09-12-2019, 01:44 PM
(This post was last modified: 09-15-2019, 11:28 AM by goodvsevil1275.)
Note: The opinions expressed in letters to the editor are those of the authors. They do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of NSFL Weekly or its members.
To the Editor of NSFL Weekly,
Long time reader, first time writing in. I love this magazine, and I look forward to getting it in my inbox each week. I grew up in Virginia Beach, and have been a lifelong fan of the Seawolves. I grew up going to the stadium to see the boys in blue working it out of the gridiron. I recently moved to Chula Vista, California for work, which, as you may imagine, isn’t the easiest place to be a Seawolves supporter. This is Tijuana country and their fans are a pretty outspoken group, so when I moved here, I expected there to be some tension between me and the locals. I try not to be too loud about it. I don’t want to step on any toes. I have my lucky Seawolves key chain and a tasteful window sticker on my car. My husband and I have found a local bar where a few other Norfolk fans meet up and it’s been enjoyable to find a slice of home here. Sure, we aren’t winning, but we’re still having a fun season.
Now, I don’t really see screaming about football to be something productive. I’m not writing to defend my team or to pick fights with anyone. Regardless of who you’re cheering for, we’re all lovers of the game, and that’s enough for me. But I figured that the experience I just had is worth sharing with the world. The attached letter was placed under my windshield wiper alongside a dead frog in a miniature seawolves jersey. The jersey appears to be hand sewn. I don’t know where the sender obtained this frog, which appears to be a Maud Island Frog. My best friend, a herpetologist, tells me that this frog is native to New Zealand. So either he has stolen a frog from a zoo somewhere or has connections to rare frog traders. I’m unsure if this is meant as a threat of some kind, or if I should feel unsafe. Regardless, I hope that the readers of NSFL Weekly find some measure of value or entertainment in hearing from this individual.
Best,
SeaPupper93
To the smug little Seawolf that stole my parking spot at the Ralph’s on Palamar St.
I can forgive you for taking my spot this one time. What I cannot forgive is the mark of evil you have placed on your back window. I wonder if you have been led astray, or if you are truly stupid enough to still be supporting the cursed Norfolk Seawolves.
I was lost too once, drawn to the light of the great Gimmy as he moved to the east for a single ephemeral moment. But that star has come home to the west, and it is time to throw off the colors and emblems of the betrayers. The GOAT is back on the roster for Tijuana. Reassess your priorities, you Prius-driving punk.
Norfolk is a team full of selfish players that couldn’t play their way out of a paper bag. Their offensive line is a joke. I’ve seen better blocking from a rubber duck. I’m pretty sure my toddlers could clear more lanes than the men they’ve got on the field. To continue to support such a sad bunch of failures is an exercise in futility. Sure, the trash magazines are calling them promising young stars in the making. But everyone knows that those mouthbreathing hacks are only good for talking smack and eating tacos. As if they even have real tacos in FUCKING VIRGINIA.
The real tacos, like the real talent, are found in Tijuana. Gimmy Jarrapolo lies in wait, bracing for the right moment to once again grace the field. And when that day comes? There will be nothing that can stop Tijuana from crushing Norfolk under their heel. Are you ready for the game this week? It is time to make your peace with the fact that Norfolk has no chance of getting anywhere, not this season, not ever. I look forward to watching your darling players fail you over and over again, just as they failed me, and as they failed the great Gimmy Jarrapolo.
I wish you all the worst,
GimmyFan69
P.S Don’t you ever take my parking spot again, you stale baguette, or I swear on the holy name of Jarrapolo that the next time you see your car, it’ll be Lucha colored.
To the Editor of NSFL Weekly,
Long time reader, first time writing in. I love this magazine, and I look forward to getting it in my inbox each week. I grew up in Virginia Beach, and have been a lifelong fan of the Seawolves. I grew up going to the stadium to see the boys in blue working it out of the gridiron. I recently moved to Chula Vista, California for work, which, as you may imagine, isn’t the easiest place to be a Seawolves supporter. This is Tijuana country and their fans are a pretty outspoken group, so when I moved here, I expected there to be some tension between me and the locals. I try not to be too loud about it. I don’t want to step on any toes. I have my lucky Seawolves key chain and a tasteful window sticker on my car. My husband and I have found a local bar where a few other Norfolk fans meet up and it’s been enjoyable to find a slice of home here. Sure, we aren’t winning, but we’re still having a fun season.
Now, I don’t really see screaming about football to be something productive. I’m not writing to defend my team or to pick fights with anyone. Regardless of who you’re cheering for, we’re all lovers of the game, and that’s enough for me. But I figured that the experience I just had is worth sharing with the world. The attached letter was placed under my windshield wiper alongside a dead frog in a miniature seawolves jersey. The jersey appears to be hand sewn. I don’t know where the sender obtained this frog, which appears to be a Maud Island Frog. My best friend, a herpetologist, tells me that this frog is native to New Zealand. So either he has stolen a frog from a zoo somewhere or has connections to rare frog traders. I’m unsure if this is meant as a threat of some kind, or if I should feel unsafe. Regardless, I hope that the readers of NSFL Weekly find some measure of value or entertainment in hearing from this individual.
Best,
SeaPupper93
To the smug little Seawolf that stole my parking spot at the Ralph’s on Palamar St.
I can forgive you for taking my spot this one time. What I cannot forgive is the mark of evil you have placed on your back window. I wonder if you have been led astray, or if you are truly stupid enough to still be supporting the cursed Norfolk Seawolves.
I was lost too once, drawn to the light of the great Gimmy as he moved to the east for a single ephemeral moment. But that star has come home to the west, and it is time to throw off the colors and emblems of the betrayers. The GOAT is back on the roster for Tijuana. Reassess your priorities, you Prius-driving punk.
Norfolk is a team full of selfish players that couldn’t play their way out of a paper bag. Their offensive line is a joke. I’ve seen better blocking from a rubber duck. I’m pretty sure my toddlers could clear more lanes than the men they’ve got on the field. To continue to support such a sad bunch of failures is an exercise in futility. Sure, the trash magazines are calling them promising young stars in the making. But everyone knows that those mouthbreathing hacks are only good for talking smack and eating tacos. As if they even have real tacos in FUCKING VIRGINIA.
The real tacos, like the real talent, are found in Tijuana. Gimmy Jarrapolo lies in wait, bracing for the right moment to once again grace the field. And when that day comes? There will be nothing that can stop Tijuana from crushing Norfolk under their heel. Are you ready for the game this week? It is time to make your peace with the fact that Norfolk has no chance of getting anywhere, not this season, not ever. I look forward to watching your darling players fail you over and over again, just as they failed me, and as they failed the great Gimmy Jarrapolo.
I wish you all the worst,
GimmyFan69
P.S Don’t you ever take my parking spot again, you stale baguette, or I swear on the holy name of Jarrapolo that the next time you see your car, it’ll be Lucha colored.
![[Image: sig_bot.PNG?width=1082&height=870]](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/945726557954134057/945731601613070376/sig_bot.PNG?width=1082&height=870)
![[Image: sack_1.mp4]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/663802639628369920/762527029585248276/sack_1.mp4)
![[Image: woody.jpg?width=343&height=426]](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/746110496431800440/817809669291769876/woody.jpg?width=343&height=426)
![[Image: gump_hof.jpg?width=469&height=586]](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/610897595358773249/894377246037524497/gump_hof.jpg?width=469&height=586)
![[Image: Harper_2.png]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/612864475883896852/914101862691663932/Harper_2.png)
