[A bit over 1500 words, ready for grading.]
So here I am, minding my own business enjoying my break from the league and still deciding what position I want to play as next season when I notice that the league is having good quality discussions! Now I will admit discord right now has devolved to everyone spamming a nodding cat gif thats super cute but where is the drama?! Where is the anger in this league? I do not want to read peoples smart and very factual analysis on drafts, positions or whatever great piece of quality they have put time and effort into. Hell no! Nay, I say! What we need here is some good quality shitposting!
That is why I bring you this piece of god awful media. In this topic I will attempt to put a joke that I know and sometimes willing use (Or you know just steal from the internet cause comedy is not original) to every team in this league.
Now just so you know it is up to you the individual to discover and figure out what the fuck that means in the grand scheme of things but do not worry about that just yet.
That is right people, I will risk a perma ban for terrible comedy jokes that will make anyone sensible or adult-like cringe, detest or want me gone. But I do it for the league and for you. If I do not do it, who will?
The Baltimore Hawks
I tried to get in touch with my late brother, who was a plumber from Italy.
I used my Luigi board
The Chicago Butchers
I said to my wife, "I saw a woman with her tits out on the bus feeding her son."
She said, "It's natural."
"Natural?" I replied, "She was giving him crisps."
The Colorado Yeti
In these snowbound difficult times I popped next door to see if 83 year-old Vera needed anything from the shop.
She said she did, so I gave her my list.
No point in both of us going out in this weather.
The Philly Liberty
A new car has been launched for American cowboys.
The Audi Partner.
The Sarah Sota Sailing Fish
Got some racing geese for sale.
Let me know if you want a quick gander
The Yellow and Black Knife Wraiths
I actually have 2 jokes for this team:
1. "Your season 23 Ultimus World Champions are the Yellowknife Wraiths!"
And
2. I had the best ice pun to tell you…
Problem is, it slipped my mind.
The Arizona Outlaws
The first Cowboy say's to the other cowboy. "Can you think of anything worse than being scalped alive?"
The second Cowboy replies: "Not off the top of my head."
The Austin Copperheads
I actually got a little sick last weekend. Yeah, "Bullets over Broadway" was on TV. And I came down with a big ol' Dianne Wiest infection.
...LIKE "YEAST"! (Points if you know this reference by the way)
The Hahalua Honolualuas (I think I can't remember how you spell this team now that I think about it)
We were arguing all day about what to call a medieval soldier.
But then it got late, so we called it a knight.
The New Orlean Second Line
I bought The Best of Prince album on vinyl for twenty quid.
Tonight I'm gonna party like it's 19.99.
The Orange and White County Otters
A dyslexic walks into a bra.
The San Jose Bladed Kittens
There are only 90 Amur Leopards left in the wild.
It's tragic because it's the only big cat that knows what it is.
The Kansas City Coyotes
You won’t find what you need here. You’re barking up the wrong tree.
The London ...Err...The London Lions?
(I have no idea I am sorry)
Explaining Words
Poli.....Latin for many
Tics....blood sucking insects
Politics
The San Antonio Grey Marshalls
I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage.
The zoo keeper told me it was bread in captivity
The Portland Pythons with a weird logo
(Man a lot changed in Development Simulation Football League without me noticing huh)
Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France?
They were cooked in Greece.
The Dallas Dog Birds
What's blue and not very heavy?
Light blue.
The Myrtle Beach Bucs
"Dad, I can't find a coke with my name on it."
"Just have a Pepsi, Max."
The Norwich City Boat Mariner Guys
My dad always told me 'don't be quick to find faults.'
Good man, terrible geologist.
The Tijuana Mother Fucking Luchadores
My teen daughter was trying to feed her baby but she wasn't having any of it and wouldn't eat any of her dinner.
"Try the Airplane", I said.
Airplane? What is it?
"It's a classic spoof film from the 1980s but that's not important right now"
Well, that is all you are getting. This shockingly took me way longer than I thought it would to either write or remember or find. I hope you all learned a little more about the teams even though that does not make sense but go with it. I hope you found 1 funny and I am now awaiting a thunderdome on the one you all hated. Probably deserved.
So here I am, minding my own business enjoying my break from the league and still deciding what position I want to play as next season when I notice that the league is having good quality discussions! Now I will admit discord right now has devolved to everyone spamming a nodding cat gif thats super cute but where is the drama?! Where is the anger in this league? I do not want to read peoples smart and very factual analysis on drafts, positions or whatever great piece of quality they have put time and effort into. Hell no! Nay, I say! What we need here is some good quality shitposting!
That is why I bring you this piece of god awful media. In this topic I will attempt to put a joke that I know and sometimes willing use (Or you know just steal from the internet cause comedy is not original) to every team in this league.
Now just so you know it is up to you the individual to discover and figure out what the fuck that means in the grand scheme of things but do not worry about that just yet.
That is right people, I will risk a perma ban for terrible comedy jokes that will make anyone sensible or adult-like cringe, detest or want me gone. But I do it for the league and for you. If I do not do it, who will?
The Baltimore Hawks
I tried to get in touch with my late brother, who was a plumber from Italy.
I used my Luigi board
The Chicago Butchers
I said to my wife, "I saw a woman with her tits out on the bus feeding her son."
She said, "It's natural."
"Natural?" I replied, "She was giving him crisps."
The Colorado Yeti
In these snowbound difficult times I popped next door to see if 83 year-old Vera needed anything from the shop.
She said she did, so I gave her my list.
No point in both of us going out in this weather.
The Philly Liberty
A new car has been launched for American cowboys.
The Audi Partner.
The Sarah Sota Sailing Fish
Got some racing geese for sale.
Let me know if you want a quick gander
The Yellow and Black Knife Wraiths
I actually have 2 jokes for this team:
1. "Your season 23 Ultimus World Champions are the Yellowknife Wraiths!"
And
2. I had the best ice pun to tell you…
Problem is, it slipped my mind.
The Arizona Outlaws
The first Cowboy say's to the other cowboy. "Can you think of anything worse than being scalped alive?"
The second Cowboy replies: "Not off the top of my head."
The Austin Copperheads
I actually got a little sick last weekend. Yeah, "Bullets over Broadway" was on TV. And I came down with a big ol' Dianne Wiest infection.
...LIKE "YEAST"! (Points if you know this reference by the way)
The Hahalua Honolualuas (I think I can't remember how you spell this team now that I think about it)
We were arguing all day about what to call a medieval soldier.
But then it got late, so we called it a knight.
The New Orlean Second Line
I bought The Best of Prince album on vinyl for twenty quid.
Tonight I'm gonna party like it's 19.99.
The Orange and White County Otters
A dyslexic walks into a bra.
The San Jose Bladed Kittens
There are only 90 Amur Leopards left in the wild.
It's tragic because it's the only big cat that knows what it is.
The Kansas City Coyotes
You won’t find what you need here. You’re barking up the wrong tree.
The London ...Err...The London Lions?
(I have no idea I am sorry)Explaining Words
Poli.....Latin for many
Tics....blood sucking insects
Politics
The San Antonio Grey Marshalls
I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage.
The zoo keeper told me it was bread in captivity
The Portland Pythons with a weird logo
(Man a lot changed in Development Simulation Football League without me noticing huh)Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France?
They were cooked in Greece.
The Dallas Dog Birds
What's blue and not very heavy?
Light blue.
The Myrtle Beach Bucs
"Dad, I can't find a coke with my name on it."
"Just have a Pepsi, Max."
The Norwich City Boat Mariner Guys
My dad always told me 'don't be quick to find faults.'
Good man, terrible geologist.
The Tijuana Mother Fucking Luchadores
My teen daughter was trying to feed her baby but she wasn't having any of it and wouldn't eat any of her dinner.
"Try the Airplane", I said.
Airplane? What is it?
"It's a classic spoof film from the 1980s but that's not important right now"
Well, that is all you are getting. This shockingly took me way longer than I thought it would to either write or remember or find. I hope you all learned a little more about the teams even though that does not make sense but go with it. I hope you found 1 funny and I am now awaiting a thunderdome on the one you all hated. Probably deserved.
![[Image: New_Project_25.png]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/893553757776928799/1068665081170251836/New_Project_25.png)
![[Image: oH7u8ye.png]](https://i.imgur.com/oH7u8ye.png)
