The Pythons season ended in heartbreaking fashion, but Venus Powers is moving on and getting ready to dominate the big leagues. Ask away about anything, either for Powers or for me personally.
From Jay_Doctor:
Do you approach the NSFL draft the same way you did the DSFL draft?
No, because the NSFL teams are concerned much more with drafting specific talent. Turnover in the DSFL is so high and prospects like myself are so new that teams can be somewhat forgiving for choosing inferior competition at 19th overall instead of myself... (ahem) but for starters, around half the teams in the league already have good kickers on their team. For the ones remaining, drafting a kicker high is a stigma. It’s stupid but it’s how it is. I’ve undoubtedly proven myself to be one of the top talents in the draft, both on and off the field, so I’m playing it by ear and showing appropriate interest in any non-Chicago franchise that’s willing to take a chance on me.
What was the higlight of your season?
The entire Week 9 game against Tijuana. Against the best team in the league we managed to deal them a resounding loss and it felt amazing. The whole team clicked that day. Felt like we could beat anybody.
What are you looking for most in a team?
Don’t be Chicago. Have you seen that team? It’s a toxic environment and I’m willing to be literally anywhere else. The only other real requirements I have are that I get the starting job and that the team is ready and willing to make plans for competing for a title. I want a title goddamnit.
From Frostbite:
What are your predictions for the Ultimini? Ultimas?
In the Ultimini, I’m predicting that the team I hate beats the other team I hate. In the Ultimus, I’m predicting that Yellowknife will finally fucking win as soon as Marshall left because of course.
As for who I am rooting for? Definitely Yellowknife, and very ever so slightly Tijuana. Not because I like Tijuana. I despise Tijuana. If you found a list of “Top Three Anti-Tijuana Users” I’d probably be on there. But if you found a list of “Top One Anti-Minnesota Users” you’d find my name on there circled in red sharpie.
From SabaDonutMan:
Powers = Pythons4Life?
Undoubtedly. I love it here.
What was your favorite breakfast item at the Pythons morning buffet?
There’s a guilty pleasure of mine that I always enjoyed on quite a few mornings, and I know that some of my teammates were a bit confused when I did it. You take a decently sized croissant, cut it open with a knife, stuff it full of chocolate chips, and microwave for 18 seconds. Literal chocolate perfection. Melts in your mouth every time.
But I also liked to indulge in Special K cereal every once in a while. Why Special K? It's because they're delicious 3-grain flakes combined whole wheat barley and rice to deliver a crunchy and nourishing breakfast enriched with a blend of 9 essential vitamins and minerals including; vitamin D, vitamin B, vitamin C, zinc and iron. Special K has many of the nutrients you need to help you feel strong. Ingredients in Special K include: wheat bran, soy grits, rice, wheat gluten, soybean oil, soy protein isolate, whole grain wheat, contains 2% or less of sugar, salt, malt flavouring, sucralose, natural and artificial flavour, and BHT for freshness. Vitamins and minerals include vitamin C (ascorbic acid), vitamin E (alpha tocopherol acetate), niacinamide, reduced iron, vitamin B6 (pyridoxine hydrochloride), vitamin B1 (thiamin hydrochloride), vitamin A (palmitate), vitamin B2 (riboflavin), folic acid, and vitamin B12.
Why do you love the official dog breed of the Pythons the most?(Huskies)
Because huskies are good. I love huskies. They’re absolutely adorable and I want one to take home. Plus I’ve always wanted to go sled dog racing.
What are your thoughts on this new revolutionary Kicker by Committee? Should it be utilized by other teams? Did you enjoy being apart of it?
It was fun, in a sorta “this’ll certainly keep my legs fresh” way but also in a “this is definitely a one time thing” way. I mean if you have two great kickers you should probably just trade one away and keep the other - not necessarily in the DSFL, since that’s a learning league anyway, but in the NSFL absolutely. I do want to be a great career punter as well, not just a place kicker, so even though I’d say I enjoyed it this year I’d really rather not ever again.
From roastfuego:
Hey I respect you a ton. Since I play for Tijuana do you hate me?
Indubitably.
Nah I’m just kidding. Obviously I despise Tijuana but I’ve met so many nice Luchadores over the years that you can’t hate the people for their team. You’re a fantastic prospect, and right now you are third in the whole draft class for training. That’s impressive. From what I’ve seen in the other discord areas you are awesome to interact with and probably a great locker room presence to boot. You and Bur’Berry and Clay are a fantastic trio of receivers with bright careers ahead of you.
But yes, you are a Luchadore and thus you suck.
Does Scorp suck?
Scorp is a Luchadore and thus he sucks. But also scorp sucks anyway. Scorp sucks lmao. I’m pretty sure he’s the only person with a dedicated discord server documenting his stupidest typos.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
I would be disappointed if a woodchuck, which has the words “wood” and “chuck” right in the name, was indeed unable to chuck wood. Like is chucking wood a huge deal for a fucking woodchuck? That’s like being impressed by an anteater eating ants. Or by a poison dart frog being poisonous. These woodchucks need to get their act together. It’s not like you said “if a woodchuck would chuck wood?” because that simply implies that the woodchucks do indeed know how to do their job, they are just lazy. The answer to that would be a lot of wood indeed, because once the laziness is gone they are left with their destiny-given wood chucking abilities. But since the question is “if a woodchuck could chuck wood?” the answer is clearly not very high at all. Because apparently knowing how to chuck wood is an anomaly amongst the woodchucks, and so if one woodchuck finally learned how to do it, he’d be inexperienced and incompetent. It’s like if you took a bunch of toddlers and asked how much dirt they could push if one of them learned to operate a bulldozer - the results wouldn’t be good. Except toddlers have an excuse, because they are named “toddlers” not “dirtpushers”. The goddamn woodchucks are just a race of spineless, incompetent nitwits.
From Jay_Doctor:
Do you approach the NSFL draft the same way you did the DSFL draft?
No, because the NSFL teams are concerned much more with drafting specific talent. Turnover in the DSFL is so high and prospects like myself are so new that teams can be somewhat forgiving for choosing inferior competition at 19th overall instead of myself... (ahem) but for starters, around half the teams in the league already have good kickers on their team. For the ones remaining, drafting a kicker high is a stigma. It’s stupid but it’s how it is. I’ve undoubtedly proven myself to be one of the top talents in the draft, both on and off the field, so I’m playing it by ear and showing appropriate interest in any non-Chicago franchise that’s willing to take a chance on me.
What was the higlight of your season?
The entire Week 9 game against Tijuana. Against the best team in the league we managed to deal them a resounding loss and it felt amazing. The whole team clicked that day. Felt like we could beat anybody.
What are you looking for most in a team?
Don’t be Chicago. Have you seen that team? It’s a toxic environment and I’m willing to be literally anywhere else. The only other real requirements I have are that I get the starting job and that the team is ready and willing to make plans for competing for a title. I want a title goddamnit.
From Frostbite:
What are your predictions for the Ultimini? Ultimas?
In the Ultimini, I’m predicting that the team I hate beats the other team I hate. In the Ultimus, I’m predicting that Yellowknife will finally fucking win as soon as Marshall left because of course.
As for who I am rooting for? Definitely Yellowknife, and very ever so slightly Tijuana. Not because I like Tijuana. I despise Tijuana. If you found a list of “Top Three Anti-Tijuana Users” I’d probably be on there. But if you found a list of “Top One Anti-Minnesota Users” you’d find my name on there circled in red sharpie.
From SabaDonutMan:
Powers = Pythons4Life?
Undoubtedly. I love it here.
What was your favorite breakfast item at the Pythons morning buffet?
There’s a guilty pleasure of mine that I always enjoyed on quite a few mornings, and I know that some of my teammates were a bit confused when I did it. You take a decently sized croissant, cut it open with a knife, stuff it full of chocolate chips, and microwave for 18 seconds. Literal chocolate perfection. Melts in your mouth every time.
But I also liked to indulge in Special K cereal every once in a while. Why Special K? It's because they're delicious 3-grain flakes combined whole wheat barley and rice to deliver a crunchy and nourishing breakfast enriched with a blend of 9 essential vitamins and minerals including; vitamin D, vitamin B, vitamin C, zinc and iron. Special K has many of the nutrients you need to help you feel strong. Ingredients in Special K include: wheat bran, soy grits, rice, wheat gluten, soybean oil, soy protein isolate, whole grain wheat, contains 2% or less of sugar, salt, malt flavouring, sucralose, natural and artificial flavour, and BHT for freshness. Vitamins and minerals include vitamin C (ascorbic acid), vitamin E (alpha tocopherol acetate), niacinamide, reduced iron, vitamin B6 (pyridoxine hydrochloride), vitamin B1 (thiamin hydrochloride), vitamin A (palmitate), vitamin B2 (riboflavin), folic acid, and vitamin B12.
Why do you love the official dog breed of the Pythons the most?(Huskies)
Because huskies are good. I love huskies. They’re absolutely adorable and I want one to take home. Plus I’ve always wanted to go sled dog racing.
What are your thoughts on this new revolutionary Kicker by Committee? Should it be utilized by other teams? Did you enjoy being apart of it?
It was fun, in a sorta “this’ll certainly keep my legs fresh” way but also in a “this is definitely a one time thing” way. I mean if you have two great kickers you should probably just trade one away and keep the other - not necessarily in the DSFL, since that’s a learning league anyway, but in the NSFL absolutely. I do want to be a great career punter as well, not just a place kicker, so even though I’d say I enjoyed it this year I’d really rather not ever again.
From roastfuego:
Hey I respect you a ton. Since I play for Tijuana do you hate me?
Indubitably.
Nah I’m just kidding. Obviously I despise Tijuana but I’ve met so many nice Luchadores over the years that you can’t hate the people for their team. You’re a fantastic prospect, and right now you are third in the whole draft class for training. That’s impressive. From what I’ve seen in the other discord areas you are awesome to interact with and probably a great locker room presence to boot. You and Bur’Berry and Clay are a fantastic trio of receivers with bright careers ahead of you.
But yes, you are a Luchadore and thus you suck.
Does Scorp suck?
Scorp is a Luchadore and thus he sucks. But also scorp sucks anyway. Scorp sucks lmao. I’m pretty sure he’s the only person with a dedicated discord server documenting his stupidest typos.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
I would be disappointed if a woodchuck, which has the words “wood” and “chuck” right in the name, was indeed unable to chuck wood. Like is chucking wood a huge deal for a fucking woodchuck? That’s like being impressed by an anteater eating ants. Or by a poison dart frog being poisonous. These woodchucks need to get their act together. It’s not like you said “if a woodchuck would chuck wood?” because that simply implies that the woodchucks do indeed know how to do their job, they are just lazy. The answer to that would be a lot of wood indeed, because once the laziness is gone they are left with their destiny-given wood chucking abilities. But since the question is “if a woodchuck could chuck wood?” the answer is clearly not very high at all. Because apparently knowing how to chuck wood is an anomaly amongst the woodchucks, and so if one woodchuck finally learned how to do it, he’d be inexperienced and incompetent. It’s like if you took a bunch of toddlers and asked how much dirt they could push if one of them learned to operate a bulldozer - the results wouldn’t be good. Except toddlers have an excuse, because they are named “toddlers” not “dirtpushers”. The goddamn woodchucks are just a race of spineless, incompetent nitwits.
Transgender lesbian, S15 veteran, and (retired) media extraordinaire. Fascists and bigots are welcome to fuck off.
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For Your Reading Consideration:
Before the Butchers | The Jungle
The Giving Tree | Volume II | Volume III
A Winter of Discontent | Volume II
The Rockiest Road | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII | Finale
Two Essays on Unfree Agency: On Agents | On Contracts
Eclipse of the Honey Moon | Volume II
Gemini Media Awards:
S39 | S40 | S41 | S42 | S43 | S44 | S45 | S46 | S47
All Winners
![[Image: cwAUFYO.png]](https://i.imgur.com/cwAUFYO.png)
![[Image: jZiqO11.png]](https://i.imgur.com/jZiqO11.png)
![[Image: 49rZtUA.png]](https://i.imgur.com/49rZtUA.png)
— — —
— — —
— — —
For Your Reading Consideration:
Before the Butchers | The Jungle
The Giving Tree | Volume II | Volume III
A Winter of Discontent | Volume II
The Rockiest Road | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII | Finale
Two Essays on Unfree Agency: On Agents | On Contracts
Eclipse of the Honey Moon | Volume II
Gemini Media Awards:
S39 | S40 | S41 | S42 | S43 | S44 | S45 | S46 | S47
All Winners
— — —
![[Image: rqph9tT.jpg]](https://i.imgur.com/rqph9tT.jpg)
![[Image: 6HEXEeb.png]](https://i.imgur.com/6HEXEeb.png)
![[Image: FrostKnight.png?width=1248&height=676]](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/722897180280619130/876259042392154132/FrostKnight.png?width=1248&height=676)
![[Image: 9nvMhRb]](https://imgur.com/a/9nvMhRb)
![[Image: isflacc.gif]](https://sig.grumpybumpers.com/host/isflacc.gif)
