(S17) - PT3 - AB is crazy

[Mavfatha]

PBE CW

[Eco]

Load the index, navigate to the rushing stats page and sort it by touchdowns. That is a good enough reason for me to quit this horrible team. Our whole offense relies on getting the run going but our RB1, who sucks hard by the way, cannot get god damn touchdowns! He only has 1 touchdown in 9 games! Do you know who has more touchdowns than him? Joliet Christ who is a quarterback! Dan Schneider who is a SAFETY! Our very own quarterback, Corvo Havran, is tied with him! This whole situation is ridiculous, I cannot be on the same team with this "no good for anything" running back. Either we trade him away or I AM OUT! I even picked the dude for my fantasy team, IN THE FUCKING FIRST ROUND! I could have picked Canton, Reed or Gump but no I believed in my team mate. I even told other people to pick him #1 overall. What a huge disappointment. I have been busting my ass, getting sacks and forced fumbles and this dude only runs for a few yards and that is it. WE NEED TOUCHDOWNS TO WIN GAMES BUDDDY! I don't care if your average yards per carry is very good. I don't care if your total yards is amazing. I WANNA SEE TOUCHDOWNS!

[Sermokala]

Crazy is just boring. Real crazy is being crazy to distract from your crazy in a crazy scheme to make people think your real crazy isn't as crazy as you are.

Start off with an island that you own. This isn't that hard actually, If you have 20 million or so in liquid cash you can sign a hold free agreement on an island, never pay tax, do whatever you want on the island. This island is now no longer really an island but shoreline on some foreign land like Thailand or some nonsense. That's that they want you to think, or that's what you want them to want you to think because you know what you're thinking and they're thinking so the thinking is to control the thinking so you control what people are thinking. Get people to think that you're in Thailand and then start getting people in Thailand to try and find you. But they won't find you because you're not actually in Thailand. You then sign a confidential streaming agreement with twitch or youtube. This is what counts beacuse you gotta take some inspiration from the guy with tiger blood in his viens. #winning Now you start really uping the crazy as you start making crazy rants on stream about what you're doing on the island. Declare war on a few countries and take a boat that you own hostage and live stream you pirating it. Hold people hostage and Livestream the whole thing. At some point, people will get the idea you're a crazy neo-pirate island man who refuses to wear a shirt and is threatening to invade Vietnam and Luxembourg. Throw in a fictional country as well. That'll show them.

You keep this up for as long as possible. You can just keep increasing the crazy and you'll just earn more and more money while forcing the team to release you more and more. Then when they finally do it you collapse everything like a house of cards and get away with everything because nothing you did was illegal. That's what you want them to think you're thinking them to think your thinking that they're thinking.

[SabaDonutMan]

Uh, so.. There’s the fact that I'm my own gm. So for this I’m on Outlaws already, Swag.. get ready.
Obviously, as any good Diva would do I demand random stuff. Give me a suit made out of White Castle! Get me an Iphone 11 made out of White Castle! Oh Boy! What’s next, I know let's go after Swag personally. Your such a… uh… a slow sloth? Yeah, your slow and I’m super fast. Also, your so bad at… uh.. give me a second. I got it! You don’t have as many receiving yards as me. Suck on that you bad receiver. This is kind of fun. So uh Swag, guess what. I get a better discount at White Castle than you. HA, you wish you were me. In all honesty, the best thing I could do though is…. ORDER A RELOCATION. Arizona is such a smelly and disgusting state and phoenix is wayyyy too hot to play in. I hate the people, the food, and even the t-shirts. The t-shirts are so bad. That’s why we should move to *drumroll please* Austin Texas! Yes, we will kick out the inferior snakes(heard it here first, pythons are better). Well I’m bored, I’m going to White Castle.

[JKortesi81]

SHL CW PT

[jsteele14]

NSFL Affiliate link the PBE

[iamslm22]

PBE http://probaseballexperience.jcink.net/ind...=0&#entry105677

[Duilio05]

I would just make the life of my teammates and general managers miserable. I would start by pushing all the dry towels into the showers, so then there’d be no dry towels for people to use after practice. I would put shaving cream in everyone’s helmets. I would pee my pants everytime someone tackled me. I would cut the cords on all the TVs in the gym and locker rooms. I would paste I love Pony stickers on everyone's locker. Mail glitter bombs to my general managers. Read Dr. Seuss books at interviews. Spil all the Gatorade jugs. I would never give a reason for it either. I would just say i am exploring different kinds of zen. For the team fantasy league, i would auto draft and then drop all my players for kickers. I would call my teammates by different names. Like call Jimbo Sunny, and Sunny Jimbo. I would eat chili and cheese all week and have the worst farts possible, clog all the locker room toilets. Never join the team for happy hour at the local pub. Let my dog piss and poop on the practice field. Blair Taylor Swift everywhere around the team facilities. That is how I would sabotage a team to get them to trade me, or drop me.

[Modern_Duke]

I initially struggled in trying to think of the best way as a player to get booted from a team. The problem is, as we have seen in real life in the Antonio Brown situation, teams will always give you a chance if you are talented enough. So instead I tried to think of it from the opposite approach: what would it take as a GM for a player to be so crazy that I would have no choice but to get rid of them? Other than the obvious answer of getting involved in some criminal actions, a player has to be an obvious distraction for the team. Maybe they are complaining about being played out of position, or don't get along with the coach, or don't get along with teammates. That's a decent start, but it may take some truly wild actions to sever ties. Sleep with the owner's wife. Fight a mascot. Claim that the earth isn't actually flat, it's a cube.

However, the most powerful weapon a player has though is pretty simple. Once again, we just saw it in real life with Antonio Brown. Hot air balloons, frostbite scares, and equipment issues mean nothing. The easiest way out is just ask for your release (as long as the team if off the hook financially, that is).

[Shadowz]

Ruff Ruff is the biggest diva in the entirety of the national simulation football league. It isn't even that he does it for attention or out of spite, he just does crazy things for his own entertainment. One time he got in massive trouble with his locker room for hanging out after the game and tearing up all of the cushions that were on the couch. He also peed on lockers that weren't his a couple of times to try and make a territorial grab, much to his dismay they were cleaned shortly after. Ruff Ruff knows he's a bit of a pain in the ass for his teammates sometimes, so he tried to help out by sniffing them some quality excrement to roll around in. Other than thanking him however, the team thought he was playing a rude prank on them and did not give him any pats for at least thirty minutes after. Ruff Ruff would never demand a trade though if his team was willing to put up with him, as he has grown to be extremely loyal to them, and has developed very tight bonds with his teammates. Plus if he goes, who will chase the occasional squirrel off of the field?