[Hello. Ready to grade and to be split 50/50 between Jsteele and myself. Bwest will confirm in comments. It is roughly 3950 words long]
We join a television set with a really big green scene in the background. In front of it however are 4 total comfy looking leather chairs with a few desks with a glass of water on them. This is actually in front of a rather large and currently on camera. It should also be noted that everything is looking festival as fuck! Christmas party directions are everywhere around them including a stupidly big tree. In the most left leather chair is the interviewer. You guessed it right, it is another interview time! This time we have the surprising line up of James Bishop, Pete Parker and Laszlo Forty-Two! So, yeah. Basically the same three people we had from the Colorado Yeti as last time. But this time the interview will be Easter and Halloween themed! I am just kidding, of course it is X-mas themed!
The Interviewer: Hello! Just a huge festive welcome to another interview with some of the Colorado Yeti players from the newer drafted players, some being around for a while and is one of the captains and one of the vets and best players the Colorado Yeti have! Respectively we have James Bishop, Pete Parker and Laszlo Forty-Two with us tonight! Thank you all for joining me. Well, without further ado! Let us get started! Your first question is a simple one…How has the Christmas period been like for you so far?
Laszlo Forty-Two: It has been...Interesting for Laszlo. The Laz got a visit from fellow cultist called Mr. 79. His job within cult is to basically tell you what our lord believes we are doing and whether or not we need a reminder. Luckily for Laszlo he is doing rather well. Laszlo managed to do the best so far in this league’s Development league and is continuing to help the colorado Yeti improve. The cult is looking for me to perhaps win award in this league but ultimate goal is to win a championship and bring it to my team.
Mr. 79 was a rather weird person. Highly dry and sarcastic. Also ordered pizza without consent of asking Mr. Forty-Two what he wanted to eat. He is lucky Laszlo could not hurt him. Truth being told it was much needed wake up call for Laszlo. Gives him belief he is on the right course and just needs to hurt people now.
James Bishop: So far everything has been great. There are lots of Christmas presents under the tree for me. Some of them are from Santa and some are from my parents. I am very eager to open them and see what is inside. We won our last two match ups which solidified our spot in the playoffs. We now head to Baltimore to take on the Hawks at home. The birdcage is a difficult place to play, playoffs or not. This is not a movie with Robin Williams, this is real life. Go Yeti!
Pete Parker: Christmas time around her is pretty nice. I mean the family is still trying to adjust and all to this new area, but we are still trying to enjoy the holidays. We used to like adventuring around Time Square during this time, but since we don’t really live there anymore we kind of want to find something new to do, but aren’t too sure what. Just really have been relaxing at home getting accustomed to our new home.
The Interviewer: The next question for you fine gentlemen is... What exactly are you all wishing to be under your tree this Christmas?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo would like a handful of things.
This is the most important. But depending on how play-offs go Laszlo may be wanting new quarter of the backs. Laszlo getting close to hurting Wolfie McDummy like he has hurt Yeti fans and Laszlo. Not to mention other puny team mates. Do not get Laszlo wrong. Mr. McDummy is nice person. So is Laszlo though. So need him to show up in play offs this season.
Mariah Carey to stop singing painful song. Do not get Laszlo incorrectly again. The Laz does not mind the song “All Laszlo wants for Christmas is you” but Mr. Forty-Two has huge limits. Song is overplayed. This needs to be played less or Laszlo will hurt people. Cut the head off of the snake with Mariah and everything will be well again.
Laszlo would like to get some new gym equipment. Laszlo’s routine is rather intense and long. But getting more equipment or abilities to do other exercises to make it more flexible is what Mr. Forty-Two requires. This would be cheap on Colorado Yeti wages so he is hoping some of his team mates takes the hint and gives Laszlo what he wants for christmas.
James Bishop: I am hoping that my parents get me some new football equipment. I have been asking for it all year and I have had to buy my own. I would like some better equipment and I’m hoping my parents to cheap out on me. Santa should bring me a football. I could really use another one to practice with. I don’t want a Nerf football or anything like he got me last year. I want a real one. Something I can use to play with my friends and not feel ashamed.
Pete Parker: Is it bad if I go for a cheesy route on this question? I could easily just bring up the fact that I want a Yeti championship to be under my Christmas tree right? Like what else could you ask for being a football player and that being the best thing you could get? On the more realistic side though, I would love to get some more training gear for myself. Any type of way to improve my game and make me a better overall player. That is the main thing I look for. Also, I prefer people not to really by me things, but more do something from the heart. Either putting something together meaningful or do something that includes us between memories or whatever it may be. Honestly, the more thoughtful presents are better in my opinion than anything that you can buy.
The Interviewer: Hmm, I see, I see! Well, how do you usually celebrate the Christmas holidays? Do you and your family have any unique or just plain weird traditions?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo is in cult! Of course we do things differently. Some of us just do not care about it, some of us get stupidly festive about it, it depends on the individual. Laszlo personally only care about two things. Presents to see what people have given The Laz and the food on Christmas day and the day after Christmas day. Laszlo like to pig out and eat whatever he wants over holiday period before going back on strict diet and punishing himself for being like puny people who refuse to work out.
James Bishop: It’s always been normal for me but apparently finding a pickle in the tree is weird. Some of the other players make fun of me for it. But I like to find the pickle and get an extra special present. Last year I got a jersey from my favorite football player, my Uncle Ezekiel Bishop. It isn’t game worn or anything but it was authentic. I put it in my room in a shadow box so it does not get ruined.
Pete Parker: My family is more traditional when it comes to the whole Christmas thing. Like we don’t do much out of the ordinary. We just wake up pretty damn early if you ask me just because the kids all want to be awake and get to opening their presents. We all make a breakfast as a family and watch all of the kids excitement of opening all of their new toys, their games or whatever it may be. We then eat as a family and then the rest of us adults take turn opening gifts and just enjoy some family time and relax. This can sound pretty cheesy but the best part is just to be around family.
The Interviewer: I just have to ask out of interest. Please, all of you. Tell me what your favourite Christmas song and Christmas movie of all time is!
Pete Parker: Easy! It may get stuck in everyone’s head and be pretty Cliche, but it’s gotta be Mariah Carey’s song. The one you here allllll the time around Christmas. It is really the best. And the best Christmas movie to me has got to be Home Alone. Not really a specific one, honestly just the first two. To me the third one doesn’t really tie all in together and feel the same. Probably because they changed the whole cast and just feels like a different movie, may just be me.
Laszlo Forty-Two: This is one of the easiest answers Laszlo has ever received in his career! His favourite song is easily Wham’s Last Christmas song. Wham was a very good band. People with good none puny music taste would agree with me. Last Christmas is just one of the best songs you can hear. It is also sad that George Michael died on Christmas day a few years back. Laszlo feel sad for a moment.
Mr. Forty-Two must give shout out to song that has lines “So here it is, Merry Xmas, Everybody is having fun. Look to the future now, It's only just begun!” Is also a good song.
As for Laszlo’s favourite Christmas movie? Can be tough. Die Hard 1 truly hits the Christmas spirit on the head but the rest of them after the 2nd movie are terrible cash grabs to Laszlo. Perhaps Alan Rickman as Hanz Gruber just makes it considering how strong Alan Rickman was.
Laszlo Forty-Two would pick Muppet’s Christmas Carol as the best movie though. Home Alone and Home Improvement man murdering santa can decent but Michael Caine vs Kermit the Frog is legendary battle for the life of the tiniest of Tims! Laszlo enjoy it very much.
James Bishop: Oh I love that one song… what was it. Hrmmm. Oh! Feliz Navidad! What a timeless wonder. It has all the things you want to hear in a Christmas song and when you are walking down a road and there’s other Yeti in the street and they are there looking at you with their yellow eyes. I once ran 1000 yards in the snow. I was there, it was the best. I am the best.
The Interviewer: Um... James?
James Bishop: Huh?
The Interviewer: Do you have a favorite movie?
James Bishop: Yeah, I like Die Hard. It’s a great Christmas movie. There are so many Ho Ho Ho’s and Christmas songs. There are Christmas trees and santa hats. There are machine guns and fights too, but what good Christmas movie doesn’t have those things. I mean if you watch closely at Rudolph you can see the machine guns. They are there and they make the movie so much better if you see them. Him with his bright red nose flying through the air and no one likes him and he doesn’t have a home. Then Santa has a need for him so everyone just likes him because the popular guy needs him. It’s a really heartwarming story. A story I like is a time that I went to Chicago and I ate a pizza. It was so thick. Each piece was like a meal. There was no better time in the world. I am proof of that. Then there was this one time…
The Interviewer: James, are you okay?
James Bishop: Yeah, why?
The Interviewer: No reason, let’s continue. So now that we know the how, who do you usually spend time with during the Christmas period?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo will be spending it with his little pudding. The Laz loves his dog. He get him new and improved dog house for outside and toys. Perhaps someone from cult also show up but Laszlo live in the mountains of Colorado. Is rather cold for the puny people to be up there. Also something about lack of oxygen or something. Perhaps maybe even a team mate or two will pop over. Mr. Forty-Two is not against this but overall that also seems doubtful.
James Bishop: I got to my parents house where I live. They said that I would eventually move out but that hasn’t happened yet. I know I will someday, but who knows when that will be, haha. I like to play in the snow. My mom said not to eat the yellow snow as we don’t know why it’s yellow. Sometimes I sneak a little bit. Just to be naughty. My dad and I will have snowball fights. I always win. I think it’s because he’s old. Hold on, I need to take my pills. *pop* *gurgle* *slurp* *pop*. There. The doctor says it will help my brain. But we will see.
Pete Parker: I feel like I already said this earlier, but I just like to spend time with the family all day during Christmas. I feel that is what the whole day is for to be honest. But, I cannot forget about my friends and fellow teammates too, we just schedule something at a later day. Probably around New Years day as I feel that is more of the whole party scene.
The Interviewer: Christmas time is also a time for festive foods and over eating leading to painful heartburn. What food and drink are you mainly looking forward to having this time round?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Like The Laz mentioned a little while ago. He likes to take about 3 or 4 days a year to just treat himself and that is around Christmas time before getting back to intense session. It is simple. Doritos can be bought a long with the amazing dips. Chocolates. Laszlo does not care what brand or type. The main meal with whatever meat Laszlo wants to eat. Coca Cola and Dr Pepper for a treat.
Most importantly alcohol. Laszlo loves rum and whisky. But also frilly woo woos which a type of cocktail he believes. Orange and vodka with other things in it. It may sound like girl based drink but Laszlo knows how to break glass and cut every vital point on the human body so insult his tasty drink with caution. Would settle for Baileys or anything though. Laszlo is not picky during these 3 or 4 rest days.
Pete Parker: Ooohh, this has got to be ham. The family ham is the best. It is really juicy and just has a sweet taste to it. I am not going to share how it is made as that is a Parker family recipe and is just something that you need to experience yourself at the family gathering. Or if you are lucky, we may make it another time in the year. The only time that it is guaranteed is around the holidays. If you can guess how it is done after you eat it, we will share the recipe.
James Bishop: I had eggnog once. It was like crazy milk.
The Interviewer: With food and drink out of the way, I would like to know what you will be buying others for under the christmas tree when they open up your presents on Christmas morning?!
Laszlo Forty-Two: Why would Laszlo tell you this piece of key information?! Are you spy?! Mr. Forty-Two will eliminate you before you ever get a chance to tell anyone! Oh. This is coming out Christmas day isn’t it. Okay. Laszlo will tell you then.
The Laz’s puppy, Little Pudding, is getting all new toys and a lovely upgraded outside dog house although he sleep inside. Overall, Laszlo not really get much of anything else past chocolates, money or cars for friends that they really wanted or needed. It was easy enough to buy for them all.
James Bishop: Oh I don’t buy Christmas gifts. I don’t believe in it. I think it’s a capitalist scam to promote economic stimulus. All you sheepel will be out spending your hard earned money on other people, even people you don’t like. I once bought a gift for my mom. It was awful. I had to wait in line for ever waiting to give my hard earned money to them for something they had sitting on a shelf. What kind of business is that? That’s terrible. Things should just be. If I want something I should walk in. flash my card and walk out. Done, simple. No lines, no waiting. I don’t like to wait.
Pete Parker: To be honest, I like to spoil my friends and family. They may not ask for a lot, but I like to give them things they need or something that they have wanted for a long time. Not everyone will get these things though because sadly, there are some people, may it be some family members or some so called friends that try to take advantage of your generosity. By acting like because I have all this money I am required to give them things. For that, I just give them a small item that obviously is something that they want or need, but that is al. Nothing else.
The Interviewer: So with all that said, what would you Colorado Yeti players say is the best present you ever received at Christmas time?
Laszlo Forty-Two: This is simple answer for The Laz. It would be one of two presents. At age 10 Laszlo Forty-Two have his first ever Christmas in States of United America. Was rather weird to be experiencing. Laszlo’s mother give him puppy. A German Shepherd & Corgi mix. Basically imagine a regular sized German Shepherd but then shrine it to half the size. It was cute. It became Laszlo’s best friend.
Either that or just before I joined the Goal Line Blitz League at age 16 Mr. Forty-Two gained his official cult tattoo Christmas before it. Some said it would stink or hurt but in the end the injection needle passed out and begged for no more. No mercy was given as I required the final thing for Mr. Forty-Two to become Mr. Forty-Two officially.
Both of these presents meant the whole world to Laszlo. Is hard to imagine Laszlo would ever have Christmas presents that can beat either of them.
Pete Parker: This is kind of a tough one as I do not really like asking for gifts like I said earlier, but there was a time that I did go crazy if I had to think about it. Back when I was a young kid, roughly around the time of me being in the second or maybe the third grade. I can’t exactly remember the age, anyway, I had woken up really early and came downstairs to see everyone already at the Christmas tree. Yes, I was the child that slept in all the time as I liked to stay up and play video games. Trying to think about it, I believe back then I was playing the Super Nintendo. So I would be up pretty late trying to beat levels or just trying to defeat Bowser. Anyway, i’m starting to ramble on a lot, but the point is, I remember waking up late, and running down stairs to see like maybe three to four presents to me. You know when you can tell if a gift looks like it will be clothes, or if it is something small? Yeah, a few of those were looking like that. But, there was this one present there that looked...different. Like it looked like the size of this new system that came out recently called the Play Station. You know, like the original one. The one that had Crash Bandicoot, Spyro, and those types of games. Anyway, I opened it up and sure enough that’s exactly what it was. That gift was the most exciting thing of my childhood. I would relive that if I could.
James Bishop: I once received a house from my parents. It was so cool. I could do whatever I wanted there. It really was an amazing gift. Then they told me that I needed to pay taxes on it and I was like nah. I gave it away after I found that out.
The Interviewer: You gave away a house?
James Bishop: Yeah! I wasn’t going to pay for that when i could live with my parents for free, are you nuts. How could you possibly think that having to pay for something is a good idea? Money doesn’t grow on trees. What if I spent a million of my dollars? Then I’d only have a few hundred millions left! I can’t afford to lose money on taxes that I have to pay every year. I don’t know how much that it would add up too, but whatever it is, it’d be too much!
The Interviewer: I may as well ask you all whilst I have you about the next event. The new decade approaching. Twenty Twenty! Do you have anything special planned for the New Years Eve night? Or perhaps anything planned for the actual New Years Day?
Laszlo Forty-Two: As of right now Laszlo has not made any plans for the whole New Years Eve Day nor the actual New Years Day. It is a week away and during that week after Boxing Day or St Stephen’s Day as some call it Mr. Forty-Two will be doing an intense work out to get body in tip top shape again!
Perhaps something very specific will come up in the near future but Laszlo is not bothered by this just yet. We do not get fireworks around my mansion’s location and that means it is not scary for Little Pudding. Perhaps The Laz shall just finish off all the bad food or alcohol he has remaining on those days specifically. A part from that. Laszlo Forty-Two does not have a definite answer for you.
James Bishop: I will be working on New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. There is not much that is significant about that day for me. I just need to remember to write the correct year instead of last year. But that is in the future and not now so I don’t have to worry about that right now. I just need to focus on what I am doing so I can move to the next step. You don’t even know how hard it is to be a person who goes out and does those sorts of things and live with the guilt of it all, all the time.
Pete Parker: I think honestly what I am going to do is spend it with my friends back in New York City. Just spend it at Time Square and be cliche about it or probably just sit back and chill at the house playing some board games of something.
The Interviewer: Well, that is it. You have heard all the answers from our players! Usually we would end this with a few words from the people being interviewed but they all agreed to basically and collectively say Merry Christmas to you all. If you find Christmas a depressing or stressful time, you for sure get the biggest happy holidays and know that it is nearly bloody over for another god damn year. But for those who are enjoying it, I hope the rest of the holidays are going perfect and you enjoy time with your loved ones.
So with that being said it is a good bye from me and a big good bye from Pete Parker, Laszlo Forty-Two and James Bishop! Until we talk again!
We join a television set with a really big green scene in the background. In front of it however are 4 total comfy looking leather chairs with a few desks with a glass of water on them. This is actually in front of a rather large and currently on camera. It should also be noted that everything is looking festival as fuck! Christmas party directions are everywhere around them including a stupidly big tree. In the most left leather chair is the interviewer. You guessed it right, it is another interview time! This time we have the surprising line up of James Bishop, Pete Parker and Laszlo Forty-Two! So, yeah. Basically the same three people we had from the Colorado Yeti as last time. But this time the interview will be Easter and Halloween themed! I am just kidding, of course it is X-mas themed!
The Interviewer: Hello! Just a huge festive welcome to another interview with some of the Colorado Yeti players from the newer drafted players, some being around for a while and is one of the captains and one of the vets and best players the Colorado Yeti have! Respectively we have James Bishop, Pete Parker and Laszlo Forty-Two with us tonight! Thank you all for joining me. Well, without further ado! Let us get started! Your first question is a simple one…How has the Christmas period been like for you so far?
Laszlo Forty-Two: It has been...Interesting for Laszlo. The Laz got a visit from fellow cultist called Mr. 79. His job within cult is to basically tell you what our lord believes we are doing and whether or not we need a reminder. Luckily for Laszlo he is doing rather well. Laszlo managed to do the best so far in this league’s Development league and is continuing to help the colorado Yeti improve. The cult is looking for me to perhaps win award in this league but ultimate goal is to win a championship and bring it to my team.
Mr. 79 was a rather weird person. Highly dry and sarcastic. Also ordered pizza without consent of asking Mr. Forty-Two what he wanted to eat. He is lucky Laszlo could not hurt him. Truth being told it was much needed wake up call for Laszlo. Gives him belief he is on the right course and just needs to hurt people now.
James Bishop: So far everything has been great. There are lots of Christmas presents under the tree for me. Some of them are from Santa and some are from my parents. I am very eager to open them and see what is inside. We won our last two match ups which solidified our spot in the playoffs. We now head to Baltimore to take on the Hawks at home. The birdcage is a difficult place to play, playoffs or not. This is not a movie with Robin Williams, this is real life. Go Yeti!
Pete Parker: Christmas time around her is pretty nice. I mean the family is still trying to adjust and all to this new area, but we are still trying to enjoy the holidays. We used to like adventuring around Time Square during this time, but since we don’t really live there anymore we kind of want to find something new to do, but aren’t too sure what. Just really have been relaxing at home getting accustomed to our new home.
The Interviewer: The next question for you fine gentlemen is... What exactly are you all wishing to be under your tree this Christmas?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo would like a handful of things.
This is the most important. But depending on how play-offs go Laszlo may be wanting new quarter of the backs. Laszlo getting close to hurting Wolfie McDummy like he has hurt Yeti fans and Laszlo. Not to mention other puny team mates. Do not get Laszlo wrong. Mr. McDummy is nice person. So is Laszlo though. So need him to show up in play offs this season.
Mariah Carey to stop singing painful song. Do not get Laszlo incorrectly again. The Laz does not mind the song “All Laszlo wants for Christmas is you” but Mr. Forty-Two has huge limits. Song is overplayed. This needs to be played less or Laszlo will hurt people. Cut the head off of the snake with Mariah and everything will be well again.
Laszlo would like to get some new gym equipment. Laszlo’s routine is rather intense and long. But getting more equipment or abilities to do other exercises to make it more flexible is what Mr. Forty-Two requires. This would be cheap on Colorado Yeti wages so he is hoping some of his team mates takes the hint and gives Laszlo what he wants for christmas.
James Bishop: I am hoping that my parents get me some new football equipment. I have been asking for it all year and I have had to buy my own. I would like some better equipment and I’m hoping my parents to cheap out on me. Santa should bring me a football. I could really use another one to practice with. I don’t want a Nerf football or anything like he got me last year. I want a real one. Something I can use to play with my friends and not feel ashamed.
Pete Parker: Is it bad if I go for a cheesy route on this question? I could easily just bring up the fact that I want a Yeti championship to be under my Christmas tree right? Like what else could you ask for being a football player and that being the best thing you could get? On the more realistic side though, I would love to get some more training gear for myself. Any type of way to improve my game and make me a better overall player. That is the main thing I look for. Also, I prefer people not to really by me things, but more do something from the heart. Either putting something together meaningful or do something that includes us between memories or whatever it may be. Honestly, the more thoughtful presents are better in my opinion than anything that you can buy.
The Interviewer: Hmm, I see, I see! Well, how do you usually celebrate the Christmas holidays? Do you and your family have any unique or just plain weird traditions?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo is in cult! Of course we do things differently. Some of us just do not care about it, some of us get stupidly festive about it, it depends on the individual. Laszlo personally only care about two things. Presents to see what people have given The Laz and the food on Christmas day and the day after Christmas day. Laszlo like to pig out and eat whatever he wants over holiday period before going back on strict diet and punishing himself for being like puny people who refuse to work out.
James Bishop: It’s always been normal for me but apparently finding a pickle in the tree is weird. Some of the other players make fun of me for it. But I like to find the pickle and get an extra special present. Last year I got a jersey from my favorite football player, my Uncle Ezekiel Bishop. It isn’t game worn or anything but it was authentic. I put it in my room in a shadow box so it does not get ruined.
Pete Parker: My family is more traditional when it comes to the whole Christmas thing. Like we don’t do much out of the ordinary. We just wake up pretty damn early if you ask me just because the kids all want to be awake and get to opening their presents. We all make a breakfast as a family and watch all of the kids excitement of opening all of their new toys, their games or whatever it may be. We then eat as a family and then the rest of us adults take turn opening gifts and just enjoy some family time and relax. This can sound pretty cheesy but the best part is just to be around family.
The Interviewer: I just have to ask out of interest. Please, all of you. Tell me what your favourite Christmas song and Christmas movie of all time is!
Pete Parker: Easy! It may get stuck in everyone’s head and be pretty Cliche, but it’s gotta be Mariah Carey’s song. The one you here allllll the time around Christmas. It is really the best. And the best Christmas movie to me has got to be Home Alone. Not really a specific one, honestly just the first two. To me the third one doesn’t really tie all in together and feel the same. Probably because they changed the whole cast and just feels like a different movie, may just be me.
Laszlo Forty-Two: This is one of the easiest answers Laszlo has ever received in his career! His favourite song is easily Wham’s Last Christmas song. Wham was a very good band. People with good none puny music taste would agree with me. Last Christmas is just one of the best songs you can hear. It is also sad that George Michael died on Christmas day a few years back. Laszlo feel sad for a moment.
Mr. Forty-Two must give shout out to song that has lines “So here it is, Merry Xmas, Everybody is having fun. Look to the future now, It's only just begun!” Is also a good song.
As for Laszlo’s favourite Christmas movie? Can be tough. Die Hard 1 truly hits the Christmas spirit on the head but the rest of them after the 2nd movie are terrible cash grabs to Laszlo. Perhaps Alan Rickman as Hanz Gruber just makes it considering how strong Alan Rickman was.
Laszlo Forty-Two would pick Muppet’s Christmas Carol as the best movie though. Home Alone and Home Improvement man murdering santa can decent but Michael Caine vs Kermit the Frog is legendary battle for the life of the tiniest of Tims! Laszlo enjoy it very much.
James Bishop: Oh I love that one song… what was it. Hrmmm. Oh! Feliz Navidad! What a timeless wonder. It has all the things you want to hear in a Christmas song and when you are walking down a road and there’s other Yeti in the street and they are there looking at you with their yellow eyes. I once ran 1000 yards in the snow. I was there, it was the best. I am the best.
The Interviewer: Um... James?
James Bishop: Huh?
The Interviewer: Do you have a favorite movie?
James Bishop: Yeah, I like Die Hard. It’s a great Christmas movie. There are so many Ho Ho Ho’s and Christmas songs. There are Christmas trees and santa hats. There are machine guns and fights too, but what good Christmas movie doesn’t have those things. I mean if you watch closely at Rudolph you can see the machine guns. They are there and they make the movie so much better if you see them. Him with his bright red nose flying through the air and no one likes him and he doesn’t have a home. Then Santa has a need for him so everyone just likes him because the popular guy needs him. It’s a really heartwarming story. A story I like is a time that I went to Chicago and I ate a pizza. It was so thick. Each piece was like a meal. There was no better time in the world. I am proof of that. Then there was this one time…
The Interviewer: James, are you okay?
James Bishop: Yeah, why?
The Interviewer: No reason, let’s continue. So now that we know the how, who do you usually spend time with during the Christmas period?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo will be spending it with his little pudding. The Laz loves his dog. He get him new and improved dog house for outside and toys. Perhaps someone from cult also show up but Laszlo live in the mountains of Colorado. Is rather cold for the puny people to be up there. Also something about lack of oxygen or something. Perhaps maybe even a team mate or two will pop over. Mr. Forty-Two is not against this but overall that also seems doubtful.
James Bishop: I got to my parents house where I live. They said that I would eventually move out but that hasn’t happened yet. I know I will someday, but who knows when that will be, haha. I like to play in the snow. My mom said not to eat the yellow snow as we don’t know why it’s yellow. Sometimes I sneak a little bit. Just to be naughty. My dad and I will have snowball fights. I always win. I think it’s because he’s old. Hold on, I need to take my pills. *pop* *gurgle* *slurp* *pop*. There. The doctor says it will help my brain. But we will see.
Pete Parker: I feel like I already said this earlier, but I just like to spend time with the family all day during Christmas. I feel that is what the whole day is for to be honest. But, I cannot forget about my friends and fellow teammates too, we just schedule something at a later day. Probably around New Years day as I feel that is more of the whole party scene.
The Interviewer: Christmas time is also a time for festive foods and over eating leading to painful heartburn. What food and drink are you mainly looking forward to having this time round?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Like The Laz mentioned a little while ago. He likes to take about 3 or 4 days a year to just treat himself and that is around Christmas time before getting back to intense session. It is simple. Doritos can be bought a long with the amazing dips. Chocolates. Laszlo does not care what brand or type. The main meal with whatever meat Laszlo wants to eat. Coca Cola and Dr Pepper for a treat.
Most importantly alcohol. Laszlo loves rum and whisky. But also frilly woo woos which a type of cocktail he believes. Orange and vodka with other things in it. It may sound like girl based drink but Laszlo knows how to break glass and cut every vital point on the human body so insult his tasty drink with caution. Would settle for Baileys or anything though. Laszlo is not picky during these 3 or 4 rest days.
Pete Parker: Ooohh, this has got to be ham. The family ham is the best. It is really juicy and just has a sweet taste to it. I am not going to share how it is made as that is a Parker family recipe and is just something that you need to experience yourself at the family gathering. Or if you are lucky, we may make it another time in the year. The only time that it is guaranteed is around the holidays. If you can guess how it is done after you eat it, we will share the recipe.
James Bishop: I had eggnog once. It was like crazy milk.
The Interviewer: With food and drink out of the way, I would like to know what you will be buying others for under the christmas tree when they open up your presents on Christmas morning?!
Laszlo Forty-Two: Why would Laszlo tell you this piece of key information?! Are you spy?! Mr. Forty-Two will eliminate you before you ever get a chance to tell anyone! Oh. This is coming out Christmas day isn’t it. Okay. Laszlo will tell you then.
The Laz’s puppy, Little Pudding, is getting all new toys and a lovely upgraded outside dog house although he sleep inside. Overall, Laszlo not really get much of anything else past chocolates, money or cars for friends that they really wanted or needed. It was easy enough to buy for them all.
James Bishop: Oh I don’t buy Christmas gifts. I don’t believe in it. I think it’s a capitalist scam to promote economic stimulus. All you sheepel will be out spending your hard earned money on other people, even people you don’t like. I once bought a gift for my mom. It was awful. I had to wait in line for ever waiting to give my hard earned money to them for something they had sitting on a shelf. What kind of business is that? That’s terrible. Things should just be. If I want something I should walk in. flash my card and walk out. Done, simple. No lines, no waiting. I don’t like to wait.
Pete Parker: To be honest, I like to spoil my friends and family. They may not ask for a lot, but I like to give them things they need or something that they have wanted for a long time. Not everyone will get these things though because sadly, there are some people, may it be some family members or some so called friends that try to take advantage of your generosity. By acting like because I have all this money I am required to give them things. For that, I just give them a small item that obviously is something that they want or need, but that is al. Nothing else.
The Interviewer: So with all that said, what would you Colorado Yeti players say is the best present you ever received at Christmas time?
Laszlo Forty-Two: This is simple answer for The Laz. It would be one of two presents. At age 10 Laszlo Forty-Two have his first ever Christmas in States of United America. Was rather weird to be experiencing. Laszlo’s mother give him puppy. A German Shepherd & Corgi mix. Basically imagine a regular sized German Shepherd but then shrine it to half the size. It was cute. It became Laszlo’s best friend.
Either that or just before I joined the Goal Line Blitz League at age 16 Mr. Forty-Two gained his official cult tattoo Christmas before it. Some said it would stink or hurt but in the end the injection needle passed out and begged for no more. No mercy was given as I required the final thing for Mr. Forty-Two to become Mr. Forty-Two officially.
Both of these presents meant the whole world to Laszlo. Is hard to imagine Laszlo would ever have Christmas presents that can beat either of them.
Pete Parker: This is kind of a tough one as I do not really like asking for gifts like I said earlier, but there was a time that I did go crazy if I had to think about it. Back when I was a young kid, roughly around the time of me being in the second or maybe the third grade. I can’t exactly remember the age, anyway, I had woken up really early and came downstairs to see everyone already at the Christmas tree. Yes, I was the child that slept in all the time as I liked to stay up and play video games. Trying to think about it, I believe back then I was playing the Super Nintendo. So I would be up pretty late trying to beat levels or just trying to defeat Bowser. Anyway, i’m starting to ramble on a lot, but the point is, I remember waking up late, and running down stairs to see like maybe three to four presents to me. You know when you can tell if a gift looks like it will be clothes, or if it is something small? Yeah, a few of those were looking like that. But, there was this one present there that looked...different. Like it looked like the size of this new system that came out recently called the Play Station. You know, like the original one. The one that had Crash Bandicoot, Spyro, and those types of games. Anyway, I opened it up and sure enough that’s exactly what it was. That gift was the most exciting thing of my childhood. I would relive that if I could.
James Bishop: I once received a house from my parents. It was so cool. I could do whatever I wanted there. It really was an amazing gift. Then they told me that I needed to pay taxes on it and I was like nah. I gave it away after I found that out.
The Interviewer: You gave away a house?
James Bishop: Yeah! I wasn’t going to pay for that when i could live with my parents for free, are you nuts. How could you possibly think that having to pay for something is a good idea? Money doesn’t grow on trees. What if I spent a million of my dollars? Then I’d only have a few hundred millions left! I can’t afford to lose money on taxes that I have to pay every year. I don’t know how much that it would add up too, but whatever it is, it’d be too much!
The Interviewer: I may as well ask you all whilst I have you about the next event. The new decade approaching. Twenty Twenty! Do you have anything special planned for the New Years Eve night? Or perhaps anything planned for the actual New Years Day?
Laszlo Forty-Two: As of right now Laszlo has not made any plans for the whole New Years Eve Day nor the actual New Years Day. It is a week away and during that week after Boxing Day or St Stephen’s Day as some call it Mr. Forty-Two will be doing an intense work out to get body in tip top shape again!
Perhaps something very specific will come up in the near future but Laszlo is not bothered by this just yet. We do not get fireworks around my mansion’s location and that means it is not scary for Little Pudding. Perhaps The Laz shall just finish off all the bad food or alcohol he has remaining on those days specifically. A part from that. Laszlo Forty-Two does not have a definite answer for you.
James Bishop: I will be working on New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. There is not much that is significant about that day for me. I just need to remember to write the correct year instead of last year. But that is in the future and not now so I don’t have to worry about that right now. I just need to focus on what I am doing so I can move to the next step. You don’t even know how hard it is to be a person who goes out and does those sorts of things and live with the guilt of it all, all the time.
Pete Parker: I think honestly what I am going to do is spend it with my friends back in New York City. Just spend it at Time Square and be cliche about it or probably just sit back and chill at the house playing some board games of something.
The Interviewer: Well, that is it. You have heard all the answers from our players! Usually we would end this with a few words from the people being interviewed but they all agreed to basically and collectively say Merry Christmas to you all. If you find Christmas a depressing or stressful time, you for sure get the biggest happy holidays and know that it is nearly bloody over for another god damn year. But for those who are enjoying it, I hope the rest of the holidays are going perfect and you enjoy time with your loved ones.
So with that being said it is a good bye from me and a big good bye from Pete Parker, Laszlo Forty-Two and James Bishop! Until we talk again!
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