This off-season has been one that Dustin Evans will never forget. He has been preparing his body for the coming season in a plethora of ways, but most notably he has taken to new, relatively untested methods.
Evans spent his summer in Florida where there are frequent rain storms. Finding nothing wrong with the idea, likely because he only has a 52 rated intelligence, Dustin tied a large metal beam to his back and attempted to outrun the lighting bolts cascading down from the sky. He was electrocuted several times, miraculously survived due to injuries being turned off, and was not rushed to the hospital.
Evans, looking to further increase his speed related measurables, tied a sturdy rope around his waist, attached the other end to the back of a stranger's car at a stop light, and attempted to use the speed of the car to motivate him into sprinting a full 55 miles per hour through a busy intersection. Again, Dustin was not injured, was not rushed to a nearby hospital to tend to what should have been fatal injuries, and is currently preparing his next method of speed related training. Season four looks like it's shaping up to be a climactic adrenaline rush full of healthy, forever unscathed athletes.
Evans spent his summer in Florida where there are frequent rain storms. Finding nothing wrong with the idea, likely because he only has a 52 rated intelligence, Dustin tied a large metal beam to his back and attempted to outrun the lighting bolts cascading down from the sky. He was electrocuted several times, miraculously survived due to injuries being turned off, and was not rushed to the hospital.
Evans, looking to further increase his speed related measurables, tied a sturdy rope around his waist, attached the other end to the back of a stranger's car at a stop light, and attempted to use the speed of the car to motivate him into sprinting a full 55 miles per hour through a busy intersection. Again, Dustin was not injured, was not rushed to a nearby hospital to tend to what should have been fatal injuries, and is currently preparing his next method of speed related training. Season four looks like it's shaping up to be a climactic adrenaline rush full of healthy, forever unscathed athletes.