(S11) - PT 1 - Training Camp High jinx

[Bzerkap]

We've got a lot of young members on the squad this year, as the retool is in full swing. With this, there happen to have been a few more pranks than usual in training camp. There was the usual jock itch, car full of popcorn, venomous snake in the boot, but the pranks were a little more childish and wild from our young crop.

Josh Parker came in declaring himself the top dawg in the receiver room, so he had to be taken down a notch, even if the rest of the room consists of geriatric retiree Bailey Cook and a nice helping of dust on the other desks.

Well, the ageless OL decided to have a little fun as they don't like the braggadocios nature of receivers. They found the fat suit from the classic rom-com Shallow Hal and stuffed Parker's tiny frame into it. They taped his mouth shut and dressed him up in Melvin Mushing's uniform and trotted him out on to the field.

Drills began and in anticipation of this, Mushing had been taunting Skinner and pissing him off the whole week. Well, Skinner decided to get back at 'Mushing' this week and teed off on Mushing repeatedly. Coach was giving an earful to the lineman as well, swearing up a storm at the pathetic showing he was putting out, and screaming at the assistants to find Parker.

The practice ended with 'Mushing' on the ground unable to get up, probably a slight concussion. A good prank all around.

[infinitempg]

Despite the loss of many Yeti players this offseason, the Colorado locker room was as lively and energetic as ever. Many of these pranks were at the expense of players such as wide receiver Dwayne Aaron and defensive end Antonio Sandoval, who both announced at the beginning of preseason that this year was their last.

"At the beginning of training camp, I found a bag of hard candies in my locker," said Antonio Sandoval. "I thought that was weird. But I actually like lemon drops so it wasn't a problem - until the next day there were double the bags. And then double that the next day. Soon enough, I was drowning in lemon drops! I get that I'm old and retiring, but Haruki is older than I am!" Sandoval was able to turn this into a good deed, however, donating the lemon drops to a local township senior center.

Dwayne Aaron also found himself as the recipient of old jokes, as he received "mail" from AARP as well as pamphlets designed for senior citizens talking about the importance of a knee replacement. Aaron, who is considering pressing charges against the DSFL over his injury, still found the humor in it. "I've rattled on the guys a lot over my career here, it's only fair they get a few shots at the king before he's gone," Aaron said. "Besides. It gives me an excuse to go harder back at them!"

[Renrut]

Here in Baltimore, every one knows that Training Camp is the time of the year when they come to expect defensive end Childish Gambino to start handing out pranks. While many come to expect it, rarely is anyone ever not caught off guard when he launches his attacks. This year was much in the same, and no was spared.

“I found out Avon loves caramel apples.” Gambino said. “So what did I do? I peeled onions, dipped them bad boys in caramel and brought them in for the team. First offering...Avon. Dudes eyes lit up like a Christmas tree when he saw them, but his joy quickly turned into misery when he bit into that thing! Haha. Got eeeeem!”

“Everyone knows Verso uses a certain bathroom after practice. Everyone also knows he holds his shit until the last possible second. So I put Saran-wrap over the seat. He ran in there, dropped his drawers so fast, he never saw it coming. The scream tells me that. The fact when we walked in this man was cleaning his backside from water from the sink shows me I succeeded.”

“My favorite one has to be tying a plastic bat to Coaches ceiling fan in his office. When he turned it on, the momentum flung the bat off and he screamed like a little girl!”

[Hoeforest]

Now while everyone has been getting hype about the players who went near the top of the draft, there have been a number of players who managed to slip into the later rounds that are getting the most dedicated fans into the mood for a great draft class. One of those players is rookie wide receiver and last minute declarer Eddie Rainer, or better known by his legal name of Krispy Kreme. Rainer has been excellent acquisition by the Kansas City Coyotes after they drafted him with the thirty-third overall pick to compliment rookie quarterback Luke Boechler who they selected at 29th. The two players have already started to get along quite nicely, that was until Boechler pulled a prank on Rainer by soaking his Krispy Kreme costume in tea tree oil the night before a game. Rainer, being allergic to the oil put on the helmet and passed out in seconds, beginning to convulse on the floor like he was getting an absolute shocker. Boechler began to laugh until he realized his friend was in trouble which he remedied by getting the team's trainer who simply took of the mask and put Rainer on his side. Rainer spent the rest of the night in the stands.

[White Cornerback]

Written: Must include 200 words. As training camp begins there are bound to be some pranks and jokes by the players and coaches alike. Write about one such instance in training camp

The biggest prank Spike Crown ever played was not only drafting players from the S11 Draft, but also actually signing and approving them to enter the official team camp at the beginning of the NSFL season.

Bums like Antonio Summer who was picked with the 4th overall pick has no chance of surpassing future yellowknife and league hall of famer Thomas Carrasco who is no doubt the cornerstone of the Yellowknife franchise going forward.

Defensive line bum like Will Foster will never ever overtake spooky wraiths legend Ricky Maddox on the line, not now not ever.

Josh Parker who is now back to wide receiver has literally no chance of overtaking the leagues best wide receiver in 204 TPE Bailey Cook so he should probably just give up about now.

Dumb Wraith GM Spike Crown has likely drafted everybody here with hopes of being the next great meme team, an idea that''s as pathetic as his toupee that he wears.

Spike Crown likes to think he's pretty funny pulling off these cool hot pg 13 pranks as he attempts to build his budding youtube account from 13 subscribers to a possible high of 19 subscribers. He's ruining the actual training camp for legendary players like Dermot Lavelle who actually wants to win and not go 0-14.

The fact of the matter is that Yellowknife even having a S11 training camp is a big joke in itself.

[Leafer]

PBE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[ztevans]

After a disappointing DSFL season led to a third-round draft selection by the Yellowknife Wraiths, Will Foster has been eager to make an impression for his team. Sorely lacking depth on the defensive line, the Wraiths called up Foster rather than giving him another season of development on the DSFL’s Kansas City Coyotes. Foster has shown up to camp with fire in his belly, eager to earn playing time and show he belongs in the NSFL.

This has led to several tense moments between Foster and Wraiths quarterback Brad Pennington. Foster and Pennington have engaged in constant trash talk throughout camp, with Foster targeting Pennington on every rep and Pennington growing weary of the rookie’s eagerness, especially during a time of the year when avoiding contact or injuries is at a premium.

To have some fun at the rookie’s expense (while maybe also making a point to the eager youngster), Pennington brought a bubble bumper suit to camp one day and the coaching staff forced Foster to go through one workout in the large ball. It made for quite the hilarious spectacle as the 300-pound lineman bumbled and rolled through drills, but it was all in good fun and lightened the tension between the two.

[ADwyer87]

This training camp was nice. Last year, as the new kid on the block, I was the one getting hazed and messed with the whole time. But now, after being taken in the first round of the NSFL draft, getting a fat paycheck, and getting some locker room cred, I am the big man on campus, and that means I'm the one doing the hazing now.

First target of my hazing is, of course, rookie quarterback Johnson Cox III. If he's gonna be taking over for Christ, he better earn this spot! So naturally i hit him with the classic bengay in the jock strap trick right before practice. You could tell it hurt, man he fumbled a lot of snaps that day. But hey, he powered through, he's earned our respect.

Next, I had to get the rest of my receiver crew. As the only returning member of the squad, besides a TE who didnt do shit, Its up to me to captain this squad. We have some good young guys, but sometimes I gotta go ahead and show them who's the big man on campus. Coach said anyone who was late to our 10 AM practice would have to run laps till noon. So we let the two rookies come into the locker room, and locked them in! Finally an equipment manager came and let them out. Coach didn't make them run laps, but the laughs were still worth it.

[dropbear]

After the exodus of players over the offseason, with guys like Eli Kamaka, Ricky Ramero, Andre Bly Jr., and Norman Bagwell being traded, Johnathon Saint retiring, and Ryan Applehort leaving in free agency, returning to training camp has been a bit sombre. There was certainly a lack of the usual energy around the locker room, and everyone was a bit quiet out on the field, too.

Well, Micycle McCormick is stepping into some big shoes this season as he moves from kicker/punter to quarterback, and he’s certainly doing his best to live up to those expectations. Not only is he working extremely hard to be the best quarterback he can, he’s also trying to make up for the absence of six guys by being a total joker at training.

The other day he and Haruki Ishigawa came out squeezed into a single uniform, with a Hawaiian lei around both of their heads, saying that they were Kamaka and they’d been traded back to Colorado. Then when training started, McCormick just started rocketing the ball straight to Tillman for intercepts, and was saying stuff like, “See, it’s like Apple never left!”

McCormick’s really come out of his shell since the position switch and you just don’t know what to expect when you turn up each day. It’s actually sort of scary, as you’re worried you’re gonna be the butt of one of his jokes, but it’s certainly helped the guys move past the turnover of personnel.

[Dangles13]

When I first found out that I had been drafted to the San Antonio Marshalls, I was elated. I believe that they have the strongest leadership team in the league and their coaching is without compare. All of us rookies showed up on the first day of camp and got to know one another, or reintroduce ourselves to old friends that we knew before the DSFL. The first day was one of the best memories of my life and I hope to never forget that high of meeting the team and coaches. However, it was not all sunshine and rainbows. We were looking forward to the first game so we could show what we could do and we're asking the coaching staff where we would play and what strategies we would use and the like; much to our chagrin, they informed us that most of us would not play. We laughed about it for sure it had to be a joke, they couldn't just draft us and then NOT play us, that would be ludicrous. Yet, game day rolled around and still, the coaches were tight-lipped about where we would slot in and panic began to set in. How could we make the team if we didn't play? Alas, those bastards held us out.