Southhamptonshireton: "Good evening sports fans, this is Alistair Southhamptonshireton with British Sports Talk. This evening we are joined by NSFL super agent Archibald Archipelago Archon and his blue chip client, Francois Lamoreux. This should be an exciting evening, as Mr. Lamoreux has an important statement to release to the public. Welcome to the show, gentlemen."
Archon: "Thank you, it's a pleasure to be here."
Lamoreux: "Let us ride the horse to the front of the cart already, no?"
Southhamptonshireton: "Sounds like a plan. Francois, did you want to make your announcement?"
Lamoreux: "This is not easy but I feel it must be done. You all have known Francois as a manly man, who has slept with many players' mothers without shame. While it is not a lie that Francois has conquered many women, the fact is that it left me feeling empty. While a player on the Las Vegas Legion last season I began to have certain stirrings. Francois was spending extra time in the shower with Josh Bercovici. When Ravens Fan From Ontario asked if Francois liked his tight end, I said it was succulent. You see, Francois is like an archaeologist stuck at customs - a bone smugger. Francois plays the skin flute. While I have been a swashbuckling rogue in the past, I am indeed a butt pirate. Francois is gay as the day is long."
Southhamptonshireton: "Goodness, that is a stunning and brave revelation. Have you found any discrimination among your peers?"
Lamoreux: "Francois has only confided in radio man Sweetwater who Francois suspects is a twankverstite himself. During spookyghost practice Francois has been cheek to cheek in more ways than one with Mat Askelsen on the offensive line and it has caused me to break a few athletic cups. Francois thinks Kevin Cushing has plenty of cushing for the pushing. I do not ride horses but for Eric Kennedy I would be a knob jockey. Francois enlisted in the Navy as Seaman Guzzler. Will Francois be hated by the league for being a meat masseuse? Time will tell. Francois knows that he has already faced homophobic discrimination by the Baltimore Hawks who hate me because they think Francois is after their booty. Francois is only interested in football booty if it is natural, and the Hawks use collagen and illegal supplements to accentuate their posterior's features. While Legion butts are scrawny due to being underfed and neglected and Hawks butts are artificially inflated, Francois considers the rear ends of the Wraiths locker rooms to be just to my satisfaction. Juicy as a peach in May, about the same amount of hair as well."
Archon: "I think it's incredibly stunning and brave for my good friend Francois to be open about who he is. I will be watching closely to ensure that he does not face any discrimination by other members of the league who bask in their heteronormative privilege."
Southhamptonshireton: "No question. So Francois, where do you go from here?"
Lamoreux: "Francois will try to avoid prosecution for being an anal assassin. I will resist the urge to go frolicking in Josh Garden's secret garden. Even if Francois has played with Brice's boggs while he was asleep. It will be a challenge to not stare longingly at Bailey Cook's bailey c- well, you get the idea. Francois has a large burden to carry as the first openly LGBT member of the NSFL but I hope to wear the mantle with stunningness and bravery."
Southhamptonshireton: "Wow, so stunning and so brave. I am incredibly impressed by the bravery you've displayed. Let us hope that Francois has a successful career as the first openly gay member of the NSFL and also that Sweetwater will soon find the courage to come out himself."
625 stunning and brave words.
1% to Sweetwater for being fabulous
GRADED
Archon: "Thank you, it's a pleasure to be here."
Lamoreux: "Let us ride the horse to the front of the cart already, no?"
Southhamptonshireton: "Sounds like a plan. Francois, did you want to make your announcement?"
Lamoreux: "This is not easy but I feel it must be done. You all have known Francois as a manly man, who has slept with many players' mothers without shame. While it is not a lie that Francois has conquered many women, the fact is that it left me feeling empty. While a player on the Las Vegas Legion last season I began to have certain stirrings. Francois was spending extra time in the shower with Josh Bercovici. When Ravens Fan From Ontario asked if Francois liked his tight end, I said it was succulent. You see, Francois is like an archaeologist stuck at customs - a bone smugger. Francois plays the skin flute. While I have been a swashbuckling rogue in the past, I am indeed a butt pirate. Francois is gay as the day is long."
Southhamptonshireton: "Goodness, that is a stunning and brave revelation. Have you found any discrimination among your peers?"
Lamoreux: "Francois has only confided in radio man Sweetwater who Francois suspects is a twankverstite himself. During spookyghost practice Francois has been cheek to cheek in more ways than one with Mat Askelsen on the offensive line and it has caused me to break a few athletic cups. Francois thinks Kevin Cushing has plenty of cushing for the pushing. I do not ride horses but for Eric Kennedy I would be a knob jockey. Francois enlisted in the Navy as Seaman Guzzler. Will Francois be hated by the league for being a meat masseuse? Time will tell. Francois knows that he has already faced homophobic discrimination by the Baltimore Hawks who hate me because they think Francois is after their booty. Francois is only interested in football booty if it is natural, and the Hawks use collagen and illegal supplements to accentuate their posterior's features. While Legion butts are scrawny due to being underfed and neglected and Hawks butts are artificially inflated, Francois considers the rear ends of the Wraiths locker rooms to be just to my satisfaction. Juicy as a peach in May, about the same amount of hair as well."
Archon: "I think it's incredibly stunning and brave for my good friend Francois to be open about who he is. I will be watching closely to ensure that he does not face any discrimination by other members of the league who bask in their heteronormative privilege."
Southhamptonshireton: "No question. So Francois, where do you go from here?"
Lamoreux: "Francois will try to avoid prosecution for being an anal assassin. I will resist the urge to go frolicking in Josh Garden's secret garden. Even if Francois has played with Brice's boggs while he was asleep. It will be a challenge to not stare longingly at Bailey Cook's bailey c- well, you get the idea. Francois has a large burden to carry as the first openly LGBT member of the NSFL but I hope to wear the mantle with stunningness and bravery."
Southhamptonshireton: "Wow, so stunning and so brave. I am incredibly impressed by the bravery you've displayed. Let us hope that Francois has a successful career as the first openly gay member of the NSFL and also that Sweetwater will soon find the courage to come out himself."
625 stunning and brave words.
1% to Sweetwater for being fabulous
GRADED
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