*Week 16 Tasty Guides

[The_Kidd]

WEEK 16 TASTY GUIDE
WORDS 1622, 2x Media Bonus

Alright, well season 26 has been a raucous rollercoaster ride for pretty much the entire season. Based on season predictions, some people have really been off the mark thanks to several surprising revelations. Going into week 17, we have several spicy matchups and a few lukewarm contests that should keep the appetites of even the most gluttonous fans alive. Even the battle for the first pick is alive going into the last week thanks to some jellyfish jamming the last few weeks.

DRAFT PICKS OWED
 

There aren't many big picks owed, mainly due to the performance of the teams that owe the picks, but alas, some fans will be drooling over the possibility of being able to trade picks for a stud player.

• 1st Round Picks
  

 owes 
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So of course, three of the top teams are involved. Pretty milquetoast here. Yellowknife(I predicted to finish 2nd, not 5th and 6th like others) will finish with the best record in the league, so Orange County will be getting a back end pick. Yellowknife though will be rooting for the Copperheads to drop in the standings, although depending on tiebreakers, Austin's pick will be the lowest of all non-playoff teams. I think we cracked the GM secrit playz: "Trade a 1st round pick, sim will feel sorry and bail you out".

• 2nd Round Picks
  

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The cupboard is barren for traded 2nd round picks. Sarasota will hope Orange County loses to New York and any tiebreaks that pushes them out the playoffs. But like with Austin and Yellowknife, the Orange County pick would be the last of non-playoff teams, however, that distinction of being 1st in the conference and 4th and 5th is still several draft slots(same for the other scenario up top).

CURRENT STANDINGS

NSFC AKA THE APPETIZER     ASFC AKA THE 4AM IHOP $10 SPECIAL

[b] 12-3   9-6[/b]

 9-6   9-6

 8-7   9-6

 7-8*   8-7

 6-9*   8-7

 6-9*   7-8*

 4-11*   3-12*

* = eliminated from playoff contention

As we see, the NSFC has almost no real drama. Colorado, by virtue of having a worse division/conference record, cannot tie and overtake Sarasota even with a Yeti win and Sailfish loss. However, a Sailfish win and a Butchers loss would jump Sarasota into 2nd as they swept Chicago this season. Yellowknife could essentially run dummy strategies on Monday and suffer no consequence. 

Meanwhile, the ASFC is a Sunday morning Golden Corral buffet with the employee discount load of tummyaches. It is (really really) possible that the ASFC finishes in a 5-way 9-7 tie. At that point I don't know who would make it and who doesn't, but let's break some numbers down a little. 

Assuming we had a 9-7 5-way tie

- CONFERENCE/DIVISION RECORD

1. New Orleans 7-5
   
2. Austin 7-5
   
3. New York 7-5
   
4. Arizona 6-6
   
5. Orange County 5-7
   

- HEAD TO HEADS

• New Orleans: 1-1 vs AZ, 1-1 vs AUS, 1-1 vs NY, 2-0 vs OCO
  
• Austin: 1-1 vs AZ, 1-1 vs NY, 1-1 vs NO, 1-1 vs OCO
  
• Orange County: 2-0 vs AZ, 1-1 vs AUS, 0-2 vs NO, 0-2 vs NY
  
• New York: 2-0 vs AZ, 1-1 vs AUS, 1-1 vs NO, 2-0 vs OCO
  
• Arizona: 1-1 vs AUS, 1-1 vs NO, 0-2 vs NY, 0-2 vs OCO
  

Scenarios

So what does this all mean? Well, if there was a 5-way tie, Orange County and Arizona would be out.

- Austin and New Orleans, by virtue of conference/division record and points scored, cannot fall lower than 2nd in any tiebreak scenarios. They can only drop if Orange County wins and they respectively lose. Technically speaking, Austin and New Orleans are clinched in since Orange County is the only team that can better their overall record and New York is the only team that can tie their conference/divisional record. 

- The winner of the New York/Orange County game wins and gets in.

- Even with a win, Arizona might not be able to jump anyone. A New York win bumps Arizona on H2H and conference record. If New York loses, Orange County is in on overall record and Arizona would not have the conference record over Austin or New Orleans.
 
- New York can only clinch 3rd if they win unless they make up a 70+ point gap on Austin, or 90+ point gap on New Orleans

- Orange County can only jump over New Orleans and Austin if both teams lose while Orange County wins(Orange County does not have H2H advantages and will have worse conference/division record)

- Assuming an Orange County loss, if New Orleans and Austin finish tied, New Orleans has a 19 point gap entering Monday for the tiebreak

WEEK 16 GAMES

With all that laid out, we still have to make room for the main part of the meal, the dessert. I'm going to rank the games based of tastiness of the matchup, given all the context leading into week 17. Maybe if the right people are reading this, they may follow this order for Monday night, cough cough( No I did not just contract corona, it's allergies).

 at 
Rank: Stail Malsada and Blutwurst Sliders

The only consolation to this contest is if Honolulu tries to ruin their chances at the first pick to pull a New York Jets

ultimately cap off the horror show season they had after such a promising s25 campaign. Liberty fans will anxiously watch hoping Honolulu continues its late season surge knowing that if they had the chance, they would've lost to them already. As for Berlin, they can end the season with mixed emotions. They started the season 0-5 but fought back, only to drop two close games back to back to Baltimore and Yellowknife to end their miracle playoff run. Berlin will hope to get next year off to a hot start and not bury themselves in such a big hole.

 at 
Rank: Dried Overcooked Cheesesteak with Flat Quadruple Distilled Coors 

This game only matters is Honolulu does the dumb thing and beats Berlin. Otherwise, this is a random game with two teams looking to clean up some holes on their roster. The only saving grace is some quality fantasy players that might be the make or break for that extra TPE in what should be a shootout as Colorado's defense has not traveled at all this year and Philadelphia has a sieve of a defensive unit.

 at 
Rank: Boiled Muktuk and Oyster Stew

Much like the dish, this matchup has a slight sizzle to it. And when I say slight, I mean the only reason to watch is to see if Yellowknife throws out the dummy strategy and see if Sarasota still has the magic to lose the game. Even if Sarasota manages to win the game, they still need Chicago to lose in order to climb to second place. Yellowknife has the top record locked up and can go on cruise control until the NSFC Championship game.

 at 
Rank: Buttered Crab Meat Deep Dish Pizza

Buttered Crab Meat is awesome, Deep Dish Pizza is a unique taste. When put together, it's either oral ecstasy or culinary catastrophe, which describes the prospects of this game. If Sarasota manages to upset Yellowknife, then Chicago needs to win to keep 2nd place. And playing at a hot Baltimore team might not spell good fortune for a team that many looked at as the favorite to represent the NSFC.

 at 
Rank: Monster Brisket Burrito with Fried Cheese Curds

This game lost a lot of heat after San Jose got eliminated with an upset to Honolulu, but there is still enough substance to keep eyes glued. Austin is essentially locked into a playoff spot by virtue of losing most of their games to NSFC teams. Had San Jose won last week, Austin would have needed to drink some Texas Pete to cool down. This game will be a good test to see if Austin can get their woeful run defense in check before the playoffs. Austin will need to scoreboard watch to see which seed they'll end up as.

 at 
Rank: Po' boy Chimichanga

Both teams will be scoreboard watching for different reasons. New Orleans is hoping to claim the top spot on the misfortune on Orange County and Austin. New Orleans very well could end up 3rd if they drop this game and the aforementioned two win their respective games. Arizona on the other hand needs a win just to stay alive. A loss and they are done. But unless there is some technicality I missed, they need a miracle to get in the playoffs. As in ties, crazy crazy outcomes, like the crazy idea of a fresh po' boy wrapped in a chimichanga. Crazy, but looks and probably tastes good

 at   
General Tso's, Gyros, Greasy White Pizza, fresh New York bagels

A win and in game. Not much else to speak on. Winner is in, loser is out. It's loaded, it's tasty, it's everything you want. New York has won 5 of her last 7 games to eschew themselves into this position. Their stingy defense has carried them the entire season, allowing them to steal crucial games all season, including a dominating 17-3 home victory against Orange County in the first matchup. Meanwhile, Orange County has the talent, the reputation and pedigree for everyone to assume they will win this game and still finish 1st place. But after a 7-2 start, Orange County has stumbled to a 9-6 record, including bad home losses to Honolulu and New Orleans(42-10). Orange County will need a monster game out of Sulieman Ramza to get the road win in the Big Apple, otherwise  the discord party may never end if the famed Otters lose their playoff spot to a 2nd year franchise.

[Mooty99]

Great breakdown, all eyes on the AFSC again for the final week!

[Starboy]

The food mashups sound delicious yet also very strange