[div align=\\\"center\\\"]From the Desk of J. Jonah Juniped[/div]
J. Jonah Juniped here with a press release from the TT69 Agency on behalf of the player Flash Panda concerning the allegations of food stealing directed at his client. What follows is a statement directly from the mouth of Pandas translator to you dear readers. Please make of it what you will.
Hi, Flash Panda here. Recently I have heard that there are allegations about my stealing a tikka masala meal from the team fridge. I know my teammate Wesley Eriksen said that it'll be okay but the idea of a team means there is deep Trust that should be had between players. Without trust between teammates there is nothing. Now recently in my extension I was granted daily bamboo in my locker room. Enough bamboo to feed me for the entire day. now I understand the appeal of , but why would I steal when I can have the bamboo for free in my locker? That would just be silly of me that's like somebody saying here have an unlimited amount of your favorite ice cream or you can have this spicy Jelly Bean. Now I don't know about you but if I were you by you being offered that I would take the ice cream. Now I don't know what he's trying to say about me speaking English I always have a translator with me I can translate my words through my translator fairly well but I wouldn't say I'm comfortable speaking English in public. he got angry after accusing me of stealing his tikka masala and stormed out of the room.
Now I wasn't able to decipher what he was saying until later because he was so angry I had a hard time following a long what he was saying in fact I was eating some bamboo and that very moment. In fact somebody had gone and left me some bamboo outside of my private slot machine... I mean weight training room. I have spent all pregame workout in there… Working out… And when I had Finished up there was a nice plate of bamboo wait for me. Now I assume one of my GM's was nice enough to leave it there for me it had a note saying dear Panda congratulations on the extension hope you had a good workout and are ready for our game today. And so I picked up the plate of bamboo and I headed to the locker room and that's when I came across Wesley yelling at me. now here is where it gets if you'll excuse my pun spicy.
After Wesley had stormed out of the locker room I put my bamboo down washed off in the shower and left to go play the game I had a weird feeling... In my mouth! I realized about part way through the game that my bamboo was spicy and warm. I don't know if you've had much bamboo folks but bamboo is not supposed to be spicy and warm. And that's when I realized it hit me like a... Like a... Tackle from Rotticus Scott! As I lay there on the ground after I just been tackled I realized somebody had put tikka masala inside of my bamboo! Now Wesely hasn't spoken to me in days. the trust inside our locker room has been shaken, nobody will listen to me that I have been framed sides are being picked I don't really understand. Our locker room has been at War on did I or did I not steal it. there is a civil war brewing in the Liberty locker room for something that I was framed for. Yes Wesley I did eat your tikka masala but I was forced to. Somebody tricked me when I got back to the locker room to find that bamboo it was gone somebody had disposed of it before I could get back. It must have been someone on the defense I'm sorry. nobody on the defense is talking to me or my offensive brother in and so I hope this message gets out to the defense side please listen to reason before this Civil War breaks into something we can't stop I implore you look into your heart you know I wouldn't do this. I hope this message gets to you and we can fix these bonds that have been broken before it's too late.
Team is a union
Offense and defense must work as one
Apart is defeat
-Flash Panda
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any agency of the Daily Bugle.
J. Jonah Juniped here with a press release from the TT69 Agency on behalf of the player Flash Panda concerning the allegations of food stealing directed at his client. What follows is a statement directly from the mouth of Pandas translator to you dear readers. Please make of it what you will.
Hi, Flash Panda here. Recently I have heard that there are allegations about my stealing a tikka masala meal from the team fridge. I know my teammate Wesley Eriksen said that it'll be okay but the idea of a team means there is deep Trust that should be had between players. Without trust between teammates there is nothing. Now recently in my extension I was granted daily bamboo in my locker room. Enough bamboo to feed me for the entire day. now I understand the appeal of , but why would I steal when I can have the bamboo for free in my locker? That would just be silly of me that's like somebody saying here have an unlimited amount of your favorite ice cream or you can have this spicy Jelly Bean. Now I don't know about you but if I were you by you being offered that I would take the ice cream. Now I don't know what he's trying to say about me speaking English I always have a translator with me I can translate my words through my translator fairly well but I wouldn't say I'm comfortable speaking English in public. he got angry after accusing me of stealing his tikka masala and stormed out of the room.
Now I wasn't able to decipher what he was saying until later because he was so angry I had a hard time following a long what he was saying in fact I was eating some bamboo and that very moment. In fact somebody had gone and left me some bamboo outside of my private slot machine... I mean weight training room. I have spent all pregame workout in there… Working out… And when I had Finished up there was a nice plate of bamboo wait for me. Now I assume one of my GM's was nice enough to leave it there for me it had a note saying dear Panda congratulations on the extension hope you had a good workout and are ready for our game today. And so I picked up the plate of bamboo and I headed to the locker room and that's when I came across Wesley yelling at me. now here is where it gets if you'll excuse my pun spicy.
After Wesley had stormed out of the locker room I put my bamboo down washed off in the shower and left to go play the game I had a weird feeling... In my mouth! I realized about part way through the game that my bamboo was spicy and warm. I don't know if you've had much bamboo folks but bamboo is not supposed to be spicy and warm. And that's when I realized it hit me like a... Like a... Tackle from Rotticus Scott! As I lay there on the ground after I just been tackled I realized somebody had put tikka masala inside of my bamboo! Now Wesely hasn't spoken to me in days. the trust inside our locker room has been shaken, nobody will listen to me that I have been framed sides are being picked I don't really understand. Our locker room has been at War on did I or did I not steal it. there is a civil war brewing in the Liberty locker room for something that I was framed for. Yes Wesley I did eat your tikka masala but I was forced to. Somebody tricked me when I got back to the locker room to find that bamboo it was gone somebody had disposed of it before I could get back. It must have been someone on the defense I'm sorry. nobody on the defense is talking to me or my offensive brother in and so I hope this message gets out to the defense side please listen to reason before this Civil War breaks into something we can't stop I implore you look into your heart you know I wouldn't do this. I hope this message gets to you and we can fix these bonds that have been broken before it's too late.
Team is a union
Offense and defense must work as one
Apart is defeat
-Flash Panda
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any agency of the Daily Bugle.
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