08-22-2019, 01:58 AM
(This post was last modified: 08-22-2019, 02:21 AM by lamp_wizard.)
(Since this is a series -- consider THIS piece, finished. Ready for grading.)
A new twitch channel is created today, made by a user named ‘elMagoDeLaLampara’. Links to the stream have been spammed all over the NSFL twitter—if you’re lucky enough, you get to see the odd stream. Just as well, the video is left to be seen at any time on the channel.
PART l
"My name is not important. My wit, my insight, and my analysis--that is what is important. I've been a man in love with numbers, math--and how they pertain to us humans. It's only natural that I combine that with the cold, sobering accuracy of the cards, domineered by luck. As any football player should know through their career, hard work is not good enough. Lady luck plays a larger role than we'd like. The key is to get her on your side.
With that, I begin my reading of the Norfolk SeaWolves. Each player will get one card draw, that will be read according to their performances so far and what I could dig up on the uglier side of the internet. Afterwards, I will give an in-depth reading for the offensive line, and another for the team overall. If I have missed your name--do not fret, I will get to you soon. I will lay my biases on the table--I love watching the carnage in the trenches, and they matter most to me."
These statistics only cover the 6 Prospect Bowl games plus the playoff games before the final bowl game, where only two teams played.
[div align=\\\"center\\\"]
Name//Pancakes (APG/total)//Sacks Allowed Total (AVG)//Tarot Card//[/div]
[div align=\\\"center\\\"]| Bakhtiari, S. | (2.15/15) | 1 (0.14) | Four of Pentacles |
| Chungus, M. | (2.43/17) | 0 (0) | Page of Cups |
| Despacito, G. | (1.14/8) | 0 (0) | Ten of Pentacles |
| Tom, J. | (2.8/20) | 3 (0.43) | King of Wands |[/div]
Bakhtiari: Looking at this boy's stats, and then his season's tarot draw, pulling the Four of Pentacles for this young one makes much sense. His statistical line screams high floor, with a ceiling that is looking for much improvement in regards to other OL--this ties in with the card's positive traits of SECURITY, FRUGALITY, and CONSISTENCY. I have seen players with this type of work ethic and results--and the card warns this one to not shoot for the stars hastily. The Four of Pentacles says to be cautious, empathetic and thorough before moving forward, least they be plagued by the card's negative associations of GREEDINESS, JEALOUSY, and POSSESSIVENESS. Maybe, for this lad, his use to the team might be putting in consistent, high-floor work, where the team does not have to fear for the line to collapse. This player may not turn out to be a solo superstar, but may very well be an important and key component to building a superstar offensive line, especially if he dedicates to working not just on himself but on his teammates as well.
Chungus: Looking at this talented boy's stats, and glancing at his draw--might suggest a bit of a surprise for the lad. Chungus has high goals for himself and his team, however, the card's negative point of view might suggest that he should be cautious against insecurity over one's statistics, or how their achievements measure against others. The card's main theme--a "happy surprise" does not mean this is achieved through laziness, or without hard work. Hardly, no. It's positive theme can only happen if the negative point of view is kept in check--for Chungus, progression must have its own merit, its own joy, and not be carried out due to one's eyes on expectations. Those expectations will fail you, Chungus. Not because you are not capable of meeting them, but because you hold yourself to extreme standards. Extreme standards in the DSFL (and the NSFL) can only manifest through enjoying the process and not for the numbers themselves. Remember that, Page of Cups.
Despacito: One might wish to look at this boy's numbers and simply write him off as average, or a flunk. We call those who would do so, idiots! Why? Because the card that will guide him throughout this season is none other than the Ten of Pentacles, a card that deals with permanence and satisfaction. This card shows you, Garfield, that your hard work and your effort will pay off in the future. Everything will work out well in the end, and the card's positive traits will shine forth--SECURITY, LEGACY, CULMINATION ...if you listen to this cautionary tale. Keep the long-term view of your career in mind at all times. Do not take shortcuts. Face challenges with your face forwards. Mind the card's negative traits, being FLEETING SUCCESS, LACK OF STABILITY, and LACK OF RESOURCES--traits that manifest themselves due to laziness, taking the easy way out, and focusing on the short term over the long term. Yes, you may have not allowed a sack in the preseason--but do not gloat on this! Work on your pancake average, son. Establish an offensive legacy.
Tom: Ah, Joseph. Clearly, you do not have to listen to my ramblings, for your numbers say otherwise, yes? So many pancakes? Ah, yes, yes... WRONG. Well, kind of. Looking at you and your information, I somehow drew the King of Wands. I am only cautious of this drawing because I may have been drinking a tad during the reading, but also due to your quiet nature. Why is that an issue? Well, your statistics are certainly not a problem (Although I'd suggest not letting so many sacks happen! You allowed more sacks than all your other brothers on the line, lad.). The cautionary tale I tell you is the one of a person destined to be the King of Wands, but who does not act as a king. This card represents leadership, overcoming challenges, and accomplishing momentous tasks--which can only be achieved if you are active and working with your fellow linemen! Do not be overbearing, however. You must EARN the position of the King of Wands--all this draw tells us is that you are capable of being one. Do not fall prey to the card's trap: that of impossible expectations. Do a little more in every facet of life.
"Hah. You thought that was it? No, I still must do readings for the offensive line as a unit, and for the team of Norfolk overall! The specifics, and the rest of the team? I'll get to it later. Working one's intuition to death is not smart, nor intuitive.
For both, I will do a three card reading: what it should focus on, what it should worry about, what it has to gain."
"First, let us look at the OFFENSIVE LINE. I draw..."
NINE OF CUPS
THE HIEROPHANT (V)
EIGHT OF CUPS
"The OL needs to focus on forming and fostering its fulfillment and success, at the spiritual and material level. What does this mean? It means the OL must realize that they are more than numbers on shirts, more than meatbags producing numbers for a fictional simulation football league. You are brothers. You hold the line. You must struggle and work together--and you will succeed. Focus not so much on individual pursuits, but focus on your work as a group. This is how you manifest the Nine of Cup's goal--achieving one's innermost desire. The trick is to not be fooled into thinking shallow goals and dreams are one's most personal desire.
The OL must be wary and careful around the Hierophant, or the High Priest. This card represents restriction, and being constrained by rules and expectations. If you feed these restrictions, you will lose control over your life. Remember, this is just a game, as is life--rebel! Don't follow the rules to strictly. The QB does not have to be the most important person on the field, especially when the Queen is on the field. Forge new paths, or fail.
What do you have to gain, linemen? Bah. The world. But for that--that requires the ability to change, to weather the hail of transition, of being able to move into new situations and not falter. This card signifies that the OL is not meant to sit stagnant in the DSFL. Soon, you must continue your path of progression and make a splash into the NSFL. But before then, pave the path! It's easier to walk on it if you do. Focusing on run-blocking (besides strength) would also make this path easier for the offense overall as well."
"Secondly, NORFOLK, keep these things in mind..."
THE EMPEROR (IV)
SEVEN OF PENTACLES
THE MAGICIAN (I)
"What should you focus on, as a team? Given the Emperor draw, I suggest focusing on establishing structure, and a way for everyone to have a piece of control and responsibility so that they feel invested in this project. To the team owners--this will only help cement your authority, and will improve your image and the trust people place in you. This suggests--ah, what a strange sight... ah, the card also tells me that you should really minimize Gimmy's throwing, make him a blocker for your RBs. Don't let him make cute passes--short and simple should be the key to his throws--the rest, let your OL, your TE, and your RBs control the offense and impose their authority on the field.
What does the team have to worry over? Work with no results. Distractions. The main negative trait to look out for this card is knowing when to cut losses, when to act efficiently and carry out damage control. This tells me that you should heavily focus on your defense, and do not expect your offense to be extremely explosive--this is thanks to Gimmy. Evaluate your choices before you commit to them completely. Gimmy might not necessarily be a bad resource, just know what his uses are, and expect more of the rest of the team in order to make up for his lack of expertise.
What does this team have to look forward to? The Magician represents willpower, desire, and creation. With the right amount of effort and planning, this team will be able to bend reality to its will. With the right amount of work, and TPE, this team will be able to influence material reality so well that it will be able to manifest its dreams, and its memes."
"I will add part two in the future.
magoDeLaLampara"
A new twitch channel is created today, made by a user named ‘elMagoDeLaLampara’. Links to the stream have been spammed all over the NSFL twitter—if you’re lucky enough, you get to see the odd stream. Just as well, the video is left to be seen at any time on the channel.
PART l
"My name is not important. My wit, my insight, and my analysis--that is what is important. I've been a man in love with numbers, math--and how they pertain to us humans. It's only natural that I combine that with the cold, sobering accuracy of the cards, domineered by luck. As any football player should know through their career, hard work is not good enough. Lady luck plays a larger role than we'd like. The key is to get her on your side.
With that, I begin my reading of the Norfolk SeaWolves. Each player will get one card draw, that will be read according to their performances so far and what I could dig up on the uglier side of the internet. Afterwards, I will give an in-depth reading for the offensive line, and another for the team overall. If I have missed your name--do not fret, I will get to you soon. I will lay my biases on the table--I love watching the carnage in the trenches, and they matter most to me."
These statistics only cover the 6 Prospect Bowl games plus the playoff games before the final bowl game, where only two teams played.
[div align=\\\"center\\\"]
Name//Pancakes (APG/total)//Sacks Allowed Total (AVG)//Tarot Card//[/div]
[div align=\\\"center\\\"]| Bakhtiari, S. | (2.15/15) | 1 (0.14) | Four of Pentacles |
| Chungus, M. | (2.43/17) | 0 (0) | Page of Cups |
| Despacito, G. | (1.14/8) | 0 (0) | Ten of Pentacles |
| Tom, J. | (2.8/20) | 3 (0.43) | King of Wands |[/div]
Bakhtiari: Looking at this boy's stats, and then his season's tarot draw, pulling the Four of Pentacles for this young one makes much sense. His statistical line screams high floor, with a ceiling that is looking for much improvement in regards to other OL--this ties in with the card's positive traits of SECURITY, FRUGALITY, and CONSISTENCY. I have seen players with this type of work ethic and results--and the card warns this one to not shoot for the stars hastily. The Four of Pentacles says to be cautious, empathetic and thorough before moving forward, least they be plagued by the card's negative associations of GREEDINESS, JEALOUSY, and POSSESSIVENESS. Maybe, for this lad, his use to the team might be putting in consistent, high-floor work, where the team does not have to fear for the line to collapse. This player may not turn out to be a solo superstar, but may very well be an important and key component to building a superstar offensive line, especially if he dedicates to working not just on himself but on his teammates as well.
Chungus: Looking at this talented boy's stats, and glancing at his draw--might suggest a bit of a surprise for the lad. Chungus has high goals for himself and his team, however, the card's negative point of view might suggest that he should be cautious against insecurity over one's statistics, or how their achievements measure against others. The card's main theme--a "happy surprise" does not mean this is achieved through laziness, or without hard work. Hardly, no. It's positive theme can only happen if the negative point of view is kept in check--for Chungus, progression must have its own merit, its own joy, and not be carried out due to one's eyes on expectations. Those expectations will fail you, Chungus. Not because you are not capable of meeting them, but because you hold yourself to extreme standards. Extreme standards in the DSFL (and the NSFL) can only manifest through enjoying the process and not for the numbers themselves. Remember that, Page of Cups.
Despacito: One might wish to look at this boy's numbers and simply write him off as average, or a flunk. We call those who would do so, idiots! Why? Because the card that will guide him throughout this season is none other than the Ten of Pentacles, a card that deals with permanence and satisfaction. This card shows you, Garfield, that your hard work and your effort will pay off in the future. Everything will work out well in the end, and the card's positive traits will shine forth--SECURITY, LEGACY, CULMINATION ...if you listen to this cautionary tale. Keep the long-term view of your career in mind at all times. Do not take shortcuts. Face challenges with your face forwards. Mind the card's negative traits, being FLEETING SUCCESS, LACK OF STABILITY, and LACK OF RESOURCES--traits that manifest themselves due to laziness, taking the easy way out, and focusing on the short term over the long term. Yes, you may have not allowed a sack in the preseason--but do not gloat on this! Work on your pancake average, son. Establish an offensive legacy.
Tom: Ah, Joseph. Clearly, you do not have to listen to my ramblings, for your numbers say otherwise, yes? So many pancakes? Ah, yes, yes... WRONG. Well, kind of. Looking at you and your information, I somehow drew the King of Wands. I am only cautious of this drawing because I may have been drinking a tad during the reading, but also due to your quiet nature. Why is that an issue? Well, your statistics are certainly not a problem (Although I'd suggest not letting so many sacks happen! You allowed more sacks than all your other brothers on the line, lad.). The cautionary tale I tell you is the one of a person destined to be the King of Wands, but who does not act as a king. This card represents leadership, overcoming challenges, and accomplishing momentous tasks--which can only be achieved if you are active and working with your fellow linemen! Do not be overbearing, however. You must EARN the position of the King of Wands--all this draw tells us is that you are capable of being one. Do not fall prey to the card's trap: that of impossible expectations. Do a little more in every facet of life.
"Hah. You thought that was it? No, I still must do readings for the offensive line as a unit, and for the team of Norfolk overall! The specifics, and the rest of the team? I'll get to it later. Working one's intuition to death is not smart, nor intuitive.
For both, I will do a three card reading: what it should focus on, what it should worry about, what it has to gain."
"First, let us look at the OFFENSIVE LINE. I draw..."
NINE OF CUPS
THE HIEROPHANT (V)
EIGHT OF CUPS
"The OL needs to focus on forming and fostering its fulfillment and success, at the spiritual and material level. What does this mean? It means the OL must realize that they are more than numbers on shirts, more than meatbags producing numbers for a fictional simulation football league. You are brothers. You hold the line. You must struggle and work together--and you will succeed. Focus not so much on individual pursuits, but focus on your work as a group. This is how you manifest the Nine of Cup's goal--achieving one's innermost desire. The trick is to not be fooled into thinking shallow goals and dreams are one's most personal desire.
The OL must be wary and careful around the Hierophant, or the High Priest. This card represents restriction, and being constrained by rules and expectations. If you feed these restrictions, you will lose control over your life. Remember, this is just a game, as is life--rebel! Don't follow the rules to strictly. The QB does not have to be the most important person on the field, especially when the Queen is on the field. Forge new paths, or fail.
What do you have to gain, linemen? Bah. The world. But for that--that requires the ability to change, to weather the hail of transition, of being able to move into new situations and not falter. This card signifies that the OL is not meant to sit stagnant in the DSFL. Soon, you must continue your path of progression and make a splash into the NSFL. But before then, pave the path! It's easier to walk on it if you do. Focusing on run-blocking (besides strength) would also make this path easier for the offense overall as well."
"Secondly, NORFOLK, keep these things in mind..."
THE EMPEROR (IV)
SEVEN OF PENTACLES
THE MAGICIAN (I)
"What should you focus on, as a team? Given the Emperor draw, I suggest focusing on establishing structure, and a way for everyone to have a piece of control and responsibility so that they feel invested in this project. To the team owners--this will only help cement your authority, and will improve your image and the trust people place in you. This suggests--ah, what a strange sight... ah, the card also tells me that you should really minimize Gimmy's throwing, make him a blocker for your RBs. Don't let him make cute passes--short and simple should be the key to his throws--the rest, let your OL, your TE, and your RBs control the offense and impose their authority on the field.
What does the team have to worry over? Work with no results. Distractions. The main negative trait to look out for this card is knowing when to cut losses, when to act efficiently and carry out damage control. This tells me that you should heavily focus on your defense, and do not expect your offense to be extremely explosive--this is thanks to Gimmy. Evaluate your choices before you commit to them completely. Gimmy might not necessarily be a bad resource, just know what his uses are, and expect more of the rest of the team in order to make up for his lack of expertise.
What does this team have to look forward to? The Magician represents willpower, desire, and creation. With the right amount of effort and planning, this team will be able to bend reality to its will. With the right amount of work, and TPE, this team will be able to influence material reality so well that it will be able to manifest its dreams, and its memes."
"I will add part two in the future.
magoDeLaLampara"
![[Image: 041p.jpg]](https://i.postimg.cc/wvJJCT5v/041p.jpg)
![[Image: nbi0jtc.jpg]](https://i.imgur.com/nbi0jtc.jpg)
