Hey guys its my first media so here it goes. So i really need money badly so with help of my Portland buddies we have made the most accurate mock draft your godly bloody eyes will ever see. This was very hard to do knowing that there are many draft prospects up for grabs in the draft but according to my 200 IQ standards I have finally finished my mock draft. So lets just jump into it and start this already.
im bad at media
also i hacked the draft and leaked all the picks dont tell shhhhhh
1. Joseph Petrongolo - RB - Portland Pythons
Now i know this might come as controversial to some people, but it is the truth. Joseph Petrongolo will be the steal of the draft and the Yeti knows it. Thats why they will chose him first overall. With speed like a knight this man is not joking around. He will literally run past you before you can even tackle him in the first god damn place. Congrats Joseph.
2. me - RB - Portland Pythons
Again, another controversial draft pick as me also known as Joseph Petrongolo will be picked second in the draft. I know i know, he should had gone picked first in the draft. It was a very hard decision if I should chose me also known as Joseph Petrongolo or Joseph Petrongolo. I know me really wanted to go first overall but second is not that bad. Have a cup of tea and hop around the field you will soon be playing in.
3. Joefish - RB - Portland Pythons
Joefish is a obvious third. Let me explain why. Fishes are cool. People that are named Joe are cool. Fishes are the 3rd favorite sea animal in the ocean while in the most popular names category, Joe is ranked 3rd out of like 100 or something i dont know. (I totally did my research) If you combine Joe and Fish together you get Joefish, and fishes are known to be fast i think so this man is fast. No wonder he was the 3rd pick.
4. Jo3fish5 - RB - Portland Pythons
One day, Joefish decided to make a robot clone out of himself when he was a small fish. He abandoned it because he wasn't functioning right. 20 years later BOOM he comes alive. People call him a cheater for being that fast but no, I call him smart. Being in a coma for 20 years and still being that fast is insane. Jo3fish5 is definitely a steal.
5. I A M S P E E D K N I G H T - RB - Portland Pythons
If you took 100 Jo3fsh5 and blended it into a blender, you will get this abomination. Pronounced "I A M S P E E D K N I G H T" he never stops running. He can stop running but he chooses not to. Let me tell you some stories about him. I A M S P E E D K N I G H T runs every single second, runs in sleep, runs while he is cooking, runs while he is in his fucking car. HE RUNS EVERYWHERE. The city got so annoyed with him that he got kicked out and moved to Portland to where he is on probation and can only go to his football games.
6. Dick Thruster - not a RB - not the Portland Pythons
I don't even know if he is even eligible for this draft but im sorry, I felt like I had to include him in. No its not because of his name! What kind of disgusting name is that? yes its because of the name
7. Portlands RB1 - RB - Portland Pythons
Alright ill be honest, im not sure if he truly is the pythons RB1 but what I do know is that he is a runningback for the Portland Pythons. A obvious 7th round pick as Portlands RB1 basically has Bo Jackson speed on him, running threw people with all of his might. That right there is a future hall of famer.
8. Joefish#6969 - RB - Portland Pythons
If i were to told you that I A M S P E E D K N I G H T made another clone of himself and named it " Joefish#6969" you would had told me that i was crazy. Well I probably am but not in this scenario. Joefish#6969 is a sex addict that is recovering by playing football. Or he just truly came here just because of the name "NSFL". We will never know.
9. Blake Petrongolo - RB - Portland Pythons
Thats right ladies and gentlemen, Blake Petrongolo is qualified for the NSFL draft. For everyone who dosen't know, Blake Petrongolo is Joesfish#6969, Portlands RB1, I A M S P E E D N I G H T, Jo3fish5, Joefish, me, and Joseph Petrongolos dad. And there is still more children to add on to the list. This man makes other runningbacks worried about being a backup. This man terrifies other players. He is, Blake Petrongolo.
10. @Jo3fish5 - RB - Portland Pythons
Now you guys might be asking, "Didn't jo3fish5 just get drafted 6 round picks ago?" and thats where im telling you that YOUR wrong. This jo3fish5 has a line in the bottom. Thats right. Underline jo3fish5. You might also be asking "Whats the difference between jo3fish5 and joe3fish5 (but underlinded?)" Well, he was apart of the underline group in college before retiring to be a runningback. Hes a line, but he can run. You again might be asking for the third time tonight "How did he turn into a line? Well my sweet sweet child, he was born by the underline cult. Don't ask how. No more questions. Congrats.
11. Not You - [Insert Position here] - [Insert team here]
Well aint this obvious? For the eleventh pick in the NSFL draft the NSFL team who is pick 11 chooses.... Not You! Now I know you have a lot of questions which I will answer later but first off can you be a little bit more happy that you aren't pick 11? Ive heard that 11 is a bad number to be picked on from my mind in 11:10 at night. Now we will get to questions. "Why not me?" Because this team either did 1 of these two things: made a mistake in the draft and couldn't draft you OR noticed you were too good or not good enough. Congratulations for not being pick 11 in the draft!
12. uhhhhhh - RB - Portland Pythons
This is a cry for help. I have no more ideas for draft picks and have decided to put "uhhhhhh" as the 12 pick in the draft. Who is uhhhh you say? Well he is basically like missingno in pokemon. He appears out of no where, a glitch in the system, A CRY FOR HELP, and is hungry for money, maybe thats why he is making graphics for himself i dont know.
Well thats about it. Hope you enjoyed my......
PERFECTLY
ACCURATE
MOCK DRAFT
now please tell me this is over 1000 words
im bad at media
also i hacked the draft and leaked all the picks dont tell shhhhhh
1. Joseph Petrongolo - RB - Portland Pythons
Now i know this might come as controversial to some people, but it is the truth. Joseph Petrongolo will be the steal of the draft and the Yeti knows it. Thats why they will chose him first overall. With speed like a knight this man is not joking around. He will literally run past you before you can even tackle him in the first god damn place. Congrats Joseph.
2. me - RB - Portland Pythons
Again, another controversial draft pick as me also known as Joseph Petrongolo will be picked second in the draft. I know i know, he should had gone picked first in the draft. It was a very hard decision if I should chose me also known as Joseph Petrongolo or Joseph Petrongolo. I know me really wanted to go first overall but second is not that bad. Have a cup of tea and hop around the field you will soon be playing in.
3. Joefish - RB - Portland Pythons
Joefish is a obvious third. Let me explain why. Fishes are cool. People that are named Joe are cool. Fishes are the 3rd favorite sea animal in the ocean while in the most popular names category, Joe is ranked 3rd out of like 100 or something i dont know. (I totally did my research) If you combine Joe and Fish together you get Joefish, and fishes are known to be fast i think so this man is fast. No wonder he was the 3rd pick.
4. Jo3fish5 - RB - Portland Pythons
One day, Joefish decided to make a robot clone out of himself when he was a small fish. He abandoned it because he wasn't functioning right. 20 years later BOOM he comes alive. People call him a cheater for being that fast but no, I call him smart. Being in a coma for 20 years and still being that fast is insane. Jo3fish5 is definitely a steal.
5. I A M S P E E D K N I G H T - RB - Portland Pythons
If you took 100 Jo3fsh5 and blended it into a blender, you will get this abomination. Pronounced "I A M S P E E D K N I G H T" he never stops running. He can stop running but he chooses not to. Let me tell you some stories about him. I A M S P E E D K N I G H T runs every single second, runs in sleep, runs while he is cooking, runs while he is in his fucking car. HE RUNS EVERYWHERE. The city got so annoyed with him that he got kicked out and moved to Portland to where he is on probation and can only go to his football games.
6. Dick Thruster - not a RB - not the Portland Pythons
I don't even know if he is even eligible for this draft but im sorry, I felt like I had to include him in. No its not because of his name! What kind of disgusting name is that? yes its because of the name
7. Portlands RB1 - RB - Portland Pythons
Alright ill be honest, im not sure if he truly is the pythons RB1 but what I do know is that he is a runningback for the Portland Pythons. A obvious 7th round pick as Portlands RB1 basically has Bo Jackson speed on him, running threw people with all of his might. That right there is a future hall of famer.
8. Joefish#6969 - RB - Portland Pythons
If i were to told you that I A M S P E E D K N I G H T made another clone of himself and named it " Joefish#6969" you would had told me that i was crazy. Well I probably am but not in this scenario. Joefish#6969 is a sex addict that is recovering by playing football. Or he just truly came here just because of the name "NSFL". We will never know.
9. Blake Petrongolo - RB - Portland Pythons
Thats right ladies and gentlemen, Blake Petrongolo is qualified for the NSFL draft. For everyone who dosen't know, Blake Petrongolo is Joesfish#6969, Portlands RB1, I A M S P E E D N I G H T, Jo3fish5, Joefish, me, and Joseph Petrongolos dad. And there is still more children to add on to the list. This man makes other runningbacks worried about being a backup. This man terrifies other players. He is, Blake Petrongolo.
10. @Jo3fish5 - RB - Portland Pythons
Now you guys might be asking, "Didn't jo3fish5 just get drafted 6 round picks ago?" and thats where im telling you that YOUR wrong. This jo3fish5 has a line in the bottom. Thats right. Underline jo3fish5. You might also be asking "Whats the difference between jo3fish5 and joe3fish5 (but underlinded?)" Well, he was apart of the underline group in college before retiring to be a runningback. Hes a line, but he can run. You again might be asking for the third time tonight "How did he turn into a line? Well my sweet sweet child, he was born by the underline cult. Don't ask how. No more questions. Congrats.
11. Not You - [Insert Position here] - [Insert team here]
Well aint this obvious? For the eleventh pick in the NSFL draft the NSFL team who is pick 11 chooses.... Not You! Now I know you have a lot of questions which I will answer later but first off can you be a little bit more happy that you aren't pick 11? Ive heard that 11 is a bad number to be picked on from my mind in 11:10 at night. Now we will get to questions. "Why not me?" Because this team either did 1 of these two things: made a mistake in the draft and couldn't draft you OR noticed you were too good or not good enough. Congratulations for not being pick 11 in the draft!
12. uhhhhhh - RB - Portland Pythons
This is a cry for help. I have no more ideas for draft picks and have decided to put "uhhhhhh" as the 12 pick in the draft. Who is uhhhh you say? Well he is basically like missingno in pokemon. He appears out of no where, a glitch in the system, A CRY FOR HELP, and is hungry for money, maybe thats why he is making graphics for himself i dont know.
Well thats about it. Hope you enjoyed my......
PERFECTLY
ACCURATE
MOCK DRAFT
now please tell me this is over 1000 words
![[Image: GjqBWcv.png]](https://i.imgur.com/GjqBWcv.png)
![[Image: T63gw9t.png]](https://i.imgur.com/T63gw9t.png)
lol
![[Image: FrostKnight.png?width=1248&height=676]](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/722897180280619130/876259042392154132/FrostKnight.png?width=1248&height=676)
![[Image: 9nvMhRb]](https://imgur.com/a/9nvMhRb)
![[Image: isflacc.gif]](https://sig.grumpybumpers.com/host/isflacc.gif)
![[Image: rqph9tT.jpg]](https://i.imgur.com/rqph9tT.jpg)
![[Image: 6HEXEeb.png]](https://i.imgur.com/6HEXEeb.png)
