09-16-2019, 05:34 PM
(This post was last modified: 09-17-2019, 03:16 PM by Fordhammer.)
[Hello. This is purely about the trade deadline draft thingy so it is worth 1.5x media and it is now ready to be graded. This was not worth the time and effort I put into it but I hope you all enjoy. It is over 2550 words long.]
Gather round children! For I will tell ye a tale that will not only strike fear into your bones for many a lonely night but also benefit me into getting a bit of cash at the rate of 1.5 the usual cost! But tread carefully, for this story is not for the faint of heart and once it has been know it can never be forgotten!
Still here? You are either a brave soul or an idiot. I respect you at the very least, friend. But I shall begin now so try to get as comfy as possible as soon you shall be on the edge of your seat!
Once upon a time a magical kingdom existed. A truly grand and populous kingdom at that! In this magical kingdom lived a society that loved sports! One such sport was Gridiron Football. The people of the realm loved this league soooo much that they decided to organise a whooole league for everyones viewing pleasure!
It became know as the Dank Ass Tiddy Fucking League for Bitches n Hoes. However, the DATDLFBNH was universally agreed as a teeny weeny bit too long for people to say or pronounce in initials so it was stricken from the history books and renamed as the National Simulation Football League!
Players from all over the kingdom came over to fight and perform for everyone to enjoy! For glory, wealth and bitches! Especially the bitches! This was for the longest time a fun and gentle entertainment league that everybody watched and got enjoyment out of!
The whoooole kingdom truly enjoyed all of the blood, sweat and tears every player that they saw! Pretty weird when you put it like that, but it is true!
Teams representing a specific locations of the far realm with wacky or wonderful nicknames would go on to win glory and trophies at the big leagues and of course the youthful minors leagues. Also, the Norwich (Norfolk? I dunno somewhere in East Anglia, England) Wolves of the ...Sea? Were there too! Probably just happy to be noticed once in a while! (I dunno, just ignore them and they disappear come play-offs.)
This continued merrily for a generation roughly! With many a fine characters popping up! Such as Alabama born Forrest Gump, A donut, A third person talking Hungarian who looks like the Terminator, Luigi from the Super Mario realm, Someone who looks like WWE Superstar and current NXT Champion Adam Cole (BAYBAAAAY!) and many many more wacky and normal and strange individuals! That was until the 17th occurrence of tradition play in what would be known as "Ye Olde Regular season"
For you see something sinister was lurking in the depths all a long that had happened the season before and the season before that! Many historians or as they are now call 'People with too much free time' even speculate that it happened the season before that too!
An event known as 'The trade deadline!'
This was something to be feared for many a city! Fates would be decided! The youth of tomorrow changed in an instant! Nay, a whole fresh community turned upon its head as quickly as a firm handshake! Truly petrifying.
Many a victim was claimed. For example, one of the minor incidents happened in the mysterious city location only known as Colorado in which it is believed many a big foot roam freely in the mountains! Some say a disturbance happened to a legendary person that could back rub any individual into a happy state. This would be known as the 'Dangles'.
The rumour or myth was that late at night whilst sleeping on the eve of the terrifying 'Trade deadline' he was claimed! Taken away from his home by pesky Outlaws. Rumour to be hiding behind a Sloth with impeccable Swag in the state only known as Arizona! It was rumoured to be them by the specific accidental item they left back.
The 69th rounder. Yes. Only Arizona would have been foolish enough to have forgotten to take the 69th rounder in the season 18 draft with them. Why they even brought it in the first place is beyond me. But let this be a lesson to all of ye of the trade deadline day! This story has a happy ending as Martavius 'The Snack' Mack had been sentence to imprisonment within the Colorado prisons!
Legend has it he has looked inactive for quite sometime but luckily he was holding valuable treasures such as the 3rd and 4th rounder picks with him. So the legend of the backrubber can be a positive one for all!
Incidentally the scariest thing in the whole league may actually be the man who takes the back to a quarter level for the Colorado team! Wolfie McDummy. With no signs of improvement on the field the ongoing torture for the city is only removed by thanks to the amazing and sick graphics they all possess in this land. Will one day all of this pay off for them after recently slaying the evil lord who once used to boast he was the rule of the Yeti? And where does the infamous 'Bubba42' movement of this team truly fit into all of this?
This is all well and dandy to discuss and think about but not all of these have happy endings, such as the main event of this tale! Now we truly get to the bare bones of this nightmarish tale!
A town preacher did announce loud and proud:
"Hear ye! Hear ye! Can I have the leagues attention please! Hear ye! Hear ye!
News comes from the County blessed with Orange! The team proud of the population of lovable Otters have an announcement to make! It comes after extensive discussions from the Hawks of the Eastern lands! A land many avoid! Ball-Tie-More? Baltimore! Sorry, I just do not like the Land of Mary. For she is a terrible queen!"
After screams of people telling him to "Hurry the fuck up, get to the actual god damn trade already..." he town crier took a deep breath to collect his thoughts and continued:
"The mighty birds of the Eastern lands known as the Baltimore Hawks hath received the following:
- The person cursed by the Sun! (SunnyCursed)
- The fate of the youngest child who shalt be decided at a later date but occurring in the 3rd round of choosing who shall entertain us where!
In return for these glorious gifts. We, the colour of Orange living in a county riddled with cute and adorable Otters shall take from the Hawks from the Land owned by the heathen Mary and gift them the following:
- The prisoner known as Yulic Nagasawa
- The rebel known as Corey Trevor. However this shalt come with a stimulation as shown at the end of this generous gift.
- The fate of the youngest child who shalt be decided at a later date but occurring in the 1st round of choosing who shall entertain us where!
The stipulations we have for this agreement are as follows:
- If the rebel known as Corey Trevor should miraculously survive the terrifying land of Season 18 pre-season. We shalt be gifted $2 million in the realm's glorious currency to provide it to our performers in the space that will cap as ours!
- Finally, all cap hits are to be retained by original teams!"
Naturally, the crowd around this were shocked to hear such news. Ladies fainted in the streets, children ran away in terror. Hell, one man tried to break into a VHS shop which was shocking that 1. That existed in 2019 (Or whatever year this sim takes place in) and 2. He would not just try to rob a better store!
Panic everywhere! For this was completely unseen in the public eye and view. How could this hath happened?! Surely this could not be a thing?! But it was!
Now you of younger age listening may question why this is so chaotic! And truth being told that would be a good question. But err...Honestly, I do not know anything about these two teams so I do not know if this is a good trade or not and who for.
I assume SunnyCursed is a very good player to be getting that for him and I assume that this is for the Balitmore Hawks is to go all in on trying to win this seasons championship at the expense of this fairly good draft class upcoming. Whilst for the Orange County Otters they may be eye'ing up a bit of younger talent they like and wanting to build for better seasons without doing a total rebuild.
*coughs* However! The public of the Otter community screamed! Fires that were not Orange sadly were blazing as they realised that this season they were not going to be winning a cool shiny forum badge nor the little sig picture at the top of the website that shows who won last season with zero mention of the minors. This would hath to wait for brighter days!
Meanwhile, the Queen Mary of her Land in Baltimore looked at her kingdom! Proudly! What a team she had built! Could she take down those pesky Outlaws who had as previously mentioned stolen the best gosh darn back rubber the realm had ever seen?!
Would her reign be short lived and this completely backfire and cripple them? Now that was the true question but that could wait, as Mary looked at her pet Hawks who flew mightily around her evil town and she laughed! "Muahahaha!" She laughed again a bit later on "Bwahahaha!" she did it a third time whilst checking reddit on the ye olde toilet "Heh heh, I love r/imsorryjon It is so weird!"
Whilst distracted, she knew that with legendary myth that was the 'trade deadline' had past she was in a good position to take the throne. The National Simulation Football League thrown back into her kingdom (Not the shitty Game of Thrones one. If this was Game of Thrones Dangles would have forgotten how to backrub and died under a pile of rocks or some garbage. I would not do that to you guys <3)
What does this mean overall for the kingdom heading to the war of the play-offs? Well, young ones. It can mean a lot:
The Outlaws who ride in the heat location of Arizona they look to go back to back winners after doing the heist of the century last season that only a couple of people actually saw happening. They now possess a lot of weaponry and can look to truly hurt the rest of the realm. This could in fact be a back-to-back victory royale for those pesky rebels. I do not know what they would do after winning it but I feel the story may end with them actually doing the back to back unless the cruel fate of destiny (Or the game we sim on like) just decides to absolutely shit on them with no lube in sight. No mercy. No help. Just nothing but sad memes and regrets. It sounds like this story tellers Tuesday nights so I am sure they would be fine in time. Probably.
The Sea Wolves of Ye Olde England are...Err...Well, you know. They exist. So you have to give them props for not going out of business. I am sure all 4 fans they have are just proud to see the talent they have that will probably do well when they move up to the National Simulation Football League major leagues for respectable teams will be fun for them. They always have hope they might win a whole play-off game. Man that would be just really spiffy for them. Could even make a ye olde tale out of that I imagine if you skip losing to the Pythons or Coyotes like.
Also, as discussed...The Hawks of Baltimore now possess what they also need in order to compete to stop the reign of the Outlaws! The one huge issue it appears they will have if you listen to the National Simulation Football League Discordia realm network is that they come with one big issue: "Lol Scorp sucks." This was merrily replied in one of the mightiest cheers of the realm in agreement! Could this 'Scorp' truly hinder everything that Mary hath built? Maybe this was all a plan of Baltimore to lure Arizona into a false sense of security. Could these two teams be the overall final? Can these 2 teams even meet in a ye olde final? This storyteller is too dumb and especially lazy to figure that one out.
The mysterious back rubbing-less team known as the Colorado Big Footiers (It sounded cool in my head, roll with it please) look towards a merry future. The controversial "Bubba42" tactic had seen 400% more victories for this team who now hath a young core with dreams of domination. I cannot imagine how the kingdom would look with Yeti's in charge but it may be the case in a few seasons when all of the boys become men! They look to the scouts of the spooky unknown that is the draft and look to find the final pieces of the puzzle which the rebels of the Outlaws may have helped in! Time shall time who grows hair where they least expect it!
The legendary story teller known as Bjorn Ironside believes the 69th pick is useless and irrelevant! But little does he know that this shall change everyone's life forever! (Assuming Dangles continues to give back rubs like)
Finally we move to the cute Otters who find themselves being an Orange colour whilst living in a county rich with the species they are. They...errr...Look, I really do not know. Might have been bad for them and they should be in code blue or maybe this was a fucking 420 wicked sick oh baby a triple tier move but I assume the 1st rounder will help them greatly assuming they do not royally bugger it up. I think they lose short term like the Colorado Yeti do but benefit long term unlike the two. So you can make a case for both but only time will tell who get who for the troubles and if it was worth it.
And there you have it children. The infamous tale of what happened in the horrific 'trade deadline' era of the 17th season of the National Simulation Football League. Could this type of thing happen again? Some say "no it could not possibly." And whilst others say "Shut the fuck up this happens every god damn season" and hell, we even have people not knowing about trades with out teams even happening. (Like me before I made this media. I asked someone to pick me a random trade that was not the Colorado Yeti and ended up with this one lol)
All I know is children...We are getting dangerously close to Season 17 play-offs, the evil and dreadful off-season and then the pre-season of a new adventure of the whole realm. Season 18. Some even claim that this could be followed by another infamous 'trade deadline' and season 19. But no proof have been found for such terrible stories even remotely happening.
Gather round children! For I will tell ye a tale that will not only strike fear into your bones for many a lonely night but also benefit me into getting a bit of cash at the rate of 1.5 the usual cost! But tread carefully, for this story is not for the faint of heart and once it has been know it can never be forgotten!
Still here? You are either a brave soul or an idiot. I respect you at the very least, friend. But I shall begin now so try to get as comfy as possible as soon you shall be on the edge of your seat!
Once upon a time a magical kingdom existed. A truly grand and populous kingdom at that! In this magical kingdom lived a society that loved sports! One such sport was Gridiron Football. The people of the realm loved this league soooo much that they decided to organise a whooole league for everyones viewing pleasure!
It became know as the Dank Ass Tiddy Fucking League for Bitches n Hoes. However, the DATDLFBNH was universally agreed as a teeny weeny bit too long for people to say or pronounce in initials so it was stricken from the history books and renamed as the National Simulation Football League!
Players from all over the kingdom came over to fight and perform for everyone to enjoy! For glory, wealth and bitches! Especially the bitches! This was for the longest time a fun and gentle entertainment league that everybody watched and got enjoyment out of!
The whoooole kingdom truly enjoyed all of the blood, sweat and tears every player that they saw! Pretty weird when you put it like that, but it is true!
Teams representing a specific locations of the far realm with wacky or wonderful nicknames would go on to win glory and trophies at the big leagues and of course the youthful minors leagues. Also, the Norwich (Norfolk? I dunno somewhere in East Anglia, England) Wolves of the ...Sea? Were there too! Probably just happy to be noticed once in a while! (I dunno, just ignore them and they disappear come play-offs.)
This continued merrily for a generation roughly! With many a fine characters popping up! Such as Alabama born Forrest Gump, A donut, A third person talking Hungarian who looks like the Terminator, Luigi from the Super Mario realm, Someone who looks like WWE Superstar and current NXT Champion Adam Cole (BAYBAAAAY!) and many many more wacky and normal and strange individuals! That was until the 17th occurrence of tradition play in what would be known as "Ye Olde Regular season"
For you see something sinister was lurking in the depths all a long that had happened the season before and the season before that! Many historians or as they are now call 'People with too much free time' even speculate that it happened the season before that too!
An event known as 'The trade deadline!'
This was something to be feared for many a city! Fates would be decided! The youth of tomorrow changed in an instant! Nay, a whole fresh community turned upon its head as quickly as a firm handshake! Truly petrifying.
Many a victim was claimed. For example, one of the minor incidents happened in the mysterious city location only known as Colorado in which it is believed many a big foot roam freely in the mountains! Some say a disturbance happened to a legendary person that could back rub any individual into a happy state. This would be known as the 'Dangles'.
The rumour or myth was that late at night whilst sleeping on the eve of the terrifying 'Trade deadline' he was claimed! Taken away from his home by pesky Outlaws. Rumour to be hiding behind a Sloth with impeccable Swag in the state only known as Arizona! It was rumoured to be them by the specific accidental item they left back.
The 69th rounder. Yes. Only Arizona would have been foolish enough to have forgotten to take the 69th rounder in the season 18 draft with them. Why they even brought it in the first place is beyond me. But let this be a lesson to all of ye of the trade deadline day! This story has a happy ending as Martavius 'The Snack' Mack had been sentence to imprisonment within the Colorado prisons!
Legend has it he has looked inactive for quite sometime but luckily he was holding valuable treasures such as the 3rd and 4th rounder picks with him. So the legend of the backrubber can be a positive one for all!
Incidentally the scariest thing in the whole league may actually be the man who takes the back to a quarter level for the Colorado team! Wolfie McDummy. With no signs of improvement on the field the ongoing torture for the city is only removed by thanks to the amazing and sick graphics they all possess in this land. Will one day all of this pay off for them after recently slaying the evil lord who once used to boast he was the rule of the Yeti? And where does the infamous 'Bubba42' movement of this team truly fit into all of this?
This is all well and dandy to discuss and think about but not all of these have happy endings, such as the main event of this tale! Now we truly get to the bare bones of this nightmarish tale!
A town preacher did announce loud and proud:
"Hear ye! Hear ye! Can I have the leagues attention please! Hear ye! Hear ye!
News comes from the County blessed with Orange! The team proud of the population of lovable Otters have an announcement to make! It comes after extensive discussions from the Hawks of the Eastern lands! A land many avoid! Ball-Tie-More? Baltimore! Sorry, I just do not like the Land of Mary. For she is a terrible queen!"
After screams of people telling him to "Hurry the fuck up, get to the actual god damn trade already..." he town crier took a deep breath to collect his thoughts and continued:
"The mighty birds of the Eastern lands known as the Baltimore Hawks hath received the following:
- The person cursed by the Sun! (SunnyCursed)
- The fate of the youngest child who shalt be decided at a later date but occurring in the 3rd round of choosing who shall entertain us where!
In return for these glorious gifts. We, the colour of Orange living in a county riddled with cute and adorable Otters shall take from the Hawks from the Land owned by the heathen Mary and gift them the following:
- The prisoner known as Yulic Nagasawa
- The rebel known as Corey Trevor. However this shalt come with a stimulation as shown at the end of this generous gift.
- The fate of the youngest child who shalt be decided at a later date but occurring in the 1st round of choosing who shall entertain us where!
The stipulations we have for this agreement are as follows:
- If the rebel known as Corey Trevor should miraculously survive the terrifying land of Season 18 pre-season. We shalt be gifted $2 million in the realm's glorious currency to provide it to our performers in the space that will cap as ours!
- Finally, all cap hits are to be retained by original teams!"
Naturally, the crowd around this were shocked to hear such news. Ladies fainted in the streets, children ran away in terror. Hell, one man tried to break into a VHS shop which was shocking that 1. That existed in 2019 (Or whatever year this sim takes place in) and 2. He would not just try to rob a better store!
Panic everywhere! For this was completely unseen in the public eye and view. How could this hath happened?! Surely this could not be a thing?! But it was!
Now you of younger age listening may question why this is so chaotic! And truth being told that would be a good question. But err...Honestly, I do not know anything about these two teams so I do not know if this is a good trade or not and who for.
I assume SunnyCursed is a very good player to be getting that for him and I assume that this is for the Balitmore Hawks is to go all in on trying to win this seasons championship at the expense of this fairly good draft class upcoming. Whilst for the Orange County Otters they may be eye'ing up a bit of younger talent they like and wanting to build for better seasons without doing a total rebuild.
*coughs* However! The public of the Otter community screamed! Fires that were not Orange sadly were blazing as they realised that this season they were not going to be winning a cool shiny forum badge nor the little sig picture at the top of the website that shows who won last season with zero mention of the minors. This would hath to wait for brighter days!
Meanwhile, the Queen Mary of her Land in Baltimore looked at her kingdom! Proudly! What a team she had built! Could she take down those pesky Outlaws who had as previously mentioned stolen the best gosh darn back rubber the realm had ever seen?!
Would her reign be short lived and this completely backfire and cripple them? Now that was the true question but that could wait, as Mary looked at her pet Hawks who flew mightily around her evil town and she laughed! "Muahahaha!" She laughed again a bit later on "Bwahahaha!" she did it a third time whilst checking reddit on the ye olde toilet "Heh heh, I love r/imsorryjon It is so weird!"
Whilst distracted, she knew that with legendary myth that was the 'trade deadline' had past she was in a good position to take the throne. The National Simulation Football League thrown back into her kingdom (Not the shitty Game of Thrones one. If this was Game of Thrones Dangles would have forgotten how to backrub and died under a pile of rocks or some garbage. I would not do that to you guys <3)
What does this mean overall for the kingdom heading to the war of the play-offs? Well, young ones. It can mean a lot:
The Outlaws who ride in the heat location of Arizona they look to go back to back winners after doing the heist of the century last season that only a couple of people actually saw happening. They now possess a lot of weaponry and can look to truly hurt the rest of the realm. This could in fact be a back-to-back victory royale for those pesky rebels. I do not know what they would do after winning it but I feel the story may end with them actually doing the back to back unless the cruel fate of destiny (Or the game we sim on like) just decides to absolutely shit on them with no lube in sight. No mercy. No help. Just nothing but sad memes and regrets. It sounds like this story tellers Tuesday nights so I am sure they would be fine in time. Probably.
The Sea Wolves of Ye Olde England are...Err...Well, you know. They exist. So you have to give them props for not going out of business. I am sure all 4 fans they have are just proud to see the talent they have that will probably do well when they move up to the National Simulation Football League major leagues for respectable teams will be fun for them. They always have hope they might win a whole play-off game. Man that would be just really spiffy for them. Could even make a ye olde tale out of that I imagine if you skip losing to the Pythons or Coyotes like.
Also, as discussed...The Hawks of Baltimore now possess what they also need in order to compete to stop the reign of the Outlaws! The one huge issue it appears they will have if you listen to the National Simulation Football League Discordia realm network is that they come with one big issue: "Lol Scorp sucks." This was merrily replied in one of the mightiest cheers of the realm in agreement! Could this 'Scorp' truly hinder everything that Mary hath built? Maybe this was all a plan of Baltimore to lure Arizona into a false sense of security. Could these two teams be the overall final? Can these 2 teams even meet in a ye olde final? This storyteller is too dumb and especially lazy to figure that one out.
The mysterious back rubbing-less team known as the Colorado Big Footiers (It sounded cool in my head, roll with it please) look towards a merry future. The controversial "Bubba42" tactic had seen 400% more victories for this team who now hath a young core with dreams of domination. I cannot imagine how the kingdom would look with Yeti's in charge but it may be the case in a few seasons when all of the boys become men! They look to the scouts of the spooky unknown that is the draft and look to find the final pieces of the puzzle which the rebels of the Outlaws may have helped in! Time shall time who grows hair where they least expect it!
The legendary story teller known as Bjorn Ironside believes the 69th pick is useless and irrelevant! But little does he know that this shall change everyone's life forever! (Assuming Dangles continues to give back rubs like)
Finally we move to the cute Otters who find themselves being an Orange colour whilst living in a county rich with the species they are. They...errr...Look, I really do not know. Might have been bad for them and they should be in code blue or maybe this was a fucking 420 wicked sick oh baby a triple tier move but I assume the 1st rounder will help them greatly assuming they do not royally bugger it up. I think they lose short term like the Colorado Yeti do but benefit long term unlike the two. So you can make a case for both but only time will tell who get who for the troubles and if it was worth it.
And there you have it children. The infamous tale of what happened in the horrific 'trade deadline' era of the 17th season of the National Simulation Football League. Could this type of thing happen again? Some say "no it could not possibly." And whilst others say "Shut the fuck up this happens every god damn season" and hell, we even have people not knowing about trades with out teams even happening. (Like me before I made this media. I asked someone to pick me a random trade that was not the Colorado Yeti and ended up with this one lol)
All I know is children...We are getting dangerously close to Season 17 play-offs, the evil and dreadful off-season and then the pre-season of a new adventure of the whole realm. Season 18. Some even claim that this could be followed by another infamous 'trade deadline' and season 19. But no proof have been found for such terrible stories even remotely happening.
![[Image: New_Project_25.png]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/893553757776928799/1068665081170251836/New_Project_25.png)
![[Image: oH7u8ye.png]](https://i.imgur.com/oH7u8ye.png)
![[Image: Ijqzxca.png]](https://i.imgur.com/Ijqzxca.png)
![[Image: ekxKH2W.jpg]](https://i.imgur.com/ekxKH2W.jpg)
![[Image: Laser_Tri_Sig.png]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/881551091483955230/1080862142376456222/Laser_Tri_Sig.png)
![[Image: LaserDarts.gif]](https://sig.grumpybumpers.com/host/LaserDarts.gif)
