*S18 Sports Center Returns With DSFL Coverage

[IsaStarcrossed]

Please split this 40% to @IsaStarcrossed, 40% to @Dylandeluxe, and 20% to @Hallmonitor_20

Disclaimer: Be gentle when you spot errors and remember this was done with a broken hand.

"Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the S18 Sports Center with Bjørn Ironside, Stacy Stanbul, and Jeremy Shoemaker. Bjørn, lead us off this morning."

“Well hello all and thank you, Mike. The first four weeks of the DSFL season has passed us by. There was drama, excitement, disappointment, optimism, and surprises plenty to go around for everyone. Earlier this week, there was some action in the NSFL that looked like trouble on the horizon. Luckily for us, despite the issues at the upper level that has caused game delays and riots in the streets, the DSFL season kicked off without a hitch and has gone smoothly. We at the S18 Sports Center are looking to dive into it all and give you all a look at what happened since we last checked in. Let us kick off with our weekly Path to the Draft report.”

Path to the Draft

"Last week you all saw the introduction to this segment and we got our first look at the top 20 prospects in the DSFL. It was a trial experiment that was more of a concept than an official formula. This week we think we’ve made the process a bit smoother for our viewers. Four weeks can be a lot of time and we’ve restructured our grading process, so let's take a glance and see how things may have shaken up since our last look at the prospect rankings.”

Our current scale is as follows:
TPE:
99 or under: F (2 pts)
100-119: D (4 pts)
120-139: C (6 pts)
140-159: B (8 pts)
160+: A (10 pts)

Money:
0-$5,000,000: F (2 pts)
$5,000,001-$7,000,000:: D (4 pts)
$7,000,001-$10,000,000: C (6 pts)
$10,000,001-$20,000,000 B (8 pts)
$20,000,001+ A (10 pts)

Activity: I’ve put together an algorithm for activity. Discord posts in Rookie/S18 chat plus forum posts multiplied by four. I thought with forum posts including media, forums should be worth four times as much as discord chatter. To be fair to everyone, I started counting activity at the last week of July so remakes didn’t crush the new guys.
0-100: F (2pts)
101-400: D (4pts)
401-700: C (6 pts)
701-1000: B (8 pts)
1001+: A (10 pts)

1. Bjørn Ironside DT (IsaStarcrossed) - 30 Points
TPE: 163 A (10 Points) (1st in DTs)
Money: 48 Million A (10 Points) (1st in DTs)
Activity: 6588 Discord Posts, 134 Forum Posts, 7124 points A (10 points) (1st in DTs)

2. Trae Bacon DT (RobCubed) - 22 Points
TPE: 159 B (8 Points) (2nd in DTs)
Money: 5.8 Million D (4 Points) (3rd in DTs)
Activity: 2064 Discord Posts, 99 Forum Posts, 2460 points A (10 points) (2nd in DTs)

3. Thudd Kassel LB (Dylandeluxe) - 20 Points
TPE: 143 B (8 Points) (2nd in LBs)
Money: -5.6 Million F (2 Points) (6th in LBs)
Activity: 3652 Discord Posts, 78 Forum Posts, 3964 points A (10 points) (1st in LBs)

3. Net Gaines LB (buffiegreat18) - 20 Points
TPE: 125 C (6 Points) (3rd in LBs)
Money: 7 Million C (6 Points) (1st in LBs)
Activity: 734 Discord Posts, 47 Forum Posts, 922 points B (8 points) (2nd in LBs)

3. Pete Parker S (jsteele14) - 20 Points
TPE: 161 A (10 Points) (1st in S)
Money: 7.5 Million C (6 Points) (2nd in S)
Activity: 29 Discord Posts, 40 Forum Posts, 189 points D (4 points) (2nd in S)

6. Maurice Virtanen LB (BaconBrother/Murtsi) - 18
TPE: 153 B (8 Points) (1st in LBs)
Money: 4.1 Million F (2 Points) (3rd in LBs)
Activity: 580 Discord Posts, 62 Forum Posts, 828 points B (8 points) (3rd in LBs)

6. Korrin Abernathy CB (VRTX L4S3R) - 18
TPE: 134 C (6 Points) (1st in CBs)
Money: -4 Million F (2 Points) (6th in CBs)
Activity: 1313 Discord Posts, 85 Forum Posts, 1653 points A (10 points) (1st in CBs)

6. Michael Vincent RB (sapp2013) - 18
TPE: 99 F (2 Points) (9th in RBs)
Money: 100.5 Million A (10 Points) (1st in RBs)
Activity: 265 Discord Posts, 40 Forum Posts, 425 points C (6 points) (3rd in RBs)

6. Givussafare Rubbe OL (caltroit_red_flames) - 18
TPE: 106 D (4 Points) (1st in OLs)
Money: 8.5 Million C (6 Points) (1st in OLs)
Activity: 580 Discord Posts, 45 Forum Posts, 760 points B (8 points) (2nd in OLs)

6. Jake Utler RB (PersonMann) - 18
TPE: 146 B (8 Points) (1st in RBs)
Money: 9.5 Million C (6 Points) (5th in RBs)
Activity: 31 Discord Posts, 29 Forum Posts, 147 points D (4 points) (8th in RBs)

6. Mike Hockhertz RB (CDub2) - 18
TPE: 119 D (4 Points) (4th in RBs)
Money: 74 Million A (10 Points) (2nd in RBs)
Activity: 21 Discord Posts, 50 Forum Posts, 221 points D (4 points) (7th in RBs)

6. Mike Franchet DE (DeadlyPlayer) - 18
TPE: 84 F (2 Points) (2nd in DEs)
Money: 7.5 Million C (6 Points) (1st in DEs)
Activity: 2634 Discord Posts, 24 Forum Posts, 2730 points A (10 points) (1st in DEs)

6. Johnson Harding QB (adam2552) - 18
TPE: 109 D (4 Points) (2nd in QBs)
Money: 30 Million A (10 Points) (1st in QBs)
Activity: 100 Discord Posts, 50 Forum Posts, 300 Points D (4 Points) (2nd in QBs)

14. Marcella T?riki RB (Bex) - 16
TPE: 139 C (6 Points) (2nd in RBs)
Money: 3.5 Million F (2 Points) (8th in RBs)
Activity: 754 Discord Posts, 33 Forum Posts, 886 points B (8 points) (1st in RBs)

14. Zach Hall TE (Hallmonitor_20) - 16
TPE: 118 D (4 Points) (2nd in TEs)
Money: 4.5 Million F (2 Points) (1st in TEs)
Activity: 2620 Discord Posts, 59 Forum Posts, 2856 points A (10 points) (1st in TEs)

14. Baxter Frost K (Frostbite) - 16
TPE: 100 D (4 Points) (1st in Ks)
Money: 8 Million C (6 Points) (2nd in Ks)
Activity: 401 Discord Posts, 25 Forum Posts, 501 points C (6 points) (1st in Ks)

14. Stuart Little IV CB (dieselj123) - 16
TPE: 118 D (4 Points) (4th in CBs)
Money: 10.6 Million B (8 Points) (1st in CBs)
Activity: 65 Discord Posts, 21 Forum Posts, 149 points D (4 points) (6th in CBs)

14. Jay Cue QB (Opera_Phantom) - 16
TPE: 146 B (8 Points) (1st in QBs)
Money: 3.2 Million F (2 Points) (2nd in QBs)
Activity: 348 Discord Posts, 51 Forum Posts, 552 points C (6 points) (1st in QBs)

14. Fabricio Baldari DE (Sermokala) - 16
TPE: 109 D (4 Points) (1st in DEs)
Money: 1.4 Million F (2 Points) (2nd in DEs)
Activity: 932 Discord Posts, 23 Forum Posts, 1024 points A (10 points) (2nd in DEs)

14. Tyrone Biggums WR (Revolution5) - 16
TPE: 163 A (10 Points) (1st in WRs)
Money: -5.6 Million F (2 Points) (4th in WRs)
Activity: 160 Discord Posts, 57 Forum Posts, 388 points D (4 points) (2nd in WRs)

14. Ruff Ruff RB (Shadowz) - 16
TPE: 137 C (6 Points) (3rd in RBs)
Money: 7.2 Million C (6 Points) (6th in RBs)
Activity: 6 Discord Posts, 30 Forum Posts, 126 points D (4 points) (9th in RBs)

14. Fuzzy Dotson RB (goodfortunecoffee) - 16
TPE: 107 D (4 Points) (7th in RBs)
Money: 10.1 Million B (8 Points) (4th in RBs)
Activity: 145 Discord Posts, 44 Forum Posts, 321 points D (4 points) (4th in RBs)

“As you can see, a lot can change in the period of just a week. Last week, we were looking at a dozen guys who were tied at the bottom of the top 20, but this week it is a much smaller grouping. As the season moves on, more guys will fall out of this group and others will have a chance to climb into it. It's all part of the chaos as we race towards the draft and I look forward to seeing where everyone ends up. Let's move on towards the next segment.”

The State of the Game

“In this week’s state of the game, we decided to start off by grabbing an interview with none other than SabaDonutMan, the GM of the undefeated Pythons. With the team starting off on a roll, we figured it would be a good start to get into the mind of the general manager for the DSFL’s current rank one team.”

Ironside: “Portland has started off red hot this season. Were you expecting this kind of start for your squad and do you expect the success to continue?”

SabaDonutMan: “I knew that we would be at the top of league in one way or another. What I didn’t expect was for us to do so well. Only giving up 7.3 points in 4 weeks definitely put a smile on my face.”

Ironside: “It's more than just that, you guys are also leading the DSFL in scoring on offense as well. What has you guys dominating so convincingly on both sides of the ball?”

SabaDonutMan: “It’s the effort we bring to the table. You see that we never give up every game and put in 100% effort every game. It may also be how we only eat the best foods. We get all our food from White Castle and it definitely helps us. Sponsored by White Castle.”

Ironside: “Every team has weaknesses and places to improve. Even a team that has looked as dominant as Portland. What weaknesses do you think this squad has currently or where do you think you can improve?”

SabaDonutMan: “I mean we don't have many weaknesses, but one area we could definitely improve is the passing game. With rookie QB Jay Cue at the helm the sky's the limit. Once his next update hits I see our passing stats skyrocketing.”

Ironside: “You've yet to play against the other two teams widely regarded in the top half of the DSFL. Of Tijuana and San Antonio, which are you most excited to play and which do you think will be harder to beat?”

SabaDonutMan: “I am super excited to play both of them. Tijuana will be exciting because of how we lost to them in the Ultimini and their GMs Tom Hanks and Scorp(Love them both) have always been super competitive. San Antonio will be a game of defense as our defenses both rank very highly and we both drafted super high rated defensive prospects. However, both games will be fun to watch(especially once we win).”

Ironside: “Looking at the current landscape of the league, who are you expecting to play if you make the finals this season?”

SabaDonutMan: “Not gonna lie, I see us playing Tijuana in the end. As stated before Tom Hanks and Scorp are super competitive and I see them finding a way to make their team even greater which will lead to them playing us.”

Ironside: “Right now you have a pretty rough looking mix of teams forming the lower half of the league. Which one of the three do you think have the best chance of making the playoffs?”

SabaDonutMan: “I'm gonna say Norfolk. They have an MVP candidate running back in Marcella Toriki and their defense is anchored by big man Bjørn Ironside. Although they haven't had as many players and haven't played the best, I see them making a turn around and making the playoffs as the 4th seed.”

Ironside: “A lot has been said about your game planning so far this season and other GMs have noticed you've been managing to get the most out of your team. Is all of that credit yours, or do you have someone helping you put these performances together?”

SabaDonutMan: “I gotta hand out credit to my Co-Gm Toasty. I know he may not be the most active but with his experience and the fact that he is always there when I need him he deserves a lot of credit. Don't think I forgot Numbers. Numbers has been there every step of the way helping me with whatever I needed. This wouldn't be remotely possible without him and I owe this entire season to him”

Ironside: “Thank you for taking the time for this interview Saba. It's always a pleasure and I wish the Pythons luck for the rest of this season.”

“As you can see, Saba is taking his victories in stride. He seems to be a bit overconfident, but when you start this hot, it can be a hard thing to avoid. Perhaps extra confidence is just what this team needs to carry them to the Ultimus. Now it’s time to get to the meat of our coverage and dive into the games.”

Game Coverage

“We’ve officially taken our first look at the action in the DSFL and we’ve made it a quarter of the way through the season. There were some truly shocking outcomes including seeing our season favorite drop a game early. We had blowouts, excitement, and surprises to go around. Our game reporter Stacy Stanbul has come through with some coverage of the games so far. Stacy, what do you have for us?”

WEEK 1

*Norfolk(0-1) vs Portland(1-0)* 44-3
“Week 1 of the DSFL kicked off with a 44-3 drubbing of the Seawolves at the hands of the Portland Pythons. Behind the three-headed rushing attack of RA,Stonglegs, and McTaco, Portland clubbed Norfolk’s defence like a baby seal in Alaska during hunting season. 1st Overall pick Bjørn Ironside had a respectable performance, frequently taking on double and triple team blocks. Late in the second quarter he managed to chase down running back and force a fumble but the ball did not bounce Norfolk’s way and was recovered by Portland. The lone standout of a Gimmy Jaroppolo led offence was rookie running back Marcella Toriki. Toriki grinded out 121 yards at 4.1 yards an attempt. With the Pythons loading up the box with 9 men, not fearing Gimmy’s popgun arm, her performance on the ground turned the heads of some NSFL scouts. Portland Rookie QB Jay Cue debuted with a respectable performance. With a dominant rushing attack, not a lot was asked of him but he avoided the mental errors and put up 124 yards and a TD. The Python defence was on the attack all day, any time Gimmy dropped back to pass. Almost every attempt ended in Gimmy either on his back or making a completion to a fan in the bleachers. By the end of the game Gimmy looked like a dead corpse struggling to pick himself off the turf after each successive hit. As the final whistle blew Bjørn Ironside was seen dragging Gimmy off the field by his ankle. Reports were that Gimmy was still breathing but I have my doubts.

Breakout Performance of the Game: Marcella Toriki
Not enough can be said about this performance by Marcella. Behind a young but talented offensive, Marcella put up the most rushing yards by a single player against a Python defence since Week 9 of last season. In a draft class with fellow teammate Ironside, was Marcella the better find? I won’t draw conclusions just yet but this young lady is now on everyone's radar.

Disappointing Performance of the Game: Bjørn Ironside
Any time a team is willing to trot out QB Gimmy Jaroppolo at QB1 is a week that Gimmy is a candidate for this slot. But that would be too easy for my job, so instead I will peg Bjørn Ironside as the most disappointing performance of the game. 3 tackles and a forced fumble. Most defensive tackles would take that performance to the bank every week and call it a day. But the expectations set by the media, and set for himself, were not met. Not by a longshot, and I don’t know that Bjorn could ever meet the astronomical hype in the opening week, that his pre-draft process brought.

*Tijuana(1-0) vs Kansas City(0-1)* 36-24
The Luchadores coasted to a 36-24 away victory on an afternoon where QB McCann III had difficulties finding his targets. Tijuana amassed 256 yards on the ground with Ducky Donut and Chase Osborn both scoring a pair of touchdowns. Reports out of the Tijuana training camp had Osborn getting reps at defensive end so it was a bit of a surprise to see him spell Donut. None the less he had 75 yards on the ground. 3rd string running back Fuzzy Dotson saw his first playing time as a slimmed down version of himself gaining 61 yards on 8 carries in his first pro action. Word out of the Tijuana LR is they expect him to be a weapon in the passing game moving forward. The game itself was decided by the time the 4th quarter rolled around with a score of 29-10. Coyotes running back punched it in two times to make the scoreboard a little more respectable but a touchdown midway through the fourth by Ducky Donut sealed Kansas City’s fate. The defensive side of the ball saw some standout performances on both teams. 4th overall pick LB Maurice “The Finnisher” Virtanen racked up a whopping 20 tackles! He spent the whole night plugging leaky holes left open by his defensive line. KC defensive end, Shawn Oakman Jr, had himself a night as well stuffing the runner in the backfield for 3 TFL’s. He also picked up a sack and was in QB McCann’s grill all night. On the Luchadores side of the ball 12th overall pick Thudd Kassel had himself a solid night picking up 12 tackles. Caleb Beck had a breakout game with 5 tackles, and a pair of turnovers with a pass deflection to boot. Overall a solid performance from the defending champs.

Breakout Performance of the Game: Shawn Oakman Jr & Caleb Beck
Both players here came out of the 8th round of the DSFL draft and both players find immediate success in their first professional action. Shawn Oakman Jr is a uber-talented if not raw player who can be a disruptive force on any time from sheer physical talent alone. That was evident tonight as the Luchadores O-line had trouble keeping him away from the quarterback. I vote for his blindside sack of McCann as hit of the week with it knocking McCann’s helmet off harder than when GM Jimmy Dugan found out that Gimmy was coming home to Tijuana. That’s right folks you heard it here first. The clown show that is The Gimmy is coming back across the border. Cornerback Caleb Beck had himself a night. With an interception and a forced fumble the Luchadores have found themselves a modern day Charles Tillman. I expect many turnovers in his future.

Disappointing Performance of the Night: Jimmy Dugan
Midway through the second quarter it was announced that the Seawolves signed a rookie free agent QB, thus activating the trade clause in the NOR-TIJ draft day trade. With Norfolks new quarterback reporting in week 5 or 6 Gimmy has a few more games to suit up for the Seawolves but will be headed back to Tijuana after he does not make a start for the Seawolves.. The reports out of the Tijuana locker room say that Linebacker Thudd Kassel was attempting to kick down GM Jimmy Dugan’s door in an attempt to stop the maligned QB from coming home. Some reports even say Thudd threatened retirement, but that Co-GM Scorp talked him down from that ledge. I say I have to agree with Thudd’s sentiment. Bringing Gimmy back has by far been GM Jimmy Dugan’s worse move in his career running the Luchadores.

*San Antonio(1-0) vs Palm Beach(0-1)*44-24
In our final matchup of the opening week the Marshalls dominated this ball game from the start. Don’t tell PETA but San Antonio just slaughtered this endangered species. 3rd overall pick showed off his petey senses and took a punt 68 yards to the house, #AlmostNice. After that the Marshalls offense settled into a groove behind Quarterback Jim McMahon’s efficient passing. McMahon completed 73% of his passes for 204 yards and a touchdown. Receiver Tyrone Biggums also had a very respectable first outing going for 6 receptions and 74 yards. TE Steco Bewilder proved to be a nice compliment in the passing game as well going for 72 yards and 1 TD. Finally the real engine behind the Marshalls steady if not unspectacular offense was the one two combo of Mathias Hanyadi and actual real puppy Ruff Ruff. The pair combined for 177 yards and 3 TD’s, powering the Marshalls to the win. On the defensive side of the ball for the Marshall’s defensive ends Baldari and Franchet consistently disrupted the Solar Bears passing attack, causing all types of trouble for QB P.Helmet. Some fans are saying that on Franchet’s sack, that after the play he pulled a tall boy out of his jock strap and chugged it. As the game cut to commercial and there is no video evidence I am not inclined to believe this, but those close to Franchet say it sounds 100% like something he would do.

On a night that didn’t see many positives for the Solar Bears in the first half, a second half rally showed the rest of the league that they wouldn’t lay down and die. While inconsistent QB P.Helmet showed flashes of his potential throwing for 192 yards with 1 TD and no interceptions. Some question Palm Beach’s decision to not give RB Jake Utler more touches in the running game but he made the most of his carries. 121 yards and 1 TD on just 12 carries. TE Zach Hall continued on his consistent track of improvement wrangling in 3 catches for 41 yards. On the defensive side of the ball LB Matt Ammons picked right up where he left off in the Prospect Bowl, accumulating a game high 14 tackles and 2 tfl’s. While not the outcome they hoped for, Palm Beach has to be happy with the performance of its young core.

Breakout Performance of the game: Ruff Ruff
Many experts around the league were left scratching their heads when the Marshalls drafted a literal puppy. But so far their evil genius plan has worked. So far defenders have showed an unwillingness to annihilate the young pupper. Grabbing the ball with his cute little teeth from QB McMahon, Ruff Ruff trotted between 2-8 yards a play before laying down and waiting for a belly rub, where then a defender finally deems it okay to down Ruff Ruff by contact.This worked to the tune of 86 yards and 2 TD’s with defenders literally letting Ruff Ruff trot into the endzone. Will this game plan hold up or will DSFL defenders hearts grow cold? For Ruff Ruff’s sake we here at S18 Sports Center pray for the former.

Disappointing Performance of the game: Givussafare Rubbe
Many expected the 6’7 340 pound behemoth offensive linemen to come in and dominate the trenches of the DSFL. Rubbe failed to give his running back a fair rub when running at this side as he struggled in the run game all night, not managing a single pancake. In the passing game he did not fare much better as he gave up a crucial sack and constantly gave up QB pressures.
I’m chalking this up to first game nerves and expect great things moving forward for the big man.

WEEK 2

*Norfolk(1-1) vs Palm Beach(0-2)*27-20
Week 2 kicked off with a battle of the DSFL Infants. Experts predict that the Norfolk and Palm Beach matchups will be the only opportunity for wins for either ballclub this season. Palm Beach went into halftime with a narrow 13-10 lead, but a dominating second half by the Seawolves saw Norfolk come away with their first win on the season improving to 1-1. I can’t believe I am typing these words but Gimmy Jaroppolo managed to produce a respectable 121 yards on 14 completions and a TD. Once again though, Norfolk relied heavily on the legs of Toriki to the tune of 34 carries, 143 yards, and 1 TD. Through 2 weeks of the DSFL she is emerging as a dark horse MVP candidate. On the defensive side of the ball for Norfolk, Bjørn Ironside picked up his first sack of his DSFL career to go along with another 3 tackles. Frequently facing double and triple teams again, Ironside’s impact was not fully recognized on the stat sheet. The attention he demands in the trenches freed up fellow Norfolk defenders to make impact plays. Marlo Smart took the ball carrier to the dirt and impressive 14 times along with a forced fumble. CB Nicholas Grimmer took an errant P.Helmet pass the other way for 6 points with fellow corner David Rector snagging an interception as well. Overall a complete performance by the Seawolves. On the other sideline the Solar Bears offensive attack tried to ride the 1-2 combo of Utler and Allan to the win but QB Helmet could not muster enough in the passing game to help his ground attack. Struggling to a 51.7 QB rating, Helmet just could not find his rhythm and every pass attempt was a threat to get picked off. Linebacker Ammons had an impactful game again, while not racking up the tackle totals we are used to seeing, he managed to stuff the ball carrier once in the backfield as well as forcing a fumble. One highlight of note on the Palm Beach offense was Tackle Givusafare Rubbe, getting a whopping 6 pancakes and not giving up a sack, after a somewhat disappointing week 1 performance.

Breakout Performance of the Game:Nicholas Grimmer/b]
Grimmer had the highlight of the night with his spectacular 59 yard interception return for a touchdown. Helmet struggled all night when throwing at Grimmer, tempting fate one too many times. Grimmer displayed the skills necessary to succeed at the professional level and we look to see some more explosive defensive plays from the CB before the season is over.

Disappointing Performance of the Game:[b]Zach Hall
After debuting with a solid 43 yards, Hall struggled mightily in week 2. Managing to only snag 1 catch for 9 yards, Hall was expected to be able to have a big night against a less talented team. A false start and several missed blocking assignments later, Zach Hall looked dazed and confused this week on the field. Is the Youtube sensation cut out for the big leagues? It’s still too early to tell but his NSFL draft stock certainly took a hit.

*Tijuana(1-1) vs San Antonio(2-0)*44-20
If I told you that through 3 quarters this was the most competitive game of the season so far, you’d probably call my editor and tell them to drug test Stacy. But that’s exactly what happened. Going into the 4th quarter, San Antonio held onto a slim 21-20 lead that exploded into a 23 point 4th quarter and ultimately outscored the Luchadores 30-0 in the second half. In a game where Tijuana led in offensive yards and won the turnover battle 3-1 it was mental errors that ultimately cost them the game. Any momentum the Luchadores started to gain was cut short by 10 second half penalties. The two most head scratching being RB C. Osborn trying to come into the game at Defensive End after playing the entire game at running back, resulting in two “too many men on the field” penalties. There were reports out of the Luchadores camp that he spent time practicing on the defensive side of the ball but the Luchadores had not announced the change yet.

The Marshall’s game plan doubled down on giving Ruff Ruff the ball and hoping for the best. This led to a dominant game by the puppers, gaining 129 yards on 16 carries and 3 TD’s. Linebacker Thudd Kassel was, in what was a solid night for him(10 tackles, 1 INT, and a pair of deflections), reached out to after the game for an interview and had this to say.

SS: “You were in a prime position to stop Ruff Ruff on several plays, even letting him walk straight into the endzone. Why couldn’t you make the play”

TK: Well Stacy, if there is one thing I love more than Football, its dogs. Everytime I went to knock Ruff Ruff’s lights out I just saw those puppy eyes and it reminded me of my dog Milly. So I just couldn’t do it. GM Jimmy assured me after the game that he understood and wasn't mad”
Receiver Tyrone Biggums was the lone stand out in the passing game for the Marshalls. The explosive receiver flew for 82 yards and a touchdown, proving to be McMahon’s go to when he’s struggling to find other weapons. Defensively the Marshalls had a pretty complete team effort with Defensive End Mike Franchet once again chugging a tall boy mid game after a sack. League Officials could not be reached for comment on the matter.

The Luchadores rushing attack kept them in the game most of the night with Ducky Donut rushing for 129 yards and 2 touchdowns. But mental errors also found their way to the offensive side of the ball for Tijuana as well, constantly putting them behind the chains. The defensive effort for the Luchadores was admirable for 3 quarters but ultimately the floodgates broke and the Marshalls offense looked like it was unstoppable. The San Antonio win gives them an early conference advantage in the standings. Are the Luchadores all hype?

Breakout performance of the game: Tyrome Biggums
Biggums constantly found himself open as San Antonio’s only viable target through the air. Jim McMahon struggled all night, throwing 3 interceptions, except when targeting the flashy receiver.
Tied for the league lead in receptions and 3rd in yards, Biggums success straight out of the gate comes as a pleasant surprise for the Marshalls. Look for this guy to keep blowing the tops off opposing defences all year.

Disappointing performance of the game:Jesse Jackson
Jackson had a solid night when you look at the statline. 4 catches and 49 yards is nothing to turn your nose down at. But any impact he had on the game was negated by his 4 penalties. 2 unnecessary roughness penalties, 1 tripping penalty, and 1 illegal formation. Jackson was seen taking several cheapshots at Marshall defenders after the whistle and tried to trip CB Louisiana Purchase as he attempted to chase down the play. Jackson who is normally known for being calm, cool and collected and this breakdown of character is not something I expect to see moving forward.

*Kansas City(0-2) vs Portland(2-0)*0-38
Domination. That is the only word that can be used to describe this game from start to finish by the Pythons. Portland domesticated the Coyotes with a final score of 38-0. Kansas City struggled all night as they managed only 5 first downs to Portland’s 24. Quarterback Longshaw had what some are calling the worst performance of his career. Jay attempted 26 passes and only managed to complete 8 of them with a 31 percent completion percentage. Three of his passes were intercepted with one returned to the house by second year safety AC Payton. The running game did not provide any relief either as they managed only 37 yards. Overall a night the Coyotes offense would like to forget. Maurice Virtanen once again put up gaudy tackle stats, 17 to go with last weeks 20. You might take one look at this and be impressed but diving into it a little more sheds some light on the linebackers game. Virtanen’s average point of contact with the ball carrier is 5.17 yards from the line of scrimmage, showing that while he has a knack for finding the ball carrier, one might question if these are meaningful tackles. The Finnisher has 0 stats in any other category but tackles so one might start to question his true impact on a game.
The Pythons rushing attack was a freight train all night. Gaining 290 carries as a team on 58 attempts wore down the Coyotes front seven all night, eventually beating them into submission. Kermit Stronglegs got the lion's share of carries and impressed with 117 yards and a touchdown. In the passing game Donut caught 5 passes for 77 yards, including a beautiful toe dragging catch. There wasn’t a lot of chances for Python defenders to wrack up tackle stats as they only found themselves on the field for 14 minutes and 3 seconds of the game. The stand out was safety A.C Payton, who intercepted Longshaw twice and deflected another 3 passes.
After two weeks of ball it's hard to not predict the Pythons to hold the Ulitimini at seasons end.
Two dominant performances puts them squarely in the driver's seat.

Breakout performance of the game:A.C Payton
Two interceptions, one of which being a pick six and another 3 passes defended. This pick was probably my easiest of the season. The centerfielder was all over the back end giving Longshaw trouble. Payton is a turnover machine and a top candidate for defensive player of the year. With Payton manning the backend it’s hard to imagine any receivers scoring on this defense all year long.

Disappointing performance of the game:KC’s Offensive Coordinator
It would be easy to plug Longshaw here and call it a day, but I think the real blame falls on the offensive game plan. Kansas City got down early and decided to try and throw themselves back into the ballgame, completely abandoning the running game. This was a head scratching decision as both running backs for KC found some modest success before being forgot about the rest of the game. If KC is going to find any wins this year they will need to find offensive balance moving forward.

WEEK 3
*Portland(3-0) vs Palm Beach(0-3)* 16-6
Portland grinded out a much closer than expected game from Solar Beach 16 to 6. Quarterback Jay Cue has arguably the best game of his season so far, passing for 181 yards and 2 touchdowns. The main beneficiary of Cue’s aerial attack is DSFL veteran Saba Donut, going for 103 yards and a touchdown. Portland didn’t shy away from the run game on a day were the Solar Bears' defense managed to hold the ground game to 3.8 yards per attempt. The Pythons kept the ball on the ground for 44 times for 169 yards. On the defensive side of the ball, the Pythons got to quarterback P.Helmet 3 times. Once again the Pythons defence didn’t allow a big play all night with zero Solar Bears plays over 20 yards. P.Helmet had another so/so performance throwing for 148 yards and no touchdowns but avoided turnovers. Although falling to 0-3 on the season, Palm Beach has to have some optimism about playing competitive ball game against DSFL favorites Portland.

Breakout Performance of the Night: Jay Cue
Cue finished the night with a 151.3 QB rating and a 75% completion rate. Arguably the best performance of any QB in the DSFL this season. If Cue can continue to perform like today's ball game the rest of the season, it looks like Portland will be tough to beat in any matchup.

Disappointing performance of the week:Portland’s running game
You have to give credit to the Solar Bears defence but I think the Python’s thought the Palm Beach defence was going to be a cakewalk. While still accumulating 169 yards on the ground it came at 3.8 yards per carry. Look for Portland’s rushing game to bounce back and continue to dominate.

*Tijuana(2-1) vs Norfolk(1-2)*31-7
Tijuana dominated Norfolk from the first whistle of the game, with the final score 31-7. After a disappointing loss to the Marshalls, the vaunted “Area 51” defence came out in full force holding the Seawolves offence to only 7 points. Dark horse mvp candidate Marcella Toriki was held to 108 yards on 3.6 yards per carry. Gimmy Jaroppolo had about as good of a game as one could hope for but with the Seawolves rushing attack not being able to carry the load the Norfolk offense sputtered when it mattered most. The one-two combo of Osborn and Donut continues to power the Luchadores offence behind the dominant wall of an offensive line. Reports out of Tijuana are that back up running back Osborn will be switching to Defensive End after their week 4 matchup against Palm Beach and running back Fuzzy Dotson will be looking to get more touches. Defensively Beckham upfront and safety Howard Ryan in the backend powered the Area 51 defence, while Norfolk defensive end Clein Ferrel had a dominant outing, racking up 6 tackles, 4 tfls, and 1 sack. Look for Tijuana to dominate next week in another tuneup game against Palm Beach and for Norfolk to try and find some footing.

Breakout Performance of the week:Fuzzy Dotson
Fuzzy has made the quick transition from blocking full back to agile receiving back in a very short time. Week 3 he debuted his new receiving skills with 69 yards receiving on 4 catches including a dazzling 38 yard scamper on a swing pass. Dotson looks to be an integral part of the Luchadores offence moving forward.

Disappointing performance of the week:Norfolk’s offensive line
Having been a strong point for Norfolk and a focus in the draft, the Seawolves offensive line have opened up holes all season long for Toriki. They struggled mightily this afternoon to give Marcella any room to run, and put a temporary stop on the Marcella Hype. Is today's performance a sign of what is to be expected moving forward?

*Kansas City(0-3) vs San Antonio(3-0)*7-41
The Coyotes took a 7-3 lead halfway through the first quarter and after that is was all Marshall’s.
San Antonio followed up their week 2 thrashing of Tijuana with another dominant performance over Kansas City with a final score of 41-7. Quarterback McMahon only had to manage the game as Hanyadi and Ruff Ruff continue to run roughshod all over the league with another 235 yards and 3 TD’s in today’s game. Tyrone Biggums had another impressive outing with 46 yards and a pair of touchdowns from McMahon. CB Louisiana Purchase continues to give Pythons A.C. Payton competition for defensive back of the year with 3 deflections and 2 interceptions. On the Coyotes side of the ball Quarterback Longshaw continued to struggle, throwing another pair of interceptions. The Coyotes run game finally showed some signs of life as they rushed as a team for 181 yards at 5.2 yards per carry. Maurice Virtanen finally was out-tackled by teammate Net Gaines 14 to 13. Net Gaines also managed to pick up a sack which would be one of very few highlights for the Coyotes. Kansas City starts off the season a surprising 0 wins and 3 losses with San Antonio rolling to their 3rd straight win. Maybe it’s time for Kansas City to start scouting next years prospects and are we heading to a San Antonio vs Portland Ultimini?

Breakout Performance of the game:Mathias Hanyadi
Hanyadi had another signature big game with 158 yards and two touchdowns. With running mate Ruff Ruff taking frequent naps on the sideline, Hanyadi displayed the endurance and grit to put the Marshall’s offense on his back.

Disappointing performance of the game:Jay Longshaw
Behemoth quarterback Jay Longshaw continues to struggle at the DSFL level. Throwing another 2 interception game in his DSFL career, Longshaw displays why he has never been able to take the next step to get to the NSFL. Coyotes should be looking for a new quarterback in next year’s draft.


WEEK 4

*Portland(4-0) vs Norfolk(1-3)*45-20
Gimmy giveth but mostly Gimmy taketh away any hopes for a win by Norfolk. A competitive ball game through 3 quarters, Portland rattled off 24 straight points to put the young Norfolk team in its proverbial place. Jay Cue struggled for most of the night, but a few big plays by his receivers helped pad his yardage stat. The Pythons running game continued to be effective at grinding the game out and running the clock down. A.C. Payton led another turnover happy defence with 11 tackles, a tackle for a loss, 1 pass deflection and a pick-six. With two defensive touchdowns on the season the Pythons top defensive player has scored more points than touted running back Marcella Toriki. Speaking of, Toriki did her best Jerome Bettis impression grinding out 142 yards on 35 carries as defenses league wide continue to stack the box. Gimmy had two touchdown passes to Branders but tanked any hopes of a Norfolk win with 3 second-half interceptions. Cornerback Tyler Genis proved to be a lone standout with 4 pass deflections and an interception. DT Bjørn Ironside was a no show in todays game, only racking up 2 tackles. After 4 weeks of play Portland appears to be the real deal and the only undefeated team left in the DSFL. With Kansas City struggling, Norfolk still has an outside chance of making the playoffs.

Breakout Performance of the game:Tyler Genis
Tyler Genis put Pythons receivers on an island all night, batting away 4 passes and intercepting another. Does Norfolk have another up and coming White Cornerback on their hands or is this just a lone standout performance? I’m betting on seeing a few more dominant games from Genis moving forward.

Disappointing performance of the game:Bjørn Ironside
Bjørn once again failed to put up the stats expected of the #1 overall pick. Portland consistently won double team blocks against the big man that allowed the Pythons running backs to have a big day running in the middle. Ironside remains a weight room god, but questions are starting to rise as to whether his raw talent can translate to on-field success.

*Palm Beach(0-4)vs Tijuana(3-1)*7-30
On a night where MVP favorite Ducky Donut did not have his typical dominant performance the duo of QB McCann III and receiver Bender Rodriguez lit up the Solar Bears secondary. The pair connected 7 times for a whopping 128 yards and touchdown. McCann also managed to find TE Earl Sauce and WR Alexander Ryan for touchdowns. Osborn in his reported final game as a running back finished with 111 yards on 22 carries picking up the slack left by Donut’s off night. Defensively the Luchadores “Area 51” clamped down on the Solar Bears offense. QB Helmet was rag dolled all night as we was sacked 5 times and intercepted once. Second year DT Shane Masters collected two sacks at the expense of the Solar Bear’s league worst offensive line. Saftey Wayne Howyanow put and end to two Palm Beach drives in the 4th with a drive ending sack and an interception. Offensively there is not much to highlight for the Polar Bears with running back Allen picking up their lone TD. Helmet should probably be checked into concussion protocol at this point if the CTE has not already set in. With Palm Beach stacking up the box to stop the run most of the night, they left themselves open to being torched all night. McCann took advantage with 230 yards and 3 tds. With both the Marshalls and the Luchadores pulling away with 3 wins each, there appears to be little hope for the Solar Bears to reach the playoffs.

Breakout Performance of the game:Bender Rodriguez
With a crowded WR room at Tijuana, Bender established himself as a certified threat in the passing game. Polar Bears tried several defensive backs against Rodriguez, including double teams. None proved to be successful as the shifty receiver found himself open all night. Has Tijuana found their true #1?

Disappointing Performance of the game:Jake Utler
Jake could never find his footing in the game only rushing for 65 yards in a down night. As Jake Utler goes the Solar Bears offense typically goes. If Palm Beach has any hope of clawing themselves back into the playoff race it’s going to be on the back of Jake Utler and games like these will not cut it.

*San Antonio(3-1) vs Kansas City(1-3)*14-24
In the second of back to back games against San Antonio, Kansas City redeemed last week's embarrassing loss with a tough 24-14 victory. Maligned QB Jay Longshaw surprisingly had a nice outing throwing for 181 yards and 2 touchdowns with no turnovers. A true rarity in his career. Receiver Dexter Banks II caught 6 balls for 103 yards and two touchdowns, with the pair of Vincent and Drake finally posing a threat on the ground. The RB’s combined for 185 yards, proving that when KC commits to running the ball they can win ball games. Virtanen once again let the Coyotes with 12 tackles with teammate Net Gaines picking up 9 and a sack. Both Linebackers form a formidable pair that the Coyotes can build around. After having a monster game the previous week, Hanyadi struggled gaining only 62 yards on 18 attempts with Ruff Ruff having a respectable 96 yards and a score. The “Beerman” himself, Franchet had another sack and another tallboy at the ready, this time running straight to the field level broadcast camera and shotgunning his tallboy. HO still seems to be mum on the consumption of alcohol by players on the field. Standout Watkins also had a big day picking up 12 tackles, 1 tfl, 1 sack, and a pass deflection. Kansas City brought San Antonio back down to earth with tonight's win and swung the door back open for Tijuana to win the SFC South crown.

Breakout Performance of the game:Jay Longshaw
I did not think I would be putting Longshaw in this slot at any point this season. But after a turnover free performance with two touchdowns, I had a hard time not putting him in. The 6’7 260lbs QB stood strong in the pocket all night delivering key strikes when it mattered.

Disappointing Performance of the game:Mathias Hanyadi
Many figured that with last weeks 158 yard performance, that Hanyadi would follow it up with another monster game against the same defence. The Coyotes seemed to have the running backs number all night. With no runs going further than 7 yards, the frustration was evident as Ruff Ruff managed to find success against the same defense.

It’s been an exciting start of the season with plenty of drama to go around for everyone. We can only hope the season remains this explosive. I’m going to send it back to you, Bjørn.”

“Thank you for the report, Stacy. I’m loving all the action. Who could have expected the season to start off with as many high scoring games as we had? Even the guys at the bottom of the standings decided to step up and provide a bit of entertainment. I hope it just gets bigger and better from here on out and we can really get some upsets rolling. Next up, we’re going to look a bit deeper into our player performances from the past month of play.”

Position Analysis

“Every week you have some players who stand out a bit more than others. You have a top receiver or a top linebacker who really separates themselves from the pack. There are times that entire position groups stand out though, so what happens then? What happens when every team has a Safety who had a near career day? Or a group of running backs who shook the whole league? That is where our pal Jeremy Shoemaker comes in to dive into the standout position groups in our league. Care to take it over Jeremy?”

“Jeremy Shoemaker here with a breakdown of the first quarter of the season. There were some huge games in the first four weeks that showed big performances for the young superstars in the DSFL but we are going to look at the boys that make this possible, the linemen. That's right it's fair rub time for the breakfast boys. I'm going to break down the offensive linemen to see which big boy is the best of them all.

First we're going to take a look at the most important stat on the offensive line, pancakes. Of course big boy stats would be food related and for those of you that don't know a pancake is when a blocker knocks down a defender and flattens him like a pancake. So let's see who broke out the butter and syrup the most.

B. Ulysses, - 19

J. Smithson, - 15

S. Bakhtiari, - 15

G. Rubbe, - 14

T. Hoss, - 13

Tore Andre Flø, - 13

M. Dogan, - 13

So it looks like Tijuana's Ulysses took the most trips to the buffet bar with 19 pancakes in the first four games. The luchadores Tackle has been a monster for their offense leading the charge on many run plays and taking out defenders with him. The Solar Bears have two guys make our list as Rubbe and Smithson have been holding down Fort Palm Beach with a combined 29 pancakes between the two of them. The Marshals' only member on the list is Hoss who is a tight end showing that big boys come in all shapes and sizes with 13 pancakes for San Antonio's high flying offense.

Normally pancakes show the effectiveness of a lineman's run blocking ability and how well they can upend a defender but the offensive line needs to be able to protect its quarterback as well. Every pass play the QB needs to be able to trust his boys to make him a clean pocket to work from. Let's take a look at the best and the worst in this category.

Best:

B. Ulysses, - 0 sacks allowed

S. Bakhtiari, - 0 sacks allowed

M. Dogan, - 0 sacks allowed

F. Blockerman, - 0 sacks allowed

B. McCargue, - 0 sacks allowed

R. Kota, - 0 sacks allowed

B. Gordon, - 0 sacks allowed

Now there were a lot of lineman that didn't allow a sack but this list shows those lineman that also had over 10 pancakes to make sure the guys with the most playing time were recognized for their hard work. As you can see Ulysses, Bakhtiari, and Dogan were on our last list proving that they are impenetrable walls on pass and run plays. These big boys have really made a name for themselves in the first four weeks and don't be surprised to see them on draft boards. The luchadores have three lineman on this list showing how well they protect their QB and give him time to get the job done.

Now let's look at the worst:

T. Tonagai, - 3 sacks allowed

G. Rubbe, - 2 sacks allowed

J. Smithson, - 2 sacks allowed

Tore Andre Flø, - 2 sacks allowed

D. Schrute, - 2 sacks allowed

15 tied with 1 sack allowed

The Solar Bears have three guys that lead this list, three guys. Lead by Tonagai with 3 and followed by teammates Rubbe and Smithson with 2. Tonagai has had his struggles on the right side of Palm Beach's line facing some strong defenders but 3 sacks allowed in 4 games is really hard to look past. The coyotes aren't much better as they round out our list with two players; Flø and Schrute each with 2 allowed. No other team even has one guy with more than one sack given up.

Alright after breaking down individuals let's look at how the entire units have performed. With lineman being the backbone of a good offense this list should show which teams are performing the best by having the best line.

First we are going to see which team has bought the most blueberries and chocolate chips to add to their pancakes. These teams are the ones who battle in the trenches and push the defense around to let their running backs go free.

San Antonio Marshals - 72 Pancakes

Palm Beach Solar Bears - 67 Pancakes

Portland Pythons - 66 Pancakes

Tijuana Luchadores - 64 Pancakes

Kansas City Coyotes - 61 Pancakes

Norfolk Seawolves - 48 Pancakes

It's no surprise that the powerhouse offense of the Marshals are the IHOP of the DSFL as they lead the league with a commanding 72 pancakes. That is enough pancakes to give everyone in Vatican City 1/12th of a pancake, so you can say the Marshals are the most Holy team in the league. Palm Beach is somewhat of a surprise considering they are winless on the season but are still second on the list with 67 pancakes. This shows that the Solar Bears front office stood by their commitment of drafting four offensive linemen in the draft. Norfolk is really struggling only putting up 48 pancakes meaning they are not getting the kind of push that you'd like to get from a unit on run plays. This doesn't seem to stop Toriki as she still leads the league in rush yards but imagine what she could do with some more help in the trenches.

After seeing the run blocking units let's see the best pass blockers. Every team pays top money and draft picks for franchise quarterbacks and if they aren't protected then neither are their careers (looking at you Colts). So let's see who the best teams are protecting their quarterback.

Portland Pythons - 1 sack allowed

Tijuana luchadores - 1 sack allowed

Norfolk Seawolves - 3 sacks allowed

San Antonio Marshals - 4 sacks allowed

Kansas City Coyotes - 7 sacks allowed

Palm Beach Solar Bears - 10 sacks allowed

Portland and Tijuana both love their quarterbacks as they both have only allowed 1 sack through the first four weeks. Even more surprising is that both teams only sacks were given up by running backs meaning their big boys both have clean slates in the stat sheet. That is absolutely unreal. Palm Beach, However, gave up a league leading 10 sacks. I don't know if it's a result of bad coaching, chemistry, or the QB holding on to the ball to long but giving up 10 sacks in the first third of the season is not a good sign for their team or quarterback Phillip Helmets knees. The Solar Bears are on pace to give up 30 sacks this year which would be the worst since the S13 Solar Bears who gave up 34 sacks in one season. If Palm Beach doesn't find an answer soon then they could be in for a long season.

One more team we'd like to talk about is the Kansas City Coyotes. They haven't been talked about much because they have had poor numbers but not the worst in either category. They are the second worst in pancakes but we can't really fault them they are only behind the Marshals by 11 compared to Norfolk's 24 (which is unreal). They are also 5th in sacks allowed with 7 allowed. This team has had some lacklustre performances and poor games that are helped out by Palm Beach being worse. At least the Solar Bears and Seawolves have the excuse of being expansion teams. KC is an established team having a rough season.

So with all that said it's a real toss up between San Antonio, Tijuana and Portland of who the best unit is. The Marshals are an old school hand in the ground force that will run through any defense but have allowed some sacks which is a result of scoring a lot of points and having a lot of possessions. Tijuana is lead by a powerhouse in Ulysses that is a freight train they somehow put pads on, that hasn't allowed a sack as a unit. Portland seems to be the most well rounded team as they not only have only allowed 1 sack (by a running back) but also are third in the league in pancakes with 66, all while not having one single stand out pulling the load. So it's left up to a matter of opinion on which unit can be considered the best.

Alright now we need to look at the big boys of the defense. Just because there guys are slimmer and would rather hit the quarterback instead of protecting him doesn't mean they are getting a full fair rub. These guys in the trench battle against the biggest men on the planet need some recognition also. Defenses are like the evolution of man. Defensive backs are today's humans who play straight up, linebackers are just before today's humans because they play a little hunched over but the defensive line is the primal humanoids who are on all fours ready to attack. These vicious beasts don't get the love they deserve until today.

Let's start of with tackles. Normally this stat is filled up with linebackers and safeties because the D-line made holes in the O-line for them to run. So breaking down these big boys who do work from the line.

M. Taimatuia, DT - 30 tackles

S. Masters, DT - 19 tackles

B. Boop, DE - 17 tackles

R. Bunches, DE - 15 tackles

S. Oakman jr., DE - 14 tackles

A. Sandoval jr., DT - 14 tackles

Taimatuia has been a monster in the middle of Palm Beaches Defensive line causing havoc for his teammate Ammons behind him. Taimatuia leads all D-lineman in tackles and is 9th in the league overall. The Coyotes have two guys on this list with Bunches and Oakman Jr. Combining for 29 tackles which would still only put them in second on our list, showing just how dominate Taimatuia has been. The Marshals are the only team not to make our list with their top D-line tackler coming in at 9th (Franchet, 12)

Now when people talk about Defensive lineman they talk about sacks. These guys get paid by how much they can knock down the pretty boy in the pocket. That's what makes the big boy battle so great. You have 5 300+ pound guys fighting 4 260+ pound guys all game just for these big boys on the defense can do their sack dances. So let's see who took the most dance classes so far this season.

M. Franchet, DE - 3 sacks

T. Bacon, DT - 3 sacks

S. Masters, DT - 2 sacks

A. Sandoval jr., DT - 2 sacks

M. Beckham, DE - 2 sacks

B. Buckington, DE - 2 sacks

F. Baldari, DE, - 2 sacks

Franchet and Bacon both lead the league so far in sacks with 3 in 4 games showing a real knack for attacking the quarterback. The next five guys all had 2 sacks to round out our list and show that the big boys are working hard to stop pass plays their own way. Tijuana has three guys on this list showing that they're coach preaches sacking the quarterback and it is working. San Antonia and Portland both have two guys on this list and each splitting the sack leaders giving them feared defenses for opposing quarterbacks. Coyotes, Solar Bears and Seawolves didn't make our list which is really leaving their defensive coordinators asking for more with their teams amassing 6, 4, and 5 sacks respectively. Tijuana's sack leaders on this list alone match the sack total of the entire Kansas City team and are better than Norfolk and Palm Beach.

So next time you see a big boy in pads on the defensive side make sure to give him a fair rub because they seem to be the forgotten buffet boys even when they put up big numbers.”

“That is some great analysis, Jeremy. You had a bit of a surprise for our audience this week, didn’t you? A new wrinkle in your format.”

THE OTHER SHOE

“Absolutely, Bjørn. Now I'd like to introduce you to my new segment were each week I'm going to point out a stat or two that really stands out in a unique way.

This week the other shoe goes to Ruff Ruff.

The adorable San Antonio running back has put up outstanding rushing numbers and his loved league wide.

This lovable creature also has 3 pancakes so far this season. Nothing stops defenders faster than seeing this cute pup running at you full speed to give you the best licking of your life. When cuteness jumps in your lap you can't help but stay down.

So this week, Jeremy Shoemaker's other shoe goes to Ruff Ruff for his 3 pancakes, don't chew on it and be a good boy as always.

This has been Jeremy Shoemaker with S18 Sports Center. Back to you, Bjørn."

Power Rankings

"Thank you, Jeremy. We've taken a dive into the game and took an indepth look at the standouts. We’ve gotten a grip on some of what we can expect from these teams. We've seen some steel wall defenses and some offenses powered by rocket fuel. We've seen the great and the average and the bad. So let's get into this season's first official power rankings.”

1. Portland Pythons 4-0: It's hard to argue with the only undefeated team remaining in the number one spot. It is not just that they are undefeated though. All four of their wins have been dominant displays that have proven they are more than worthy of the spot. To this point, they have had

[DeadlyPlayer]

"Damnit Bjorn, you fuck. Great article, but if you're too noisy about the tallboys the HO is gonna start patting me down before games! I will hold you personally responsible!"

[Shadowz]

Bark

[Opera_Phantom]

This is good stuff

[Sermokala]

Don't like that disrespect for the #mallerballer Fabricio Baldari is the only defensive lineman with a forced fumble and fumble recovery. Easily worth more than another sack and should put him at the top of the D line rankings.

[Frostbite]

This is a very quality article, maybe some a special teams bit in there too next time?

[Dylandeluxe]

This is a very quality article, maybe some a special teams bit in there too next time?

What's special teams?


Joking but I will keep that in mind next time.

[Hallmonitor_20]

Bark

Bark Bark Bark, Bark Bark Bark Bark

(Your cuteness is unmatched and your coat is fabulous)