(S4) - PT #3 - Cover Athlete

[kckolbe]

Getting Kevin Cushing on the cover of NSFLN Magazine was actually pretty easy, but since some pro football players aren’t as media savvy, we’ll break it down for you. Step One: Find a team that has made a major deal and insult them publicly. Allow comments to simmer. Wait until member of insulted organization takes offense to said insults and double down. Allow the insult/defense back and forth to evolve into a wager. Step Two: Propose a wager with stakes that have never before been seen in the history of the league. Step Three: Wait until wager is disrupted by allegations of illegal activity, leading to nullification of the wager. Step Four: Protest the nullification of the wager. Step Five: Continue protesting until approximately 125 words. Step Six: Make a public announcement (public displays are key) stating that you will personally decide how to handle the wager, taking power away from your own general manager, the opposing team’s general manager, and the entire league (note: must be relevant in the league to succeed). Step Seven: Facilitate a series of trades that lead to you being sent to a conference rival, who is also a playoff contender, that promotes you from #2 to #1. Piece of cake.