[This is about the upcoming draft so 1.5x media and is roughly 2730 words long. It is ready to be graded.]
Hello there. General Kenobi. I am here to do a mock draft of the upcoming and rather hype season 22 National Sim Football league draft that's happening real soon. If it happened last night and I did not realise, no worries! Cause I do not know the results and this is a rather special version of a mock draft.
This will be part 1 of my special mock draft since I plan on covering a good number of rounds due to the sheer amount of depth with this draft class. This article will cover what will happen in the first two rounds. (24 picks)
Usually you see people give the best guesses with what the teams need to be filling or even better they will gun one of the best players in the draft. Sometimes you get the odd handful who are just really better than everyone else. Perhaps this is the case with this one as well but that is not applicable to my style of picking at all. No we're going to be doing something either really stupid or 300 IQ tier when I just luckily get a few correct.
I do not know any of the new users (Welcome by the way) nor what the players they created are for.
But my style of picking is 100% based off: A Random Number Generator. Yes, I will be letting chance pick what happens. Recently I saw an absolutely beautiful piece of media doing the first 5 rounds of a mock draft based off what teams need the most and what is best available. He also listed one to sixty players so I will be using the number they are in his draft to pick the players!
The beautiful thing about this is, I might actually hit a good number of them or have a better chance in later rounds as people putting decent thought into this cause you really have no idea who General Managers will gun in this draft. The beauty of this could be that the 60th or later numbers just move up to the top 10 purely due to a random number generator. It will be quite funny and interesting to see who leap frogs the highest overall. So let us get this awful mock draft started!
#1 Overall - The Austin Copperheads (Via Sarasota Sail Fish) select: Defensive End - Mario Von Pebbles!
God fucking damn everything...The first number was number 60! So basically Fur Fur Furson had this guy going 60th overall to my fresh new team. But my draft decided to say "No he is the best? Why? Yes, now deal with it."
So congrats on topping an entire mock draft dude. If I am honest I do not know you at all but the good news is I do now and you're the only one I remember, so I guess I am all in on the #VonPebbles hype train. Plus Von and Van are not that different so why not bandwagon you.
I will go down on record and state this is the greatest pick-up of all time! Austin just got a killer! You're welcome Austin!
#2 overall - The New Orleans Second Line (Via Honolulu roflfish) select: Quarter Back - Colby Jack!
Welp. This is a little awkward. I believe this is a General Manager pick up? 95% sure this is one. I too was heavily shocked that NOLA would not only draft a Quarter Back second overall but decide to absolutely cuck the Yellow Knife Wraiths even harder than they did in the play-offs. Truly a cruel move by Isa.
This is a rather interesting move and it completely hurts Yellow Knife who now have a General Manager playing one two of the better teams in the league but now the team he controls does not have a threat for the future. Perhaps they will be nice and trade him or just simply hold him hostage?
#3 overall - The Philly Liberty select: Safety Quinn Hughes!
After the drama of NOLA cucking the Wraiths, we move to Philly picking up a safety! The fun little thing about this is in the list I am copying of 1-60 in order of what the teams need, Fur Fur Furson does have Philly taking this young player but just heavily on. Now we all know this is the most accurate mock draft, right?
So I can only assume Philly looked at this list and thought "Oh fuck yeah lets get the 30th dude before the 3rd dude!" but I am confident this is a good move. They do need a good safety and by the looks of it this person is.
Having said all of that bollocks, I did heavily curse Philly from the last 2 championship games they've been in to last season so I get the feeling Philly might not take my advice on this one but hopefully they see that I am trying to help them!
#4 overall - The Arizona Outlaws select: Line Back - George “Corpse Grinder” Fisher
I do think I know this person actually. I remember seeing his update page ages ago and I clicked it cause I liked the name. I think this is a decent Line Backer but I have no idea how to really make one past put a lot of total points earned into it. But form 50th overall I think he will be taken 4th overall. This is the sort of thing I expected RNG to pull off with me but low and behold my 1st overall is 60th so every jump after does not mean that much.
#5 overall - The San Jose Sabre Cats select: Corner Back - Andrew Witten
You know I think this dude is active in the discord for this place but I could be confusing this with another Andrew. Those Andrews are an organised secret bunch. Still, if it is the person I think it is that is a nice pick up. Probably not that high up due to the depth of this draft like but still quite a lovely pick up for San Jose.
Hopefully they need a Corner Back cause apparently you are taking one!
#6 overall - The Philly Liberty (via Chicago Butchers) select: Line Back - Stanislaw Koniecpolski
God I really should have just copy and pasted that last name. I can barely type decently enough to communicate yet alone tackle a last name longer than my real life full name. This right now is the best pick up based of a low RNG number at 14 and he only moves up 8 places. I do not know if this is realistic or that he might be going 8 places below but I now will be following this one in the draft purely to see if I get this one correct.
Having stated all that and putting all of my eggs in that basket, I have no idea what Philly's Line Back situation is like. So maybe they do not even need one. But I am ALL IN on this draft so clearly they do.
I hope this player is from a european country like my player is though, we need more foreign based players...
#7 overall - The Honolulu lmaofish (Via Austin Copperheads) select: Safety - Eric Barlow
So I can give a bit of analysis about looking up this guys profile and update page and really gun how this would either be a good or a bad pick up but honestly with this draft I do not think Honolulu nor Sarasota can realistically fuck up this draft.
Sure you can argue they should have selected a better available player or a way more important position but as long as whoever they pick remains active they will easily be always a good pick up for a starting team.
That is my excuse and I am sticking with it!
#8 overall - The Colorado Yeti select: Offensive Linemen - Bruce Buckley
Well, fuck... this is just awkward. I promise you on my life the RNG number was 47 and this guy just so happened to be the position I am switching into. It aint a dig or anything. I also have a rough idea who the Yeti will be picking 1st overall for them anyway and I know it will not be an Offensive Linemen. I think I will just move on.
#9 overall - The Baltimore Hawks select: Corner Back - Jonathan Altidor
I literally cannot unsee that surname as that former American Sunderland striker Altidore who was one of the worst striker in Premier League history. Like oh god was he bad. Maybe this lad is playing Centre Back and is in the wrong draft? Well, either way I do not think you will end up being that awful and I believe in you to justify going 9th overall pal.
I feel like I have insulted this user now for calling him that striker. Like, I can only apologise lad. I now want you to be the best in this draft class.
#10 overall - The Orange Counter Otters select: Running Back - Tatsu Nakamura
This name reminds me of former WWE wrestler Yoshi Tatsu and current WWE wrestler shinsuke nakamura. So clearly the Otters picked this running back up for his clothesline abilities and awesome entrance music. I for one welcome this pick for the Otters and thanks to this team being who they are I can easily justify this Random Number Generator pick by simply saying the Otters always or damn near always draft well. Clearly they know this dude is the future. Yeah, now you just feel foolish.
#11 overall - The Yellow Knife Wraiths select: Wide Receiver - Susan Cash, Jr.
A little shocked on this one. A wide Receiver getting picked up so low down is a little weird to see but now the Wraiths are drafted someone to throw to when they now do not have anyone to throw said pig skin to Susan. This is a rather interesting tactic and considering the General Manager's player abandoned them to win titles in pick #1 it will be interesting to see how Yellow Knife continue in this draft.
#12 overall - The New Orleans Second Line select: Line Back - Haha Mango-Panda
God now I am even more confused. I just realised future Hall of Famer Ben Slothisburger is in this draft. So not only did NOLA cuck Yellow Knife by taking the General Manager Quarter Back they abandoned the amazing sloth faced killa. You hate to see it, but at least this will be a spicy stream.
Maybe not Jerry Springer tier but it at least emotions will run wild! Oh and I like Haha's name. I wish I knew your player better.
#13 overall - The Honolulu lulfish select: Wide Receiver - William Lim
The start of the second round will see Honolulu pick up a Wide Receiver. Once again, good pick up purely cause he is most likely active and most likely going to help this expansion team grow. Ignore that better options or builds may or may not exist!
#14 overall - The Sarasota Sail fish - Defensive Tackle - Deshun Jones
I HATE THIS PICK! Awful. Not cause of the player, he is probably cool, badass and will be great. But what are you lads doing?! We drafted DTs and DEs! God! We need other positions instead and you're collecting these positions like baseball or pokemon cards! Oh lordy lord someone help me!
#15 overall - The Arizona Outlaws (Via Philly Liberty) select: Line Back - Fawn Dillmiballs
This one I am confident in that I cannot top so just note this will be down hill from here. If you take the first letters of this players name and switch them to Dawn Fillmiballs. It slightly looks like Dawn Fill My Balls. This is why this pick up is justified at the #15 overall slot. You know it too be true and Arizona so far have my steal of the draft.
#16 overall - The Arizona Outlaws select: Line Back - Derred de Ville
The back-to-back line backer pick up for Arizona. I really hope they needed this position or this completely screws the accuracy of my mock draft! Clearly they are building a defending based team for the future and with these two pick ups they will be set to do just that!
#17 overall - The San Jose Sabre Cats select: Corner Back - Tyler Oles, Jr.
Oh man. I love this pick up. San Jose pick up one of the overall best defending players in the draft and someone even I have heard of. So you know he is pretty decent. What this also means is San Jose have abandoned picking up Monty Jack, the General Manager quarter back that they must take in the second round.
Now you could argue they just trade but I am not including possible trades cause that requires more brain power. So we will see if Head Office notice all these General Managers getting sniped or refusing to pick up the player they should. Either way though, great pick up for San Jose. He would do really well on that team I think.
#18 overall - The Philly Liberty (Via Chicago Butchers) select: Defensive End - Troen Egghands
Oh baby. They pick up on of the better players in the whole draft. I slightly wish he was a catching position with a last name based off hands but that is alright. He will for sure be a good pick up if he drops all the way to 18th unless he goes inactive. But I do not think that he will go inactive.
#19 overall - The Austin Copperheads select: Running Back - Acura Skyline
The Random Number Generator hits 16 which so far is the closest number to the number I am picking up from Fur Fur's article. Overall this means it has a decent chance of happening more than any other but I do not think Austin need a running back. I could be dead wrong but I feel like they have that position sorted or have other plans for it. Either way this would be a good pick up since to my very limited knowledge that is one of the better running backs in this draft class.
#20 overall - The Colorado Yeti select: Corner Back - Eldrick Avery
Neat.
#21 overall - The Chicago Butchers (Via Baltimore Hawks) select: Offensive Linemen - Tommy Sacamano
For the loves of christmas socks Chicago why are you copying the rest of the teams that refuse to pick up the General Manager player. You should be taking your Line backer not a future monster of an Offensive Linemen?! I am starting to think RNG might be making bad choices. No, no it for sure is the General Managers. Not my fault this is 99% accurate!
#22 overall - The Orange County Otters select: Line Back - Benson Bayley, Jr.
The Otters waste zero time sniping the Chicago Butchers' General Manager player! Mama Mia! What drama! This has to be the Otters holding his player hostage for a future 2nd rounder surely. Clearly Chicago were working on a trade for a later 2nd round pick but Orange County screw the Butchers over! Man who would have thought this drama would happen going into the draft.
#23 overall - The Yellow Knife Wraiths select: Line Back - Lawrence Bass
I love this guys name. I hope he goes to one of the expansion teams or my new fresh faced team just cause of his last name. With YKW losing the General Manager I guess they just wanted a Line Backer to help screw Chicago over by now needing a line backer of themselves since they also lost a GM player. How cruel are these teams to Chicago.
#24 overall - The New Orleans Second Line select: Defensive End - Sandro Ryeu
With the final pick of my part 1 done. I can end this with NOLA taking whoever this guy is. This according to fur fur's article would be a great pick up at 24th since he was 11th overall but I have no clue who he is. But I know he will love playing for that great team.
Okay that is the first two rounds of the stupidly big upcoming draft class done. RNG actually provided a few weird situations overall so I can only imagine how the next 2 rounds will end up going. But until that is written up I will see you later and thank you for reading if for some strange reason you did.
Hello there. General Kenobi. I am here to do a mock draft of the upcoming and rather hype season 22 National Sim Football league draft that's happening real soon. If it happened last night and I did not realise, no worries! Cause I do not know the results and this is a rather special version of a mock draft.
This will be part 1 of my special mock draft since I plan on covering a good number of rounds due to the sheer amount of depth with this draft class. This article will cover what will happen in the first two rounds. (24 picks)
Usually you see people give the best guesses with what the teams need to be filling or even better they will gun one of the best players in the draft. Sometimes you get the odd handful who are just really better than everyone else. Perhaps this is the case with this one as well but that is not applicable to my style of picking at all. No we're going to be doing something either really stupid or 300 IQ tier when I just luckily get a few correct.
I do not know any of the new users (Welcome by the way) nor what the players they created are for.
But my style of picking is 100% based off: A Random Number Generator. Yes, I will be letting chance pick what happens. Recently I saw an absolutely beautiful piece of media doing the first 5 rounds of a mock draft based off what teams need the most and what is best available. He also listed one to sixty players so I will be using the number they are in his draft to pick the players!
The beautiful thing about this is, I might actually hit a good number of them or have a better chance in later rounds as people putting decent thought into this cause you really have no idea who General Managers will gun in this draft. The beauty of this could be that the 60th or later numbers just move up to the top 10 purely due to a random number generator. It will be quite funny and interesting to see who leap frogs the highest overall. So let us get this awful mock draft started!
#1 Overall - The Austin Copperheads (Via Sarasota Sail Fish) select: Defensive End - Mario Von Pebbles!
God fucking damn everything...The first number was number 60! So basically Fur Fur Furson had this guy going 60th overall to my fresh new team. But my draft decided to say "No he is the best? Why? Yes, now deal with it."
So congrats on topping an entire mock draft dude. If I am honest I do not know you at all but the good news is I do now and you're the only one I remember, so I guess I am all in on the #VonPebbles hype train. Plus Von and Van are not that different so why not bandwagon you.
I will go down on record and state this is the greatest pick-up of all time! Austin just got a killer! You're welcome Austin!
#2 overall - The New Orleans Second Line (Via Honolulu roflfish) select: Quarter Back - Colby Jack!
Welp. This is a little awkward. I believe this is a General Manager pick up? 95% sure this is one. I too was heavily shocked that NOLA would not only draft a Quarter Back second overall but decide to absolutely cuck the Yellow Knife Wraiths even harder than they did in the play-offs. Truly a cruel move by Isa.
This is a rather interesting move and it completely hurts Yellow Knife who now have a General Manager playing one two of the better teams in the league but now the team he controls does not have a threat for the future. Perhaps they will be nice and trade him or just simply hold him hostage?
#3 overall - The Philly Liberty select: Safety Quinn Hughes!
After the drama of NOLA cucking the Wraiths, we move to Philly picking up a safety! The fun little thing about this is in the list I am copying of 1-60 in order of what the teams need, Fur Fur Furson does have Philly taking this young player but just heavily on. Now we all know this is the most accurate mock draft, right?
So I can only assume Philly looked at this list and thought "Oh fuck yeah lets get the 30th dude before the 3rd dude!" but I am confident this is a good move. They do need a good safety and by the looks of it this person is.
Having said all of that bollocks, I did heavily curse Philly from the last 2 championship games they've been in to last season so I get the feeling Philly might not take my advice on this one but hopefully they see that I am trying to help them!
#4 overall - The Arizona Outlaws select: Line Back - George “Corpse Grinder” Fisher
I do think I know this person actually. I remember seeing his update page ages ago and I clicked it cause I liked the name. I think this is a decent Line Backer but I have no idea how to really make one past put a lot of total points earned into it. But form 50th overall I think he will be taken 4th overall. This is the sort of thing I expected RNG to pull off with me but low and behold my 1st overall is 60th so every jump after does not mean that much.
#5 overall - The San Jose Sabre Cats select: Corner Back - Andrew Witten
You know I think this dude is active in the discord for this place but I could be confusing this with another Andrew. Those Andrews are an organised secret bunch. Still, if it is the person I think it is that is a nice pick up. Probably not that high up due to the depth of this draft like but still quite a lovely pick up for San Jose.
Hopefully they need a Corner Back cause apparently you are taking one!
#6 overall - The Philly Liberty (via Chicago Butchers) select: Line Back - Stanislaw Koniecpolski
God I really should have just copy and pasted that last name. I can barely type decently enough to communicate yet alone tackle a last name longer than my real life full name. This right now is the best pick up based of a low RNG number at 14 and he only moves up 8 places. I do not know if this is realistic or that he might be going 8 places below but I now will be following this one in the draft purely to see if I get this one correct.
Having stated all that and putting all of my eggs in that basket, I have no idea what Philly's Line Back situation is like. So maybe they do not even need one. But I am ALL IN on this draft so clearly they do.
I hope this player is from a european country like my player is though, we need more foreign based players...
#7 overall - The Honolulu lmaofish (Via Austin Copperheads) select: Safety - Eric Barlow
So I can give a bit of analysis about looking up this guys profile and update page and really gun how this would either be a good or a bad pick up but honestly with this draft I do not think Honolulu nor Sarasota can realistically fuck up this draft.
Sure you can argue they should have selected a better available player or a way more important position but as long as whoever they pick remains active they will easily be always a good pick up for a starting team.
That is my excuse and I am sticking with it!
#8 overall - The Colorado Yeti select: Offensive Linemen - Bruce Buckley
Well, fuck... this is just awkward. I promise you on my life the RNG number was 47 and this guy just so happened to be the position I am switching into. It aint a dig or anything. I also have a rough idea who the Yeti will be picking 1st overall for them anyway and I know it will not be an Offensive Linemen. I think I will just move on.
#9 overall - The Baltimore Hawks select: Corner Back - Jonathan Altidor
I literally cannot unsee that surname as that former American Sunderland striker Altidore who was one of the worst striker in Premier League history. Like oh god was he bad. Maybe this lad is playing Centre Back and is in the wrong draft? Well, either way I do not think you will end up being that awful and I believe in you to justify going 9th overall pal.
I feel like I have insulted this user now for calling him that striker. Like, I can only apologise lad. I now want you to be the best in this draft class.
#10 overall - The Orange Counter Otters select: Running Back - Tatsu Nakamura
This name reminds me of former WWE wrestler Yoshi Tatsu and current WWE wrestler shinsuke nakamura. So clearly the Otters picked this running back up for his clothesline abilities and awesome entrance music. I for one welcome this pick for the Otters and thanks to this team being who they are I can easily justify this Random Number Generator pick by simply saying the Otters always or damn near always draft well. Clearly they know this dude is the future. Yeah, now you just feel foolish.
#11 overall - The Yellow Knife Wraiths select: Wide Receiver - Susan Cash, Jr.
A little shocked on this one. A wide Receiver getting picked up so low down is a little weird to see but now the Wraiths are drafted someone to throw to when they now do not have anyone to throw said pig skin to Susan. This is a rather interesting tactic and considering the General Manager's player abandoned them to win titles in pick #1 it will be interesting to see how Yellow Knife continue in this draft.
#12 overall - The New Orleans Second Line select: Line Back - Haha Mango-Panda
God now I am even more confused. I just realised future Hall of Famer Ben Slothisburger is in this draft. So not only did NOLA cuck Yellow Knife by taking the General Manager Quarter Back they abandoned the amazing sloth faced killa. You hate to see it, but at least this will be a spicy stream.
Maybe not Jerry Springer tier but it at least emotions will run wild! Oh and I like Haha's name. I wish I knew your player better.
#13 overall - The Honolulu lulfish select: Wide Receiver - William Lim
The start of the second round will see Honolulu pick up a Wide Receiver. Once again, good pick up purely cause he is most likely active and most likely going to help this expansion team grow. Ignore that better options or builds may or may not exist!
#14 overall - The Sarasota Sail fish - Defensive Tackle - Deshun Jones
I HATE THIS PICK! Awful. Not cause of the player, he is probably cool, badass and will be great. But what are you lads doing?! We drafted DTs and DEs! God! We need other positions instead and you're collecting these positions like baseball or pokemon cards! Oh lordy lord someone help me!
#15 overall - The Arizona Outlaws (Via Philly Liberty) select: Line Back - Fawn Dillmiballs
This one I am confident in that I cannot top so just note this will be down hill from here. If you take the first letters of this players name and switch them to Dawn Fillmiballs. It slightly looks like Dawn Fill My Balls. This is why this pick up is justified at the #15 overall slot. You know it too be true and Arizona so far have my steal of the draft.
#16 overall - The Arizona Outlaws select: Line Back - Derred de Ville
The back-to-back line backer pick up for Arizona. I really hope they needed this position or this completely screws the accuracy of my mock draft! Clearly they are building a defending based team for the future and with these two pick ups they will be set to do just that!
#17 overall - The San Jose Sabre Cats select: Corner Back - Tyler Oles, Jr.
Oh man. I love this pick up. San Jose pick up one of the overall best defending players in the draft and someone even I have heard of. So you know he is pretty decent. What this also means is San Jose have abandoned picking up Monty Jack, the General Manager quarter back that they must take in the second round.
Now you could argue they just trade but I am not including possible trades cause that requires more brain power. So we will see if Head Office notice all these General Managers getting sniped or refusing to pick up the player they should. Either way though, great pick up for San Jose. He would do really well on that team I think.
#18 overall - The Philly Liberty (Via Chicago Butchers) select: Defensive End - Troen Egghands
Oh baby. They pick up on of the better players in the whole draft. I slightly wish he was a catching position with a last name based off hands but that is alright. He will for sure be a good pick up if he drops all the way to 18th unless he goes inactive. But I do not think that he will go inactive.
#19 overall - The Austin Copperheads select: Running Back - Acura Skyline
The Random Number Generator hits 16 which so far is the closest number to the number I am picking up from Fur Fur's article. Overall this means it has a decent chance of happening more than any other but I do not think Austin need a running back. I could be dead wrong but I feel like they have that position sorted or have other plans for it. Either way this would be a good pick up since to my very limited knowledge that is one of the better running backs in this draft class.
#20 overall - The Colorado Yeti select: Corner Back - Eldrick Avery
Neat.
#21 overall - The Chicago Butchers (Via Baltimore Hawks) select: Offensive Linemen - Tommy Sacamano
For the loves of christmas socks Chicago why are you copying the rest of the teams that refuse to pick up the General Manager player. You should be taking your Line backer not a future monster of an Offensive Linemen?! I am starting to think RNG might be making bad choices. No, no it for sure is the General Managers. Not my fault this is 99% accurate!
#22 overall - The Orange County Otters select: Line Back - Benson Bayley, Jr.
The Otters waste zero time sniping the Chicago Butchers' General Manager player! Mama Mia! What drama! This has to be the Otters holding his player hostage for a future 2nd rounder surely. Clearly Chicago were working on a trade for a later 2nd round pick but Orange County screw the Butchers over! Man who would have thought this drama would happen going into the draft.
#23 overall - The Yellow Knife Wraiths select: Line Back - Lawrence Bass
I love this guys name. I hope he goes to one of the expansion teams or my new fresh faced team just cause of his last name. With YKW losing the General Manager I guess they just wanted a Line Backer to help screw Chicago over by now needing a line backer of themselves since they also lost a GM player. How cruel are these teams to Chicago.
#24 overall - The New Orleans Second Line select: Defensive End - Sandro Ryeu
With the final pick of my part 1 done. I can end this with NOLA taking whoever this guy is. This according to fur fur's article would be a great pick up at 24th since he was 11th overall but I have no clue who he is. But I know he will love playing for that great team.
Okay that is the first two rounds of the stupidly big upcoming draft class done. RNG actually provided a few weird situations overall so I can only imagine how the next 2 rounds will end up going. But until that is written up I will see you later and thank you for reading if for some strange reason you did.
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