wife. My source on this? Ricardo Sandoval. "I don't even have a wife, but somehow he had a video of him fucking her..." How you block a man like this? You don't, you just let him rape your quarterback up the ass and apologize later, he'll understand. Pierno did. Kyubee did. Orosz did. Bronko did. Yes, I said Bronko, because Tuck even sacked his own QB, that's how good he is. What a beast. I will suck this man's dick any day of the week besides Sunday, cause that's when he uses it to tackle. He had 32 sacks this season. That's insane. Only a few people came near him, and one of them, Bjornsson, is a DE at DT, which fucks up the whole system and shouldn't be allowed without a position change, but we'll address that later. (207 words)

Bottom Half: There are only two teams anyone is going to want to talk about in this, and I'll give my two cents. Or rather four cents. The Legion and the Yeti. Why didn't the Legion make the playoffs? Well, sure they're an expansion team, but the Liberty were able to make it, so what the hell does expansion have to do with it? The underlying cause for the demise of the Legion's playoff chances lay in former GM Ravens Fan From Ontario's ineptitude and incompetence in leading his team, going inactive at times, only to return and displace fill-in GMs that could have probably done better. That's why. Why didn't the Yeti make it? The Noble scandal as well as half the good players jumping ship by requesting trades and the other half being traded after saying they would test free agency and with one knee-jerk decision by the new management, the Yeti were worse than the Legion, although it didn't show in record, we all know it happened. Nicholas Pierno was called up to lead a flailing Yeti team and he couldn't get anything going, and Tweed suffered as all any team had to do against them was run stuff. (200 words)

New Talent: The most insignificant trade in the minds of some, the most significant in others. The Stormblessed trade. On that fateful day in the middle of the 3rd Season of the NSFL, the Baltimore Hawks traded with the Las Vegas Legion and acquired None Stormblessed, the Wide Receiver the Hawks hoped would contribute as an offensive threat to take them to the playoffs and let everyone around him get even more hyped. This theory was correct. Behind Trey Willie and Stormblessed, the Hawks locker room was more hyped than ever for their offensive attack going into the playoffs. This lead to the first round murder of the Philadelphia Liberty. The Hawks and Stormblessed were unable to get a win in the Ultimus against the Outlaws, but that was expected, so no harm done there. The point is, even an inactive player can do a world of good and a universe of great for a team even when that team has players filling those positions. Never underestimate the talent or ability of anyone in the NSFL, lest that come back to bite you later. With that said, the Outlaws are the team to beat, so any S4 trades will have to be much more well constructed for anyone to contend with them. (210 words)

Playoff Series MVP: Trey Willie was quite easily the MVP of the Conference Championship game of the NSFC between the underdogs, the Philadelphia Liberty, and the favorites, the Baltimore Hawks. The Baltimore Hawks absolutely dominated this game, winning easily, but the clear Most Valuable Player was Trey Willie, with 3 Receiving Touchdowns and 4 All-Purpose TDs. The fact of the matter is, while other players like Scrub Kyubee had good performances, Trey Willie was on the receiving end of the overwhelming majority of his touchdown passes. And on top of this, he ended up with another TD in the form of a kickoff return for a touchdown, hard to do against the Liberty special teams. And it is easy to forget that he is only a rookie this season. Trey Willie will be a massive force to be reckoned with on down the road, but even now he is dominating defenses in the NSFL left and right, and you can expect more to come later. The other players on his team that come near him are Matthew Vincent, who is retiring, Stormblessed, who is inactive, and Brian Wheat, who is young and new. This WR core is Trey Willie's now, and NSFL defensive backs are scared. (203 words)