(S3) - Weekend PT #3 - NFL Aspirations

[daBenchwarmer]

The Cleveland Browns, with all of their quarterback troubles, have formally offered San Jose Sabercats quarterback Ethan Hunt a professional tryout agreement. Despite wanting to play in the NFL for quite sometime, Hunt rejected the offer, citing that he wanted to stay in San Jose and win a championship there instead.

It made sense for the Browns, not only are they always struggling to plug the gaps in their "shitshow" of a roster, and the Browns had decided that where they needed to start would be at the quarterback position. Not only would Hunt step up and become one of the better quarterbacks the Browns have seen in the past few years, but he would also bring a mix of skill, strength and speed to the Browns, as well as show the same vocal leadership many fans of the Sabercats have come to hear over the various games they have seen Hunt play in. He can pass, he can run, he can make some of the most intelligent plays ever (albeit being a somewhat inconsistent threat), but no matter, he can still become a well rounded NFL threat.

Should Hunt have gone to the Browns for this tryout? Maybe. But he needs to stick to his guns and follow where his heart is, not where the money is.

--------- 218

[HENDRIX]

NFL tryout season has concluded. During that time of year is when teams scour the country looking for more talent to add to their lineup. Los Angeles native, and USC alumni Kurt Hendrix has been heavily pursued by hometown teams in the Chargers and Rams. Before the season Kurt took an all expenses paid trip out to LA for a few days to abuse offensive linemen of both teams. Things got very heated during the Rams tryout, Kurt froze Rams tackle Andrew Whitworth with his patented spin move and absolutely obliterated Jared Goff, almost killing him. The sight of their #1 overall pick and franchise savior twitching on the ground caused a mosh pit. Several Rams players charged, Kurt was able to fend off all comers with his helmet. Ten broken noses and two liters of blood later cops were on the scene to diffuse the carnage. Kurt was transported in an armored truck like Garland Greene to the airport to catch the next flight back to Baltimore. In the aftermath Rams coach Sean McVay delivered his own parting shots: "That goon Hendrix belongs in that goon NSFL league making minimum wage." Odds are Kurt punched his ticket to a career in the NSFL, literally and figuratively. (207)

[PlotzkeA]

I have always wanted to play in the NFL. Dont get me wrong, the NSFL is an amazing thing to be apart of and I am so happy that I was drafted by the Baltimore Hawks... but man, when I got that call to come in for a chance to replace the injured Jarrad Davis for the Lions, my heart skipped a beat. This week their starting MLB is out with a concussion and they need someone ASAP, they patched the spot up last week towards the end of the game with Tahir Whitehead, who is complete garbage. So they called me in to see what I could do. Bob Quinn is one of the nicest people I could have met, he seems so down to earth and made me feel right at home. When I got to the facility there were 6 other guys trying out, none from the NSFL tho. We were put through basically a mock combine to see where we lacked in ability and where we excelled. I was the fastest LB there, but unfortunately not the fleetest of foot. I took a couple tumbles and basically just tripped on one play covering a tight end coming off of the line. Next they had us go into a room in the back to test us on our knowledge of the game. I did very well at that as I consider myself a student of the game, plus I watch every single Lions game I can so I know a lot of their defensive schemes. Unfortunately I was not picked to replace Davis for the upcoming game. I was just happy to get the opportunity, and will for sure not squander the chance if I get another.

290 words

[Archon]

Following a great senior year with UCLA, Bruins offensive lineman Francois Lamoreux was offered an opportunity to try out with his favorite team, the Chicago Bears. In fact, Lamoreux chose UCLA as the college to play for due to the mascot for UCLA being essentially a bear. After his season year Lamoreux retained the services of Archibald Archon as his agent who set up a private workout with Chicago in order to show off his skills. The lineman was well received due to his enormous stature and love of deep dish pizza. He benched 225 pounds an incredible 36 times, but lost points when his 40 yard dash time was around 15 seconds. Stopping along the way at the 20 yard mark to take a breather hurt his prospects in the eyes of the Bears. Not helping matters was his agent being implicated in a player movement scandal which made him ineligible to work with players in the NFL. Instead of settling for being drafted by a terrible team like the Green Bay Packers, Lamoreux stayed loyal to his friend Archon and followed him to the NSFL. While his NFL aspirations are on hold, both Lamoreux and his agent have found a great home in Yellowknife with the Wraiths and neither has regretted their decision to work in the young league.

[Evok]

[Lendoris]

[DeathOnReddit]

If you didnt know the NSFL season is played in the summer. The NFL season is played in the fall. So when Arbin Asipi was lounging around going on vacation, he was surprised to see his phone ring. When he picked it up it was Ryan Pace, the General Manager of the bears. The bears were 0-2 and facing a lot of injuries. What Asipi didnt understand was that the bears had a good defense, and were only lacking in the MLB position, which he did not play in. Pace said, though, that he wanted Asipi to play at OL. They thought he had the necessary strength and speed to fit right in with their blocking scheme. Asipi of course said and I quote "hell yeah". With Asipi at RG, Center, AND LG whenever the time called for it, the bears were able to run the ball for over 1800 yards with Tarik Cohen and Jordan Howard. After week 5, which the bears were 3-2 they decided to start Mitchell Trubisky for the rest of the season. The bears went on to go 14-2 and won the superbowl. They offered Arbin Asipi a 6 year 75 million dollar contract. Arbin, of course, would only accept if he was still allowed to play in the NSFL.
Pace said yes, and now Arbin Asipi is a player in 2 major football leagues.

[White Cornerback]

Following his graduation from the University of Arizona, having become a campus hero in his short time in Arizona, Lavelle was invited for private workouts with the Arizona Cardinals.

Lavelle traveled to the center of Glendale to have a look at facilities and organize a meeting with Cardinals GM Steve Keim. Despite receiving a tour of the stadium, Lavelle was unable to schedule a metting with either the GM or another representative.

About a week later Lavelle receives a call while chilling in his agents office, "Bruce Arians is on the phone". "Are you shitting me? For real? " Just answer the fucking phone and hope you've got a tryout my agent replies.

" Is this Lavelle? The fucking cornerback out of fucking Arizona" Bruce asks in a typical Bruce Arians fashion. " Listen fucko, Justin Bethel just went down in training camp, Mathieu is still unfit from his previous knee injuries and Patrick Peterson isn't looking too good, well I guess you could say he's in regular season form to be exact." Anyway I'm calling you to see if you'd like to play Quarterback , we seen you in the Jbearly Memorial Game where you went 10/17 0TD 2 INTS & 1 rushing TD" Carson's been dying lately and has already hit fucking noodle arm stage so we reckon that even with your lack of passing ability, you can easily beat him for the starting QB spot, See you on Monday fucko"

[NUCK]

[Rabidsponge21]