A rumor was recently released stating that Jordan Yates, running back for the San Jose Sabercats was arrested this weekend. Being arrested is unlike Yates, one of the most upstanding members of the National Simulation Football League. It has left us all guessing as to what happened: did he go on a cocaine fueled rage? Did he steal a car from someone? Did he break into a house? Did he rob a bank? Did he get in a fight and kill a man? Did he have a large amount of unpaid parking tickets? Did he owe the IRS a large amount? Was he behind on his child support for a kid he doesn't have? Did he abuse an animal or a domestic partner? Did he commit incest or polygamy? Was he found to be illegally going back and editing pists to give himself more TPE, soon after creating a multi in order to get rid of his debts? Did he illegally import kinder eggs, which are illegal in the United States? We ended up finding out that he was caught smoking the devil's lettuce. Hopefully, the dirty criminal is barred for life from our Christian league and burns in hell for his sins.
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