“Oh God my knees hurt.”
A motherly looking woman sitting in a lawn chair answers with a quiet giggle. The youngish looking but much closer to middle aged man laying on the ground while he complains about his knees looks over with a raised eyebrow.
“Are you laughing at my pain?” he asks.
“Of course not.” she answers. “I’m laughing at you being surprised by the pain. That’s very different. You’re older honey. And you just ran a mile for no reason.”
“I’ll remind you that I was a professional athlete for nearly two full years.” he said.
“And how’s the NSHL doing currently” she responded.
“Fair.” he said. “But I think i still have it.”
“A working spine?” she asked. “Because you may be choosing to lose that.”
“Well I guess we’ll find out.” he said. “This is just day 1.”
“I bet you’ll still be complaining about your knees on day 30.” she said.
“We’ll see.” he responded defiantly.
DAY 30
“My knees hurt.” he said in a defeated tone.
“I’m pretty sure I told you that would happen.” the woman responded.
“Smartass.” he said.
“You married me.” she noted.
“That’s my line.” he answered.
He grunted as he rose to his feet and dusted himself off. Laying in grass in the desert was really mostly still laying in sand. Sand with the consistency of clay.
“I’m calling it a win since I had to work a lot harder to be in pain.” he said.
She fanned herself and smiled.
“Yes...yes you did.” she said suggestively. “And I enjoyed it.”
“I need icy hot.” he grumbled.
“I can rub that on you.” she answered in the same tone as before.
“Ma’am I am married.” he mock complained.
“Yes.” she responded confidently. “I have the paperwork. If you come to my bedroom I’ll show you.”
“I need to shower first.” he noted.
“I can be patient.” she said.
“Since when?” he asked.
“I can be patient for the length of a shower.” she corrected.
“Well. Guess I’m gonna call it a day.” he answered. “Maybe by day 60 only one knee will hurt.”
“That’s the spirit.” she added.
DAY 60
“Ow!” He said suddenly. “Why did you hit me?”
She shrugged and pulled back the umbrella that had been used to do the deed.
“You haven’t complained about your knees yet.” she explained.
“You are definitely weirder than me some days.” he said.
“Says the guy trying to get back into professional sports because he’s bored.” she answered.
“Also money.” he argued. “And so much free food. Like...I don’t think I can express how much free food I got.”
“What day am I weirder than you again?” she asked.
“You married me.” he answered.
“And now I get to stare at you lifting weights and running around like you’re 20.” she pointed out. “Even if you decide you don’t want to do this at some point, I have the memories.”
He didn’t say anything and just nodded instead. The only way to win the game was not to play after all.
“I’ll take your silence as a victory.” she said.
Opinions varied.
“I don’t actually think you’;re going to quit.” she added. “I know better. You’re too stubborn.”
“And yet...less than you or Sam.” he answered. “Or the cat. Or the dog.”
“I dunno.” she countered. “Trying to become a professional football player now is pretty stubborn. Probably beats Daisy wanting to get in your chair.”
Having no argument to make, he lifted his shirt and showed her his hard earned abs.
“Okay, you win.” she said gleefully. “So what’s next?”
“Signups for the DSFL draft are still about a month away.” he answered. “So I just keep running drills and working. I miss chocolate though. Like..a fucking lot.”
“I can’t eat it either.” she said.
“WORKS FOR ME” yelled a tiny voice.
Both looked over at a small child that clearly looked like the two of them sitting at an outside table and munching on M&ms.
“Yup.” he deadpanned. “That’s definitely our kid.”
A motherly looking woman sitting in a lawn chair answers with a quiet giggle. The youngish looking but much closer to middle aged man laying on the ground while he complains about his knees looks over with a raised eyebrow.
“Are you laughing at my pain?” he asks.
“Of course not.” she answers. “I’m laughing at you being surprised by the pain. That’s very different. You’re older honey. And you just ran a mile for no reason.”
“I’ll remind you that I was a professional athlete for nearly two full years.” he said.
“And how’s the NSHL doing currently” she responded.
“Fair.” he said. “But I think i still have it.”
“A working spine?” she asked. “Because you may be choosing to lose that.”
“Well I guess we’ll find out.” he said. “This is just day 1.”
“I bet you’ll still be complaining about your knees on day 30.” she said.
“We’ll see.” he responded defiantly.
DAY 30
“My knees hurt.” he said in a defeated tone.
“I’m pretty sure I told you that would happen.” the woman responded.
“Smartass.” he said.
“You married me.” she noted.
“That’s my line.” he answered.
He grunted as he rose to his feet and dusted himself off. Laying in grass in the desert was really mostly still laying in sand. Sand with the consistency of clay.
“I’m calling it a win since I had to work a lot harder to be in pain.” he said.
She fanned herself and smiled.
“Yes...yes you did.” she said suggestively. “And I enjoyed it.”
“I need icy hot.” he grumbled.
“I can rub that on you.” she answered in the same tone as before.
“Ma’am I am married.” he mock complained.
“Yes.” she responded confidently. “I have the paperwork. If you come to my bedroom I’ll show you.”
“I need to shower first.” he noted.
“I can be patient.” she said.
“Since when?” he asked.
“I can be patient for the length of a shower.” she corrected.
“Well. Guess I’m gonna call it a day.” he answered. “Maybe by day 60 only one knee will hurt.”
“That’s the spirit.” she added.
DAY 60
“Ow!” He said suddenly. “Why did you hit me?”
She shrugged and pulled back the umbrella that had been used to do the deed.
“You haven’t complained about your knees yet.” she explained.
“You are definitely weirder than me some days.” he said.
“Says the guy trying to get back into professional sports because he’s bored.” she answered.
“Also money.” he argued. “And so much free food. Like...I don’t think I can express how much free food I got.”
“What day am I weirder than you again?” she asked.
“You married me.” he answered.
“And now I get to stare at you lifting weights and running around like you’re 20.” she pointed out. “Even if you decide you don’t want to do this at some point, I have the memories.”
He didn’t say anything and just nodded instead. The only way to win the game was not to play after all.
“I’ll take your silence as a victory.” she said.
Opinions varied.
“I don’t actually think you’;re going to quit.” she added. “I know better. You’re too stubborn.”
“And yet...less than you or Sam.” he answered. “Or the cat. Or the dog.”
“I dunno.” she countered. “Trying to become a professional football player now is pretty stubborn. Probably beats Daisy wanting to get in your chair.”
Having no argument to make, he lifted his shirt and showed her his hard earned abs.
“Okay, you win.” she said gleefully. “So what’s next?”
“Signups for the DSFL draft are still about a month away.” he answered. “So I just keep running drills and working. I miss chocolate though. Like..a fucking lot.”
“I can’t eat it either.” she said.
“WORKS FOR ME” yelled a tiny voice.
Both looked over at a small child that clearly looked like the two of them sitting at an outside table and munching on M&ms.
“Yup.” he deadpanned. “That’s definitely our kid.”
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