(S17) - PT3 - AB is crazy

[Lowlycrib]

Getting out is now my number one priority as a player. Tyron Brackenridge is no longer happy on the floundering Saber Cats and must join a powerhouse to secure a Ultimus trophy. It would all begin rather politely by submitting a trade request, which ultimately fails because the Saber Cats are too greedy and look to destroy everyone's career on the squad. Tyron would then need to ramp up his activity and foolishness. He would begin by calling out the GMs and fellow teammates for being "as soft as Brayden Ennis and having the football IQ of a large pebble", which would hopefully make the team realize to cut their losses and to remove this defiant player. More extreme measures would be needed if the team didn't respond the way he had wanted, which would include things such as not training, openly trashing the team to upcoming rookies, "forgetting" his equipment before game days, or even intentionally injuring himself. One of the more extreme examples there is one final move that Tyron could go to in order to get himself of the team that would include retiring and waiting for the team to either trade his contract rights or repeatedly retiring and coming back so his skills could diminish far enough for the team to realize he won't play up to his contract and finally release him. Lastly, he could Quadruple Amputate his limbs in order to effectively end his career and time with the team.

(246 word)

[toivo]

I want out of this club because the walls are painted with the wrong shade of purple. I know the true shade of purple our team intended on having and this isn’t it. I have raised my concerns to management three times. The first time, they told me they would look into it. The second time, they told me they forgot. The third time, they said my claims were false and did not understand what the issue was. Did not understand what the issue was? It’s ugly and it’s the wrong color. I can’t play for a team that does not know how to properly paint its locker room. Do other franchises have this problem? I can answer that for you, no they do not. I have been in many away team locker rooms and they’re all the same color, white. This leads me to believe this is a New Orleans only problem. The issue is taking over my mind. I have a board at home with pictures of different samples I have found, i.e. different walls in the locker room. Upon close inspection, you will note varying shades of purple. It needs to be uniform. Anything less for a professional football team is simply astonishing.

[AW13]

PBE CW

[Rise of Smitty]

PBE Task

[speculadora]

I am neither a diva nor a crazy person, so I resent the statements made by the author of this point task. However. IF, I repeat, IF, I were a crazy diva, there is no length to which I would not go to get myself out of a situation I did not want to be in. For example, one crazy thing I would do is claim that I am a psychic and can talk to ghosts. I would go all in on it, too. If anyone questioned me I would double down. I would want everyone to think I was having a complete psychotic break. It probably wouldn't even be effective but then I could maybe retire without any questions asked and start my new career as a television ghost hunter. Thereby effectively getting myself out of the situation I did not want to be in in the first place. Another thing I might try would be something like eating vaseline and crying live on Periscope, taking a page out of the Stephon Marbury playbook. That way everyone would be like wow this guy is super duper sad, we should have some sympathy for him. And then maybe I could be cut or traded or something. My teammates would probably lose all respect for me, too. So it wouldn't even matter.

[ADwyer87]

This is easy for me to do, because its something I just did. After signing with Orange County in the offseason, my CTE kicked in and I immediately decided that I hated it there. I went about some small ways to try and get them to trade me. First, I caused issues in practice whenever we would do running plays. I told everyone that we dont need to practice that bullshit, because we ain't gonna be fucking running, we just gonna throw to me! So I refused to go do my blocking assignments and coach had to take me out of those plays. Next I decided that I would try and cause a QB controversy. In practice I would always request for the coach to put Showbiz back at QB and take Armstrong out, which made him very confused since I always talked shit about Showbiz while he was still my QB. In interviews I would always compare him unfavorably to Showbiz, and would say he might need more seasons in the DSFL. That wasn't working, and the deadline was rapidly approaching, so I had to go to more drastic measures. I went to the GMs office, called him a scorpxcracker, and threatened to punch him in his weenus. That did the trick, and I got traded to Baltimore the next day

[FleshBagSoup]

I just can’t take it anymore. I won't be playing until this can be solved. Tijuana won’t give me with a lifetime supply of cornbread. Who cares about winning if you can’t have free cornbread? An ultimini doesn’t taste as good as cornbread and everyone knows that. I won’t be disrespected any longer and it is time to show them the consequences. First I will gather all the local corn farmers to help with my cause. Second on the list is to fill all of the team facilities with bread and corn to send a message. If the Luchadores can’t see the importance of my needs by now it is time to fill the gm’s vehicles with cream corn. I also think it would be a great idea to go by the name of Mr Corn Bread. Next I would buy a trebuchet and launch corn onto the field while the team held practice. I’m sure I could find some tijuana fans that love cornbread just as much as I do to write some strongly worded letters to the front office stating how important cornbread is to some people. Things better work how I want them to or the cornbread war will not stop.

[bex]

From day one, I’ve been overworked and underappreciated by the Seawolves. They just don’t treat me like I deserve and I cannot stand for it any more. If they seriously want to keep me, they’ll have to meet my demands.

I’m not going to be able to play without my family there cheering me on. I’m going to need the team to provide a private jet to bring my family from New Zealand out to the games. Yes, I mean for every single game. I’m also going to need to have my jersey reprinted with the correct spelling of my last name: TƦÂÂ riki. I don’t care that there isn’t enough space on the jersey. Find a way to make it happen if you ever want me to take the field again.

I’m also going to need the league to provide a room full of puppies for me. After a hard day of practice, I need a space to pet cute dogs. With my schedule, you can’t expect me to keep my own. So get some doggos, hire some people to take care of them and make it happen.

One more thing: I can’t play for Norfolk without my lucky cleats. You can’t expect me to run the ball in just any old shoes, can you? After all, you’re not getting far without me. Too bad it looks like someone just chucked them into the harbor. So you’re gonna need to get a snorkel and go find them, or we’re gonna have a problem.

[Raven]

Written Option: You are a diva and you want out. You also happen to be a crazy person. What crazy things do you do? Burn your feet, demand new helmets, go all over social media? I don’t want anyone to throw their current team under the bus, this is purely hypothetical. Write about the experience and craziness that comes with being an NSFL diva! What would you do to demand a trade or make your team realize you just aren't worth the hassle?

Corvo Havran has totally had it with th incompetent owner of the Baltimore Hawks. Again and again Corvo and Turk Turkleton, resident kicker coach, have requested that the team looks into rebranding the team into a name that is more fitting with todays standarts. The hawks name has lost it's edge and teams dont fear the once mighty air soaring bird anymore. The players know this, the fans know this, the coach knows this, but the owner just does not want to commit the the rebrand.

Havran is a big advocate of the movement that was once started by Turk Turkleton. Turk wanted the team name to be changed to the Baltimore Giraffes and for a while leaked images came about of a logo that looked like the Baltimore one, but with a giraffe in it. These ended up being fake leaks. Now the time has come to make the actually official change and Havran will not set another foot on the field until the change has been made.

News reported have questioned Havrans sanity on the matter, but he seems headstrong and deteremed to stand by his decision. He has given the team till the end of the regular season to make the right choice or else Corvo is out of Baltimore. He will get his contract bought out and he will go onto the free agent market.

[PSanchez55]

http://probaseballexperience.jcink.net/ind...ndpost&p=106213