Hey everyone it’s me Susan Cash.Jr. Sorry I’m coming in a little hot right now. Everyone here is pretty pumped up after our win against the Poodles and we’re hard at work preparing against Buffalo. So the idea here is to do a quick round up of some of the most interesting things that happened during the day one games.
First things first we gotta talk about the uniform fiasco. The first pool games were fine no complaints here, but both New Englands and New York's uniforms were an obnoxiously bright green and yellow respectively. New York’s was particularly bad and I’m going to attribute at least one of my dropped balls to eye strain developed from having to stare at their piss yellow unis.
Second the “backup” quarterback controversy. It seems odd that in a game where the goal is to show off the players that two quarterbacks were not given any play time. Both Suleiman Ramza and Swift Willy sat on the bench for the entirety of their games for apparently no good reason. I talked to Ramza about this after the games and honestly I might be more upset about this then he is, but still you can tell he was not pleased.
Our next controversy has to do with std infected monkeys attacking the DSFL Jacksonville offices and eating the stat book for the Miami @ New England game. This one can’t really be blamed on the league. I mean who could have seen this one coming. I think we should all just be thankful that no one was hurt in the attack. The game footage still exists however and I thought about going through it and archiving those stats, but that seems like a lot of work. It’s free money for anyone who does want to do it however. (edit during the making of this post the documents were recovered)
Winners and losers. When I looked at the box scores after all the games I was honestly surprised by what I saw. A lot of the people I expected to do well disappointed while a lot of people I had previously written off excelled. Fan favorites Phat Boi and Magnus Rikiya didn’t even make the boxscore in their second game. On the other hand Bobby Black and Tom Thorn did much better than I expected them to. Of course two games is hardly a large enough sample size to accurately chart a player's abilities it does serve as a reminder that on the football field anything could happen.
Of course we can’t have a real conversation about losers without mentioning the Cincinnati JetHawks. That team was absolutely destroyed in both of their games. They just couldn’t seem to get anything going on either side of the ball. Their only points were from a 41 yard field goal and when Da Owl decided that enough was enough and took a 72 yard run to the house at the end of the 3rd quarter. I’m not quite sure who's to blame on this one. Is it the coaching staff, was there internal strife in the locker room, perhaps the players were depressed and unmotivated, which as we all know is a common side effect of living in the state of Ohio.
Buffalo wins pool one! I don’t have much to say about this one except that hot damn that defense is one of the most suffocating I’ve ever seen. We will definitely have our work cut out for us when we face off tomorrow. Their offense however, under performed in my opinion. Sure they mopped the floor with Cincinnati but they really struggled against Baltimore. I expected more from such a talented Quarterback and receiving team, but still they played well enough to win and that’s all that really matters in this sport.
(Warning the following paragraphs consist of me mostly talking about myself and my team feel free to skip this part if you like)
When I caught the first pass on the first play of the first game I knew I was going to have a good night, and I did I linked up with Colby Jack for some clutch plays and even scored a touchdown. Would’ve been two but Cadillac Harris put a stop to that crazy notion. My second game was even better (although I made more mistakes. Most notably a dropped pass on 3rd and 5 in overtime.) I had back to back touchdowns and two great catches to set up the game winning touchdown in overtime. I can’t take all the credit of course. Colby did a great job avoiding sacks and keeping turnovers low. Our defense played excellently shutting out Monty Jack and holding the Poodles outside of field goal range during OT. I have a few complaints however. Minor things really, but things that could cost us down the road if we don’t correct them. Our biggest problem is play calling. I feel like we were way to conservative and way too satisfied with punting the ball away. I also noticed that Colby would occasionally miss wide open receivers and try to force it into tight spots. We also had a couple of penalties that could have been very costly for us, but we got lucky and nothing ended up coming from them. If we fix these problems we will win the prospect bowl.
So in the time it took me to type all this crap up another set of prospect games were played. This is probably too long and rambly already so I’ll keep it short.
I’m surprised that Indianapolis didn’t sweep pool one. I thought that in terms of talent they were one of the most stacked teams in the whole league. With an offense led by Ben Slothisberger and White Goodman I felt like they should have easily swept their pool. I guess they cracked under pressure.
Tennessee played some hard fought battles against some really good teams. I was seriously impressed by their performance. They deserve to be in the finals.
Lastly I want to give a quick shout out to the Pittsburgh Hippos. They didn’t win any games and Luke Skywalker had quite a few turnovers but the whole team played with a ton of heart up till the very end.
First things first we gotta talk about the uniform fiasco. The first pool games were fine no complaints here, but both New Englands and New York's uniforms were an obnoxiously bright green and yellow respectively. New York’s was particularly bad and I’m going to attribute at least one of my dropped balls to eye strain developed from having to stare at their piss yellow unis.
Second the “backup” quarterback controversy. It seems odd that in a game where the goal is to show off the players that two quarterbacks were not given any play time. Both Suleiman Ramza and Swift Willy sat on the bench for the entirety of their games for apparently no good reason. I talked to Ramza about this after the games and honestly I might be more upset about this then he is, but still you can tell he was not pleased.
Our next controversy has to do with std infected monkeys attacking the DSFL Jacksonville offices and eating the stat book for the Miami @ New England game. This one can’t really be blamed on the league. I mean who could have seen this one coming. I think we should all just be thankful that no one was hurt in the attack. The game footage still exists however and I thought about going through it and archiving those stats, but that seems like a lot of work. It’s free money for anyone who does want to do it however. (edit during the making of this post the documents were recovered)
Winners and losers. When I looked at the box scores after all the games I was honestly surprised by what I saw. A lot of the people I expected to do well disappointed while a lot of people I had previously written off excelled. Fan favorites Phat Boi and Magnus Rikiya didn’t even make the boxscore in their second game. On the other hand Bobby Black and Tom Thorn did much better than I expected them to. Of course two games is hardly a large enough sample size to accurately chart a player's abilities it does serve as a reminder that on the football field anything could happen.
Of course we can’t have a real conversation about losers without mentioning the Cincinnati JetHawks. That team was absolutely destroyed in both of their games. They just couldn’t seem to get anything going on either side of the ball. Their only points were from a 41 yard field goal and when Da Owl decided that enough was enough and took a 72 yard run to the house at the end of the 3rd quarter. I’m not quite sure who's to blame on this one. Is it the coaching staff, was there internal strife in the locker room, perhaps the players were depressed and unmotivated, which as we all know is a common side effect of living in the state of Ohio.
Buffalo wins pool one! I don’t have much to say about this one except that hot damn that defense is one of the most suffocating I’ve ever seen. We will definitely have our work cut out for us when we face off tomorrow. Their offense however, under performed in my opinion. Sure they mopped the floor with Cincinnati but they really struggled against Baltimore. I expected more from such a talented Quarterback and receiving team, but still they played well enough to win and that’s all that really matters in this sport.
(Warning the following paragraphs consist of me mostly talking about myself and my team feel free to skip this part if you like)
When I caught the first pass on the first play of the first game I knew I was going to have a good night, and I did I linked up with Colby Jack for some clutch plays and even scored a touchdown. Would’ve been two but Cadillac Harris put a stop to that crazy notion. My second game was even better (although I made more mistakes. Most notably a dropped pass on 3rd and 5 in overtime.) I had back to back touchdowns and two great catches to set up the game winning touchdown in overtime. I can’t take all the credit of course. Colby did a great job avoiding sacks and keeping turnovers low. Our defense played excellently shutting out Monty Jack and holding the Poodles outside of field goal range during OT. I have a few complaints however. Minor things really, but things that could cost us down the road if we don’t correct them. Our biggest problem is play calling. I feel like we were way to conservative and way too satisfied with punting the ball away. I also noticed that Colby would occasionally miss wide open receivers and try to force it into tight spots. We also had a couple of penalties that could have been very costly for us, but we got lucky and nothing ended up coming from them. If we fix these problems we will win the prospect bowl.
So in the time it took me to type all this crap up another set of prospect games were played. This is probably too long and rambly already so I’ll keep it short.
I’m surprised that Indianapolis didn’t sweep pool one. I thought that in terms of talent they were one of the most stacked teams in the whole league. With an offense led by Ben Slothisberger and White Goodman I felt like they should have easily swept their pool. I guess they cracked under pressure.
Tennessee played some hard fought battles against some really good teams. I was seriously impressed by their performance. They deserve to be in the finals.
Lastly I want to give a quick shout out to the Pittsburgh Hippos. They didn’t win any games and Luke Skywalker had quite a few turnovers but the whole team played with a ton of heart up till the very end.
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