A quick write up of the Birddogs draft where every pick is a steal and every trade is great value. Milking that 1.5x one last time.
Pick 6: Raylan Crowder - DE
When someone mocks themselves to you in their own mock draft it can be seen as casual flirting. In this case it worked out perfectly for Crowder being taken 6th overall with the Dallas Birddogs first pick.
Ever since the Birddogs invited me into the locker room it has felt like the only place to go. The hype in the locker room was unreal throughout the full draft - my only regret is I missed it live and had to catch up the next day.
Just to clear up one bit of draft day misinformation, Lanced Jack brought the Four Horsemen to the league on the back of the Reddit drive.
I have the unfortunate accolade of unleashing the other four reprobates who have started to call themselves the Turtles on the league. - the one stain on an otherwise decent start.
Pick 14: Guy Fields - LB
With their second pick in the draft the Birddogs have gone for a second defensive player in Guy Fields. Fields has been super active across all locker room discords but has managed to find a fitting place in Dallas.
Fields - the only one of the Birddogs top four picks to actually be awake for the draft due to timezone clashes (seriously, can we at least get an occasional 11PM BST stream) was afforded a hero's welcome into the locker room. Acting as the shiny new toy during the next two picks Fields may have made himself a locker room favourite immediately through sharing photos of his super cute dog!
Pick 17: Lionel Rumper - S
Three picks in - all three on the defensive side of the ball. The second of the Four Horsemen to be drafted by the Birddogs and all round rhyming sensation Lionel Rumper is here to make a mark. Mocked at the Prospect bowl for being too slow Rumper now has insane speed to catch even the fastest receiver.
The Birddogs were desperate to seal the deal and bring Rumper in so instead of hoping he was there for their pick in the 3rd they traded up 5 spaces to the 17th pick of the draft. This was the only thing which got me more hyped than my own name being called! For the price of an 8th rounder you can only call this a steal
Pick 34: Sheed Thebaw - DT
So, steal of the draft gets bandied about a lot but in this write up however, getting this man mountain in the fifth round is completely nuts. The final horseman drafted to the Birddogs (RIP Rusty Rucker - treat him well Norfolk) was picked up in the fifth round with pick 34.
Thebaw will more than shore up the Birddogs Defensive Tackle problem. "The Unblockable Situation" will be causing headaches for quarterbacks in the DSFL all year and will likely become a high pick for the next draft.
With three of the four Horsemen plying their trade in Dallas, this defence is sure to be unstoppable.
Pick 38: Mark Callous - WR
Keep rolling rolling rolling! Mean Mark Callous is the first offensive player drafted into Dallas. The Birddogs must have liked what they saw from the Brooklyn Atlantics as callous is the third draftee from the Prospect bowl champions to be flown into Texas (Alongside Crowder and Fields).
Callous is a big bodied possession receiver who will be taking a lot of defensive backs on their last rides the old school way. He's told a number of safety's he has lined them up a tombstone where they can rest in peace.
Pick 46: Richard Leaking - LB
The reverend himself - Richard Leaking was the 5th pick up for the Birddogs. Leaking is one of my favourite members of the draft class to write about due to the endless penis puns. It means I really get to engorge his paragraphs.
It was a surprise to see Leaking still available during Dallas's second pick in the 5th round but they made mistake and inserted Dick into the remaining hole at LB.
Leaking should be able to penetrate the Oline and help the fans explode with excitement.
Pick 52: Milk Mann - S
If you were to look at this group of draftees selected by Dallas you'd be excused for believing they had selected purely on quality of name.
Green top, blue top, gold top... You name it - as long as it comes from a cow I enjoy it. Add to that the slight danger that he could be your dad or possibly your wife's affair and you have everything that makes a good safety.
The Milk Mann will line up alongside Rumper - the pair looking to make a formidable duo.
.
Pick 54: Bob Roberts - S
Robert Roberts was taken just two picks later by the Birddogs as the 3rd safety they picked up in the draft. As the 8th safety of the board it's fair to say Roberts will have been feeling the effects of a previously made bet where he would take shots for every safety drafted before him.
A second bet Roberts also backfired when he was drafted after Rumper. He had to write an apology post on the forum which signified the end of their "beef".
Hopefully this trio of safeties can work together to keep the Birddog ship tight.
Pick 86: Duncan Donuts - OL
I love Duncan Donuts due to two reasons.
1. It's a well known fact that I am a massive donut fan. (Although fire me a Tesco's own sugar Jan donut as opposed to anything fancy like dunkin')
2. I have a very fat friend called Duncan who has started trying to run 10kms to get fitter.
Both of these mean that Dallas's first ever drafted OLineman will be a player for the ages and quite possibly the best offensive lineman in the league.
Pick 94: Cmon Skiuuup - TE
C'mon Skeeeeeiiiuuuuup. An absolute steal in the 12th round. Everyone was surprised when Portland took three other tight ends but not Skiuuup.
Skiuuup will be a much needed veteran presence in the locker room to keep his fellow rookies level headed. As the 7th TE off the board no doubt Skiuuup will be playing the season with a chip on his shoulder and could be a real driving force in the offense.
Pick 110: Smitty McGhee - OL
To partner up with Duncan Donuts - Smitty McGhee is a big boy.
Smitty McGhee will pancake you then take you for a nice meal after the game. A monster on the field and a loveable teddy bear off. McGhee this late in the draft is a steal and should be a starter for the Birddogs before long.
Pick 118: D'Brickshaw Minshew Sr - S
I really enjoy sounding out the name D'Brickshaw and lets be honest no one would be surprised if this was the name of Gardner's son.
Another safety brings the Birddogs up to 4 for the draft to this point which makes you wonder if we may be in for a position for one or two of these players.
Pick 126: Regius Goliathus - LB
Goliathus is a mountain of a linebacker and the third picked up by the Birddogs this draft. It's clear Dallas have put a huge emphasis on their defence this draft and should Goliathus decide to take things seriously he could be a big part of this team.
Pick 132: Lugolor Gulogor - CB
Great name to say at a position of need. A total dart throw this late but again if this user decides to start showing up again it could be a total steal for Dallas. I for one hope he does as I want to talk about Gulogor for years to come.
Pick 137, Mr irrelevant: Uncle Rico - QB
The Birddogs traded their 69th round pick in next year's draft for the honour of drafting a man who can throw a football over them mountains. He won't be doing this in Dallas however as he has already packed in.
Five out of fifteen on offense
Ten out of fifteen on defense
The Birddogs had a fantastic draft and should be challenging for the ultimini this year
Pick 6: Raylan Crowder - DE
When someone mocks themselves to you in their own mock draft it can be seen as casual flirting. In this case it worked out perfectly for Crowder being taken 6th overall with the Dallas Birddogs first pick.
Ever since the Birddogs invited me into the locker room it has felt like the only place to go. The hype in the locker room was unreal throughout the full draft - my only regret is I missed it live and had to catch up the next day.
Just to clear up one bit of draft day misinformation, Lanced Jack brought the Four Horsemen to the league on the back of the Reddit drive.
I have the unfortunate accolade of unleashing the other four reprobates who have started to call themselves the Turtles on the league. - the one stain on an otherwise decent start.
Pick 14: Guy Fields - LB
With their second pick in the draft the Birddogs have gone for a second defensive player in Guy Fields. Fields has been super active across all locker room discords but has managed to find a fitting place in Dallas.
Fields - the only one of the Birddogs top four picks to actually be awake for the draft due to timezone clashes (seriously, can we at least get an occasional 11PM BST stream) was afforded a hero's welcome into the locker room. Acting as the shiny new toy during the next two picks Fields may have made himself a locker room favourite immediately through sharing photos of his super cute dog!
Pick 17: Lionel Rumper - S
Three picks in - all three on the defensive side of the ball. The second of the Four Horsemen to be drafted by the Birddogs and all round rhyming sensation Lionel Rumper is here to make a mark. Mocked at the Prospect bowl for being too slow Rumper now has insane speed to catch even the fastest receiver.
The Birddogs were desperate to seal the deal and bring Rumper in so instead of hoping he was there for their pick in the 3rd they traded up 5 spaces to the 17th pick of the draft. This was the only thing which got me more hyped than my own name being called! For the price of an 8th rounder you can only call this a steal
Pick 34: Sheed Thebaw - DT
So, steal of the draft gets bandied about a lot but in this write up however, getting this man mountain in the fifth round is completely nuts. The final horseman drafted to the Birddogs (RIP Rusty Rucker - treat him well Norfolk) was picked up in the fifth round with pick 34.
Thebaw will more than shore up the Birddogs Defensive Tackle problem. "The Unblockable Situation" will be causing headaches for quarterbacks in the DSFL all year and will likely become a high pick for the next draft.
With three of the four Horsemen plying their trade in Dallas, this defence is sure to be unstoppable.
Pick 38: Mark Callous - WR
Keep rolling rolling rolling! Mean Mark Callous is the first offensive player drafted into Dallas. The Birddogs must have liked what they saw from the Brooklyn Atlantics as callous is the third draftee from the Prospect bowl champions to be flown into Texas (Alongside Crowder and Fields).
Callous is a big bodied possession receiver who will be taking a lot of defensive backs on their last rides the old school way. He's told a number of safety's he has lined them up a tombstone where they can rest in peace.
Pick 46: Richard Leaking - LB
The reverend himself - Richard Leaking was the 5th pick up for the Birddogs. Leaking is one of my favourite members of the draft class to write about due to the endless penis puns. It means I really get to engorge his paragraphs.
It was a surprise to see Leaking still available during Dallas's second pick in the 5th round but they made mistake and inserted Dick into the remaining hole at LB.
Leaking should be able to penetrate the Oline and help the fans explode with excitement.
Pick 52: Milk Mann - S
If you were to look at this group of draftees selected by Dallas you'd be excused for believing they had selected purely on quality of name.
Green top, blue top, gold top... You name it - as long as it comes from a cow I enjoy it. Add to that the slight danger that he could be your dad or possibly your wife's affair and you have everything that makes a good safety.
The Milk Mann will line up alongside Rumper - the pair looking to make a formidable duo.
.
Pick 54: Bob Roberts - S
Robert Roberts was taken just two picks later by the Birddogs as the 3rd safety they picked up in the draft. As the 8th safety of the board it's fair to say Roberts will have been feeling the effects of a previously made bet where he would take shots for every safety drafted before him.
A second bet Roberts also backfired when he was drafted after Rumper. He had to write an apology post on the forum which signified the end of their "beef".
Hopefully this trio of safeties can work together to keep the Birddog ship tight.
Pick 86: Duncan Donuts - OL
I love Duncan Donuts due to two reasons.
1. It's a well known fact that I am a massive donut fan. (Although fire me a Tesco's own sugar Jan donut as opposed to anything fancy like dunkin')
2. I have a very fat friend called Duncan who has started trying to run 10kms to get fitter.
Both of these mean that Dallas's first ever drafted OLineman will be a player for the ages and quite possibly the best offensive lineman in the league.
Pick 94: Cmon Skiuuup - TE
C'mon Skeeeeeiiiuuuuup. An absolute steal in the 12th round. Everyone was surprised when Portland took three other tight ends but not Skiuuup.
Skiuuup will be a much needed veteran presence in the locker room to keep his fellow rookies level headed. As the 7th TE off the board no doubt Skiuuup will be playing the season with a chip on his shoulder and could be a real driving force in the offense.
Pick 110: Smitty McGhee - OL
To partner up with Duncan Donuts - Smitty McGhee is a big boy.
Smitty McGhee will pancake you then take you for a nice meal after the game. A monster on the field and a loveable teddy bear off. McGhee this late in the draft is a steal and should be a starter for the Birddogs before long.
Pick 118: D'Brickshaw Minshew Sr - S
I really enjoy sounding out the name D'Brickshaw and lets be honest no one would be surprised if this was the name of Gardner's son.
Another safety brings the Birddogs up to 4 for the draft to this point which makes you wonder if we may be in for a position for one or two of these players.
Pick 126: Regius Goliathus - LB
Goliathus is a mountain of a linebacker and the third picked up by the Birddogs this draft. It's clear Dallas have put a huge emphasis on their defence this draft and should Goliathus decide to take things seriously he could be a big part of this team.
Pick 132: Lugolor Gulogor - CB
Great name to say at a position of need. A total dart throw this late but again if this user decides to start showing up again it could be a total steal for Dallas. I for one hope he does as I want to talk about Gulogor for years to come.
Pick 137, Mr irrelevant: Uncle Rico - QB
The Birddogs traded their 69th round pick in next year's draft for the honour of drafting a man who can throw a football over them mountains. He won't be doing this in Dallas however as he has already packed in.
Five out of fifteen on offense
Ten out of fifteen on defense
The Birddogs had a fantastic draft and should be challenging for the ultimini this year
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